"you don't look like my boyfriend.ā
sypnosis: you're too drunk to recognize your boyfriend.
featuring: bonten boys (seperate) x fem!reader
warnings: alcohol mentions, swearing, drunk!reader.
ā
MIKEY
you're swaying.
barely holding it together on the sidewalk, heels in your hand and eyes glossy from too many drinks. the night is loud ā laughter, clinking glasses, someone singing off-key behind you ā but everything feels like itās underwater.
and then there's someone in front of you.
someone tall. all in black. white-blond hair, dark eyes, a glint of silver in his ear. calm expression that doesn't match the chaos around you.
you blink slowly. āwho are you?ā
he stares at you. deadpan.
you point a shaky finger. āyouāre hot. but you donāt look like my boyfriend.ā
his eye twitches.
āyouāre drunk,ā mikey mutters, stuffing his hands into his pockets.
you gasp ā scandalized. āhow do you know me?!ā
āyouāre my girlfriend,ā he says flatly.
āliar,ā you squint at him. āmy boyfriend doesnāt scowl like that. he smiles at me. like thisāā you flash your teeth in a crooked grin, tipsy and far too confident.
mikey sighs, stepping closer. āyou tried to kiss a bartender, y/n.ā
āi did not,ā you pout. āhe had glitter on his face. i thought he was a fairy.ā
āyou told him youād trade your phone for a ride on his back.ā
you freeze.
āā¦was he gonna say yes?ā
āget over here.ā
he doesnāt wait. just loops an arm around your waist and lifts you up like you weigh nothing, tossing you into the backseat of the black car parked at the curb. you squeak, landing in plush leather as the door shuts behind him.
āmanjiroooo,ā you groan, flopping onto his chest like a ragdoll.
he hums lowly, letting you cling. āwhat am i gonna do with you?ā
āfeed me.ā
āyou threw up your last meal.ā
ābecause it was spicy and i donāt like spice!ā you say dramatically. āyou know this. you shouldāve protected me.ā
āyou said you loved wasabi.ā
āi was lying!ā
he chuckles. actually chuckles.
his hand comes up to brush your hair behind your ear, fingers lingering at the back of your neck. you blink slowly against his shoulder, your words slurring into sleep.
āā¦youāre warm,ā you mumble.
mikey leans in, lips grazing your temple.
ānext time youāre drinking, iām chaining you to me.ā
āis that your new kink?ā
he groans. ājust shut up and sleep, brat.ā
and as your breathing evens out, arms still wrapped lazily around him, mikey glances at your peaceful face and thinks ā
yeah. heād carry your drunk ass a thousand times over.
as long as you come home to him.
ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦ ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦
SANZU
youāre wobbling in your heels.
like really wobbling. cartoon-character-on-ice kind of wobbling.
sanzu watches from across the room, half amused, half exasperated. he told you not to take another shot. he literally pulled the glass away from your hand at one point. but then some giggling friend of yours handed you another one while he was on a call and now.
now youāre drunk.
youāre so drunk you donāt even notice him approaching.
"baby," he says, catching you by the waist before you can tip forward and faceplant into a couch, "what did i say about the tequila?"
you blink up at him.
pause.
your brows furrow. you lean in a little, squinting.
āā¦who are you?ā
sanzu blinks. āwhat?ā
āyouāre really pretty,ā you slur, poking his chest with one finger. ābut i have a boyfriend. heās scary. he kills people.ā
he snorts. āyeah? whatās he look like?ā
āpink hair. sharp teeth. eyes like a lazy cat. talks too much sometimes but i love him.ā
he tries to hold it ināhe really doesābut a laugh bursts out before he can stop it. āwow. sounds hot.ā
āhe is,ā you nod solemnly. then you lean closer, all whispery and secretive. āhis name is⦠haruchiyo. but everyone call him sanzu. you can't tell anyone.ā
āyour secretās safe with me.ā
you sway again and he steadies you with both hands on your waist. you stare up at him, suspicious.
āā¦wait a minute,ā you whisper, narrowing your eyes. āyou look like him.ā
āmaybe i am him.ā
you gasp, scandalized. āno, youāre not. he wouldnāt wear a shirt like that.ā
he looks down at his black button-up. āā¦i wear this all the time.ā
you ignore him, gently smacking his chest. ānope. nice try, imposter.ā
sanzu just sighs and lifts you into his arms. bridal-style. effortlessly.
you squeak. āheyāstranger danger!ā
āyouāre so lucky youāre cute,ā he mutters, carrying you out of the venue like a man on a mission. āyour scary boyfriend wouldāve murdered me by now.ā
you squint at his face one more time, like itās just starting to click.
