-> Starting Line: Light Lag - DECO*27 ft Topi ( has subtitles )
~ Photographs - Marble Sounds ( video )
~ Safe and Sound - Capital Cities ( video )
~ Adorable - Artist vs. Poet
Story Under Cut! You can also read it here on my AO3
Ace is humming.
It’s barely noticeable, soft and low to hear, but Sabo realizes that he’s humming. It’s something unfamilar, possibly his own tune, but he looks happy while setting himself up into their bed.
Sabo remains in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and ringing his hand through his hair to press the humidity from it after his recent shower. He quickly finishes, rinsing his mouth and putting his toothbrush back and turning off the light. He makes his way into the room and stands at the foot of the bed.
“Ace.”
The humming stops. “Mm?”
“Whatcha humming there?”
Silver eyes glance up from where he fiddles with his nightshirt, and he blinks. “Oh. Dunno. It’s just something, I guess.” He gives a shrug.
“Mm.”
The blond crawls into the bed, sliding next to him and goes under the thousand covers they have, and presses his body close to Ace’s. Arms wrap around his waist loosely, and he gives a fond smile as he turns, back pressing into the freckled man’s chest.
A light is turned off, and the room is engulfed in darkness.
“Goodnight, love,” Ace coos in his ear, and Sabo snorts.
“Goodnight, dork.”
He feels a hand grabbing his, and fingers lace together tightly. A nose brushes against the nape of his neck, and lips meet at his back. A moment passes, and he hears the humming start up again, but there’s heavy vibrations that follow. A hand travels through his hair slowly, and Sabo feels himself being lulled to sleep. It’s louder because it’s right next to his ear, but just as soft, as if the humming was not meant to disturb him.
And just as quick as it came, the humming stops.
He waits with bated breath for the humming to continue, but all he hears is the ticking of the clock on their wall.
“Who told you to stop?”
“What?”
“Keep doing that.”
He feels warm breath next to his ear, and he shivers slightly. “Why?” The question was whispered, unsure.
“…it feels nice,” he mumbles, cheeks growing hot. His other hand tightens on the bedsheets beneath him, and he closes his eyes. “I like it.”
He feels Ace smiling beside his temple, and he wills himself to breathe when his body is pushed closer and there are kisses being laid along his neck, right against his thundering pulse. The humming is a little quieter, but there’s an identifiable tune to it, a song they both know to their heart’s content and reminds them of their relationship, and it brings a huge smile to Sabo’s face. The kisses continue, light and quick, and it brings warmth to Sabo. He finds himself sighing happily, and his hands rub at Ace’s forearm sleepily.
.
And when the humming stops one last time, Sabo is deep in sleep, a gentle smile on his face.
I had help by my friend Bunbo (from discord) since it plays off their Addams Sabo! Hope you all enjoyed~!!
After reading the letter, Ace had gone to the cliff and screeched his heart out in disbelief. Sabo had promised to wait until seventeen, where they would practically sail out together for being so close in age. The forest wouldn’t be the same anymore without Sabo to linger, and though Ace knew to take care of Luffy, it felt like someone ripped part of his heart from his chest, like a gaping bleeding wound. More screams to the sea left him, cursing the celestial dragons, cursing the sea for swallowing up his friend, cursing himself for not being there.
The venting left him raw in the throat, with red eyes, and dry tear streaks on his cheeks. Nothing else could leave him, never wanting to reach this point in his life so soon. It was too soon, it wasn’t ever supposed to happen like this, not like a sudden hurricane—streamlining and ruining his last amount of innocence he felt he had left. They were to sail the seas, make a name for themselves and only let the Maiden take control over their lives after setting sail. Living day by day when out on the sea, not before they were seventeen. Sabo had promised to wait, and he broke that because of the pressure and Ace deeply blamed himself for letting it happen. He should have gone to Sabo, he should have tried harder, he should have killed his father when he could.
A startle reaches Ace at the suddenly purely dark thought. Trying to calm his racing mind, he can’t help but notice he enjoyed that idea more than he first thought. It jolted to mind with no issue and blared through his mind like a mantra, pressing down to his shoulders. The blame for letting his friend die and not trying harder, it harbored down on him like the heaviest thing he could ever come across—more than the beasts in the jungle.
