rick sanchez is touchy, he’s possessive- even if he says he isn’t and rolls his eyes at your blunt observation.
he will gesture for you to come closer if you’re on the opposite side of the room, hold your waist while in public, graze your knee with his when eating dinner with his family. he clicks his teeth with his tongue in feign annoyance when someone teases him about his affectionate touch towards you.
you like it though. little miss. along-for-the-ride. your whole life you’ve had to grit your teeth and white knuckle grip the steering wheel, desperate for any semblance of control. but with rick, its… easier. he does little things for you.
he fixes the AC in your apartment, hacked into your direct deposit and flooded it with money in off-shore accounts only you can access. he listens to the things you like and instead of buying them for you- he hand makes them to be your perfect fit.
he asks nothing in return, he never has.
only that you stay close. close enough to touch, close enough to hold and protect.
he’s lost precious cargo like you once before- and once he did, he’s never been able to get it back. he is determined for that not to happen again.
after years of suppressing intrusive feelings and pushing you away emotionally, he’s come to terms with the fact that he does want you in his life. and it scares him, really it does.
he wakes with nightmares that toy with the idea of losing you, they tease and taunt him.
he’s afraid of himself, what he might do to you in times of weakness. but for now he calms those frightening waters of insecurity by pulling you closer by the hem of your shirt.
by rubbing the small of your back under the cloth covering it. kissing your shoulders and the soft of your neck when you’re asleep.
besides wanting you, and needing you, and loving you. he likes you.
he enjoys your company and appreciates what you say, curious what type of obnoxiously endearing sentence is going to spew out of your mouth. you’re honest to a fault, an open book. what’s in front of him is what you are. you’re not simple, just tired of hiding parts of you that have been aching to be expressed aloud.
you’ve lost people too, and there were things you were waiting to tell them, confess to them, share the burdens you’ve been carrying to them.
so now you just say what comes to your mind. no waiting.
rick appreciates that. he’s spent years figuring out how to weasel truths out of deceitful people, and here you are! open and honest and so pretty to look at.
he wishes he met you sooner, he realizes while running his fingers down your thighs as you snore peacefully. you could’ve done so much good for him, undone so much damage, he would’ve healed somewhat properly. instead of this lump some of mangled parts and pieces that have been emotionally wounded by past trauma.
he doesn’t want you to fix him, never that. but he does know you could’ve helped the bruises heal neat and quickly.
he kisses your temple, moving the hair matted to your face to get a better look at you.
you’re here now. and he doesn’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.
so he’ll touch and grope and suck and bite as much as he possibly can before his time with you runs out. you make his humanity bearable to him, something easy to swallow- like a vitamin.
Rough sex with them. Your cock bullies its way in and out of their puffy hole, the surface you lean on creaks at your rough and quick movements but the claws at your back and desperate clenching around your dick force any rationality from your brain. It's rough and painful, hard surface scratching at the flesh of their back but their legs lock desperately behind your back, lips leaking praise, forcing you back into their soppy and already spoilt cunt.
"Fuck...Ye-Yeah, right here..."
"C'mon...ha...harder..!"
"That's it, That's a good fucking boy..."
They whined, voice stretched a thin mess. Muscles strain against you then relaxing in the next second. The slight burning from your teeth sinking into their soft flesh has them clenching around you before they're drawn towards your lips with a gravitational like pull. They kiss you like they've been starved, deep and savoury, teeth nipping at the flesh that surrounds them like a prisoner savoring their final meal. Your mouths fill with each other's blood. It tastes like pennies, off-putting to most but fuck if it doesn't a bullied moan from their throats, tongue darting out to lap up every smear. Licking the wounds as an apology or to coax out more.
It was so suffocating, the burst of blinding pleasure as you plunged into them. 'it hurts' their mind stutters out as their toes curl up against ur back, pleasure gripping their minds so hard they cant tell when their body is begging to be let go. They become pliant against you, skin hot, bruised and stained with a mix of their fluids. They can barely concentrate and their face twists with pain. You slow down, teasing them with degrading taunts and whispers, but they feel the love in every deep brush against their insides, and without meaning to they just take it. Whimpers bubbling behind their clenched lips and vision becomes unfocused as they threaten to roll back into their skull.
