May the shift gods smile upon you (don’t say the “Q” word)
I hope you get lots of lovely things
And have a birthday just as beautiful as you are!
Lots of love, your fellow basement wife xxx
Oh, my basement wife of so many lovely years, you truly get me! Thank you for these beautiful images of our beloved! Hopefully my shift goes by quick and easy:)
A small fanart of TLJ Poe Damneron. NO, I’m NOT obsessed with this AWESOME and GORGEOUS man, OF COURSE NO. And he has his mother’s ring because he’s just a LOVELY MAN. If anyone writes FinnPoe or Poe Dameron fanfics, just let me know, I have a few ideas I could share with you! Same if you do fanarts! Reblog, but never repost ! ;)
A/N: I really went buck wild with this one i’m sorry to those with short attention spans. Phoebe Bridgers' new record, Punisher, came out a few days ago and it broke my heart just like I knew it would. Moon Song really got me so I had to write a fic about it. I put the lyrics of hers that I used in bold. 🌙🥺
“So I will wait for the next time you want me
Like a dog with a bird at your door”
Genre: emo, sad boi hours
Warnings: get ready for some intense pining, drinking / a lil bit of drunk poe, feeling like you don’t belong, straight up simping, cursing as well :)
Word count: 4178 oops
(If i used your gif, please let me know so it can add your tag!!)
-hai
GIF by @captain-flint
The Resistance hangar was a-buzz as X-Wings began to return to base from their latest mission. Resistance operatives scurried throughout the hangar, giddy to welcome the brave pilots back to base.
Trying to keep your expression light, your eyes casually scanned over the chaotic hangar for the black mop of Poe's hair or the whirring of BB-8 on the metal floor. Anxiety began to build inside you when you didn't see your friend's black and orange fighter emerge from the cloud of descending jets.
Determined to remain optimistic, you grabbed a sweat-drenched Wexley as he passed by you on the way to the hangar door. "Hey, Snap." You said, smiling tightly.
The bearded man turned to you with an accomplished grin. "Hey, Y/N! How goes it?"
"Have, uh, have you seen Poe? I can't find him." Your bottom lip snuck into your mouth.
"Uh, no. He was the one who ordered us to jump to light speed and come home, I figured he would be right behind us." Wexley's dark eyebrows furrowed and his gaze glided across the busy hangar.
"Cool, cool. Thanks." You said, refusing to allow worry to overtake you.
"I'm sure he's fine. At least he was the last time I saw him." The tall man shrugged and turned back towards a smiling Jess waiting for him in the hallway.
Your fingers began to intertwine themselves together and your heels pushed you to rock back and forth on your toes gently.
Long, drawn out moments passed without seeing the Yavinite pilot.
"Goddamnit." You cursed under your breath. Frustration began to build in your fingertips as your thoughts began to spiral.
'Is it weird that I'm still waiting for him? His squadron believes that he's fine, they're already on their way to the Mess Hall. Should I follow them? What if he's not fine and I'm the only one who notices? Would that even happen? He is the best pilot in the Resistance after all...' Your mind ricocheted aimlessly between hypotheticals.
In a desperate attempt to save a bit of your dignity, you took quiet steps back towards the hallway outside of the hangar and let your eyes drift to your boots moving under you.
Turning the corner out of the hangar, your shoulder collided with another. Your eyes whipped up from their home on your feet and your mind pulled itself out of the reverie. Your gaze met that of Leia Organa's.
"Lieutenant Y/L/N," General Organa said tersely, a power simmering behind her stare.
Struggling to comprehend what level of treason you had just committed, you began to apologize, "General, I am so sorry. I wasn't paying-"
Softly, her withered hand found a home atop your shoulder. She smiled gently and rubbed a thumb across the tense line of your shoulder.
"You look sick, Y/N. Do you feel alright?" She asked, her head cocked to the side with concern.
"Oh, no, General. I'm just, uh-"
"He'll be here." Leia interrupted, a knowing smile spreading on her face.
Your mouth opened a bit in shock and embarrassment. 'Get yourself out of this moment.' Your brain was throwing a tantrum inside you, pleading for you to just take it out and put in a drawer to rest.
"Who do you mean?" You scrunched your eyebrows in feign curiosity. You knew exactly who she was talking about, and she knew that you knew.
Putting your comfort before her own desire to tease you, the General ignored your question and continued with her previous train of thought. "We would have heard about it if he wasn't coming back. You would have felt it." She assured you. She smiled softly, moved her hand back down to her side, and walked past you towards the hangar bay.