From then on, Ace couldn’t bring himself to turn away from those dark thoughts, especially when Magra found Sabo’s body on shore days later. It was a catalyst of breaking Ace down more. At the sight of and when the body was buried--the smell, it was engraved into him. He would never forget it. The words from people in town began to weigh down more—how they said he was the son of a monster. It made him grow more vigorous and vicious in his training—his fighting style. There were times that Ace glanced with a lingering amount of care to Luffy, but otherwise his heart was being consumed. If they thought Roger was a monster, then they were going to be in for a rude surprise when he reached out to the world.
Luffy grew a little distant, acting as himself, but one time he had admitted that Ace was starting to turn into someone else—not his Ace. It left a burning ache in Ace’s chest, but at the same he couldn’t understand how Luffy wouldn’t admit to things that he had seen to the general public. The nobles and their disgusting ways, people with their sneering and dirty tricks, not to mention the celestial dragons that took away his Sabo. Though through it all, Ace still carried a protectiveness for his little brother and knew he would do near anything to protect what he had left.
The only one that was able to quell his hatred for his father, to give him a reason to live in this damned world, and the one to seek him through everything—someone who he had even admitting to who his father was—was now dead. Sabo understood him like no one else, not even Dadan quite brought herself to his level to understand all his thoughts. The older he got, the darker the thoughts became, and Ace knew it was because he lost his last standing light—a simple glow lingering from Luffy not being enough. Once losing it, his life started to dim and his view upon everything began to become more and more dangerous.
When he finally turned seventeen and sailed away, the gathering was few and he kept it that way. Dadan was there with a few others, Makino, and of course Luffy. They were the only ones that he tolerated anyways, so he didn’t mind as he sailed off with black hat donned on his head and an orange belt that his little brother gave him as a parting gift. Ace thought of doing something to remember Sabo, but he never knew what he could do to fully giving the feeling and meaning behind it, so instead he kept the goggles found with the wreckage that had washed up.
The Grand Line was not prepared for Ace, ruthless with his dagger and fists at first. No mercy lied within his gaze, anyone standing in his way was taken out to never bother him again. They always claimed that if Roger ever had a child it would be a monster, and here he was fulfilling something that they caused all on their own. Packing up with gunpowder, filling to the brim, before setting it off with Sabo’s death. Nothing mattered, he knew Luffy could handle himself, he would have to as they were miles apart, with no way to get back to his little brother quickly or otherwise.
Ace became darkness, the devil fruit calling to him when he found it in the chest at a raid they did on an island full of bandits. The fruit was consumed after reading the notations of what it was, and he couldn’t help himself, his crew leaving him to do as he wanted. As his power become known to the world, figuring out how to gain other abilities and gaining fire, they easily named him ‘Shadowfire Ace’. The bounty set was high, and even his crew knew better than to interrupt anything he would do.
Then everything changed…
They approached the town at night. Ace liked the view along the streets when it was dark, feeling himself at home when people slept. The quiet, serenity of no one to speak, to stare, to breathe. It was something he desired once in a great while, as he had become used to his crew being themselves and even faked a fleeting smile like he was opening up every once in a while, but it was a beautiful show—Ace could hear applauds filling his mind when playing well.
Heels clicking the ground makes him groan in frustration, as he had been enjoying the peace and quiet of the night. Pulling his shadows from the path more to not make his darkness linger so long, he tries to pretend as if he isn't a dark force of nature and fire- even if that is mostly all he is these days. Dragging his gaze forward and along sleek black-heeled boots moving with ease along the stone path, clacking sharply as the other approaches, Ace slowly drags his gaze upwards. Legs are exposed from just below the knee to show scarred skin on the left side of the leg—though Ace is not sure how much by the distance and lingering night—then to shorts that are just above mid-thigh. Ace allows his eyes to trail further up—pausing as he views more of the button up shirt, where he sees that of a dark flower resting, while also seeming to be wilting. Suspenders go along the stark difference with the white shirt and not many can pull off the look, but this man did easily. Though, as he reaches the face—Ace finds that is where he feels his chest tighten as he swallows thickly.