Theyre slow to come around, but quick to run their swollen lips. Their face a mean, fucked out flush, eyes hazy but glaring with such amazing defiance as they degrade you with your cock still up their twitching hole.
"...ah-why did you stop..?"
"F'uc-Fuuck...you're such an asshole..."
"I hate you so d-Ahhmm much...!"
They're smart, they're prideful. Slow to change their tone, manipulation that usual works. But you know better, and so do they. So they try to take matters into their own hand, forcing their body against the rough surface they're held against to bounce themselves up and down, legs digging into your back to force you in deeper. They kiss around your neck, your jaw, and when they're denied your lips, their attitude falters. You can see it in the way their expression grows teary, so distraught, so wronged. They can feel the heat in their gut dispense and gather around your cock, highlighting how good you feel inside them. How good you fuck them up and how much you put up with them. So they swallow back an exasperated sob and then beg for it.
"C'mon baby...Ah- didn't meant it..."
"Im- s'orry..."
"Oh god- I need it...please-!"
"please..- please..."
Their faces flush even deeper with embarrassment. They try close their eyes to escape the self-satisfaction on your face, but you grip their jaw and force them to maintain eye contact as you pull out fast and push back in harder. The slide is so smooth, so wet. Your cock slides in with a sickening sound, the wetness of it all leaves little friction to be had. You watch tears gather in their beautiful eyes, falling down their jittering chest and joining the slick mess between your legs.
They don't even understand how much they affect you. Their body bouncing with each thrust, enticing you more than any trap. You lean in closer, enough for their breath to warms your lips; you stare deep into each-other's eyes soaking in the waves of pleasure that passes through your expressions. Raspy tired moans drip from their throat like honey. You lick a long stride up their neck, tasting the salt off their skin as you pushed deeper inside them. Their eyes beg for a kiss. Deny them again. Keeping them wanting, until they're bursting at the seams and they don't know what they're begging for.
-> Rick Sanchez, Arthur Morgan, Gegory House, Kakashi Hatake, Toph Beifong, Lynoel Baratheon, Jaime Lannister, Askeladd, Semiu, Melissa Schemmnti, Solider Boy, Derek Hale, Carmen Berzatto, Jiraiya, Harvey Spector, Daemon Targaryen, Jinx, Tyler Durden, Maekar Targaryen, Joel Miller, Daryl Dixon, Cecil Stedman, Stan Pines, Your favorites.
morty fucked up another mission. like always. a thousand other problems stacked on top of it, and rick has no desire to sort through those.
and then there was jerry. jerry’s dumbass alone was enough to ruin anyone’s day, and rick had the misfortune of seeing him nearly every day.
so the moment rick stumbles through the door, the first thing he does is grab you and shove your back against the wall.
his mouth is on your neck, sloppy and wet, alcohol heavy on his breath. drool slicks down your skin as he mutters curse after curse, drunk and pissed and kissing you like he needs it. like he’ll lose it if he doesn’t.
not at you. never at you.
he’s just angry. exhausted. overstimulated. and you’re there. you’re pretty. you’re his.
his fingers hook into your panties, shoving them aside, moving fast and sure over your already soaked cunt. you gasp; the fabric is damp before he even touches you properly.
“today went fucking shit,” he slurs into your skin.
his fingers rub rough, careless circles around your pussy, before he pushes two of them inside you. you clench immediately, needy and tight around him.
rick groans, low and almost surprised, pressing you harder into the wall with his free hand.
“fuckin’—s-so greedy,” he mutters into your shoulder. “y’know all the other ricks talk about it. how your pussy gets so desperate for a rick. gets all needy when it finally has one.”
you let him talk. you always do.
because you know it’s true. you’re wrapped around his finger. and he knows it too.
you still whine, soft and pathetic, and it makes his cock strain painfully against his pants.