You shifted your weight in frustration. The spasming in your heart pleaded with you to turn around and follow Leia back to the hangar. To ask her how she knew about you and Poe.
Did he tell her about you? Did he tell anyone about you? Your mind floated towards the muffled laughs and singing coming from the Mess Hall. You could steel yourself, build a fortress around your heart, and go to dinner and pretend like seeing Poe come home safely was of little interest to you.
Knocking you from your thoughts, an orange and white ball droid came barreling through the hallway, stopping to beep and boop in circles around you.
"BB-8!" You exclaimed. You kneeled down to be eye level with him. You scratched his sides happily. "Where is he, buddy?"
BB-8 rolled his eye in a 360 and beeped sarcastically as his head dome motioned towards the hangar.
You turned to look back towards the bustling hangar.
Poe was jumping out of his X-Wing. He wiggled his head out of his helmet and handed it off to the ship tech assisting him.
Your heart swelled with relief. You could feel the adrenaline of worry zipping through your arms and legs. Taking a deep breath, you took unsure steps towards the newly returned pilot.
Poe's suit had several burn marks across the chest and a piece of his sleeve clung to him by a thread. His angular face was covered in dirt and rubble collected in his thick hair.
Your steps began to quicken, seeing him so close to you now and imagining the pain of each of the new burns that he had been given so far away. Your heart flickered with desideratum at the thought of being able to take care of him. Of him trusting you to heal him. A twinge of pain shot across your chest and caught on a hook in your throat.
BB-8 rolled closely behind you as Poe's eyes finally fell upon you.
You smiled brightly, so easily overwhelmed by the pilot's attention.
A soft smile fell across Poe's face and he held out his arm towards you.
Finally reaching him, you pressed your face into the thick of his flight suit and wrapped your arms around his shoulder blades to rest your hands on the tops of his shoulders.
"Good to see you." You whispered. The words seemed to be stuck to the roof of your mouth, forcing you to overchew them on their way out.
Poe held you tight to his body, one hand gripping your neck and the other pressed against your back. His mouth sat buried in your hair, dangerously close to your skin. His breath sent ripples across your cheek as he replied, "You know I had to come back to see you."
You chuckled into the must of his burnt suit.
For this moment, things were as they should be. You had Poe in your grasp and he had you in his. He was safe and victorious and happy to see you.
So that it was too quick to mean too much, Poe pushed away from your rapturous touch.
Your heart burning in your throat, you smiled softly at him. A shaking breath coerced your chest into trembling. You let him go and realized that the two of you had suddenly become a sizable horde of Resistance fighters gathering around the returned pilot.
"Dameron!" Finn's voice boomed from across the room.
You both looked towards your friend's voice as pats on the back and the phrase, "Great job! You're a hell of a pilot!" echoed throughout the hub of people.
Finn pushed past you to gush about Poe to Poe.
"Buddy!" Poe exclaimed as Finn fell into his arms.
Without a chance to fight against it, you suddenly found yourself and the twittering BB unit standing on the outside of a collection of excited Rebels.
You sighed, tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and looked down at the confused orange and white droid. "You tired?"
BB-8 twittered in a pattern that could be mistaken for a 'Hell yes' and without warning, the little droid began to roll towards Poe's quarters.
Taking one last look at the Captain, cracks began to splinter down your chest. So entrenched in the love and adoration of his admirers, his mind had wandered from you. You took a deep breath and turned to follow BB-8 back through the hanger, down the hall, and out of the main building to the Captain's quarters.
BB-8 made it to the door before you did and exclaimed happily when you typed in the code, allowing the door to slide open. The small droid zoomed quickly towards his charging pad tucked against a relatively empty bookcase.
This time, entering Poe's quarters felt like walking on eggshells. The memories of his bedsheets on your bare skin, your fingers curling around his bedframe in pleasure, and your clothes scattered across his floor pulled such emotion out of the depths. Your heart seemed to crawl up into itself thinking of how much you wanted to be with him. You wanted people to see you and wonder where Poe was. The mornings when you woke up next to him remained holy in your thoughts and haunted your days.
Beeping loudly in annoyance, BB-8 drew you into the present.
You looked towards him, embarrassed and guilty for forgetting about him.
The droid moved back and forth next to his charging pad, excited to finally get some rest.
