Charlie-centric Guapotrio drabble for @brainrot138am !!!!!
they requested the guys with two different lines and you'll see the one I chose, but don't fret, I'm probably going to write the other one too haha
This is less of a drabble at 900 words but oh well, thrice as many people = more words
enjoy! sorry for any lil errors, m sleepy
+++++
“I feel like everyone is miles away.”
“Charlie,” Roier deadpans, “You are literally squashing Cellbit right now, no?”
Charlie groans loudly, burrowing further into the little space between the loveseat and Cellbit. The feline hybrid chuckles, bright and rumbly as it vibrates Charlie’s arm, his chest, his head. He is not squashing the other, in fact, there isn’t enough squashing going on because Cellbit brought his notes with him into the living area of his castle and has been buried in them while Roier remains buried in lunch and finally, Charlie is buried in the couch. And Cellbit. Sue him, the cat is warm and while there’s fire all over the castle, it’s a weirdly cold flame that has his joints locking up. It’s awful. Cellbit isn’t because he’s warm but Charlie still hates him a little bit for the stupid, icy flames.
“That’s not what I meant, dude.”
He shivers involuntarily at the sensation, the bitter chill freezing his limbs when it shouldn’t, and Cellbit makings a questioning mrrrp, reaching a hand down to bury it in Charlie’s hair. He can’t help the pleased hum that teeters into a chittering rumble when claws drag careful lines along his scalp. Cellbit purrs in kind as he tries speaking, words slurring but clear as day, “What is it, chayote? Meu chuchu?” Charlie knows exactly what he’s being called. It’s as insulting as it is really fucking sappy, ugh.
“You both suck, no sympathy for me, a li lol slime stuck in Eggxile and away from his…” Charlie isn’t sure how to finish that sentence actually. He’s not sure what they are but it definitely isn’t friendly, but the other two are married, and Charlie is just kind of… hanging around. There is also a lot of kissing involved. It’s complicated, sure let's say that, “—guys, his dudes. Alone.”
Cellbit laughs and abandons his notes, finally sinking into the loveseat so Charlie isn’t just cuddling his leg like it’s some muscly teddy bear. No, now they’re cuddling for real, legit-ly. Cellbit pushes Charlie into the back of his loveseat like he’s trying to make Charlie become one with it or let himself become one with Charlie, arms wrapped around him in a suffocating embrace. That and the loud, engine-like purring are almost enough to make the slime literally melt, but he holds it together because he wants this right now, something solid and warm. Something sturdy. Something… sure.
“And whose fault is that, pendejo? Hm? Who put himself in Eggxile and won’t visit unless under force? I had to lie and say Cellbit and Richas had gotten sick and I needed help.” Roier steps out of the kitchen and into the space, footsteps growing soft as he hits the rug. Charlie can’t see him from where he’s curled into Cellbit, but he can hear how Roier is upset, masking his annoyance and frustration under playful insults. He wilts into Cellbit’s arms more, admittedly shying away from a look he knows the spider is giving him.
“Gaupito, se amable con el.” Cellbit mummers quietly as Charlie hides further in his embrace.
“S’rry,” He mumbles into Cellbit’s shoulder. The hybrid smells like dust and old books, graphite, and rubber. He also smells like Roier. He smells like them, a smell so intertwined with the couple that there’s no name for it, not notes that stand out, just— it’s them.
But not Charlie.
Roier sighs and Cellbit nips lightly at Charlie’s shoulder in reprimand, annoyance, scolding. He pats a hand to the feline’s back in a clumsy apology. For what? He isn’t sure exactly, but the other accepts it and goes back to holding Charlie close, a hand coming back up to rake through his hair again. The spider above them speaks while Charlie tries to not doze off.
“Move over, you two. Apparently, someone thinks they are all alone and I guess we have to fix it,” But nothing happens because Charlie is just so fucking sleepy and warm and cozy, and the only thing that could make this better is— “Okay, fine. Cellbo, help me move the verdura to the bed, there’s more room there.”
Charlie snorts as he’s pulled from the loveseat and into Cellbit’s arms and still warmwarmwarmwam, “Was that a clever pun riffing off of Cell’s stupid nickname? Proud of you for doing it without gagging. I am rubbing off on you, man.”
He cracks an eye open to look at a blurry Roier, several sets of arms crossed stubbornly, but there’s a fond smirk lighting up his eyes. Fucking hell, why are they both so pretty. Charlie smiles back like it’ll convey his frustrations as Cellbit begins walking towards the bedroom.
“We rub off on each other a lot, man, but not that right now. Sleep. Also to prove a stupid point to a stupid slime.”
Charlie laughs and laughs and laughs the entire trip, Cellbit’s own chuckling buzzing his arm as Roier tries to remain unamused and failing miserably.
