BRAND OF OAT MILK MATTERS or a trio of crimes against liquid oats
I mean, yes, this blog is already a shrine to my incompetence. And yes, I've already posted evidence of my ineptitude with non-dairy milks. But quite frankly varying where I purchase my dairy milk never created such as drastic difference as with oat milk brands. Considering the heat I put the oat milk under I might as well roast myself for being an inept craftsman who blames their tools.
Also if you dare accuse me of earning a cent off of naming brands I will laugh in your face. This is Tumbly and I do this to mock myself, not be brand-friendly.
Chobani Extra Creamy was a bit bubbly and with that swishy/curvy heart it's giving me big Peace & Love, just chillax dude it's fiiiine vibes. And honestly, it's fiiiiine.
Oatley Barista is like a lotus in the mud, man. Like this is some good milk and I overdid it but she still has got some nice definition. You're a beauty despite me, but also you're a bit pricey where I shop soooooo
Like I never actually consented to purchasing Planet Oat but substitutions do what they do sometimes and I'VE BEEN THROWN IN TO A RIVER OF HELL FIRE. THIS IS TORTURE! THIS IS A MOCKERY! And it leaves this weird aftertaste/residue so you're punished if you dump it, punished if you drink it. See that little gap at the bottom of the cup? That's my chute to my particular circle of pretentious hell.
OOPSIES WITH OAT MILK: Alternative Milks Gone So Fuckin' Poorly
@whittertwitter: Yellow
@voodooistcorp: Purple
@hoperiahdawn: Green
Just for reference I typically use 2% cow juice so this is purely me just not having practice with the white liquids of the future.