You snickered as you sat up the charging station for him. "Okay, buddy. You ready?" You asked as three blue squares appeared on the pad, ready to charge.
BB-8 whirred onto the metal plate. He twittered a small thank you and then powered down, forcing the charging bar on the plate below him to turn green.
You smiled at the lifeless droid and took a final look around Poe's room. Jackets and partner-less boots littered the floor of his quarters. A curled-up X-Wing manual sat on his nightstand beside a half-drunk cup of water and a broken ear communicator.
Trusting that Poe Dameron would stay true to his personality and want nothing more after a mission than a big meal and a drink, you locked his bedroom door behind you and headed to the Mess Hall, your boots clacking on the floor.
The Hall was sparse, only occupied by those still awake at this time of night and in need of a cup of coffee, as well as the celebrating Black Squadron.
Catching Jess's eye as you walked past the group of chatting fighter pilots, you flashed her a smile.
The warm woman smiled back at you and tapped the table top beside her. "Y/N! Come sit with us." She said.
You laughed and moved around the table to sit beside her.
Helmets and trays of food cluttered the table top under the lieu of conversation between the pilots.
"Man, that high side gun pass..." Wexley stated, shaking his head and shoving another bite into his mouth.
Kare laughed and leaned back in her seat. "Snap, I don't think that would have worked without Poe there to save your ass."
The squadron laughed softly and you pulled the meat of your lip in between your teeth.
Jess elbowed your side softly. "Why don't you get some food?"
You cheeks grew red and you said sheepishly, "Oh, yeah, food."
Standing from the table, you went to the serving line and waited patiently for the Resistance cook, Zeno, to make his appearance behind the line.
Zeno scurried out from behind a huge floating refrigerator, a crate of giant eggs in his arms, and caught a glimpse of you.
"Lieutenant Y/L/N! Uh, just one second, ma'am." The Bothan said anxiously.
You smiled. "Take your time, Zeno."
The man smiled graciously and put away the eggs, wiped beading sweat from his brow and then raked his hands down his spattered apron. Taking his place at the beginning of the line, he asked, "What would you like?"
Your eyes flitted over the tray of steaming Nuna legs, the rack of portion bread, and the assortment of fruit piled up at the end of the line.
"Uh, just a little of everything." You smirked.
Zeno nodded and began the task of fishing Nuna legs out of a pan with tongs. "I saw Finn run out of here with a bunch of other people earlier...the X-Wings make it back okay?"
You nodded heartily and put your hands in your pockets. "Yeah, I think they did."
"Good, good." The Bothan said. His eyebrow raised and his large eyes flicked up to yours momentarily.
A shiver of anxiety ran through you. 'Did Zeno know about you and Poe? How could he know? Would it matter if he knew?'
You forced your mind to re-center itself by taking the full tray out of Zeno's hands.
"Thanks." You said, a touch of suspicion in your voice. Turning from the man, you had the inclination to run. To run from the Bothan's wandering eyes and the sly looks from Jess and the bubbling excitement of talking about Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance. Your lungs feeling rickety, you took your seat alongside Jess.
She smiled at you when you sat back down, but kept her attention on the conversation heating up between the other pilots.
"Y/N, does Poe snore?" Kare asked, pulling you into a foreign conversation. Her arm reached across Jess and her fingers extended towards you, throwing the group's attention to your blank face.
You blushed, "What do you mean?"
"When he's asleep, does he snore?" The pilot pressed again, a smirk plastered across her face.
"I-"
Suddenly, a crowd of people burst through the doors of the Mess Hall. The glow of conversation and laughter cast light across the relatively empty dining room.
Finn's head bobbed up and down in the center of it all, his pride for his friends seemingly emitting from his body.
You let out a breath of relief and caught a glimpse of Poe as he was pulled into the Mess Hall by Finn's determined arm.
Poe was laughing and his eyes were shining, even from here you could see them. His eyes were focused on returning high fives and patting backs. He said something unintelligible to the crowd of adorers and they seemed to disperse a bit. Space was created around him and you could see his chest let out a deep breath. His eyes scanned the hall and landed on your face.
You beamed at him, flecks of passion twinkling on your face.
He smiled softly and then waved to his squad. He exclaimed and the pilots around you shouted back in celebration.
Poe was still in his burnt suit, not being able to change out of it yet because of his admirers. He walked quickly towards your table, Finn jogging along loyally. Poe reached out to give Wexley a handshake and Snap wiped his hands on a napkin before returning the gesture.