They prove their point very well.
A few hours later, after some much-needed sleep and aggressive cuddling, Cellbit wakes them both up with a gentle shake, confusion coloring his tone when he finally gets their attention.
“Uh Gaupito, weren’t you making lunch?”
Like an answer, Charlie’s stomach rumbles. Roier cackles tiredly, thumping his forehead against the back of the slime hybrid’s neck. “Yeah, I was.” It’s enough to set them all off again, rolling around in soft, worn sheets, laughing so hard someone starts crying and another gets the hiccups.
It’s fine. Lunch can wait a few more minutes, Charlie is already a part of a clingy sandwich anyway. With Cellbit at his front and Roier behind him, Charlie doesn’t feel as… far away. It’s not a long-term solution, but it’s enough right now. They’re enough.
Summary: While Marco, Tom, and Janna have a birthday bash in the Underworld, Star gets dragged into a standoff with an old foe on the surface. It's up to the Butterflies once more to defend the legacy Mewni will leave in the history books... or is it?
Comic Page
Masterpost
Out with a new chapter in record time, and more to come before Christmas! We plan to update either Sun-Fri-Tues on a 2 week cycle, or once per week if we’re particularly busy, so just keep an eye out. Something EXTRA special is lined up for next chapter courtesy of @ubercelloczar, still figuring out how best to include it but it’s going to be amazing. Hope you enjoy!
“...and the foul beast looked me right in the eye as I tore it limb from limb! It put up a spectacular fight, but it was no match in the end.”
Moon placed a hand on her husband’s arm and raised a stern eyebrow. “River, dear, we don’t need to hear the story of every meal you eat. I think it’s making Globgor uncomfortable.” Globgor raised a giant hand, waving it in a so-so motion, and Eclipsa rubbed his neck reassuringly.
“Really? But it was vegetarian! Ate it too quickly to know if it was chicken or turkey,” he quickly mumbled before resuming his usual boisterous shouting, “but it was fowl alright!” Moon could only sigh in response; some things would never change with him, but she supposed that was part of his charm. From their position on Globgor’s shoulder at his current size, she could see half the town at a glance. Though many Mewmans still went by the old names for the various smaller kingdoms, there was a general agreement to still call the whole merged area Echo Creek. She’d been against it until Marco pointed out that just calling the small area carved out by the seven kingdoms “Mewni” was as silly as the prospect of only labeling his modest town “Earth,” and she couldn’t argue that. Abandoning even the very name of the home she’d ruled for decades, and known for even longer, wasn’t her first solution, but perhaps it was fitting. As their destination came into focus, she was reminded that giving up the ways of old could be for the best.
The ruins of Butterfly Castle, untouched for the last year and a half, loomed before them. Globgor gave a signal and began to shrink, keeping his upper body large enough to support them until they were a safe distance from the ground. “Remind me to stretch before carrying three people again,” he said, huffing and puffing as he windmilled his arm.
Eclipsa giggled behind her hand and got on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Globby.”
“Yes, thank you,” Moon warmly added. “We got here just in time for-”
A stout, older man in a blue uniform sprinted over to the group with a form in hand. He stopped to catch his breath for long enough that the four of them all had time to look around at each other in confusion. “Saw ya comin’ from a mile away but ya went to the other side of this here castle from what I was expectin’,” he wheezed. “Is one of you Butterfly?”
“Yes,” all four answered, much to the dismay of the man.
Moon got a closer look at the badge on his chest which read, “Police”. Ah, so he’s with the city. “Is this about the renovation clearance?”
“Yes, ma’am,” the officer drawled.
“That would be me, then. Are you the one performing the inspection of the premises?”
He shook his head. “No, ma’am, I was called by the inspector because there seems to be a bit of a mixup. A real noggin-scratcher, let me tell you. I can show you, if you’ll all just follow me.” River leaned over to Globgor and whispered something in his ear that made both snicker. Moon rolled her eyes and elbowed both before leading the others behind the policeman; though she normally found their shenanigans charming, today of all days was not the right time for nonsense..
Ever since magic had been destroyed, Moon had spent far too many hours idly dwelling on the next step of her life without feeling like she was taking meaningful action. Almost a year ago, on the eve of the newly christened Christumpmasday - a dreadful portmanteau, Moon thought, but at least the Stump itself had been no more - Star and Marco had first made her consider the legacy she wanted for the Butterfly Kingdom. Queen Moon the Undaunted might have focused on projecting its strength and valor to the world, but she was just Moon Butterfly now, and she was well aware of how many flaws it had always had - some of them her own doing. The people of Earthni deserved to get to know the history of magic and the seven kingdoms as it truly was, and the castle she’d always called home seemed like the perfect place to do that. But if she was going to do things the right way this time, she needed to go through the proper channels, and that’s what brought them here today.