āā¦wait. are you my scary boyfriend?ā
āfinally.ā
you stare at him.
then giggle.
then pass out on his shoulder.
he sighs again. but itās fond this time.
ādumbass,ā he murmurs, brushing his lips against your forehead. ādonāt ever change.ā
ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦ ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦
KAKUCHO
youāre swaying in place when kakucho opens the penthouse door.
mascara a little smudged. shoes in your hand. clutch barely zipped. and your smile? way too wide to be sober.
āhiiiiii,ā you slur, waving like youāre meeting a stranger. āwhoa⦠youāre really hot.ā
kakuchoās brow twitches. āyouāre drunk.ā
āmmmaybe.ā you hiccup, then squint at him. āwait. do i know you?ā
he blinks. āyou donāt remember me?ā
you take a cautious step forward, wobbling. your eyes trail over the expensive dress shirt clinging to his chest, the familiar scar on his face ā but your brain is still foggy and floating somewhere between tequila shots and karaoke.
āyou kinda look like my boyfriend,ā you mutter.
ādo i?ā
you nod solemnly. ābut heās mean sometimes. really serious. you look nice.ā
he deadpans. āglad to know iāve got a nicer twin.ā
you gasp, like itās a revelation. āare you the good twin? can you kiss better too?ā
ābaby.ā
āohmygod, you sound just like him,ā you whisper, poking his chest. āare you two, like, related?ā
kakucho sighs through his nose and steps forward, gently looping an arm around your waist before you stumble into the damn wall. āi am him.ā
you pause, peering up at him with bleary confusion. āā¦huh?ā
he leans down, brushing your hair back from your face, voice low. āyouāre really drunk, sweetheart. letās get you to bed.ā
you blink once. twice.
then your mouth drops open in realization.
ākakuchoooo!ā you squeal, throwing your arms around him like you havenāt seen him in months. āmy boyfriend!! i missed you soooo much!!ā
he stifles a laugh, catching you easily.
āyou saw me this morning,ā he mumbles into your hair, but the way his hand rubs circles on your back gives him away ā soft. patient. relieved you made it home safe.
you sigh dramatically against his chest. āi was scared you wouldnāt love me anymore ācause i wore that short dress.ā
he pulls back just enough to meet your eyes. āyou looked beautiful.ā
āreally?ā
āreally.ā
you smile so wide it makes his chest ache, even as you sway again.
āām sleepyā¦ā
āthen letās get you to bed,ā he says, scooping you up effortlessly.
you wrap your arms around his neck, cheek pressed to his shoulder, voice muffled. āyouāre the best boyfriend in the worldā¦ā
he presses a kiss to your forehead, chuckling softly.
āyeah,ā he murmurs, āeven when you donāt remember me.ā
ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦ ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦
TAKEOMI
youāre absolutely wasted.
not tipsy. not a little buzzed. wasted.
takeomi finds you outside the bar, sitting on the sidewalk with your heels off, feet bare, and a bag of chips in your lap that you definitely stole from someone inside. your friends had texted him to come pick you up ā and good thing too, because you look seconds away from face-planting into the asphalt.
ābaby,ā he calls gently, crouching down in front of you.
you blink up at him, squinting under the streetlight. your mouth opens slightly.
āā¦do i know you?ā
takeomi blinks. āare you serious?ā
you lean back a little. āare you hitting on me?ā you gasp suddenly. āwaitāi have a boyfriend!ā
āyeah,ā he sighs. āme.ā
you narrow your eyes at him suspiciously. āprove it.ā
he sighs again, but thereās a quiet smile tugging at the corners of his lips. āyou always make me late by stealing my hair gel in the morning and hiding it in your bra.ā
you gasp again, scandalized. āhow do you know that?!ā
ābecause you tell me every single time.ā
āthat sounds like something iād do,ā you mutter, nodding.
he reaches for your bag of chips and tosses it aside before gently helping you up. you wobble against his chest and bury your face into his jacket, sighing dramatically. āyou smell like my boyfriend.ā
āprobably because i am your boyfriend.ā
you pause.
āā¦oh.ā
takeomi wraps an arm around your waist and leads you to his car, holding your shoes in one hand while you mutter something about him being suspiciously handsome. he just shakes his head with a laugh, brushing his lips against your temple as he opens the door.
āletās get you home, pretty girl.ā
you blink up at him again, swaying slightly.
āā¦hey.ā
āyeah?ā
you point a finger at his chest, dead serious. āif my boyfriend finds out you kissed me, heās gonna kill you.ā
he sighs. āiāll take my chances.ā
ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦ ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦
KOKONOI
youāre swaying.
not from music. not from happiness. just⦠swaying.
your heels are clumsy against the pavement, arms flailing slightly as you stumble toward the black car parked outside the club. you barely register the man who steps out of it ā tall, lean, dressed in an expensive black coat and even more expensive glare.
