#signed alan

[asvrai]

I remember what Rick looked like!! He was tall, had brown hair, and was human :) And you wore pajamas and had a broom. ~ Pockets

WELL. THAT HELPS.

AND- YOU KNOW WHAT? YEAH! APERTURE JANITORIAL UNIFORMS DID LOOK LIKE PAJAMAS.

[asvrai]

I'm kind of curious how you remember anything at all, Alan. Did the scientists do it on purpose, or was it an accident? - ✨

FROM WHAT THEY SAID WHEN I WOKE UP AND STARTED CURSIN’ AT ‘EM, ACCIDENT.

SEEMS THAT FOR THE OTHERS, THEY UH... MADE SURE TO ‘FIX’ THAT LITTLE MISTAKE.

[asvrai]

Mr Alan!!! And other person..??? -Tw1g

The man holding the barcode scanner is coming up behind another man. He’s talking to him already, as if he knows the other would be listening. “Al, you’ve got a fan club.”

“A what...?” The other man’s voice is quiet, but the kind of quiet that comes from being utterly exhausted. The bags under his eyes lend themselves to that theory.

“A fan club,” the first man repeats, and smiles. He gives the other a wink. “Always remember who’s president of that club though~.”

Seems you’ve found who you were looking for.

[asvrai]

Never give up, Never surrender! Someone's got to stop moral bottoming out, and that job does not have a minimum size requirement. - 🐟

KNOWING THAT WE’RE, APPARENTLY, SAFE DOWN HERE AND NO ONE DIED? I THINK FOR NOW THAT’S THE BEST TEAM MORALE IS GONNA GET. 

UNTIL SOME PEOPLE SIT DOWN AND TALK SOME THINGS OUT. BUT THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH FIRST.

[asvrai]

Alan... Alan, we remember too, now. Do... Do you remember us? Our first day? Us, you, Rick... ~ Pockets

UM SORRY LITTLE GUYS. STUFF’S HAZY. LIKE, I KNOW YOU WERE AROUND? DON’T THINK I HAD ANY SIGNIFICANT RUN-INS WITH YOU GUYS.

I’VE REMEMBERED SINCE THE MOMENT THEY TURNED ME ON, BUT IT’S STILL ONLY IMPORTANT STUFF. LIKE RICK.

[asvrai]

Egg?

Sounds kind of like one, but...

[Bubnick picks up the core, tilting it this way and that. The logic core shifts in his hands, moving its eye and various chassis pieces to one side to let Bubnick reach into the gearwork in its side.]

[Bubnick pulls out a... potato?]

Po-ta-to!

SEEING ALL THE POTATOES IN THE KITCHEN MUST’VE TRIGGERED... SOME REMAINS OF A MEMORY. ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM WANT TO KEEP ONE AROUND.

[asvrai]

It was nice meeting you two in the flesh! I'm gonna go say hi to Mary and see if we can find Kevin! ~ Pockets

“You shouldn’t bother her,” Alan admonishes. “She’s probably in an appointment. Patient confidentiality, can’t have f*ckin’... bots bursting in for conversation. You would get that, right? If you’re security?”

Rick snaps his fingers, as though suddenly remembering something. “Go to the offices!” Alan stares at him in confusion, and he adds, “There’s a stiff up there, in accountin’ I think, who thinks of Ed as their rival? The fella bought some weird stuff, and I asked why, ‘n’ they said it was for a prank on ‘im. Maybe they messed with the potato order, if that’s still a mystery yer lookin’ to solve.”

[asvrai]

So, uhhhh, is this the point when we said "Aw fuck, it's going worse"?

[The sound is just enough warning. Bubnick just barely avoids being hit on the head, but he grunts in pain as the metal sphere hits him on the back. It rolls, landing on its side, and it spins around in its casing as it continues to snarl and growl.]

I*FNBRXPRWKHUI*FNHULKRSHBRXGLHGLHGLH

... {Are you trying to fight me?}

[The core continues to twitch and spin around, causing it to roll, inch by inch, closer to Bubnick.]

{You realize you don’t have hands, right?}

[The snarling stops. The core stops moving.]

... i*fnlqvflhqwlvwvwrrndzdbpbkdqgvfdq'wkdyhvk*wlqdshuwxuh

[Bubnick sighs and picks up the core by the handles, following his coworkers out of Android Hell. The soft whirring of machinery in the bones of Aperture Science is a welcome change.]