“mm—rick, come on,” you breathe, hands sliding up to his shoulders, nails digging through his lab coat.
“don’t be mean. just fuck me. it’ll make you feel better.”
your hips roll, riding his fingers, chasing and begging for some type of friction.
rick chews the inside of his cheek, mouth faltering against your skin. he lets out a short grunt because—yeah. damn it you’re right.
he knows everything shuts off the second he’s inside you.
he flips you without warning, pushing you face-first into the wall. his mouth is rough at your neck, kisses messy and bruising. he fists your hair, tugging just enough to turn your head so he can crash his mouth into yours, and kiss you properly, the kiss sloppy and spit-filled.
you moan into it, and he swallows the sound whole, eyes dark with a look he only ever reserves for you.
your panties are shoved aside again, this time by the thick, aching tip of his cock. he drags it through your folds slowly, teasing, and sticky with pre-cum, circling your folds until you're shaking.
then he thrusts in, no warning, exactly as planned.
he always makes sure you’re ready — using fingers first, to work you open for him.
rick grips your hair with one hand, your hip with the other, holding you at the perfect angle as he fucks into you hard. rough. rude. fingers digging into your skin, teeth nipping at your neck, his cock slamming deep into your slick cunt.
it feels so good you bite down on your knuckle to keep from crying out.
rick scoffs as wet, obscene sounds fill the room, finally slipping back into his drunken rant.
“don’t think i let a bad fuckin’ day get me,” he mutters. “nah, y’should’ve seen it. i blew all their fuckin’ heads right off.”
his hand leaves your hip long enough to make finger guns, muttering “pow, pow,” with stupid sound effects, as he laughs in an almost manic state.
your head goes hazy. everything blurs. your body feels limp, all you give him are broken, filthy moans.
rick doesn’t like that.
he wants you listening. reacting. worshipping.
he fucks you harder now, almost cruel, hiccupping with a wet, disgusting noise. “babe—are you—urrp—are you listenin’?”
your ears ring, your head throbs, and all you can think about is him fucking you harder until you can’t speak, or walk.
you barely register his voice until he slams deeper, your walls clenching hard around him, milking him.
he groans, strained, fighting not to spill.
"cause y’know i’m rick fuckin’ sanchez,” he slurs. “and i can do whatever the hell i want.”
his tone drops, threatening almost. “just like i can stop fuckin’ your pretty pussy if you keep ignorin’ me.”
he stays buried inside you. waiting.
your head bobs weakly before you manage a soft, breathless, “yes—”
that’s all it takes. you don't even get to finish your sentence.
before he snaps back into motion, thrusting hard, cock twitching at the sound of your voice. you’re gone, babbling, eyes glassy, tears prickling as your body gives him everything.
rick keeps bitching about his day the entire time.
when he finally finishes ranting, and filling you until you’re leaking with him, he turns you around, hands gentler now. as he presses soft kisses along your face, voice still rough but threaded with something warm.
“you’re my good girl, yeah?”
“so fuckin’ good for me. takin’ all of me like that.”
his eyes stay on yours. the intimacy is strange. heavy. rick’s always like this after.
he’s greedy. selfish. a narcissist.
but he does love you. he just.. shows it wrong.
“y’my—urrp—my girl,” he murmurs. “my sweet girl.”
his head drops to your shoulder, fingers absentmindedly playing with your hair, subtle enough that if you called attention to it, he’d scoff and deny it.
it’s just enough. for him.
then, casually, too casually, he says it, like the words didn’t nearly cut his mouth on the way out.
“that world you wanted to go to,” he mutters hoarsely. “the stupid candy one—urrp—yeah. i’ll take you there. whatever. anything for you, baby.”
the truth is, rick comes to you after days like this because he wants to open up, wants more than just angry rambling.
he just doesn’t know how to be vulnerable.
so instead, he does what he knows best.
he fucks you, gives you filthy praise, and lets that be his confession.
and secretly hopes it's enough to get you to stay.