“Ace…?” The voice lingers. The clicking has stopped and Ace can’t help but stare at curious dark eyes—not able to tell the color in the current lighting.
Sabo? His mind races at the view of what would have been an older version of Sabo. The scarring almost matched of what his Sabo had been left with when they found him along the shore and had haunted him into his dreams. Though only one arm shows from the short sleeves to have scarring, unlike what his Sabo had—as if he was trying to stay afloat on a burning plank that had engulfed both arms and most of his face and neck.
“For, alas! alas with me!” The Sabo-lookalike’s hands shift out in a display to his words, feet shifting to slowly saunter closer. “The light of Life is o’er! No more—no more—no more—!” The scrapping of metal heels against the ground brings a shiver through Ace and he can’t find it in himself to move as he finds himself entranced by the slow approach. “And all my days are trances,” the voice is almost haunting now, but seeing a small tilt of the head and wicked gleam in his eyes, Ace can’t pull his own eyes away. “And all my nightly dreams- are where thy grey eye glances,” words tickle along Ace’s ears as he views upon a sinister smile that brings an alluring tone to everything. The other male’s legs still shift slowly to place his feet against the road while he draws himself closer to where Ace stands. “And where thy footstep gleams—In what ethereal dances,” pale lips shift in a way that pulls his attention there before a small sliver of a blade is in a hand, trailing along a chin as those eyes almost sparkle in macabre emotions, showing even in the dark a dance. It was something dragging, causing Ace to shift a small step before a stretched grin shows—within it a darkness Ace has never felt—almost looming over him. “By what eternal streams…”
The knife flickering in the moonlight is soon gone, hidden in the chest where the man’s heart lays. An overwhelming panic and fear settles in Ace at the blossoming blood along the white shirt, the man only a few arms length away from him yet reminding him so much of his best friend it’s painful to see this. It was clear that he was bleeding, but that sedated smirk confused him. Was Ace hallucinating? Did he even want to see such a sight? One with Sabo being the one to die before him in such a manner?
As this man before him like another version of Sabo that could have existed had he survived shifts, Ace jerks to get darkness to catch him and is befuddled on how to react. This man couldn’t be his Sabo, he had buried his Sabo years ago, causing him to change into a whole different person. It was something he enjoyed—changing, not burying Sabo—but it was no doubt that the body is real and not a mere illusion. As Ace removed the knife before consuming the man within his shadows, so many questions plague him. In the end, however, he had time to think over questions in the darkest depths of the forest connected to the town.
Oh how Ace had not realized how much his life would turn out with this man now within it.
A Couple Years Too Late ( written by @reiji--san ) single chapter
a03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955889
Summary:
A collection of letters written over time with no set destination, but always a person in mind.
Letters to No One
Dear Sabo,
This is stupid.
Makinos got this idea in her head that I’m sad. Which I’m not. Im not sad anymore at all. I’m not. Its just hard. Youre not When you died FUCK. Whatever. fuck spelling and whatnot too. not like you can read this anymore anyway. look. this is suposed to help i guess. a coping mechi mechen method. i write this letter and she stops naging at me. whatever it takes to make them all stop loking at me like im going to snap any second or try to run off again. not like i would anyway.
i know youre not coming back.
you’re dead
you left and you died and theres nothin i can do to turn back time or bring you back or get revenge becus the people that killed you are already GONE and i didnt even know until it was already to late
but im fine
im fine
im not fine
luffy is well hes been better but hes always been a crybaby so he’ll get better. im supposed to be strong now, stronger but i dont really i don’t know how to handle the emotions and whatnot. not like you did. you always seemed to just GET it always sayin the right things, calmin me us him down. i can’t do that but im trying. im getting better i think.