Finn swung into the seat on your other side, greeting you somewhat gruffly, "Y/N, hey."
"Hey, have you heard from Rey-" You asked, thankful for something to divert your attention from Kare's line of questioning moments before.
Finn answered without diverting his attention from Poe, "No, I haven't heard from her. Poe, what happened next?"
The smiling Captain took a seat next to Wexley and pulled off his tattered gloves. "So, we didn't know what had happened to Blue Squadron, hadn't heard from them at all. We got TIEs coming at us from all directions. So, I-" Poe paused mid-story. "Wait, where's BB-8?"
Your heart began to thump against your dry throat. Unsure of what to say, you shoved a piece of Nuna leg in your mouth.
The pilots of his squad fell silent, looking to the others with raised eyebrows.
Chewing your food aggressively, you tried to work out what, if anything, you could say that would let Poe know his droid was already asleep in his room, but that would still keep the secret of your relationship hidden from his co-workers.
Kare broke the tension, "Poe, do you snore?"
"What?" Poe exclaimed, irritated that Kare had brushed away his concern for his friend in such a cavalier move.
"We have a bet going and we need to know. Y/N wouldn't tell us." Kare's dark eyes jumped to meet yours.
Finn jumped back from you in confusion.
You swallowed your bite of meat and said defiantly, "I didn't tell you because I don't know."
Poe's gaze met yours. The crinkles around his eyes lay flat and the stars in his eyes seemed to burn a touch too hot. He stood from his seat, "No, Kare, I don't snore. I gotta find my droid."
That was a lie, he snored like a rocket launching.
"I think I saw him rolling towards your quarters, Poe." You offered, keeping your tone casual.
The Captain sent you a cautious glare and retreated back to his seat. "He must have been tired." Poe shrugged, his shoulders shaking off any hint that the two of you were somehow connected.
The rest of his squadron allowed the momentary awkwardness to wash over them.
Snap added a period to the end of the sentence. "Drinks?" He asked.
The pilots around you exclaimed and you nodded yes, your mouth full of portion bread.
The burly man stood from his seat and went back to the serving line to gather the liquor.
Finn snuck a really crunchy piece of fried Nuna skin from your tray and you smirked at him.
Instinctively, your eyes looked to the exhausted Poe Dameron. His fingers rubbed up and down his helmet and the rain of melancholy seemed to cloud his face.
Knowing there was no one else on Base who could see Poe as clearly as you did sat like a curse upon your head. Knowing how fully you would collapse into him almost made you glad he wouldn't let you. Knowing that you could take his pain away, but that he wouldn't let you, gave you the feeling of floating, or falling maybe.
Snap returned with the overflowing metal steins of beer, the contents sloshing over the sides as he sat them on the table in front of him.
Jess slid one to you and you gratefully took a full swig. The liquid burned the back of your throat and tickled the nerves in your teeth.
~~~~
"Can I walk you home?" Poe slurred, his finger drawing abstract designs on your cheek.
You blushed, whether from the alcohol or the pilot, you were too happy to tell. You nodded softly. The tops of your teeth pressed into your bottom lip and your hand wandered underneath Poe's flight suit to graze his bare chest.
The man's body was slumped into his chair beside the empty Mess Hall table. All the harsh lines and scattered regimentation of his job had faded. Poe beamed at you and kissed the inside of your wrist. His smile lines seemed to fill up his face and the strength of his umber eyes seemed to tear at the cracks in your chest.
"Lesss go." The Captain slurred. His strong hand gripped your wrist and pulled you towards the door of the dining hall.
Thinking that he would miss them, you snatched his flight gloves from where they had fallen on the floor of the hall after Snap and Poe had started a game of Sabacc.
Poe pulled you through the door of the Hall and, after looking both ways down the long deserted hallway, threw an arm around your waist. He buried his face in the nape of your neck and took in a long breath.
The feeling of him so close to you punctured your sweet bubble of drunkenness. You wrapped an arm around his back and you walked like this through the sleeping Resistance base.
Poe found it difficult to move without dragging his feet and with every misstep, more of his weight fell upon you.
Finally, the both of you arrived in front of his bedroom door.
"Y/N," Poe slurred, his face still nesting in your neck.
"Hmm?" You responded. You ran a hand lightly through his mess of curls.
"I gotta tell you something." He said quietly.
"What is it?" The beating of your heart seemed to emit from your palms.