Rick brushed through the thick and waxy violet leaves, hexagons of blue and pink gushed under his feet, similar to mud as he slugged through the swamp.
he was trying to find a weird little four headed worm underground, it’s mucus apparently containing some kind of hallucinogenic drug when concentrated, which was his favorite.
he’d been on this odd planet before, yet seemingly didn’t know it as well as he thought he did. using a little scanner to detect the worms movement, he slashed through varieties of plants following its beeping.
he bumped into a very large tree, with huge vines tangling and constricting around everything blocking his path, they pulsed, almost alive.
not thinking much about it, he slashed through them, falling easier than expected. here’s where he realized he’d fucked up.
the grotesque vines appeared to twitch rapidly once fallen, like they were waiting to be cut. he looked down slightly concerned as they sprayed a blue sludge over him, his eyes widened in fear as the residue dissipated into his skin faster than he could comprehend what happened.
quickly he pulled out his scanner, seeing what he got sprayed with. aphrodisiac compounds detected - it read.
“fuck..” he winced, glancing at the worm detector, noticing it wasn’t far off he continued through, not about to turn back.
he was grateful it was only an aphrodisiac, sure the next few hours will be torture until he can create an antidote, but at least his skin isn’t melting off.
or he’d stop by an alien strip club, aphrodisiacs make his dick hard for hours, he’d impress all the girls. he thought to himself as he laughed aloud.
then you abruptly popped in his head, his grin dropped. a sweet girl thats always with summer, he can tell you’ve got a big crush on him. ur such a fucking tease to him and you know it. you know what you do to him.
always switching your hips when you walk in front of him, he’s unable to look away with the way your ass moves.
when he gets back from missions, working shirtless in his garage, he sees you peek through the crack in the door, clenching your pudgy thighs together.
he fucking hated you for it. always smiling to yourself after you successfully fluster him, in his house. he’s even noticed one of his shirts went missing while you were over, fucking whore.
even going so far as to conveniently stand in the room across the bathroom while he takes a shower, sneakily savoring the moment when he steps out, with wet long hair clinging to his chest, in only a towel. he knew you were there though, smug as he walked away.
you were much younger than him, 19, so he couldn’t have you, and god.. that made him so mad. he’d lay in bed at night, cock hot and twitching from the cruel relentless teasing you did to him that day, yet feeling too guilty to stroke himself to you. he fucking hated it.
he got back from the mysterious planet, dusting himself off as he got off his ship. he sat at his table, conjuring up a antidote. though he couldn’t ignore the way he felt anymore, dick straining against his pants, almost painfully. hot haze creeping into his mind.
then he heard the door open, you stood in the doorway.
of fucking course you stood there. what a great time to come tease him, he thought. he so badly wished he could just pin you down by your fragile wrists and grind his big dick all over your-
“um.. rick? i-i was just wondering if you had any acetone? me and summer were doing our nails but mine got kinda messy” you nervously chuckled. poking your pushed up tits out as you fiddled with your hands behind your back.
he turned and shot you a deadly disconcerting stare, almost a warning to not fuck with him, to not get any closer.
he stood up, adjusting to hide his erection as he walked over to a junk drawer and pulled out a bottle. “thi-think this is it” he said drunken, placing it on the shelf near you, making a awkward distance as he started walking away.
picking it up, you gave a confused thank you as you started walking away, but halted to ask another question, just trying to talk to him more. “summer told me you just got back from a mission? how’d it go- was it fun?” you asked innocently.
he stood still, rolling his eyes before turning back to you. “yeah i did, and honest’, it- burrrp was so shitty, got infected with some f-fuckin’ plant” he said admittedly
you gave a concerned look, stepping closer to him. “i-infected?! like your sick kinda thing?” you said worriedly, looking up at the tall man.