we’ll get thrugh it
fuck this is stupid
what’s the point in writing a letter youl never read? or writing at all damn it
you taght me how to do this bulshit but i never thought id have to use it like this
fuck im not supposed to cry. messed up the ink now. not that it matters but still i wanted to fuck i dont know what i wanted anymore
sorry
im sorry sabo. i should have been i dunno. something. its different without you. too quiet and theres this pain in my chest all the time. like i’m the one that got shot. don’t get it but i hate it and it hurts and i just i wish you were here. i really wish you were here
i miss you
ace
sabo,
hey i uhh found the other letter. never ended up giving it to makino but i think she knew i wrote it at least. luffy did but i don’t know what he did with his. i kept mine in the tree house, under one of the loose boards. its a little water damaged but i don’t think you really care huh?
this is still weird, talking to you like this. even though its not really a talk if its only one way. just like talking to an empty room but not even talking out loud
sorry
its been two years now to the day. maybe thats why i ended up finding the old letter in the first place. havent really been to the tree house much since then anyway because
well you know
went to the cliff tho. the one we used to sit at? i went there first yknow when i got youre letter. took me a while since im still not great at reading. getting better tho. it was quiet. always kinda is but really quiet this time with just a little wind. I think it would be a good day to go sailing. was it like this when you left too? dogma said it was a nice day but i dont really remember it that way.
i dont know why i do this to myself. same as last time i always get i dunno. my chest still hurts. theres a doctor in foosha i went to once a while ago. thought maybe something was wrong with me. he said it was heart break. youd think this is something id get over but i guess not
youre still dead and im still breaking
i dont know when its gonna stop
if it does at all
ace
sabo,
Is it nice where you are?
Overheard some people talking about it today. Talking about death and what comes after. It sounds nice. Heaven. If thats where you went. I think it should be. Where you went, that is, but nice too I guess.
It sounds warm.
I wonder sometimes if my mom went there too. Still dont really know much about her but she sounded nice. Maybe youve met? Is my d Nah it doesn’t matter. I hope its nice there. I dont really beleive in that kinda stuff normaly, still kinda dont but i hope its true and youre happy there. Happier than you were here
I know its probably a stupid thing to ask but do you think ill ever be able to join you there?
The waves were choppy at the cliff today. Almost angry. Theres a storm comin but i think ill still go there later. Maybe
Ive been thinking about death a lot lately
ace
Hey
I didn’t jump, obviously, since i’m writing to you now. Again. Sorry for the silence. Sometimes I just— I dont know. Everything rushes to my head all at once. It helps, occasionally, but then there are the times where my head fills with one singular drive or emotion and thats it, that’s all I can focus on. It used to be anger. So much anger. That was easier than the sadness though. Or the guilt.
There’s things I haven’t really told you. A lot of things actually. I was trying to be strong I guess. Still am. But Makino was right about one thing. It does help, these letters. I like to think sometimes that you just know. That you can read them or that my words somehow magically transfer to you. Wherever you are. But I know that kinda stuff doesnt happen. Not really. So this is more me talking to myself then. That I can do.
So for starters I guess, I had a dream about you last night. I used to have dreams about you a lot. Nightmares too. It’s been a while though, at least a few months since the last one. Normally the dreams are the same, extended memories or something small but usually just the two of us, sometimes luffy. Last night you turned to me in my dream but your face wasn’t right. And I think that’s more terrifying than any of the nightmares i’ve had.
I’m starting to forget what you look like, what you sound like.
It’s been six years now. Longer than the time I knew you. All I have left is the flag Luffy and I found in the wreckage of your ship. I tried to look for more but most of it’s been buried now and i’m afraid. I don’t know what Id do if I found your bones there.
We never took any pictures, never saved enough for something as meaningless as a camera and i regret that now.
I think i’m going to get a tattoo soon. Before I leave the island. Even if I forget what you look like and the sound of your laugh I still want to take you with me somehow. So you can sail the seas instead of — well.
I just don’t want to forget you sabo
Ace
Me again,
I got that tattoo that I said I would in my last letter. It’s been a while now but it still itches every once in a while. Hah, you should have seen the guys face when I explained what I wanted done. People still keep mistaking it for a mispelling. As if I didn’t know how to spell my own name.
