#rae's headcanons

[kurtanaaa]

random question i thought of and was like “this seems like something that rae would answer best”

what’s each of the new directions favorite chapstick brand/flavor?

ana i love u thank u for thinking of me for this. lets go girls

santana: absolutely a lip gloss girl. has a massive collection of different lip glosses and judges them all on a specific set of criteria. her favourite one is a coca-cola scented lip smackers lip gloss that she got as a gift that was somehow perfect across the board. the day they stop selling it is the day she burns the world to the ground

sam: a classic man. he likes chapstick best! as we know from his massive collection in his locker. he really likes the holiday ones that smell like candy canes and baked goods and shit like that they make him happy

puck: didnt use to use chapstick (would just lick his lips like a weak bitch) until rachel forced a tiny container of vaseline into his hands. now hes never seen without it

mercedes: shes obsessed with eos lip balms. she LOVES those little eggs and all their bright colours and she does not give a shit about them being a dead trend. she will keep collecting her little eggs forever. her favourite one is the orange scented one she got in a limited edition set

rachel: only uses beeswax lip balm from small pop up businesses that she finds wherever she can. shes very specific about them being made with all natural Ingredience and it all has to smell like roses.

kurt: i think ive said this in another post but his favourite scent is mocha and he uses pretty much whatever lip balm comes in that scent. its not about the brand for him its about the Experience. unless that brand of mocha smells bad. then he puts that brand on blast online and they take a massive hit in their stock

mike: he also likes chapstick brand. he really likes the mint one and buys them in massive packs of twelve constantly. its the only one he'll use and if he runs out he will simply exist with dry lips until he can get more.

tina: this bitch is infatuated with all things lush. shampoo from lush. conditioner from lush. bath bombs from lush etc etc she loves it there she loves walking in and being wallopped by scent. she loves the little pots of lip balm and her favourite is the key lime pie one bc the colour is so fun and it smells DELIGHTFUL

quinn: shes a glossier girl. shes a bad bitch. she has the Money. also she really likes that the little tubes look like paint tubes because marketing tactics work on her. her favourite scent is mango bc mercedes once said that mangoes were her favourite fruit and in her heart of hearts quinn will always be a little bit in love with mercedes

artie: blistex. his mom buys it for him because shes a lovely woman who thinks its a perfectly good choice of lip balm and buys it in bulk at costco

blaine: this man is addicted to burts bees lip balm and is also addicted to losing them. he has to buy new ones every two weeks because good lord is he incapable of keeping track of this shit. "just put them in your pockets" he CANT because that creates uneven lines in his PANTS samuel evans ‼️‼️ he likes the tinted ones best bc hes a fun little man like that

brittany: glittery lip smackers that smell like cookies and cake all the way down. gets really upset if her lip balm doesnt smell like baked goods so santana always carries some for britt just in case she loses her own. the scent is very calming to her

finn: didnt use lip balm, still doesnt, never will, somehow never has an issue with dry skin. everyone hates him.

[raefill]

kinktober 2017 day one / sleepy sex (somnophilia) / ereri

Levi doesn’t sleep much, but when he does he sleeps deeply. If he feels safe and cosy then there’s pretty much nothing that could wake him. Eren likes to take advantage of this time in a lot of ways.

Sometimes he uses it to watch all of the embarrassing TV shows that Levi would pretend not to judge him for watching. Sometimes he eats an entire tub of ice cream on the sofa with no protective tea towel to save the fabric from stains. Sometimes, with Levi’s prior consent, he takes the time to admire his boyfriend.

Eren never thought he would appreciate a little bit of objectification so much. When Levi is awake he’s usually busy and glares self-consciously if Eren stares too hard or watches for too long. But when he’s asleep and unaware of Eren’s admiration, he can look all he wants.

Levi may have woken up one too many times to find Eren watching him and said something along the lines of “if one day I wake up to find you jerking off and staring at me like that I wouldn’t be remotely surprised,” then watched Eren turn pink and shrug in the way that means Levi might be hitting a little too close to home.

Eren stubbornly avoided talking about it for a while, so Levi provoked him instead, making sure to sleep in his nicest underwear and turn the heating up so he could forego sheets. 

One day Levi wakes up to fingers wandering his chest and a pouting boyfriend muttering “you’re such a tease.” Levi begrudgingly admits that he loves how badly Eren wants him and so an agreement is made. 

On days where Levi hasn’t got any obligations he wakes up with Eren’s mouth and hands on him, cock and nipples sensitive from where Eren has already teased reactions from him. 