“i-i.. uhm” he said nonchalantly stepping back, turning his flushed face away. “not that kinda infected, m-more like just temporary” he said, his erection becoming noticeable as he shifted to hide it.
he hated you so bad, his blood boiled as it rushed to his dick. he wanted you to leave, to stop this torture. Rick was so fucking mad at you, yet wanted to give you such good deep dick it made you blissfully peaceful.
you nodded with relief, but noticed sweat staple his hair to his forehead, his hands balled up in fists and his jaw twitched. “a-are you o-okay? you seem a bit.. frantic?”
he tried to snap out of the angry lust, running his shaking hand through his hair. “y-yeah i’m fin-fine. don’t worry about me. g- urrp -go do nails or, w-whatever the fuck” he said, trying to brush you off. but you stepped closer.
he’s backed against the edge of his table, face getting redder. “n-not to be a bother but, are you sure rick? you look like your about to pass out” you said with genuine concern, he looked sweaty and dazed.
“f-fuck (y/n).. you really wanna know so bad hm?” he looked away embarrassed. “got hit with a aphrodisiac, like the s- *hiccup* space version of viagra, not sick just- well.. f-frustrated” he said with shame as he defiantly crossed his arms.
he turned to you with dark eyes before you could respond, “it’s best you fuck off.” he said harshly. but, in reality, he needed you so fucking bad. every sensor in his brain was outputting you. he could practically taste you from here, your perfume clouding up his head.
you nodded, but you didn’t agree, you didn’t wanna leave, you wanted to make rick manhandle you. wanted him so frustrated he’s doing anything for his release, you wanted to toy with him. “but rickkk, can’t you just make an antidote so we can hangout more?”
you say giggling, clearly a tease. he doesn’t take it well, narrowing his eyes. “and what makes you think i want to hang-out w-with you?” he said, noticing the sad look on your face, stupidly feeling bad.
“e-even if i do make one, affects wouldn’t wear off for a few hours, wouldn’t wanna make you weirded out o-or whatever.” he said, becoming exasperated with the amount of desire for you. it’s like his dick was controlling his mind, every word you spoke with that sweet voice granted a throb, a wet patch of pre dampened his boxers. keep teasing him, and he won’t be able to stop himself.
“mmm, saying you wouldn’t be able to control yourself around me, old man rick?” giggling and twirling your hair jokingly, scared for the response.
he snapped; he was so done with your torture. done with this stupid act. it was his turn to back you up, make you feel cornered against the wall. “it seems a lot like you wanna fucking find out.” he said sharp and growly, voice laced with need and equal amounts of anger.
you cowered under him like a puppy, the tall man had a seriously scary mad face. but the tough demeanor shattered when you noticed his bulge and heavy beating heart, realizing he wasn’t mad at you, he was mad at what you did to him.
“m-maybe i do?” so nervous but bold, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him in harshly, maybe you were the needy one. his hands didn’t move, scared still. but yours did, you ran your hand through his hair pulling him in, pushing his hot body against yours, feeling his straining cock.
your other hand fell on his chest, feeling the low groan as you deepened the kiss. suddenly, you lacked his lips. “s-stop” he pulled away, almost against his own will. “a-a-are you sure you want me? y-you sure your okay with this?” he asks, surprisingly sweetly.
“i’m sure, rick” you say, before giving him time to think you pull him back in harder, this time running your hands up his shirt, digging him in with your nails.
he moaned loudly, coming undone as he held your throat. his other big hand held your hip, pushing his cock deeper into your stomach, making your stomach twirl.
he felt so good, so fucking good. like the plant was pushing him in, like he needed to be one. he felt relief at the hot body pressed against him, yet it only made him more eager to have his way with you.
before realizing what was happening, he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he pulled out his portal gun, shooting it and carrying you through it.
he threw you onto his bed, the smell of his musk filled your nose, rick was as intoxicating as he was intoxicated. he crawled over you, giving no time to speak or question him, you knew what you had gotten into by playing with the Rick Sanchez.
he kissed you roughly, almost violently. wrapping his hand around your throat, this time he gently squeezed it. smirking at your little whines.
he watched you squirm as he pushed his cock painfully hard against your pussy. “think y-you could fuck with me? hm? always knew i’d be making you scream my name someday.” Rick said egotistically as his other hand captured your wrists above your head.