Anyway, got that done a little before I left Dawn and a lot has happened since then. I have my own crew! And a devil fruit too, though man was that a surprise. Still don’t really have the best of control over it and I set random things on fire sometimes but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. I’m a CAPTAIN now! Got my own flag and everything. We’re the Spade pirates. Isn’t that cool? The Ace of Spades is supposed to be a card that symbolizes death but I don’t think we’re so bad. Hell, we’ve actually helped a lot of people so I hope you’re proud of me. Still wish you could have been my navigator but we probably would have ended up fighting all the time huh? Can’t have two people that want to be captain in the same crew obviously. You would have loved this life though.
I know you’re probably in a pretty nice place yourself right now but the open sea on a clear day is the most beautiful thing. And the STARS Sabo — when the sun sets down low you don’t even need the moon to see, the stars are so bright. Brighter than they ever were on the island.
You’re up there somewhere huh?
Is the view better than the one I’ve got right now?
Seven years is a long time my friend. I’ve grown a lot since I last saw you. Do you grow at all where you are? I bet I’d still be taller than you.
Wish you were here
Ace
Hey Sabo
I think I need some advice right about now.
It’s been 103 days since Whitebeard defeated me and took me onto his flagship. Yeah, uhh, probably should have updated you on that sooner, huh? My bad. My crew was defeated not that long after I was too. We’re all here now but we’re fine I promise. Actually, that’s kinda my problem.
I want No, I wanted to kill him at first. Whitebeard. All this time hearing about my dad and all he accomplished in life, all he did. So many people that respected or hated him and I just — I don’t know. I heard that Whitebeard was around and I figured if I could just be the one to take him down, the one to kill him even when Roger couldn’t then maybe — Maybe I could prove myself. Prove that I’m stronger than him, than Roger. That I’m better somehow. Or at least different.
Not that that really worked out.
Could have killed me but instead he took me here and made this stupid speech about family and trust and wanting me to be his son or something and I told him no. Obviously. I don’t need a family after all, or at least more family. I’ve got Luffy. And you. Plus I wasn’t I’m not about to just throw away my own ambitions yknow? I promised you, I PROMISED you that we’d go out to sea and live free lives, the life of pirates. I don’t want that to end, not when I wanted to take you with me on that journey, the life you never got to live.
So I kept fighting and fighting and fighting over and over again, new tactics, new plans. But Sabo I’m so tired now.
So tired.
And they’re really starting to grow on me. As much as I’ve tried to avoid the crew or even piss them off. There’s this one guy, Thatch, in particular that is just too god damn nice ALL THE TIME. And Marco too though he’s kinda stuck up. And they keep talking about family. About belonging and — I don’t know.
Is it bad that a part of me wants that? To have an actual home? To belong?
They don’t know though, not yet at least. They don’t know who I am and maybe — FUCK I don’t know. I don’t know how they’d react to knowing who I am, what I am. I’m scared to find out. But is it worth trying?
Would you hate me if I gave up a part of my freedom for something more?
I feel like I’m betraying you somehow. But at the same time I think you would want me to be happy too.
I don’t know yet for sure but maybe, maybe this is my one chance.
Ace
He KILLED him.
One of the few genuine friends I have and he’s dead. All because of GREED. Why does this keep happening. Every time I grow attached and start to feel safe something like this happens again just to prove how messed up the world really is. Over a stupid FRUIT and now thatch is dead and— fuck. A member of my own division too. My responsibility and I failed again. Just like I failed you.
I can’t protect ANYONE. Even after all the training and the fighting, the missions and responsibilities. But when it actually matters I’m not even there and my friend gets stabbed in the back and left to DIE.
The blood’s on my hands. I should have known. Should have picked up on the signs and done something — anything . But I was too late. Again. And now he’s gone and that TRAITOR is who knows where.
Well not this time.
This isn’t going to be like what happened with you, with an enemy I never knew and had no chance of finding.
This time I’m going to find him and I’m going to make him pay.
I don’t care if I’m cursed. Maybe I brought this on them in the first place, just by being here. But I’m not going to just sit by and let this happen again. I couldn’t take revenge for you but I can for Thatch.
