How soul-crushingly devastating was it when John found out Sherlock had a girlfriend
When you watch HLV, as soon as John realises it’s Janine stepping out of Sherlock’s bedroom it’s as if all hope drained his eyes. He’s absolutely desecrated at the fact a Sherlock now has a girlfriend.
Mind you, he’s the one who got married to a woman just before this. Hell, all those years he was the one going out practically every night and finding new ladies to date one by one. They were so meaningless he even forgot which one was which despite having differing physical attributes.
He should be happy that Sherlock finally could be happy for the same reason he is. But he isn’t.
He detests the idea of Sherlock being romantically involved with anyone. Sure, only two prominent examples being Irene and Janine as John has seen them for himself. You’ve all seen how he was with Irene- “You..... /flirted/ with Sherlock Holmes?” Even had to say his full name as he just couldn’t believe the possibility. John is a jealous man, that’s for sure.
He wants Sherlock all to himself.
He only went out for girlfriends for the sake of having girlfriends. A societal need, if you will, from having internalised homophobia. Now- and possibly even back then- he realised how little they all meant to him, he never focused on them- “Don’t make me compete with Sherlock Holmes,” not forgetting “You’ll do anything for him,”
All throughout, it was him doing the dating, “romance”. Never Sherlock- John knows this, so why now?
Sherlock having a girlfriend is such an intangible, absurd concept to John that he’s left in mental disarray at trying to find out why- why?- someone he knew for so long finally has a partner. The only reason Sherlock Holmes could have a partner is to use them and John was indeed right- Sherlock used Janine to get to Magnussen.
Janine was a farce. He realised that later. Relief.
But before that he was absolutely distraught.
The way his face dropped when he heard Sherlock and Janine- laughing!- in the bathroom.
The way he’s sat forward; tense, unnerved.
The classic John Watson smile of Pure Annoyance.
The little shake of his head in disbelief after Sherlock confirms his relationship.
The fact that he’s not even listening to Sherlock talk about Magnussen- he’s going through Hell rn.
THE FACT THAT SHERLOCK EMPHASISED ON MAGNUSSEN BEING THE CURATOR OF EVIL AND HE’D JUST “you have?” PLEASE the regret he’s feeling after losing his chance. He reasoned that he would still be around albeit marriage as always and things would be fine again, but it doesn’t happen that way this time. And he’s utterly defeated.
“You- you are in a relationship?” John buddy, I’m glad you’re sat down, if not it’d be carnage.
He thought Sherlock was the one who should be maturing and growing- throughout the series, Sherlock does do that (but at what cost?)- when really it was John who should’ve buried the homophobic lessons he’s grown up with and took his chance because /it doesn’t last forever/.
“Care to elaborate?” The wide angle shot after Sherlock speaks says it all. It hasn’t sunk in and it will never sink in.
AND THE POV SHOT WHERE IT BLURS SHERLOCK’S HAND IS ON JANINE’S HIPS AND IT SHOWS HIM CLEAR IN THE BACKGROUND LOOKING SO SMALL. AAAAAAGHGGH.
“But we should have you two over for dinner,” No more it being John and Sherlock- It’s John and Mary with Janine and Sherlock. No more just the two of them. He’s heartbroken, but he should be settled into married life by now, shouldn’t he? The danger addict decided no more and chose a normal way of life, but he’ll never be truly satisfied with that. He knows this and he’s haunted by it. But still, he thought he could have it both ways. Being Mary’s husband and simultaneously being on adventures with Sherlock. Worth a long shot.
But then Janine came along and his hope shattered.
HIS MOUTH ACTUALLY FALLING OPEN AND HIS EYES WIDENING WHEN SHERLOCK AND JANINE KISSED. I COULD WRITE A MILLION PAPERS ON THAT MOMENT.
“Dinner, Me and Mary coming around with wine... and sitting.” HE DOES NOT WANT THIS. HE HATES WHAT HE’S BECOME. HE WANTS OUT BUT HE KNOWS HE WILLINGLY TRAPPED HIMSELF IN THERE. AND FOR WHAT? TO KEEP UP THE STATUS QUO OF A WHITE PICKET FENCE HOUSE.
Then he realised Sherlock was becoming like him too, Janine was his way up there with John- becoming “normal”. Again, he should be happy.
But Sherlock Holmes isn’t supposed to be like that.
Tldr: John sees Sherlock has a girlfriend and he isn’t too happy about that. John felt like he actually lost Sherlock. Powerless. Absolutely devastated. And it was all his fault.
Hello, this is my first Sherlock discussion post and I am enthralled to write more. Replies, reblogs and sharing your own opinions etc are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading.
