#singlemomdating

[artaylorsblog]

Dating The Single Mom

She's fragile when you break through. She has walls for a reason. She knows she's fragile. She looks so strong that's what attracts you to her. Her strength, confidence and Independence are sexy. Her sense of humor catches you off-guard and you find it refreshing. It takes a while to break through sometimes. You know her walls are put in place because of past upsets. Though, if you try hard enough you can get through. The challenge excites you. She seems different than anyone else. She makes you happy because you slowly make progress with her and you see the walls coming down. Everytime you see a wall come down you get a feeling of accomplishment. The progress being made brings her happiness and she feels special because you take the time. What will be left when the walls all fall down? Are you progressing with her? When you take on this challenge to expose the raw unguarded single mom, what then?

[coachreneelove]

Finding Love as A Single Mom

Finding Love as A Single Mom

     You might be a single parent dealing with lost love and asking yourself if you will find love again, all while trying to juggle the many challenges that a single-parent household faces, but through it all, you are trying to make the pieces of your life fit together. Of course, your primary focus as a single mom is to ensure your kids’ health, safety, and well-being. But you cannot help but…

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[hotsinglemomvibes-blog]

First things first

Hey bitches, it’s me... 

This is my first entry, and I’m here to tell you that...

1. I’m “hot” (recent dibilitating discovery...more humble musings re. this, coming eventutally)

2.  I’m a single mom

3.  My vibe is in serious need of a makeover

So, something new is on the rise.  Apparently, my mentor has prescribed me 30 days of being on a “dating detox.”  I’m kind of excited, in this wierd way.  You see, just over a year ago, my boyfreind of 3 years left me and my son (that fucking asshole - - I miss him).

Right after that pussy of a “man” shady bounced, I dated this hot chick I had a crush on (for like, 7 years).  She looked good in person, and on paper - - real fucking good on paper.  We hung out for about 9 months.  Turns out, she was a selfish brat.  Hot single moms should NEVER date selfish brats. Need I say more?

It’s been about 3 months since I decided to block her from my life.  It was clear as day, when she screamed at me, and then hung up on me - - something I would have done in my teen years.  This bitch was in her god damn 40′s. Funny how I saw red flags the moment I first laid eyes on her, all those years ago.  Funny how I continued to ignore them, despite the fact that the red flags continued to multiply, funny how I stuck around, even though it started to feel like I had two kids.

#pussywhipped

So ya... three months later, and I’ve been dating ferociously... in practically all of my spare time.  Well... I wouldn’t really call it dating.  I shall call it... FILLING THE VOID.  I have been filling the void with a fury... threesomes, one night stands, sex with balding men who somehow make me feel special becuase they are “nice’ (ew... barf in my mouth gross), sex with old lovers, limp dicks, small dicks, medium dicks, and my prized lover (reluctantly referred to as my “obsession”)....he, who’s name I cannont say.  We’ll call him “James Bond.”  Or... filling the void “getting to know guys,” not sleeping with them, sharing the deepest parts of me far too soon, and then realizing that all they want... is to fuck ME. >sigh<

As I reflect on my trysts, I realize something that stands out.  I don’t want to be in a relationship... with ANYONE - - except for James Bond, but he is the most unavailable person that thas ever existed.  Did I mention that he has the best body parts out of them all?  I mean... most of them are like... good looking, but short, or decent looking but chubby with a large penis, or ugly, skinny fat, and balding, but good in bed.

James Bond - - he’s a god damn 10.  Incredible head of hair, 6′4, green eyes, big smile, muscles, classic style, amazing hands, nice feet, and... the most perfect penis I have seen in a VERY long time. >sigh<

Go figure...the one guy I’d be into is emotionally unavailable, and rarely availale for sex.  

I suppose this would be the perfect time for my dating detox.  Technically, the date is TBD... so I better get some shit out of my system, before I close the curtains... if ya know what I mean. #winkwink

[theemotionalexorcist]

But why?

Guess who texted me?!

Apparently in my drunken stupor, i left him a note telling him how much i liked him.

I don’t remember this at all... like at all! I’m still not even 💯 sure it was me who left him a note.. maybe someone else left him a love note?!?

Anyways he told me he’s depressed and needs to work on himself and he’s not sure what’s wrong with him... blah blah blah

Not Shit, Sherlock.