I can at least do that.
Sabo,
I’m getting close.
I know you probably don’t care, but writing to you like this is the only thing that seems to be keeping me sane recently. It’s like I’m chasing a damn shadow. Every time I get close or feel like I’ve finally caught up the bastard does something to out maneuver me or fuck me up somehow. It’s been months now but this time I think I’ve finally cornered him. Teach is apparently on his way to Water 7 now and there’s a little island, Banaro, that he’s sure to stop at. If I can get there before he leaves then I can finally avenge Thatch. I can make up for my own failures and make sure that he never hurts anyone from my family again.
I dunno how it’s going to go yet but he hasn’t had much time to master his new fruit yet so I should have the upper hand regardless of whatever that rat has planned.
Short letter this time, I know, but I don’t really have a lotta time to waste right now. I’ll be reaching port soon and from there — well, who knows. Guess I’ll probably update you again afterwards though, or whenever I get back to the rest of my crew.
It’s nice to know that I’ll finally be able to avenge someone important to me. Risky, but I know you’d do the same.
Ace
Sabo,
I’m being executed today.
Guess that’s a solid way to start off my last this letter, huh? Yeah, nice going Ace, well done. I really know how to keep things upbeat in these damn things don’t I?
Damn it.
Teach, well he, FUCK— sorry.
I don’t want to do this.
He beat me. I don’t have any excuses, nothin I can say to make up for what happened or explain it in anyway. He just did. Just another reason to hate him I guess, but if the alternative was joining him then this is better. Much better, Still, uhh, it hasn’t exactly been fun. Impel Down was just about as bad as I expected, maybe worse even. There’s— you know what, it doesn’t matter what it was like. You don’t need to know that.
Maybe I’m just stalling now.
They don’t really give a lot of time for these things apparently, even when they’re last requests. Bullshit, but I think they just don’t want me to be late for my closeup. Gol D. Roger’s only son means I’m about to broadcasted all around the world. Thanks dad. Great perks. Though, I expected as much. Just proving what I always feared.
ANYWAY, at least I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. Don’t actually know how long I was locked up in there but the silence does things to people, to me. I didn’t dream much while I was there, kinda hard to sleep, but I thought about you a lot. Actually, been thinkin about you a lot for a while but this was different I suppose.
The guys down there like to talk a lot. It helps pass the time but most of them are kinda shit people so I didn’t reply much. Still listened though.
Y’know, in twenty years, I’ve done a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot— more than most my age, but there’s a lot I didn’t get to do too, didn’t learn about.
I never really thought about love until recently. It’s not really a pirate thing, huh? High seas and all that nonsense but life moves fast and a lot happens all at once. Not a lotta time to sit around and, I dunno, dream?
Whatever. Well, the guys down there talked a surprising amount about it, like it’s something magical, better than any other treasure, and it got me thinkin. I’ve never really cared about that stuff, haven’t since I was a kid. But I guess that’s because I figured no one would be able to stand me for long, no one would actually accept me for who I am. But, that’s not really right, huh? Since you did that right from the start. I’ve known that for ages but guess it didn’t really sink in until now.
Call it childish innocence or whatever, but you accepted me even back then when I was broody and angry and maybe a little murderous. You knew who I was, my history, my dreams, and you didn’t laugh or run away or anything like that. You smiled that stupid smile of yours and just accepted me, all of me.
Here I am about to— about to leave , and it’s because there’s a whole fucking WORLD out there that can’t seem to do the same thing a five year old noble brat could — no offense.
And y’know, if that’s the closest I get to love then I’ll take it. Hell, maybe I even love you too. Actually, no. I don’t think maybe is even a factor anymore. Seems stupid now that I think about it, but I probably loved you even back then. From the very start. Little late to be figuring that out now, huh?
They’re rushing me. Marine bastards.
I know I’ve talked a lot about, well, death. So many years spent just thinkin that I deserve it, just because of who my father was, but now that there’s this whole messed up world agreeing with me, is it wrong that I’m— fuck — I’m scared Sabo. Absolutely terrified and there’s nothing I can do about it. All these years I’ve practically asked for it and now—
I know it’s late to start saying this, way too late now, but Sabo, I want to live.
