Ugh ... why is it so hard to find the infamous “first sentence”? Just shoot me!

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Ugh ... why is it so hard to find the infamous “first sentence”? Just shoot me!
I’m giving ko-fi a try.
So, if you want to support an coffee addict, liked and enjoyed my writing or want me to write more stories just click the link and buy me a coffee.
Thank you in advance :)
The Link can also be found directly on my blog.
I want to write but my motivation is super gone.
Does anyone want to be my muse and help me out with some ideas?
I need a joke that is not a joke at all but you can laugh about it anyway.
So, help?
Fanwork Meme
I got tagged by lovely @hildyj and @kurosmind:
FANWORK MEME : post your first ever posted fanwork for one fandom alongside the latest fanwork you have made - this includes fic, art, or cosplay.
30 Days of Writing (published October / November 2013)
12 Days of Yule (published December 2015)
Where those are there are 16 more stories of me. From One-Shot to Multi-Chapter-Stories (none of them yet finished but I’m working on that ;)) They can be found here. Plus there are surely some small stories or prompt ideas who have only been published on tumblr who can be found at my tag ‘Rinchen writes’.
I originally started writing in english just for myself (I was righteous self-conscious about that, not trusting in my abilities) and published my first “story” just for fun. My sentences were not as elaborate as they are now, although I know that I am not perfect and no native speaker. But I try ;)
I have no idea who has been tagged and who has not so I tag everyone who wants to play a bit :)
Soooooo ...
What presents would Thorin Bilbo gift with?
First Lines Meme
Post the first line from ten of your stories and then tag people.
I was tagged by @goldenlionprince and @heyerette to do this - here we go...
“Bilbo regretted the day he decided to venture home from a party of his grandfather all by himself and at night.“
Golden Emerald
“Viciously guarding his gold Thorin sat in the great treasury of Erebor.“
Where the light won’t find you
“It rained heavily as Thorin walked over the paved alley on the way to his favourite pub.”
Blaze of Glory
“Cries. Cries were all he could remember as he opened his eyes.“
Infidel
“Search for the stone!”
Arkenstone, Arkenstone, Arkenstone
“Dawn slowly broke over Laketown, wafts of mist meandering over the water.“
Durin’s Folk doesn’t make promises lightly
“Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, named Oakenshield for his deeds at the Battle of Azanulbizar was a humble dwarf.”
Let him eat cake
“The first time Thorin saw Bilbo was as he walked by the petshop, Fili and Kili on his hands.“
Thorin and the Goldfish
“The summer before Bilbo's sixth birthday was the best the little Hobbit had so far.”
You always meet twice in life if you just wait long enough
“Thorin let his head fall in his hands.“
Raunchy Bagginshield Romance
Wow, even I had forgotten some of them ;)
I tag everyone who wants to do this!
Oh my, I am so behind on my Bagginshield Alphabet. Tonight you will get another batch of my stories ...
I am so deeply sorry for flooding you lot with them.