#roux-en-y

[sparrowsingsstories]

I am now home post surgery. I mean, I've been home since around 2:30 - when I drank some liquid and promptly went back to sleep. The surgery was a success (though the six sticks to get an IV going was...not a thrill). I have seven...SEVEN...incision sites on my tummy - all with stitches. These hurt more than coughing and that's saying something.

But I'm glad to be home and every day I'll get a bit better. Ya know?

Now to drink more water...

[postergirlwithnoposter]

Pre-op WLS update

Below cut for people that feel like reading:

I saw the damn psychologist last week Friday (the 31st) for that damn psych eval. and she deemed me severely anxious. I was like:

And she told me to see my therapist every week for the next 3 months and THEN comeback for clearance.  LET ME TELL YOU HOW FUCKING DISCOURAGED AND UNINSPIRED I HAVE BEEN! I play this scenario out in my head where I shout at her, telling her I don’t need this surgery for weight loss, but to help my severe hiatal hernia, GI issues/GERD. I neglected to tell her this in the appointment, hence it being a scenario in my head.  I have every intention of talking to my therapist about it on Tuesday... give her the clinical psychologist’s card that was given to me to call her or e-mail, whatever, explain to her that its not feasible for me to see her once a week for the next three months.  That said, I also see the doctor that works with the bariatric surgeon in a week or so, too. Plus my psychiatrist (who incidentally used to give psych evals for a bariatric surgeon in another surrounding city) and see what she says.  It’s not like I don’t have people who have my back, or my “cheerleaders” as the dr put it and can vouch for me, that while yes, I have “severe anxiety” (fuck that, I have generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety), that I DO use coping mechanisms and take medication to help with it. And once I saw the doctor that works with my bariatric surgeon and the nutritionist, I felt better about this whole ordeal. Its the surgery itself that scares the piss out of me! Anyway, so I’m discouraged now due to the damn psychologist. I’m not doing anything different than what I was before. Still eating better in order to do the 3 months of documented weight loss. TRYING to exercise, but my joints won’t stop subluxing, so I am going to talk to the dr about that. Might have to get kinetic tape or something. Tonight I ate a LOT of fruit. Way more than I should have. I didn’t binge, just kiiinda overate. I’m trying to be mindful about the “limited real estate” that I’ll be dealing with one I have with the Roux-En-Y or gastric bypass. And my mom had to food police me about it, “YOU PROBABLY ATE ABOUT 4 SERVINGS!”. She also bought me a candy bar. Getting mixed signals from her. Food policing me, yet trying to enable me. I DON’T GET HER. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 So yeah, to say I’m overwhelmed and discouraged is a bit of an understatement.  At least I have the upper GI and labs to look forward to on Monday to see whether or not I have Gastroparesis, if that’s causing my slow-transit bowel movements. 

[postergirlwithnoposter]

I followed some WLS blogs because I’m on a journey to have Roux-En-Y (gastric bypass), to fix how I digest, my hiatal hernia and put my GERD into remission.  If any of y’all are a weight loss surgery blog or on this journey too, feel free to follow! I am looking or some non-toxic support. This is in NO WAY an invitation for toxic fitspo bullshit. So if you’re a fitspo blog, you will be blocked. Even though this surgery will make me lose weight, I am still fat positive (which is fucking with my head tbh). Thanks. :) 

[bariatricbunny-blog]

The dreaded weigh-in. 5lbs down is nice, though.

[bariatricbunny-blog]

Holy Shit

Wow.  I made this blog 3 years ago.  And guess what?  I currently weight 277 pounds, which means I certainly did NOT get real.

However, a lot of shit has changed.  I am in a better place emotionally right now, my depression is under control, and I have some real motivation.  Which is why back in September I spoke to my doctor about bariatric surgery.  I am currently seeing a team of professionals that are helping me physically, nutritionally, and psychologically with my goals as well as helping me get reading for gastric bypass surgery. I intend to use this blog to help me stay focused, motivated, and to just keep track for me, but I would love it if others gave their own thoughts and input as well.