I want to do so much with my life than this. I want to explore more, see more. I want— I want what I can’t have anymore. And it sucks. It really fucking sucks, but this is how it ends for me. Goin out the same way my shitty pops did. Apparently. What a sick joke this all is.
But I'm running out of time now. Guess I’ve spent what time I had. Garp knows what to do with this after... after everything. I know it won't matter in the end, but I think all of these should be together, y'know? Just in case. It's nice to know that he still considered me family, even now. He's the only one here that seems to actually care. You would think these assholes would cut me a little slack now that we’re here but I just… I don’t think it matters to them that I'm about to die. Not even a little bit. Shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I’m still human after all. Just like them. But maybe they don’t see it like that.
I’d pray for miracles but I don’t think there are any gods out there to help me. I still don’t think there are any gods at all. Doesn't really bode well for what comes after, huh?
Luffy’s going to be mad at me. I promised him that I wouldn’t die.
Maybe we can both watch over him though? You’ll probably be mad at me for saying this but a part of me is a little relieved. At the end. At least I’ll get to see you again, right? I don’t even know if we’ll both end up in the same place, but I can hope. I really, really hope. It’s selfish but I’m glad that I won’t be alone. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
Ace
A Couple Years Too Late
Dear Ace,
It’s been a while, has it not? I’m sorry, but man do I have some things to tell you.
If only I could tell you.
I got your letters. Well, more like I found your letters. Stored away in a box at our old tree house. Can you believe it’s still intact after all these years? Pretty good for a couple of kids huh?
.
.
.
Dear Ace,
I’m sorry. I can’t believe I stopped so soon. Not even a couple sentences in and I had to leave the room. What an idiot. Let me start again.
Hey Ace. How are you? Are you eating well? Getting enough rest? You have to make sure to take care of yourself, I’m not there to nag at you anymore now. You’re all grown up. I sound like such a parent I’m sorry. I just care and want the best for you. I got your letters. I’m sorry the delivery took so long. Way too long. It’s a shame this is how we reunite. I hoped I could have seen you at least once before
.
.
.
Dear Ace,
I did it again. At this rate I’ll clean out Headquarter’s paper supply. I’m sorry. It’s just, every time I write, my vision gets blurry and I can’t see anymore. How can I properly reply to you if I don’t know what I’m writing? Would be embarrassing if I had a bunch of spelling mistakes especially since I’m the one that taught you how to write.
Speaking of which, you’ve gotten a lot better! I can see from the different letters you wrote. It makes me happy to see that, shows you practiced a lot. Did you help Luffy too? I only taught him so much before I left, I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard on you.
It must have been really hard on you…
I’m sorry. I keep speaking nonsense. I just don’t know where to begin, what to say. This is the third time I’m trying to write to you and you are right—it’s pretty stupid. Maybe a part of me is just hoping that the same thing will happen with you. That you’ll get this letter in 10 years or so and then maybe we could meet again, somewhere in this wide ocean.
Or maybe somewhere in skies up above.
I can dream, right?
.
.
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Hey Ace, Is this how you felt? When you wrote every one of those letters, did it hurt this badly each time? I’m sorry, I should’ve come to get them sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t even be writing this right now if I had. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to write them if I had come sooner. I’m sorry. I really made it hard for you huh? I’m happy you wrote though. It feels as if you are here, talking to me. Telling me of your struggles, your adventures. All the good and the bad—even though I already knew some of this. I’m happy for you Ace. Truly I am. I wish I could’ve been there when you sailed out to sea, we could’ve sailed out together. Met your first crew, that I wouldn’t be a part of because I would have had a better crew.
When you found a family .
I’ll have to visit them one day, and properly thank them. It’s the least I can do.
Hey, remember the declarations we made back at the cliff? I still haven’t done mine, been busy, it’ll probably take a while. Still, you did yours did you not? You let the whole world know who you were. Fire Fist Ace, that’s a pretty cool name they gave you. You were always the better big brother so I’m not surprised you beat me to it. Mine’s a little bit harder so cut me some slack okay?