"Can I kiss you?" His face moved away from your neck now, but his grip stayed firm around your side.
You turned to him and smiled.
Of course he could kiss you. Of course he could call you in the middle of the night to come over and just lay with him. Of course he could keep you a secret as long as he needed to. Of course, he could.
A fracture of pain struck a chord in your heart as you wrapped your arms around the drunken pilot's neck. "Of course." You whispered, afraid that if you said it any louder he would be able to hear what you wanted to say.
Poe smiled deviously and moved your neck so that he could reach your lips easier. His mouth was kind to yours, pulling gently and tugging with passion.
Your body rested like water in his hands. Making sure to note every texture, you let your fingers wander to the bottoms of his thick curls. Pulling and twisting around them.
Poe's hands gripped your sides and with one last squeeze, he pulled away from you. He smiled softly at you and put in his bedroom door passcode. The door slid open to reveal a darkened bedroom and a sleeping BB-8.
You took in a shaking breath, jealous of the moon light shining thorough his windows. What an honor to spend your life shining across Poe's skin.
For a moment, you waited to hear those words. You waited for him to tell you he wanted you. But, only silence permeated the dark hallway.
"See you tomorrow, Dameron." You conceded, turning on your heel back towards your barracks. Determined to make it to your bed before you started crying.
"I know what you're doing, Y/N." He accused loudly, soberness seeming to return to him in bits and pieces.
You could feel the rush of blood rising in your cheeks. "What am I doing?"
"The answer is still no." He said with an authoritative tone, his head bent down to look out from his eyebrows at you.
You swallowed the ball of fire in your throat. "I'm just making sure you got home safe."
Poe smirked and started to untie his boots already. "You think that doing this stuff will change things," He paused to chuck a grimy boot through his bedroom door. "But it won't. There's things that neither of us can change." He began to untie the other one.
"Well..." You started. The stark reality and the casual way in which he stated it shoved a stake down the canyons in your heart. "I just..want to be here for the next time you want me." Quivering tears threatened to draw trails down your cheeks.
Poe stood up straight and shifted his weight. He placed hands on his hips and the movement reminded you of him hunched around the holopads in the command center. "Y/N, you knew what this would be when we started. You know the rules. There's nothing you can do or say that will change things. I'm not the bad guy here."
You nodded and blinked back emotion. "I know you're not. I just..."
A tug of war began in your mind as you contemplated what you wanted to say and what you should say. The trembling in your chest compelled you and without more than a whisper of forethought you said, "I feel lonely when you're gone and I feel lonely when you're here. I am jealous of your squadron because they get to see you every day and hear your voice for most of their day and...I don't know. I just..."
You cut yourself short and your gaze fell to your boots. The alcohol still in your system threw everything spinning. Taking brazen steps back to Poe, you grabbed one of his hands in yours.
"If I could give you every moon in every single system, I would. I'm sorry if that's hard to hear, but it's how I feel. You're worth it to me, Poe. Whatever we would have to do to be together, you would be worth it to me." Your voice shook and drifted through the hallway in snaggled shards.
Poe's eyes were wide and borrowing into yours. His strong hands turned limp in your grasp.
Desperately, you searched his face for a response. The only thing to be found there was a blank look and deep, mahogany colored eyes combing over your face.
Gritting your teeth, you pulled his flying gloves from your back pocket and placed them in his hands.
"You'll need these." You ended, turning from him and walking as steady as you could back towards your bedroom. Every step carving out more and more of a rift between the two of you.
The promise that the same moon kissing Poe's skin would be kissing yours, gave you just enough comfort to persuade you to fall asleep.
What did you think? I really hope you enjoyed reading my work. Just your liking / re-blogging it means a lot. If you have a moment, I would love to hear your thoughts! Tell me what you think via my ask box or a comment always warms my heart!! Thank you again for reading!
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Summary: You didn’t make it out of the wreck, Poe was sure of it. When he’s brought face to face with you in Kylo’s interrogation room, he questions what really happened out there
Warnings: brief mention of plant crash, blood, sad Poe
A/n: howdy:)
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not my gif
He knew he should have gone with you. A bad feeling had settled in the pit of his stomach when he woke up that morning, but he stuffed it away. He usually felt nervous when you went out without him, this must have just been that same feeling. That day just seemed different, though. He told you about it, but you were already a pilot short due to one of your squadron members catching a nasty cold, so you had to go. You promised Poe you’d be extra careful, but he still felt anxious.