Anyways i just said “yeah... i DID like you. Let’s call it awash and go our separate ways. NBD”

[isurrender-natural]

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You know the rest... I have over compromised. Stop ignoring your feelings WOMAN! Back to the regular scheduled program. xLoveParanoid • • • • • • • • • • • #beyou #acceptmeforme #hewillfindme #desires #dontsettle #holdtight #singlemomdating #dating #emotionsincheck #romance #morethanafuck #ijs #fuckboysstayfromaroundme #icanttakeanymore #emotions #hadmeopen #love #hbogirls (at Van Nuys, California)

[kansasmomsls]

Tinder

Tinder… Oh, Tinder….

 So, I downloaded Tinder back onto my phone last night. It’s been a year and a half since I used it. Last time I used it, I started dating someone (for 7 months) that turned out to be a complete douche. But, I try not to hold things an ex did against new prospects…

 That being said, I’ve obviously had some sort of ‘success’ with Tinder, so I decided to give it another go. Within the first 12 hours, I had already received messages from about 5 guys. I know ahead of time that I will have to weed through the crappy guys out there. I have no preference on race or size, although I do favor the beefy men. Hey, I’m a big girl and I need a man that can handle all of me. I swipe right for all kinds of builds and types. Knowing that my brother uses the same app and has told me that he swipes right for every person on there and weeds them out later, has given me some skepticism in the reality of the matches I get on here. My bro is all about the hook up and I can’t even think about doing one night stands. It’s just not me. I don’t have it in me to just hit it and quit it. I’m a relationship girl. I need there to be more of a connection there. I take my matches with a grain of salt, and if they take the time to actually message me, then I will respond and see what’s up.

 I’ve been a member of many a variety of dating websites and apps throughout the years. I have had my ups and downs and can tell you which are my favorite and which ones really annoy me. There are assholes everywhere, but one thing that annoys me more than anything are men that go straight to sex talk. My most recent experience with this was today. One of the guys that was messaging me was no more than 5 responses back and forth of super small talk (mind you he never actually asks me anything personal or tries to get to know anything about me at all) before he says to me, “Are you a sexual person? If so what do you enjoy sexually?” What? I’m sorry… Call me crazy, but maybe you should find out my name before you inquire as to my favorite sexual position… Seriously? I can’t even with men like this. Needless to say, I stopped responding to him. Inquiries like that don’t even deserve a response. If I was to write back it would be rude and mean and I just don’t even want to get into that. Another thing that really pisses me off… dick pics. If any woman tells you they think a picture of a penis is hot or attractive in any way, they are lying. Penises are ugly. As are vaginas. I’m not sending you pics of my vagina, and you can keep pics of your member to yourself as well. Especially if you send a pic completely unsolicited. I didn’t ask you for it. We weren’t even on the conversation of it. And, WHAM, there’s his dick. No thank you. I’m far from a prude, and I am a sexual person, but that is left for the right time and place. If we get to know each other and our conversations eventually lead to a sexual topic, I will answer them openly and 110% honestly. I have no problem talking about sex and I am completely confident in my sexuality and my likes and dislikes. That’s not the issue. The issue is men who jump from “Hey” to “what color panties are you wearing?” Ugh!!!

 On the flip side, I’m already talking to some guys that are really taking the time to get to know me as a person. That’s important to me. I want to know that we have things in common and that we will be able to carry on an actual conversation. It also shows me early on if we are polar opposite and won’t have anything in common. I’m completely honest in my responses. I typically don’t even swipe right unless I have read through their profiles first. Catch my eye first and then catch my interest. I have noticed there are more men out there looking for something long term than I thought there would be. Or are they just writing that in their profiles to lure me in?? Who knows. Apparently I’m willing to take the risk.

 I really like that Tinder is free and that they allow you to message your matches at any time. Yes, you have to actually match with someone before you can contact them, but doesn’t that make sense? You don’t want to bother someone with your messages if they don’t even find you attractive, right? I like the idea, I just wish there weren’t so many sleezy men out there trying to get their rocks off or looking for a quick score. There are adult websites for that sort of inquiry. Yes, I’ve been a member of a couple of those as well. I know the difference. I understand that Tinder was originally built for hookups, but I am very up front about how I am not looking for a hook up. It’s brought me luck before, so I’m crossing my fingers for better luck this time. I will keep you updated.

[gentlemothering]

I want to go out on dates. I want someone to say “hey I really like you, let’s hang out”. Brings me flowers. Gives me lingering, full embracing, hugs that show me they care. Listen when I have lots of words. [Listen when I don’t.] Who talks about his day [or doesn’t]. Someone who is passionate about living and loving. Who is confident and self assured. Who tells me I’m beautiful [and never accuses me of dressing for another man]. Who would never, ever call me names or threaten me with physical harm. Who adores my independence and my weird introvert ways.

