sirius was never one for slowing down and stopping. ever since he was young, he was g o g o g o. he could never stop to take a breath because of he did the amplitude of his home would crash in and he was no atlas. he could not hold up his world with his two bare arms, so instead he would run until he couldn’t run any more.
at seventeen sirius is so different. he runs and runs and runs away from his problems and the war and ignores it all by focusing on messing with the slytherins. he knows that the so called pranks are different from how they used to be. they are more dangerous and vile and sirius honestly does not give a damn.
he can’t stop and his friends know. they have quiet whispered conversations while sirius black is going faster and faster as he zips around the quidditch pitch on his broom. he cannot will not stop.
even with remus his brain is always always always running away. he and remus kiss and shag and laugh and then sirius is moving on to the next thing.
sirius is taking potions to keep him alive because he never sleeps. his friends know, because they eye him with worry as he leaves the dorm every night.
he is holding a bottle of firewhisky in one arm and a bottle of slogreen’s no-sleep in the other.
he is running and running because that is the only way he can pretend all his friends are safe and everything is okay and then one monday it all comes crashing down because mary macdonald is fucking dead.
she hadn’t shown up at school the previous week and they had just thought her family was keeping her safe and then a newspaper was dropped on their table by a crying fourth year and then lily and dorcas and remus and even james were all crying and sirius was scared.
he didn’t want to stop, he couldn’t stop so he ran and ran and ran and then he was sitting in front of dumbledore and telling him he had to do something to help.
the day after a group of gryffindors were squished together in dumbledores office as they heard the plan to win the fight. to win the war.
sirius was ready to fight and kill and maybe even die to win this war. he was going to run and run and run until he didn’t have to run anymore.
sirius wanted to keep running after he found the potters dead. he wanted to keep running after he found peter. he wanted to fucking flee and spend the rest of his life running with remus in hand when the aurors were filing in.
but sirius just didn’t have it in him to run any more.