“So officer,” Globgor asked as they continued around the base of the castle, “what exactly is the issue here?”
“Well, I just got here a minute before I saw ya coming in so I only got to take a quick look, Mr…”
“We’re all Butterflies.”
“Ah, yes.” He slowed down briefly and spoke to River and Globgor directly, eyeing them curiously. “Pardon my prying, but I wouldn’t have thought you two were, how do I put this… related?”
“Oh, heavens, no,” Eclipsa chuckled. “Moon and I are, um… well, it’s still quite complicated, but we’re the related ones. Our husbands took our names.” It took a moment to click why anything would’ve seemed odd, but Moon did recall hearing about Earth’s marriage customs (though they still felt foreign to her).
The officer scratched his head with both eyebrows raised. “Gosh, Mewni was like that? That’s awfully neat. Can’t go a day around this here town anymore without learning something new. Anywho, some lady showed up hootin’ and hollerin’ to the heavens about how whatever plans ya had for this place were a sham, I think, and she stormed past the inspector to keep anyone from entering. Made a real big fuss over it. We’ll see what we can do but I’m afraid I can’t let ya onto the premises if it puts you in any danger.”
“The inspector said this afternoon was the only opening she had for months,” Moon muttered, aghast.
“Awfully sorry, just doing my job, ma’am.” When their destination came into view, Moon spotted a woman with a hard hat and orange vest among the gawking crowd- the inspector, she recalled from her previous meetings. Though the expressions among those gathered varied from amused to unsettled, all pointed in the clear direction of the entryway to the castle.
“Who would even want to cause such a kerfuffle around this?” River asked, echoing Moon’s own thoughts. They’d kept it quiet, hadn’t they? Though her expertise in Earth government was limited, she was fairly certain this sort of thing wasn’t public. No one outside of the city officials they’d made contact with should have known… she’d simply submitted a letter with some information and set up an appointment with the receptionist, who surprisingly enough had turned out to be Manfred. Wait, when she’d last seen Manfred… Everything clicked in her mind just a moment before they came face to face with the answer to her unspoken question.
“Well, well, well... we meet again, monster smoocher.”
***
The telltale whoosh of the flame column signalled to Star that she had arrived at her destination. Hopping out of the carriage, she rounded the corner and bounded towards the front door of the Diaz house. She hadn’t thought Tom would be so into event planning, but Marco was going to love it. Even though they’d gotten into a nice rhythm managing work and school and free time with friends, a relaxing day off was just what the doctor ordered.
She was so distracted she didn’t even realize her foot was colliding with the door, kicking it open and revealing the Diaz living room. Marco was lounging on the couch in his hoodie and a pair of shorts; his only reaction to her sudden entrance was to nonchalantly move the TV remote and soda can out of the way, barely in time to catch her when she pounced on top of him.
“You’re getting better at that,” Star commented, propping herself up on her elbows to look Marco in the eye and bop his nose with hers.
“Have to be if I don’t want to have to scrub juice out of the couch all the time,” he retorted, rolling his eyes and pecking her on the lips. His fingers idly twirled her hair as she settled down into their usual couch cuddling position, her head resting on his chest. Happy, sad, angry, lonely… there was no situation that couldn’t be improved by a Marco hug. She sank into the warmth of his embrace and let the stress wash off of her for a few moments, sighing softly. “So, everything go OK with Janna?”
“Wha?” Pegasus feathers, Butterfly, did he find out?
“You said you were helping Janna with something?”
Right, that’s what she’d told him. “Yes, Janna! Totally, totally, totally… just helping Janna Banana with... girl stuff. And Janna stuff. You wouldn’t get it.”
“Not sure I’d want to.”
Having sufficiently recharged her snuggle battery, she hopped off the couch and bounced in place with excitement, helping him up as well. “Enough of that. You ready for one of the best days of the year?”
“Underworld Beach Day!” They both shouted.
Marco pounded a fist into his other hand with a determined grin on his face. “We’ve gotta find the Skellies for that volleyball rematch after last year. I know we can take them this time.”
“Yeah, Skellies…” She nodded along with a sly smile, knowing the true plans for today would be that much better.
“Let me get my sunblock.”
“It’s underground, Marco!”
“The lava glow can still mess with my pores!” he whined before disappearing into the kitchen.