Weird how the past couple days I struggled to write and now it’s all just pouring out, I’m sorry it’s such a mess of words. I still don’t know what to really say. My vision is still blurry but I’m fighting through it. I’m sorry the paper may be a little wet.
…I’m sorry.
Twelve times. Twelve times I’ve said those two words but nothing changes, nothing will change. I’ve come to that conclusion. Took me a while.
A long while.
It’s been two years or so since you left. Every night I have the same dream. And every time you’re always out of reach. Every single night I wonder “Would things have been different if I was there?” People kept telling me there’s no right answer to that.
Would you be alive right now if I had remembered just a little sooner?
Ah that’s right. I haven’t told you. I didn’t think it would matter if you knew since it wouldn't change anything, I’m sorry. Thirteen. I lost my memories. Pretty shitty thing for me to do right? I know. While you were suffering I didn’t even know you were a part of my life. While you died, I paid no mind because I didn’t know. You must be really mad at me. For forgetting so easily.
And then life rewards me my memories when I see your death mention in the papers. That’s pretty fucked up huh? Maybe I should’ve looked at the papers sooner.
Hey Ace, do you know now? Is it pretty up there where you are? Have you met your mom? She’s up there too right? I’m sure she is. If there is a Heaven I know you’re there. Regardless of what people say, what they may have called you, Heaven is where you belong. The image of an angel truly suits you, you know. Maybe you always were an angel, and god sent you down to me. Can I let you in on a little secret? Thanks to you, I was able to become who I am today. If I hadn’t met you that day you pulled me out of the Grey Terminal I probably would’ve been back in that castle, suffering. You changed my life for the better and I’m eternally grateful. And seeing as you brought it up first; I love you too. Always did. Even during my amnesiac years, I’m sure that part of me was still there. Loving you even if it didn’t remember you. Sad that we’re sharing such things now huh? It’s almost laughable. Yet not even a smile comes to my face right now… What am I saying? I’m sorry, I ramble a lot.
Fourteen.
It’s been almost two years since then Ace and the pain just gets worse. Does it ever go away? Did it ever go away for you? It’s like a nail is constantly being hammered into my chest. Some days they slam the hammer harder than others. Some days they slam it so hard I can barely breathe… I can cover it up better than before at least, can function in my daily life. Oh yeah—I’m a Revolutionary, have I told you that yet?
Do you think if this world was different, you would still be alive? I wonder.
Are these letters really supposed to help? The only thing it’s helping with is making the pain worse. Will you even read this? Maybe if I send it flying high enough, will it reach you? Or maybe you're watching me right now as I write it? If you are then well…
I miss you.
God I miss you so much.
It’s not fair. Why did you have to be the one to leave? My first friend, best friend, my partner, my brother, my… There are so many things I want to share with you. I want to see you again. See you smiling, laughing, angry—I just want to see you. Even if it’s just one more time.
Would it have been better if I had died that day? Would I be with you right now? I’ve had that thought so many times. And maybe I tried to join you…so many times.
But I’ve thought a lot. Luffy is still out there is he not? I can’t just leave our little brother like that. I’ve already fucked up enough as it is. Even if he hates me, pushes me away and never wants to see me again—I’ll protect him. I asked you to take care of him before, now it’s my turn.
By the way, I’ll be visiting you soon—no, not like that. Sadly. I’ve avoided doing it for a while because I didn’t want to believe it but I think it’s time now.
I’m sorry…that I can’t be with you, not yet. But you aren’t alone. I may not be next to you, but I’m always thinking of you. Every waking moment and every time I close my eyes. You’re there.
Fifteen.
We’ll meet again soon. There are just some things I have to take care of here first. It may sound a little selfish but please wait for me okay? Just a little longer.
The first picture is transparent, so if you click on it it will look way better!
The second 2 pictures were made by my wife after I sent her my initial very shitty sketch and she made it into these gorgeous pictures! ♪ ♬ ヾ(´︶`♡)ﾉ ♬ ♪
