You guys. I wrote a thing. And then actually remembered how to post it on ffnet.
Edit: I tried to put it under a cut, but when I tried to open it up, it’s not working (something’s up with tumblr I think), so I’m just leaving it all right here.
Opening the front door, Deeks lets Monty off his leash and steps inside.
He walks through the living room and steps into the kitchen, but she isn’t there. The dinner he’d heated up for her before taking Monty out is still in the microwave, which means she hasn’t even made it downstairs yet.
Deeks lets out a slow breath. His heart aches for Kensi and all that she had to go through with David today. He can’t remember ever seeing her so visibly shaken at work before. She had been silent the whole drive home from the scene, and when he told her he was taking Monty for a walk, and even when he asked what she might want to eat. When he and Monty left, he had heard the shower start in their bathroom.
Monty’s whimpering pulls Deeks out of his trance and he finds the mutt sitting outside their bedroom door, clearly wanting to get in.
“You know she’s upset, don’t you, boy?” Deeks opens the door slowly as Monty pushes his way inside.
Kensi is sitting cross-legged on their bed, her hair still wet from her shower, staring at her hands in her lap. If it wasn’t for Monty nuzzling at her knee, Deeks doesn’t think she would even know they are there with her.
She doesn’t look up, and doesn’t say anything, but she does reach out to rest her hand on Monty’s head, which calms the sweet, aging pup. Deeks walks to the bed and takes a seat beside her, reaching his arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him. She comes willingly, leaning her head against his chest as her tears start to fall again.
“I wish there was something I could do,” he whispers as he holds her.
Kensi wipes her cheek and reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers together.
“You are everything to me. You know that, right?”
Her words catch Deeks by surprise, this isn’t what he thought they would be talking about tonight.
“Of course I do,” he assures her as he kisses the top of her head and remembers when he told her the same thing last year.
Small wedding, big wedding. Kids, no kids. NCIS, no NCIS. They might have different ideas about various parts of their life and future together, but he doesn’t doubt her love for him any more than he could ever deny his love for her.
Deeks furrows his brow, confused by the turn their conversation is taking. “We are getting married…”
Kensi sits up and faces him, keeping her hands entwined with his. “No, I mean I don’t want to wait for the wedding. I want to get married. Tomorrow…this weekend. Soon.”
“Kens,” he reaches up and tucks a stray hair behind her ear, “what’s going on?”
“After David talked to his wife, he told me how it made him realize that his life had meaning because he lived and loved and was loved...” Kensi pauses to compose herself, “and it made things so clear for me. The wedding doesn’t matter. And the work we do, it might be good, but it doesn’t mean anything if I don’t have you at the end of the day.”
“Baby…” Deeks tries to interrupt, but Kensi shakes her head and continues.
“When I asked you to marry me, I said that I wanted to spend whatever time I had left with you. If it’s possible, I mean that more today than I did back then. Deeks, I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. And if you want us to get out of the field one day and go run our no-name bar, we can figure that out too. Because what matters is you and me.”
There are still tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, but as Deeks looks at her, the fire he loves about her is there too. He leans forward and kisses her forehead before placing a long, slow kiss to her lips.
“First of all,” he says as he pulls back, “I’m so sorry for what you had to go through with David today. I know it wasn’t easy.”
Kensi exhales slowly as she fights back more tears.
“And second, I love you very much and I can’t wait to marry you and have babies with you and live life with you. And whether we get married tomorrow or in a few weeks at the wedding we’ve already planned and sent out invitations for, that won’t change.”
Kensi kisses him this time, running her fingers through his curls and the scruff along his jaw.
“I love you,” she says softly as she rests her forehead against his.
A small smile forms on Deeks’s face. “So, don’t you see, Kens? You do love and you are loved.”
He leans back and settles himself onto the pillows, pulling Kensi with him so they’re lying down, curled into each other. As they lie there in the quiet, nothing else really needs to be said. Deeks rubs slow circles on her back as he watches her start to drift in and out of sleep. Only after her breathing falls into a slow, steady rhythm and her grip on his waist eases, does he let himself close his eyes.
“You and me…” Kensi’s sleepy words are barely audible as she slips further into dreamland, but Deeks doesn’t miss them.
“Yeah, babe. You and me.”