ājesus,ā he mutters, eyes locking on you. āyouāre wasted.ā
you stop walking.
tilt your head.
squint.
āā¦huh?ā you blink, swaying again. āwhoāre you?ā
kokonoi hajime just stands there. lips parting slightly.
you donāt know him.
your boyfriend ā the man who held your hair back when you were sick, who tucked hundred-thousand-yen gifts in your purse like loose change, who loves you more than life itself ā and you donāt even recognize him.
āyou donāt even know me?ā he asks, voice quiet.
you frown. āā¦are you hot?ā
he chokes.
āwhat?ā
you take another unsteady step forward. āare you, like, my type or something?ā you poke a finger into his chest, clearly unaware youāre messing with one of bontenās top executives. āyouāre kinda pretty. do i know you from somewhere?ā
his jaw tightens ā not in anger, but something else.
god, youāre so drunk. flushed cheeks, glassy eyes, wobbling in your cute dress like you havenāt slept in days.
he exhales slowly and slips his coat off, draping it over your shoulders without a word.
āiām your boyfriend,ā he says, pulling you close so you donāt tip over. ākokonoi. hajime. remember now?ā
you stare at him. long and slow.
āā¦no,ā you whisper. ābut i like your voice.ā
he closes his eyes for a second like heās praying for strength.
ācome on,ā he sighs, wrapping an arm around your waist. āletās get you home.ā
you hum softly against him, cuddling into his side like instinct. āyou smell nice.ā
āi should,ā he mutters. āyou bought me the cologne.ā
āā¦i did?ā you blink up at him, awed. āthat was so nice of me.ā
kokonoi smiles despite himself. āyeah. youāre amazing, remember?ā
you donāt respond.
youāre too busy falling asleep on his shoulder.
ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦ ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦
MOCHI
youāre absolutely smashed.
slumped against the backseat of a sleek black car, your cheek is pressed against the window, fogging up the glass with every hot exhale. the city lights blur into hazy halos as you mumble incoherent things about ramen, frogs, and how the bartender definitely had a crush on you.
mochizuki kanji is sitting beside you ā arms crossed, jaw clenched ā watching you spiral deeper into drunken chaos with a look thatās a mix of what the fuck am i gonna do with you and iād kill anyone who touches you.
heās calm, quiet. only ever speaks when it matters. but right now, heās biting the inside of his cheek because you ā the love of his life ā have just looked him in the eye and slurred:
āyouāre not my boyfriend.ā
he blinks. āā¦what?ā
you squint at him like your visionās lagging. āyouāre not him. heās taller. angrier. his eyebrows are⦠madder.ā
kanji raises an eyebrow. āmadder?ā
you poke his chest. āand he smells like cigarettes and laundry softener. you smell like⦠like a man i donāt know.ā
he stares at you. speechless.
then you dramatically flop sideways, landing right against him with a whine. āi want kanjiii,ā you say, sniffling, like a child who lost her toy. āheās my big scary boyfriend. he growls when he talks.ā
āi am kanji.ā
āliar.ā you squint again. ākanjiās nose is more punchable.ā
he exhales, presses his fingers to the bridge of his very punchable nose, and fights the urge to laugh or scream.
āā¦youāre drunk.ā
ānooo.ā you hiccup. āyouāre just impersonating him. is this a bonten thing? secret twins?ā
he leans forward, his voice lowering. ābaby, i swear to godāā
āsee? thatās how he sounds!ā you gasp like you cracked the case. ādo it again.ā
mochiās eye twitches.
youāre fully sprawled across him now, clinging to the lapel of his coat like a lost little puppy. he adjusts your seatbelt with one hand, sighing, then brushes your hair away from your face with the other.
āiām taking you home. and tomorrow, when you wake up with a hangover, iām gonna remind you how you called me an imposter.ā
you giggle. āyou sound hot when youāre mad.ā
he mutters under his breath, āso i am your boyfriend?ā
āā¦hm. juryās still out.ā you poke his cheek. āiāll decide when iām sober.ā
kanji leans back in the seat, groaning. āyouāre so lucky i love you.ā
you yawn and nuzzle into his side, half-asleep already. āmy boyfriend loves me tooā¦ā
he glances down. your arms are wrapped around him now. soft breaths tickling his neck. and he knows you wonāt remember a damn thing in the morning.
but he smiles anyway.
āyeah, he really does.ā
ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦ ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦
RAN
youāre tipsy. noā scratch that.
youāre gone.
ran knows it the second you stumble out of the bar, heels in hand, mascara a little smudged, smile big and dizzy as you scan the street like itās moving. itās not. you are.