I just don’t even know how to put myself out there anymore. And I’m a mom, that’s a huge other element. And, I live in a tiny town. Ugh. 30-year-old problems.

[riributterfly88-blog]

SMS (single mom sterotype)

A question was brought to my attention, “why do single moms make themselves So hard to date?”, it was not asked directly to me but through a forum which I stumble across daily. And that’s not the exact wording of the question just how I have perceived it.

As a single mom reading this and hearing his explanations of why dating single moms is hard I began to wonder other men’s opinions on this subject. So I of course being foolish went to the google machine and asked the simple question why don’t men want single moms. It seems we are a sterotype and how unfortunate it is for the moms that work hard to be lumped into that category. I came across one blog (after reading multiple) and I think he nailed the harsh judgement of how men feel about single moms. http://shawnsjames.blogspot.ca/2012/08/why-real-men-avoid-single-mothers.html

He brought many good points of single moms, I feel that these points do not apply to who I am. The women he describes, probably from experience make single moms sound like a horrific selfish type of people. To the single moms that gave me this sterotype…. Thank you! No wait…..how dare you! You have ruined the dating game for me because I now come off as a women who thinks the world owes me and revolves around me, I come off as a money hungry manipulative weakling, and a dishonest baggage carrying ex loving single mom.

This is me as a single mom that is not out to change the mind set of men but to hopefully find a man that sees I am not that.

I am absolutely torn between two identities. The mom and the single woman. The mom is a loving and attentive person who cares about my son so much. The other is the single woman who wants to find love and a man. Dating a single mom is balancing act, not only for the man but for the mother as well. These two personalities often conflict with one another and that’s why I don’t bring my child into relationships until I know it is something serious, my child does not enter the relationship until the three- six month mark. i do this because I want a man to fully know me before he goes any further into this relationship. Once he knows me it is easier to except the fact I am a mom this is her son and they are a small family unit. I do this for my son so it decreases the men coming in and out of his life and allows him to form healthy attachment to the man who wants to stay. I am constantly finding balance between work and being a mother, adding a man into the the mix would be juggling act but since when was the circus not fun. Be patient while I adjust and when I expresses my emotions or feelings about dating as a mother the best thing you can do is listen. Never take it personally unless i am clearly saying or doing things to hurt or upset you. I am aware of how the situation is for you and I know it is a big adjustment.

One of the things expressed was the ex and women saying I don’t need a father for my kids they already have one. The most troubling hurdles for men to overcome when dating a single mom is the fact that the ex-husband or boyfriend may still be around, caring for his children. Trust me when I say, you have no reason to be jealous or worried about any kind of relationship developing if you are dating moms like me. I have been smart in raising my child about accepting new people and men into our lives. Although I am divorced the “dad” is not a stable in my sons life and not known as dad. The man that I marry next and opts to raising my son/ our kids will be known as dad. Many single moms often say they don’t want any more kids, but if the man loves you, you are denying him the chance to bare kids of his own if he does not yet have any.

Don’t bother with the games, I don’t want it, need it or like it. Trying to play the games with me end up backfiring when i decide you’re more trouble then you’re worth. I do end up playing the games though if the are started, if you like crazy bring em on. You don’t want to see crazy dont start the games. I am currently trying something new, when something upsets me don’t react to it on the spot. Write it down, at the end of the week if you are still upset about it and it is not crossed off the upset list then you may have an open discussion. Only once a week to decrease fighting. i imagine the sex after this conversation has played out to be amazing!

Your actions speak largely about who you are. Before I had child, a man’s choice of restaurant for a date would turn me on. But now it’s the sight of a man taking my garbage out that does the trick. Seriously. Help her out around the house, even if it’s late at night when you’re dropping her off after a date. Little things like that will earn you major, major brownie points. Don’t just say you care, prove it by stepping up and helping out around the house and in her life. I watc for things like this all the time. It says so much about a mans character.

I don’t need to be rescued there is tons I can do myself but tons I still need a man for. Many men are scared to date single moms because they imagine she will be clingy and want to settle down immediately. This is a myth. In reality, most men find dating single moms to be entirely refreshing because the single moms typically have no interest whatsoever in settling down with a man until they get to know him. And as far as wanting to be rescued… perhaps some of us feel that way, but most of us single moms are just fine with our man-free lives. In fact, your biggest challenge may be proving your worth!

A little tip when dating crazy…. Birth control makes normal women crazy and crazy women normal . Funny little hormones.