#simple-scps

[simple-scps]

SCP-030: The Homunculus

This SCP is a small humanoid creature, measuring roughly 2.3 feet tall. Its biological mass is largely composed of clay found only in particular areas of England, and its eyes are solid blue, appearing like cut sapphires. This SCP is sentient and possesses knowledge and intellect roughly equivalent to a 17th-century academic; in order to preserve the SCP’s integrity, it is not allowed to view any modern scientific information nor fictional texts from after 1623 CE. SCP-030’s knowledge seems to stem from more than one universe, as it knows things that do not appear on any historical record. It speaks with an English accent that cannot be traced to any particular region.

The SCP regularly requests materials for personal research purposes. It is also light-controlled: if the room is darkened, the SCP falls into an inert, ‘death’-like state until the lights are turned back on, at which point it reanimates as if nothing had happened. It can remain in suspended animation for unlimited time with no ill effects and doesn’t seem to need to enter suspended animation to survive in the same way that humans need sleep to do the same.

TL;DR? A small little grey research person. Protect at all costs.

[simple-scps]

SCP-029: Daughter Of Shadows

This SCP takes the form of a pubescent girl of Asian descent. She displays extraordinary strength, speed, reflexes, and imperviousness to damage. Her skin colour is 80% melanin, with the remaining 20% completely devoid of colour to the point of albinism. She is also extremely physically aggressive, killing those who enter her containment unit (she prefers not to shed blood and will usually strangle them). Any men who come into contact with her can be bent to her will and she can make them do whatever she wants. There are a few groups of men labelled ‘followers’ who display such behaviour, and the SCP becomes distressed when these groups are terminated.

TL;DR? Keter class. This girl ain’t fuckin around.

[simple-scps]

SCP-Null

This SCP is a tumblr.com user by the name of simple-scps. They create condensed versions of foundation containment logs for viewer enjoyment. Despite their claims to be a perfectly normal person, they often disappear for days or months at a time without explanation, leading many to believe that simple-scps only exists partially in this universe. Simple-scps does not confirm or deny the truth of this statement.

TL;DR? Continue to monitor.

[simple-scps]

SCP-026: Afterschool Retention

This SCP is a three-story abandoned school building located in [REDACTED]. The inside of the building appears to be larger than the outside would allow. It demonstrates various spatial anomalies, including one not being able to reach the end of a hallway, the number of doors in a hallway being different each time they are counted, and the number of steps in a staircase changing each time they are climbed. The building is heavily covered in graffiti and the graffiti often changes/disappears. Occasionally, students are found asleep within the building. They cannot be woken while inside, and if removed from the building, they almost immediately wake up and then die. The contents of notebooks and documents brought into the building may also disappear and instead appears on the building’s walls.

TL;DR? Like the TARDIS… but weirder. And significantly less pleasant. And also a school. Why would you even go here?

[simple-scps]

SCP-024: Game Show of Death

This SCP is a large building situated in [REDACTED]. Upon entering the building, you are greeted by an anonymous announcer who believes you are here to play the game show that the building contains (the nature of the game varies, but is usually a large and rather fatal obstacle course). Contestants must play until only one is left (losing contestants ‘disappear’ and are never seen outside of SCP-024 again). The prize for the winning contestant varies. Previous prizes have included cash prizes, collectibles, cars, and even fully-paid holidays to vacation destinations.

TL;DR? May the odds ever be in your favor.

[simple-scps]

PSA

Hiya skippers! I hope you're all doing alright as that life isn't giving you any troubles (if it is, just come down to the foundation, we have class A amnestics to soothe all your worries away!). Just here to let you know that I'm not dead and that regular (by regular I mean perhaps not daily, but with some sort of frequency) service will resume on the 26th October, with SCP-026, that day also being my birthday! Stay safe, skippers, and don't forget to secure, contain, and protect!

[simple-scps]

SCP-018: Super Ball

A ball (baseball-sized). Its movements get exponentially more violent the more it bounces (I.e: it gains energy rather than losing energy as it impacts a surface by a multiple of roughly plus 200% per bounce), eventually reaching velocities which allow it to smash through concrete and prove lethal to nearby living organisms. TL;DR? Too bouncy 4 U

[simple-scps]

SCP-022: The Morgue

A morgue in the basement of an abandoned hospital. Randomly, a drawer in the morgue will open and slide out a corpse covered by a sheet (known as SCP-022-1). After about six minutes, the corpse will animate and attempt to rise and leave the morgue. The corpses posses super-human strength. Some corpses are too damaged or decomposed to rise from the table, in which case the drawer will slide back in again. Placing items/objects inside SCP-022 seems to have no effect on it: the items disappear and re-appear on the hospital floor above the morgue about 183 seconds later, partially or completely destroyed. 

Instances of SCP-022-1 with functioning mouths are able to communicate, and it appears their consciousnesses and bodies are not related. For example, one instance stated that it was driving its car and then crashed, and woke up in the morgue, although the body it occupied was not its own.

TL;DR? Drawers and bodies. Just drawers and bodies, and zombies.