With a bright smile and a quick peck on his cheek, you left the safety of the Resistance base and went out to do some recon.
--
Poe absolutely could not believe his eyes.
A dull throb in the back of his head pulled him from his slumber. He groaned quietly, moving to reach towards the source of the pain, but his hands stayed bound to where they were.
Poe’s eyes shot open, darting straight to his wrists. He was strapped to a metal table, nearly standing upright. The previous events rushed to him in an instant, and he felt his stomach clench in anxiety.
His attention was diverted to another interrogation table a few feet away from him when he heard a faint inhale.
His breath caught in his throat, and tears sprung to his eyes. He had to have been hallucinating, there was no way he was seeing who he thought he was seeing. If he was, it was a damn realistic hallucination.
You were laying limply against the table, chest rising and falling slowly, but consistently. You were there, right in front of him, alive. Poe noticed the dried blood and bruises spread across your face, they looked real. You looked real.
Poe shook his head, trying to snap himself out of whatever nightmare he was having. When nothing around him changed, he felt the cold hand of fear wrap around his heart. “Y-y/n?” He barely spoke, briefly wondering if he was dead. You were gone. This couldn’t be real.
But when you opened your eyes, looked up at him, and croaked out his name in shock, he started to second guess his own knowledge of your death.
“You’re alive?”
You weakly nodded, happy to see his pretty face for the first time in weeks. Your voice came out scratchy and strained, but Poe didn’t miss a single word. “You look tired.” You noticed with a frown. You hated when Poe didn’t get enough sleep.
“I-I thought you were dead. We all thought-“
“The first order picked me up, after I crashed,” Poe’s heart clenched as your voice wavered, “they’ve kept me here.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, y/n."
You went to respond, but a wave of nausea stopped you. You shivered, letting out a quiet whimper. You could hear his attempts to free himself from his restraints. He grunted quietly as he struggled against them.
“I searched for you, I-I was out there for days.”
“I know you did.” you smiled at him, spitting a glob of blood from your mouth. You knew Poe would have looked for you, you always did. If only one person was out there looking for you, it would be Poe. You never doubted that.
“When we found the wreckage, I-“ he inhaled a sharp breath, “I thought-“
“It’s okay, Poe,” your head dropped slightly, “it’s alright.”
“Your ship was completely destroyed. They said it happened on impact. If I’d have known you survived, I would have found you, I swear. I wouldn’t have stopped looking.”
“I know.” Your eyelids drooped dangerously low, setting off alarm bells in Poe’s head. He pulled against his restraints, making no progress in freeing himself whatsoever.
“No, hey, no. Stay with me, y/n, don’t close your eyes.”
You could barely keep your eyes open anymore. “I waited for you to wake up. I’ve been waiting. I’m so tired, Poe..”
“I know you are, baby. Just hang in there for a little while longer for me, okay?”
You looked up at him slowly, sending him the biggest smile you could muster with what little energy you had, which wasn’t much, before losing your battle against consciousness. Poe’s pleas to you grew quiet as you drifted off.
—
When the pressure on your wrists and ankles was released, you fell forward. Instead of hitting the ground, you were met with a sweaty chest. Arms were wrapped around you, and you were gently flipped on your back.
You opened your eyes, connecting them with your favorite set of chocolate orbs. You didn’t like the sheer panic held in them, but you didn’t have the energy to do anything about it. He held you against him, brushing the hair from your face.
“Y/n, baby?”
You pressed your head into his chest, relishing in his warm embrace for the first time in far too long. His hands shook as he moved them underneath you.
“I’m gonna get us out of here. I’m gonna get you home.” He brought you up against him, carefully hoisting you up. A quiet wince from you drew out a thousand apologies from Poe, but he knew he didn’t have much time to escape, so he pulled you up quickly. He turned and spoke to someone you didn’t recognize, but you were too tired to investigate.
You just let your head loll against his chest, closing your eyes once more in exhaustion.
Summary: About a year after The Rise of Skywalker, the Knights of Ren have once more gathered against the Rebellion. You were once an apprentice to Kylo Ren but after the events on Exegol, you were forced into hiding. With some of the remaining Knights of Ren, you work to rebuild what Kylo Ren was fighting to build. Yet, what happens when you are taken by the Rebellion and interrogated by the Best Pilot in the Galaxy turned General?