āthere you are,ā ran drawls, slipping his phone into his pocket, voice low and lazy as ever. āiāve been looking everywhere, baby.ā
you squint at him.
you squint at him.
and then you take a step back, blinking. āā¦sorry, do i know you?ā
ran freezes.
āā¦what?ā
āyouāre really tall,ā you slur, clearly impressed. your finger pokes at his chest, right at the silver chain peeking from his collar. āand you smell expensive.ā
he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. āyou donāt recognize me?ā
you tilt your head, swaying. āare you a celebrity?ā
ran is trying. really, he is. but the corner of his mouth twitches.
āsomething like that,ā he murmurs, stepping closer to steady you as you wobble. you stare up at him, lips parted, brows furrowed like youāre solving a math problem.
āwaitā¦ā you whisper. ādo you⦠have a girlfriend?ā
his brows shoot up.
you gasp, dramatic as ever. ābecause if you donātāi know a girl whoād be sooo lucky to have you.ā
he stares at you for a long, silent moment.
ā...youāre trying to flirt with me,ā he deadpans.
you nod eagerly. āyouāre hot.ā
ābaby,ā he mutters, dragging a hand down his face. āi am your boyfriend.ā
you freeze.
pause.
āā¦you are?ā
āyes.ā
āā¦are you sure?ā
āyou live with me,ā he deadpans. āyou wear my shirts. i literally dropped you off at this bar three hours ago.ā
you gasp again. āwaitāyouāre ran?!ā
ran looks like heās this close to losing it. āoh my god.ā
āiām so sorry,ā you whisper. āyouāre so hot i didnāt recognize you.ā
āā¦thatās not even a compliment. itās a safety hazard.ā
you giggle, tipsy and smug now, as you stumble forward into his chest. āwell, youāre mine now, right?ā
he rolls his eyes, arms wrapping around your waist anyway. āwas always yours, drunk idiot.ā
ācan we get fries?ā
āā¦you donāt even remember dinner, do you?ā
ānope!ā
he kisses your forehead, groaning like heās suffering, but the smile tugging at his lips betrays him.
āalright,ā he murmurs, scooping you up bridal style. āfries and then straight to bed. my bed.ā
āooh,ā you giggle. āthat hot strangerās bed?ā
ājesus christ,ā he mutters, shaking his head.
but heās smiling the whole way home.
ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦ ā¦ā¢āą¹ā ⯠āÆā ą¹āā¢ā¦
RINDOU
rindou has seen you in many states. sleepy, grumpy, pouty, clingy. he's even seen you swing a pan at mochi for ālooking weird.ā
but drunk? drunk you is a different species entirely.
āwhat the fuck,ā he mutters, watching you sway unsteadily in your heels as you stumble out of the bar with your friends. āshe said sheād have one drink.ā
you spot him leaning against his car, wearing his usual black, his lavender hair tousled and unbothered. but instead of rushing into his arms like you usually doā
you squint.
hard.
ā...who are you?ā you ask, dead serious.
rindou blinks. āwhat?ā
you point at him accusingly. āyouāre hot. are you a stripper?ā
āa whatā?ā
ādid my friends send you? for my birthday?? oh my god, youāre my present, arenāt you??ā you gasp dramatically, stumbling forward with jazz hands. āstripper boyyyy~!ā
rindou grabs your waist before you faceplant into the pavement. ājesus, baby. itās me. rindou.ā
ārindou?ā you frown. ānooo, my rindou has sleepy eyes and looks mean but actually buys me cat stickers when iām sad.ā
āthatās literally me.ā
you lean in closer, squinting harder. āhmmm. i donāt know. youāre suspiciously hot. too hot. hot with earrings?? hot with a lip ring?! are you even real???ā
āwhat the hell are you even saying,ā he says, but he's already pulling you closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. āget in the car, idiot.ā
you gasp. āhe even smells like rindou!! what kind of AI technologyāā
he physically picks you up bridal-style before you embarrass yourself any further. you're still rambling nonsense about stripper androids as he buckles you into the passenger seat and shuts the door.
rindou sighs, running a hand through his hair.
āshouldāve just handcuffed you to the couch tonight,ā he mumbles.
ākinky,ā you slur from your seat.
he slides into the driver's side, throws you a dry look, and says, āremind me to delete your birthday next year.ā
you giggle and flop your head against his shoulder.
āā¦but youāre cute for a stripper.ā
rindou mutters under his breath, āyeah, and youāre dead when you sober up.ā
but he doesnāt push your head away.