Sometimes he’ll close his eyes and pretend he’s not blushing, lets Eren touch him until they’re both dripping come onto Levi’s abdomen. Sometimes he’ll crack his eyes open, spread his legs a little and let Eren slip between them. It’s always slow and it’s always fucking decadent.

Something about the haze of sleep pulls Levi’s energy to worry from his hands and lets him fall into Eren’s with a unique kind of passive, languid, contentment. 

And if every now and again Levi drifts into a half sleep - half awake state of being where Levi’s inhibitions fail him, and long, loud moans pass his lips, neither of them say anything about it. 

[kurtanaaa]

my explanation for why brittany didnt say anything to kurt when she was leaving in all or nothing is that they actually have a telepathic connection and the whole time they were having a conversation about seafood

[kurtanaaa]

may I ask about comic artist Sam <3 do you have any headcanons?

YES MYLE YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN ASK!!!! thank you very very much for asking im sorry for such a delayed response!!!!

so in my little brain, sam is a neurodivergent individual and while he does love people very much he often prefers going into his own little worlds because theyre much easier for him to understand

and this is why he loves sci-fi and fantasy stuff so much!!!! it consists of written environments that are so much more interesting and people that are much easier to understand because you see their internal thought processes

he gets very fixated on whatever piece of media he's into at the time, but one thing that remains is that he always focuses on visual aspects most and finds colourful things more engaging

so!!!!! he starts drawing and doodling his favourite characters and scenery he really likes, which expands into drawing his own settings and creating aspects of worlds like foods and items and vehicles

then he starts inserting his favourite characters into scenes, which evolves into making little comics out of them, which evolves into him thinking "damn this is a lot of fun"

he starts drawing (unofficial) variant covers for his favourite marvel and dc comics

mercedes sees them at one point during season five and goes "!!!! i have a friend who can help you build a portfolio if you'd like!" and so they start making up a portfolio for sam, and he begins submitting it to places

finally, he starts drawing for independent companies and writers that are also trying to get their stories off the ground!!!!

and the aspect of his characters not being his own is never a problem; he just likes building the visuals. leave it to the writers to understand and build the people, he'll just make them look So Cool

eventually he starts doing really well for himself with both freelance work and steady comic art through bigger companies

he likes to work from home a lot bc its a familiar environment, but sometimes he likes to go out and talk face to face with the writers he's drawing for just bc human connection is nice and sometimes he needs to talk about things with people who also Love Things A Lot

yeah. basically where im going with this is: stay at home comic book artist dad sam who loves his kids and draws them and his wife (miss mercedes jones) into his comics all the time

i love him so much

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING THIS I DIDNT REALIZE HOW MANY THOUGHTS I HAD UNTIL NOW!!!

[kurtanaaa]

if you don’t mind talking abt our friend puck ! what relationships/friendships would you have liked to see delved into for him? :)

MIST!!! HELLO!!!! I WOULD LOVE TO!!!!!!

oh my god, SO MANY.

first off, puck and santana. once again i am preaching my pucktana childhood besties agenda and once again i am Right. they def have a complicated relationship but thats all the more reason to explore it. we didnt even get one joke from santana about him being so bad at sex he turned her gay :/// someone was SLACKING! personally i think puck would find that hilarious

puck and mercedes: please the way mercedes didnt let him get away with any of his shit and immediately started making him bring her stuff... good for her. i like to think he just keeps doing that and every time he has money and he sees the coffee drinks she likes he gets her one. also remember how he stole a whole dog for her in night of neglect. he thinks shes awesome. she thinks hes entertaining

puck and kurt: crime bros. that is all love u @kurtdeservesbetter

puck and rachel: the stupid idiot and the one who pretends to not be a stupid idiot but is just as much a stupid idiot. the idiot and the enabler. it goes both ways. if rachel needs to do something wild and crazy rest assured puck probably supplied her with the crowbar

puck and artie: study partners partie study partners partie STUDY PARTNERS PARTIE!!!!!!!! fuck that bullshit about puck being dumb in season three hes just a math minded man not geography. and artie needs someone to ramble on about subjects to who will let him talk and occasionally ask questions. perfect.

puck and sam: ok my personal headcanon for puck is that he becomes a songwriter in the future (fuck that military jazz) and i think that sam would help him with the composing a lot just bc he has a different musical background and perspective

puck and tina: EVERYBODY SHUT UP THEYRE BESTIES. he makes dirty jokes and she pretends not to find them funny but inside shes cackling. also they skateboard together

puck and jake: they obviously had no idea what to do with him in season four other than make him the glee clubs weird uncle. but imagine if they did know and they actually built up a good brotherly relationship... had him actually give jake good advice... shown more of their moms hanging out and becoming a real family... giving both jake and puck the families they had always wanted but never got

AND ON THAT NOTE thats the main ones i can think of!!!! thank you SO SO SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK i loved talking about these hehe ur the bestest

[kurtanaaa]

What are your favourite headcanons about Santana’s life/ career / future family??