Genre: Adventure
Warnings: A little abuse and tiny mentions of sex
Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
With a sudden jolt of your chair, you wake up in a haze. Your forehead had been resting against your arm on the table and you could feel where it left a mark on your face. The grey walls around you made you remember that you were in the little library somewhere in Geonosis. Your face settled into a scowl as you looked up at a former Knight of Ren, Vicrul.
“We have a meeting,” Vicrul’s low voice scraped against your ears, “the Rebellion has taken another planet as their own.” He was tall and leaned over you like a vulture. He did not wear his knight’s uniform, and wore a long black robe with red embroidery along the sleeves. You envied the red stitching because you knew you’d never be allowed to wear it. Only Ren’s knights were given the privilege of wearing red embroidery. You, on the other hand, had gold stitched along the collar and the edges of the long sleeves of your black dress.
You may not be a Knight of Ren, but you were once his apprentice. Kylo Ren had found you on a small planet along the outer rim. You were a pickpocket and almost had the misfortune of stealing from Kylo Ren himself. He caught you before you could get close enough to stick your fingers in the folds of his clothing. You were sure that would be the moment you died, but Kylo Ren saw something in you. Perhaps it was your anger or maybe your fear. You would never know what made Kylo spare you in that moment, but you had been by his side for years after that. He even favored you to some of his knights. Despite this, he refused to make a girl one of his Knight of Ren.
“Which planet?” You stood and smoothened out your dress and tried to clear your head of any fatigue. The air was buzzing with Vicrul’s otherwise well hidden anxiety. He was worried. Good.
“Ithor,” Vicrul practically growled. You cursed under your breath. That planet was your responsibility and you let it slip through your fingers.
“That’s impossible,” you were losing your composure, “I had it under control. They weren’t going-”
“Listen, Princess,” Vicrul spat the pet name out like it was venom, “I don’t know who you think you are, but we need every planet we can. You need to make it clear that it’s our side or death.” You began to protest again, but Vicrul grabbed your upper arm and forced you against the closest wall of books.
Even though you had been Kylo Ren’s padawan, your specialty was not combat. Sure, you had two lightsabers hanging around your hips, but they were not sith sabers. Kylo had trained you to use the force and to read the minds of those around you. But, you were not meant for combat. Kylo Ren made sure that he and his knights always had the physical advantage over you. A constant reminder that you were not a Knight of Ren; you were his obedient princess - a pet to fond over. Someone to use and abuse in whatever way Kylo Ren wanted. Vicrul knew you couldn’t physically fight back. He used that fear to control you.
“You better figure out a way to get that planet back, little girl,” Vicrul’s face was so close to yours that you could feel flecks of spit hit your skin. “You’re also going to get ten new planets for us. Do you understand?” Vicrul gave your arm an extra shake to help make his point. You felt your anger rising within you. You may not be a knight, but you weren’t helpless.
“Poor Vicrul,” you say in a whisper, “you think you’re losing this war? You think the others haven’t noticed which way the wind is blowing? Cardo and Ushar have abandoned us because they were smart-”
“Get out of my head!” Vicrul dropped your arm and quickly delivered a backhand to your cheek. You knew that it was going to leave a mark and it stung enough to bring tears to your eyes. Still, you embarrassed the pain. You would use it to get the planets back.
“Let’s go, Trudgen and Kuruk are waiting for us.” Vicrul began to lead the way out of the library when Kuruk suddenly ran in. He wore the same robes as Vicrul but his face was older by a few years. Despite everything, you liked Kuruk. He had a quiet and cold rage similar to your own.
“The Rebels found us,” Kuruk said through breaths, “our ship is ready but we must leave. Trudgen is holding them off at the entrance and he asked for your help, Vicrul. Y/N, come with me, we’ll-”
“No,” Vicrul pulled Kuruk out of the library with him, “she stays. Maybe she can find a way to get our planets back.” Now that you were listening, you could hear laser blasts in the distance. You felt the force of many bodies around you. How could you have missed this? Perhaps if Vicrul hadn’t been so distracting you would have noticed sooner.
“Stop your games,” Kuruk took a step towards you but Vicrul placed a hand on his chest, “the rebellion will find her and she will be their prisoner. We’ll have someone on the inside and y/n can finally be of some use,” Vicrul gave you a cruel smile, “Don’t worry, little one. We’ll come get you… eventually.” You would not stand for this. You reached for the two lightsabers at your hip but Vicrul closed the library door before you could reach him. You tried to chase after Vicrul and Kuruk, but the doors were locked. You were a sitting duck.