he sat and toyed with you, his haziness making him vulgar. watching the way your breath would hitch when he dry humped you, taking his hand off your throat and gently pushing back the hair stuck to your face.
rick displayed sweetness you’d never seen in him before. rick felt a way about you he’d never felt before. and he knew he needed so much more.
he came to a realization that this wasn’t just the plant making you feel so addictive, it was well, just you. he wanted you every night, now that he can act on it. this sent a jolt of possessiveness through him, your wearing short shorts around him? best believe from now on he’s smacking your ass.
think you can give him sultry bedroom eyes while he’s talking? no, not anymore. because now you know there’s no wall, nothing protecting you from him.
he wanted to see you take his dick, wanted to make you his little bitch. rick sat up, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his pants, his thick dick sprung out, blue hair decorated his shaft. you completely underestimated his size, he was fucking huge.
with his free hand he guided his dick to slick your lips, glossing them with his pre. “l-look at you, helpless l-little slut” he said degradingly, as he wiped a bead of pre falling from your lips. he tangled his hand in your hair as he suddenly plunged into your throat, making you choke.
you whined, his girth stretching your lips. his veins were thick, feeling them on the walls of your mouth as he fucked it carelessly, his heavy balls slapping your chin.
saliva started coaxing his dick, running down into your hair. his head fell back, groaning a deep moan as he pulled your hair, rick was ruthless. his thrusts got sloppy as your eyes rolled back, mascara running black streaks down your cheeks as your wrists started to ache from the pressure of his body.
he started slowing down, before suddenly burying his cock down your throat, bottoming out. he smirked as you fought, gagging and trying to free your wrists. you started choking on his dick, body rejecting it, but he only pushed deeper, truly mean. “w-what’s that? can’t take it anymore? *hiccup* now you know how i felt” he said cruelly with a smug face.
he pulled out when you were on the verge of passing out. wiping off your spit with his shirt, then taking it off along with his pants. then he kissed you, contradictingly sweet. rubbing his thumb over your cheek.
he stroked his cock, breaking the kiss as he took your legs on his shoulders. rick was very big compared to you, so he tried to take it slower with your pussy.
he pushed your panties to the side as his head explored your folds, so wet you stained his bed. he rubbed his tip on your clit, in painfully slow circles. “r-rick.. please” was all you could mutter, jaw still sore. he groaned at your begging.
he pushed in, tip coaxing in your slick. your heads fell back, he was so fucking big. his dick got wider in the middle, so it resisted going deeper into your pussy, he had to slowly bottom out as to not tear you.
when his balls hit your ass, you felt the most full you’ve ever felt in your life, insides reshaping to his girth, his head pushed painfully against your cervix, he wanted to go deeper, you let out a embarrassingly loud moan as he held your head softly.
you saw your stomach bulge as he suddenly pulled out, and slammed back in. you screamed, nails instinctively digging into his back. he winced from the pain, but he loved it, you felt his dick throb in you.
your mind was just him, your brain was like ice cream in his hot car. you were positive you’d never ever feel this good again, rick had definitely ruined sex for you.
he basically owned you, each time he’d pull out your pussy would flutter around his tip, he’d never fucked such a needy pussy, he was so horny he couldn’t tell wither it was the plant or you.
you felt him get sloppy and fast, thrusts no longer in slow rhythm. his voice got louder, cursing under his breath as he groaned deeply. you could tell he was getting close, he leaned down, folding you like paper as your pussy gushed around him, “r-rick!” you cried out, the pain and pleasure unbearable. he kissed you passionately, even somewhat sympathetically, yet continued bullying your cunt.
you could see his muscles twitch, thick cock throbbed in you hard. loud sounds of skin and slick mixed filled the room. rick grabbed the pillow taut by your head, burying his head in your neck. he groaned a string of curses as he bottomed out in your pussy, pushing into you so hard it hurt.
hot ropes of his cum painted your walls, his groans turned into whiny moans as his hips spazzed. he kissed you deeply, he was genuine. cock still throbbing as the affects completely disappeared after he came, filling you up with his seed. your all his now.
when his dick started to get soft he broke the kiss, laying down to the side of you as he pulled you close, kissing your head.
he pulled the blankets up over you, whispering sweet praises.