Same with Mercedes and Sam.

OOOH OKAY. HM. idk what the big broad headcanons are so im mostly gonna use my own

so ive talked about this before, but i think santana and puck were definitely childhood friends and grew up in the same neighborhood. santana always alludes to lima heights adjacent, and when i imagine that, i think of a place like where i used to live where everybody lives in houses with white siding and concrete front steps and rickety screen doors and a/c window units with the occasional walk up apartment building. thats immediately what i think of. and i think she grew up with her dad and her mother in her life, but since her dad wasnt at her wedding, i would say that something happened to him between s3 and 6, probably divorce for messy reasons or something to that effect. so she knows her dad and grew up with him, but theyre probably not that close anymore.

in terms of career, i love what old dogs, new tricks did in making her a publicist. thats so ridiculously apt it fits her character so well!!!! of course shes great at cultivating an image, she did it to survive in high school and she was good at it. and shes ruthless, which is exactly what you need in a publicist/manager.

future family i honestly wouldnt jump to thinking she would have kids. like maybe she would want them? but i would more assume she'd rather be the double income lesbian wine aunts with brittany and spoil all her friends' kids rotten and teach them swear words. obviously she loves these kids to bits but i cant see her having kids of her own, nor do i think brittany would necessarily want them either

MERCEDES! lets get into this

her dads a DENTIST! that means that miss thing is probably fairly well off and lives in a nice house thats big enough for her and her parents and brother (and then eventually quinn). she had no qualms about inviting quinn so i assume its big enough to accommodate them all, clean, and well decorated. she also seems like the type to have a pool or hot tub and she would invite all her friends over as often as possible. personally i also think that she and kurt would love to bake together

in terms of career shes gonna be a big recording artist. no more to it. shes gonna be the fuckin princess of r&b and pop and everyone will love her to bits. its what she deserves! and i think oftentimes when one of her friends films a movie she'd contribute a song to the soundtrack

future family.... WARNING SAMCEDES ALERT i think she and sam get married and sam is a stay at home dad (still with a job tho i will get to that in a sec) and they have a couple kids that auntie santana and uncle kurt spoil rotten. i think she would try and involve her kids and sam in her work as much as possible bc she loves themmmmm

SAM SAM SAM. so i think sam wouldve grown up in a fairly nice neighborhood, but as his parents lost money and they had to move around he wound up living in a similar place to santana (taking inspiration from when santana says the line "youre the only person who would remind her of lima heights"). ive talked about this before but to me sam is very much a family oriented guy and will do anything to provide for them and i think hes an ace at cooking with whatevers available because of it. he can make a microwave/immediate dinner into something really tasty with some herbs and garlic and such just bc he had to make sure his siblings ate

CAREER!!! i think he'd be a comics artist!!!!! he loves his comics hes good at art (macaroni kurt anyone) and he would get to see all the new storylines immediately!!!! and it would let him work on a schedule more suited to him bc i know my boy has adhd and will work when his brain damn well lets him

and for future? see above re: mercedes. stay at home dad, loves his kids and his wife, himbo material supreme. i love him so much

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING THIS IM SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG I TRIED TO TALK LESS BY THE END BUT I KINDA FAILED ANYWAY I LOVE U THANK YOU FOR THIS I LOV TALKING

[kurtanaaa]

HI RAE!!! can you rank the glee club members based off of how well they would be able to keep a plant alive?

ABSOLUTELY I CAN ANA SORRY IM JUST GETTING TO THIS NOW ‼️‼️‼️

from least likely to most likely to keep a plant alive:

13. finn. he would probably forget he had it. or how to take care of it. or where the watering can is. or he'd get bored

12. artie. would probably do some weird experimence with it and kill it by accident 😔

11. rachel. bitch is too busy!!!! she's not having children of her own until she's won her first tony, you hear!!!!

10. santana. i feel like she's the kind of person to never know how much to water a plant. she'd be fine with a spider plant tho.

9. puck. he doesnt get the point of having plants but he will plant sit while youre away

8. kurt. for similar reasons to rachel, except that he would make a concentrated effort to keep it alive before he couldnt keep up anymore

7. tina. she has plants but has a tendency to overwater them

6. quinn. shes good. just Okay at it. she can do it.

