so i've decided that in order to get back on track and out of this rut, i need to start seeing something positive in myself and in each day. as part of a new self-exploration project, each day i'm going to choose a part of my body that i like and really think about why i like it. i'm also going to find at least one thing of each day that is positive, focus on that, and take the time to enjoy it. so here goes;
today i looked in the mirror and chose to focus on my arms. yeah, i've gained weight in them since the beginning of the summer, but they're not meant to be sticks. they're meant to hold things and move things and do things. i like how tan they are from countless hours in the sun. i like that when i flex i can see the slightest muscle definition. they look stronger and solid, not frail, and i love them for that.
as for today, i had the old familiar urge to write again earlier. i used to write all the time during my freshman - junior years and i've lost interest. but i had the feeling that i wanted to write and even read, which is great. it's a shining through of the old me. also i went to two different farms and bought some delicious food from the earth. i bought 8 nectarines, 3 pears, 1/4 watermelon, 1.5 bunches of bananas (about 10 to be exact), and a yummy salad of mixed greens, shredded carrot and zuchini, red onion, and kidney beans. also, my intake has been pretty healthy for the day. i bought organic oat bran pancake mix at the store the other day so i had those for breakfast with white chocolate pb and a drizzle of syrup (aunt jemima - which bothers me but i'm not perfect right). after my interview i had sliced mango, some watermelon, and a small banana, then a little later on i had lots of baby carrots and hummus. then i just had that salad from the farm.
i'm disappointed in myself though because i wasn't hungry and i ate the salad anyways with fat free honey dijon dressing. i'm not sure why i did that but i need to work on that. at least it was a salad though and not a cookie or something.
i'm going to try to be fully vegan in the next few weeks. i never thought i could do this, but i actually cut out yogurt from my diet. haven't had it in about a month, and i don't miss it. next is eggs (which i really only have in pancakes sometimes) and milk (for cereal and stuff - i need to start getting almond milk again). and then i need to seriously set meals and and snacks into motion. 3 meals, 2+ snacks - healthy vegan diet. i mean it's really not going to be easy but i'm tired of feeling like this and need to start something new.
so that's my radiation of positivity for the day, or at least my attempt at it. {you're cute if you read all of this xox thankss}
