I’m (F/23) overwhelmed with (M/22) partner’s anxious attachment
I (F/23) have been seeing someone (M/22) for about two months. He’s anxiously attached and needs a lot of reassurance and emotional support. I feel like I can’t be fully honest with him without it turning into a huge emotional spiral. Yesterday I tried to tell him that sometimes I’m unsure about our compatibility because we have different needs and attachment styles. I started crying because he said I keep giving him mixed signals. Then he asked if I actually wanted to keep seeing him. I said I don’t know and asked if he even wanted to see me, he said yes. After that, he started crying and said it wasn’t fair that I could like him but also question if I wanted to continue seeing him. I told him both feelings can exist at the same time, but then he compared me to his sister, who abandoned him, and kept saying that in relationships you fight and don’t just throw in the towel, he felt like that’s what I was doing. We’ve only been talking for two months and went on our first date just over a month ago. I don’t think this dynamic is healthy, and I’m not sure what to do. I’m worried that if I break things off, he won’t be able to handle it because he’s so dependent on me. He’s asking for an answer right away, and I’m just overwhelmed. I’d really appreciate advice on how to navigate early relationships with someone anxious and dependent while still being honest and respecting my own boundaries. How do you handle these kinds of conversations when you’re not ready to give a clear answer?
You've been on ONE date!?!? Holy shit. He needs intensive therapy. He is NOT capable of a relationship right now. Get yourself out of there. One date - he can absolutely live without you, regardless of how he's guilting and manipulating you. Holy cow, this is overwhelming.