5. brittany. might be controversial putting her this high but she cares very deeply for lord tubbington so i think that in her heart of hearts she would put her all into caring for a living thing. she would name it and water it and feed it chocolate bars

4. mike. he likes plants!!! they appeal to him!!!!! theyre good for the lungs!!!! he likes the logical use of them

3. blaine. would care for his plants. would sing to his plants. would gently remove the dead leaves from the plants. sometimes they betray him and wilt but he doesnt hold it against them

2. mercedes. she loves her plants she loves them very much!!!! theyre very pretty and they clear her air and she has a lovely window box in new york full of brightly coloured flowers. her favourite flower is lilacs and she would like to be able to have a lilac tree one day

1. sam. i know im directly contradicting the show but i think he would care about his plants so much bc he needs to care for some living things since he moved away from his siblings. also i think it would calm him down and let him recharge sometimes. he is a caring person who likes having something to take care of!!! he has his own window box in new york too!!!

[kurtanaaa]

ok time to assign abba songs to glee characters

humour me this is very self indulgent

gimme gimme gimme: definitely marley tina and unique!!! i think the cheerios should back them up and dance with them for this

take a chance on me: tina to quinn hehe.... itd be adorable... and the rest of the gang has to do the backup vocals and look delighted the whole time

waterloo: everybody can do this one!!! big group number!!!! they HAVE TO HAVE THE ABBA STYLE FITS THO. also i think santana and kurt should take the lead bc im biased and also theyd kill it

money money money: wouldnt it be amazing if sam sang this. insanity. he should drape himself across a piano. go sam go!

fernando: rachel to finn (they may have ONE abba song. ONE.) she can sing this in season four or five

voulez-vous: original new directions girls!!!!. also a group number partially. i think it would be nifty if the warblers got the sticks out of their asses and joined this one 2. like at a big party with both glee clubs and a bunch of mckinley students. yes ik that would never happen but this is MY fantasy!

the winner takes it all: kurt about blaine in s4 or quinn about... any man ever

chiquitita: mercedes to quinn in season one!!!!!

lay all your love on me: sam and mercedes with the new directions girls backing up cedes and the guys backing up sam of COURSE! they have to be on a beach. and if the guys dont do the stupid walk they do in mamma mia what is the point!!!! entertain me, boys! im also thinking that at the end of the song everybody should run into the water and have the time of their lives

slipping through my fingers: quinn in season three about beth. this would make me sob my eyes out

super trouper: brittany, mercedes, and santana to the season four or season six newbies!!! as a little performance momenttttt

honey honey: mercedes, kurt, and - hear me out - finn. they drag him in to join while mercedes is hanging out in the garage and he is secretly living his best life

sos: artie and... someone. idk who probably mercedes bc the harmonies r so sexy. maybe kitty? OR alternate idea: st. berry!

does your mother know: marley to jake. no it doesnt REALLY fit but i think they would have a lot of fun and it would make marley smile which i love to see

knowing me knowing you: puck. i dont have anything else but i know that im right.

one of us: santana about brittany in season two or marley and jake in season five

under attack: kurt in season five before the proposal... and santana and rachel are exasperatedly backing him up and dancing around him while he loses his marbles

mamma mia: i know they already did this as a group number but i just think it fits so well im not changing it. i need all the characters to join in tho not just kurtcheltana and the s4 lima kids. and they Must have the fun outfits

dancing queen: santana and mercedes own this sorry bout it!!!!! however i think that they should run through the school collecting all the ladies in the entire building and frolicking with them as they sing

when i kissed the teacher: emma. this mightve singlehandedly made me care slightly about wemma

my love, my life: blaine about kurt in season four... now THIS wouldve made me SAD

the name of the game: kurt about blaine in season two OR unique!!! i think she could do this so well. i dont have a scenario i just like the idea

angeleyes: mercedes about sam when hes dating brittany. she would KILL this and the theme is very fitting

i have a dream: marley... omg i just thought of this it fits her so well... OH WOW IM BIG BRAINED THIS IS SO APT !! and everyone can back her up like in chasing pavements

andante andante: tina and quinn. then they KISS!

thank you for the music: sue. i mean it. its during regionals at mckinley and shes singing it in her office very quietly and then the new directions kids pass her office and hear her and slowly start singing along with her in the hallway. and then the other show choirs wind up there too and they all sing it together and its just a big ol wall of good sounds. i think that would be neat. we shouldve gotten the different show choirs singing together more

i dont have an explanation or a defense for this i was just bored. yes i know its mostly the girls what are you gonna do about it!!!!!!!!!