“s’ my good girl, my good sweet girl. takin’ me so good” he said, playing with your hair.
he was so sweet, you hadn’t expected this at all, you expected a dirty towel to cleanup and a “see you later”
but he cared, he knew how to care for a woman like men should do, you’d never felt that before.
“we gotta do that again, o-okay?” he said, doubt subtly creeping in that this might be the only time.
you looked up, kissing him softly. “oh rick, i don’t think i could ever get enough of you” you said, and that was 100% the truth.
rick smiled, for the first time you saw him peaceful, usually tense brows were relaxed.
he fell asleep alarmingly quickly, and he was such a deep sleeper his heavy body caged you in, no chance were you getting out.
🧪 rick finds out about your puppyplay kink... ꨄ∘˙٭
"hey, pup, pass me my flask?" he grumbles to you one day, as you're sitting in the lab watching him work.
you freeze. "p-pup?" you echo after him, eyes wide and mouth gaping.
"yeah- yeah, just pass me the - uuuurp - fucking booze," he says oddly defensively, grabbing it from you. "or i'll get it myself. gee, thanks."
you turn in your swivel chair to fully face him. "rick," you exclaim, brows furrowing. you try your best to fake annoyance, but in reality, you can feel your cheeks burning. "i-i'm not a fucking dog, w-what the hell is wrong with you?"
he gives you an unamused look. "yeah, uuurp - nice try, sweetie." he takes a swig from his flask. "you think i don't know you like that shit?"
you open your mouth to argue, but nothing comes out, the tips of your ears burning. "wha-... well-!" you sputter.
"oh, boy, here's the part where you get mad at me for 'invading your privacy,'" he says to himself, chuckling. "why are you surprised? i'm the smartest guy in the universe, of course i can deduct your kinks from simple small talk. i figured out you had a thing for praise the first conversation i had with you." he pauses, rubbing the back of his neck but showing no remorse. "and, uhh, going through your browser history to see what porn you watch helps."
he keeps rambling on about what other kinks you supposedly have, but you drown him out, getting lost in the embarrassment. "rick!" you exclaim, interrupting him. he looks at you with his eyebrows raised. "you went through my browser history?"
he takes a moment before scoffing and rolling his eyes. "that's not the point, the point is that i've known about your stupid - uuurp - puppyplay fetish for ages -"
"the point is that you went through my private things!" you cut in. "that's not okay! i mean, do you know how embarrassing that is, to have you see the fucking porn i watch - i'm not morty - or jerry, for fuck's sake, y-you don't have to monitor everything i do -"
you trail off with a squeak when he stands from his chair and corners you in your swivel chair against his workbench. "i monitor everything that everyone in this house does," he says, voice low and firm. "i know everything. i have a - uuurp - million bounties on my head. i have to make sure you guys aren't accidentally visiting some alien website or calling a number you saw on interdimensional cable and getting me into deeper trouble."
the anger drops from his face with a sigh as he kisses the top of your head and cups your cheek. "so it's nothing personal, sugar. i'm keeping you safe. and if i see your porn in the process, so be it," he mutters dismissively, sitting down and turning back to his work.
you stare blankly at him, flustered from the kiss and still processing everything he just said. "... sorry i didn't tell you," you mutter.
he reaches over and pets your head. "'s okay, sugar. just wish i knew sooner that you wanted to be a puppy for me, maybe i'd fuck your mouth while you humped my leg... like a dog in heat."
"yes please," you say, perking up maybe too quickly.
he looks over at you with a cheeky smirk. "yeah? you wanna be my pup? my good girl?" he turns his swivel chair to face you, scooting closer. "god, of course you're into bullshit like this, dumb fucking mutt." he pats his lap, his other hand squeezing his growing erection through his pants. "nghh... c'mere baby, come sit on daddy's lap."
