#seijistopit

[blastienom]

I got 2 posts flagged as sensitive and im laughing cuz they are not at all hahaha tumblr please. Also just saying im pretty much leaving this blog and my artblog too and passing to twitter. So if u wanna find me ill be there.

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[blastienom]

Oh hey, Im still alive. Just here to ramble about a past crush experience lmao. Also just a reminder that Im active on twitter ;)

So I had this small crush on this girl that did crossplay. She was pretty cool but I didnt really have the guts to talk to her so welp. Once I saw her in an event and bought some of my stuff and pretty much the moment was that she paid and stared at me for a bit longer, smiled and went to do her stuff….. and I think my heart might of just skipped a beat and boy, im so gay. Haha, then I reminded myself that she was married so hah, goodbye my crush lmao.

[blastienom]

Ah yes hello, im still alive but most of my time in twitter. Also im starting to draw again and possibly ill post again here.

[blastienom]

Im alive lmao

Oh hey Im back here for a bit. For those that dont know I had surgery last Tuesday and boy was it a rough week. Im better now with a bit of pain but now I gotta change how I eat and get back to my ideal weight. My family and friends have been supporting me a lot these days and I love them a lot for being there. 

[blastienom]

Oh hey just thoughts away for now.... cuz dunno it gets too crowded in my head sometimes.

Been thinking about how my family keeps talking to me about my future. Like well, it feels like im not doing enough and every time i confront them cuz well SURPRISE its gets tiring.... they just tell me they want the best for me.... grandma tells me that she would like to leave this world knowing im pretty set up in life. 

Dunno and just now I thought.... have they ever asked if im happy? have they ever talked about anything else besides work? I understand what I have to do, obviously i dont like at all my work situation cuz fuck, I really wanna do my own life and be independent already. 

Its funny how my situation has changed like in 1 year. 

A year ago I was busy working all day in the animation studio and welp didnt have much time for friends or family. My anxiety got not so badly like in uni but it was bothering me cuz I was feeling lonely and all of that. Talked this with my psychologist of that time and told me to be more involved in social stuff and yeah, more or less did that. (family didnt talk about work at this time and in a form it was peacedul) But now that I work from my house cuz its freelance and got more free time to hang out with friends and see my family more often.... it comes to this constant of knowing I gotta find a better job... or even find something else to do ..... cuz apparently Im doing NOTHING. 

Oh, and also I have talked about how I feel with grandma about this daily talk.

She wont understand... even if I repeat and explain it so many times. For her, she isnt doing anything bad. Nah, its ok. Let my brain start overthinking and go back to an episode of anxiety cuz YEAH, you feel that you are not doing anything bad and its for my own good. 

So yeah, my rambling of the day. Im feeling pretty alright really cuz my friends are like my lifesaver in this vast ocean that Im afraid to drown someday. 

Its a good day today even with these thoughts.

No dark thoughts today either.

Its quite alright :)

[blastienom]

My day today? welp, I got a really painful stomachache cuz of eating too much candy.... ended up wanting to puke even when in the morning i had nothing in my stomach and boy did it hurt. My skin got all sensitive too and and I was a mess all morning, tearing up every time my stomach growled like a mad man. Passed the whole time in bed listening to music cuz i also had a headache and my eyes felt all sensitive adgfdgfdhgf in all wow after being having a cold for a week, dealing with a sore throat after AND with bites of some kind of insect that made my legs itch like hell.... ended up with a stomachache.... I wonder what else is going to happen next asfdgdgfd

[blastienom]

Sometimes Im hit with the oh so feeling of wanting to be in love, and get all mushy inside and disgustingly romantic. Also thought about what type of people I have dated... and I guess so far is a patron(?) lol. At the same time wanting to fall in love is quite scary, yeah its a nice feeling and all but eh my heart is too stubborn cuz of heartbreaks and refuses to do shit. 

[blastienom]

Just a reminder here that Im usually more active in my twitter 

(•̀♡•́)ง

I usually post sketches, talk about feelings and sin sometimes~