Scoliosis community, I have a question for you!
So basically, I discovered scoliosis when I was 16 (very late), wore a corset until 18 and then just tried to loose my pain with gym and pilates. Today I’m 24 and I am in sooo much pain every single second of the day. I quit all the jobs I had after 1 week just because I was literally dying of pain. It now takes a little thing like cleaning the house, walking for 10 mins or just standing up for a little while and I am in PAIN. My orthopedist said that my scoliosis is usually treated with surgery (both curves are 55 degrees) but he doesn’t recommend me the surgery because the two titanium bars and the rods will also cover the L4 vertebrae and in the future it will cause me pain anyway. I was so convinced to do the surgery but now I am even more confused! I know the spinal fusion is an extremely delicate surgery but I also think that if I don’t do it I will suffer for the rest of my life. I am just 24 and I am already in so much pain, my mental health is going insane and just thinking about suffering from now already and for the rest of my life makes me cry. I’ve cried a thousand times lately. I think that the spinal fusion will make me feel better at least for a few years! But I’m not sure, I’m very scared.
So my question(s) goes to all people who had a spinal fusion: does the pain go away a little bit with the surgery? Did you have complications from it? Did it cause something else (nerve pain? headaches?)? Did you regret doing it? Did it make you feel better? Will I feel better or will I regret the surgery?
Sorry for all these questions, but I’m very tired of my condition. I can’t do anything without being in pain. Nobody understands me. My parents are against me (they don’t really want me to do the surgery) but I want to do it because I want to be happy. I fear of my curves getting worse when I will be old, I fear of getting even more pain, I fear to get a very painful pregnancy with the obvious consequence of my curves getting worse. I can’t have a job because I know I will die of pain. I am feeling so depressed, crying everytime I think about it (which is always because I am always in pain) and mentally (other than physically lol) I am definitely not okay. I sometimes even think I prefer dying rather than being in pain for the rest of my life and this is not okay. I just want to be happy. Even for just 10 years. Because I know that when we get old, the pain is inevitable. But now I am young and I want to do something to feel a bit better. And if I don’t do it now, it will be too late because I’m already 24.
Thank you if you read my long story and thank you if you will answer me. I needed to ask the tumblr scoliosis community because I had nobody to vent with. Thank you scoliosis friends!! We’re all so damn strong ❤️ Here’s my back by the way and I hate it very much.