It didn’t take long for the rebel forces to find you. Without saying a word, you surrendered. If Vicrul wanted an inside man, fine. You would be his obedient spy, for a little while at least.
A blond girl with braids on either side of her head took your lightsabers and put handcuffs around your wrists. You could feel the adrenaline running through her and it didn’t take a force sensitive being to know that she was nervous about being here.
“Poe!” The girl helped you to your feet and called for one of her comrades. A man a little older than you and the girl entered. His dark curly hair was dusted with the Geanocian sand. His strong shoulders relaxed a little when he saw the girl. Yet, when your eyes met his, he stopped in his tracks. You could feel his thoughts: awe, wonder, and mild recognition. This man, Poe, knew you but couldn’t remember how. You wondered if you knew him.
“We’re going to give you a sedative,” the girl said next to you. You began to pull away from her. A sedative would make you vulnerable. Kylo Ren had taught you about how easy it is to invade others’ thoughts when they were unconscious. If they had a Jedi with them, you would be completely exposed.
You pulled against the girl’s grip and backed away from her. With your back to a wall of books, you had nowhere to go. Your hands were behind your back but you weren’t helpless.
“Get Chewy!” The girl began to leave the room, but Poe stopped her. He kept his gaze on you. Slowly, he raised his hands and put his blaster down. He began to move towards you. You could feel his thoughts before he began to speak. He liked the way your dress hung on your body. The color of your eyes seemed distracting to him. The way you moved gracefully despite having your hands tied behind your back impressed him.
“We can’t trust you,” He spoke softly, “you won’t trust us but I need you to cooperate. We aren’t going to hurt you. We just need to sedate you until we arrive back at our base. Do you know who we are?”
“You are what is left of the rebellion,” you answer. A small corner of Poe’s mouth quirked up. He liked the way your voice sounded. You found yourself blushing and shook the thought from your mind.
“I’m Poe Dameron,” he introduced himself with a charming smile. His voice was warm and he seemed genuinely concerned about making sure you trusted him.
You watched as Poe’s hand slowly dipped into a bag strapped to his chest. If he thought you were going to allow him to sedate you, he was crazy.
After making a decision, you made a faint to the left and tried to make a run for the door to your right. You used the force to pull your lightsabers out of the girl’s grasp. However, before your weapons reached you, a body forced you to the ground. Poe wrapped his arms around your waist and threw you against the floor hard enough to make your head bounce. He was so much stronger than you realized.
In almost no time at all, Poe was straddling you and holding both of your hands above your head with just one of his. With his free hand, he administered the sedative. A small needle pierced the skin on your neck. You could see the regret on Poe’s face as your vision tunneled and you lost consciousness.
Carefully, Poe picked you up and cradled you against his chest. The dress you wore was soft and made you seem regal. Poe looked down at your face again, trying to remember where he had seen you before.
“The knights have escaped,” Finn entered the library. He smiled when he saw Poe carrying your body.
“You’ve made a friend! Connix, she seems like more your type, though.” Lieutenant Connix rolled her eyes. She bent to pick up the weapons that were once strapped to your hips. She hadn’t recognized them before, but now she knew: they were lightsabers.
“She’s a jedi,” Finn looked back at Poe.
“Or a sith,” Connix countered, “I mean, look at the way she’s dressed. Have you ever seen a jedi wear all black?”
“C’mon Connix,” Poe chided as he made his way out of the room, “You know what they say about assuming. Let’s get her back to the base.” Poe tried to mask his curiosity. He wanted answers like Connix and Finn did, but he remembered you from somewhere. As he looked at your face again, he felt like he was searching for a dream he had once. He wanted to know who you were.
Chapter 2
A/N: Hello! Thank you so much for reading another Poe fic! This will be a six part series I think. Please please please let me know what you think! :)
Moodboard for The Stars Were Made For Falling by @tintinwrites
“Don’t,” Poe said when you started to move back to your seat. “No, no, don’t even turn your head. Stay like that. Just like that.”
His view was of your profile against a starry background as you froze where you stood. “Why am I standing like this?”
“It’s just nice to see something beautiful among all the shit.”
I don’t see any difference, my two fav couple of gays <3 one from the outer banks in Northern California and the others in another galaxy, far, far away...
I mean, they’re soulmates. If anyone Stan these two feel free to talk to me anytime bc you’ve got very very good taste.