Looking out the front door, she discreetly motioned over the skeleton horse that was barely visible through the bushes. Nothing was going to ruin this surprise! Poking her head back into the house and checking to make sure she hadn’t been found out, she called out in Marco’s direction. “Oh hey, the carriage is already here! It’s so convenient, we probably just shouldn’t question it at all! C’mon Marco!” She turned back around and took one step out the door, immediately bumping into someone with enough force to send her onto her butt. Star shook her head and took the offered hand to stand up, finally seeing who it was. “Hi Mom! How are yo-”
“Star, could I borrow you for a short while?”
“What? Mom, nooooo, it’s Marco’s birthday.... tomorrow, which is why we’re just having a totally normal day at the beach today!” Star shouted, aiming her voice back into the house for Marco’s benefit since her mom already knew about the secret surprise party plans.
“I’m terribly sorry, sweetie… this is rather important. It shouldn’t take too long, I hope.” Underneath the apologetic smile was a serious tone that made Star hesitate before protesting further. A normal Mom worry was more like “Star, don’t try to stack warnicorns” or “River, you’ll get sick if you eat that entire mewffalo” and she’d heard it enough times before to know it instantly, but this was something else entirely. It reminded her of how Tom had spoken earlier, which only concerned her more. Maybe Janna had been onto something earlier, which meant maybe this was something important… Yeah, guess I’m doing this. Still though, there wasn’t much they couldn’t accomplish quickly if they put their minds to it, so maybe it could be a quick and easy thing, and they could still have a blast at Marco’s party. When she’d finally gotten the experience of a birthday all to herself after years of dealing with the Stump, she’d immediately resolved to never again let a friend miss their own birthday fun. Never mind that it wasn’t his actual birthday yet, dangit, no errand was going to derail the super special surprise party for her Marco!
As if on cue, Marco emerged from the kitchen with a pack full of supplies. “Alright, Star, I’m- oh, hey, Moon.”
“Marco, you should get going to the beach… Tom’s waiting for you. I mean… probably. Why else would the carriage be here? Mom just needs me to help with an errand for a teeeeensy bit. Peasy squeezy, breezy wheezy!” Her eye twitched. Great job, Star, totally sold it!
“Oooooookay, then.” Marco raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “Let me know if you need any help, you know I don’t mind.”
“Pssssht, naaaaaaaw. Ain’t nothin’ two Butterflies can’t handle.”
“Alright, see you there,” he said, pecking her on the cheek on his way out the door. He smiled and waved goodbye before the carriage whooshed into the ground.
Globgor lifted Star up to his shoulder to sit next to her mother. The cool fall air rippled through Star’s hair as they ascended above the buildings around them; Globgor only got this big for travel when they needed to be somewhere fast. “Alright, spill. What’s going on?”
Moon sighed and folded her hands together, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “Well, you see, Star... I know you and I have had our differences when it comes to our former kingdom. I’ve spent a lot of time the past year reflecting on its ways, its history, and especially its legacy. Time and time again, we- I repeated the mistakes of our ancestors, and the people of Earthni deserve to know the full story.” She unfurled a thick document from her satchel and handed it to Star, who immediately began skimming the pages. Wait, what was she doing with-
“The old Butterfly Castle?”
“We’re beginning restoration efforts soon to turn it into a place where people can remember and learn. This was actually supposed to be a birthday gift of sorts for you.”
Star crossed her arms and arched her brow inquisitively. “Uh-huh... how exactly is this for me?”
“I want you to advise the project.” Star’s eyes widened in shock. After everything they’d been through, she was being dragged into a big Mewni project again? Any angry retorts were stifled when her mom rested a hand on Star’s own, keeping the other for balance on their precarious perch in the sky. “Star, dear, I know this isn’t the sort of thing you want to do anymore, and it doesn’t need your undivided commitment. I’m not asking as Queen, or even as your mother. Time and time again you’ve displayed wisdom pertaining to these matters well beyond your years, and I shouldn’t- I can’t turn it into a place where anyone can see our history, our people, and all our flaws and strengths for what they truly were without the help of someone who could already do that for herself long before I could.”
Both fell silent for a few moments, deep in thought. The motherly pride and respect warmed Star’s heart immensely, and though it felt weird to think about, she was proud of her mother as well. But… was this the sort of legacy Star Butterfly wanted to leave behind? Hadn’t all of her last efforts on Mewni been to cast aside the undeserved authority her family had? It was certainly a noble aim, but something about it still bothered her. “I’ll… I’ll have to think about it.”
The warmth in the smile Star received proved beyond any doubt that there was no lingering trace of Queen Moon in her solicitation. “I understand.”
“Sooooo what’s the deal with all this, then?” Star flailed her hands wildly in their general direction of travel.
“Our initial construction plans were scheduled to be approved today, but then there was… an unfortunate incident. Mina has returned.”
Star felt her eyes try to bulge the whole way out of her head, as if forced out by her brain exploding at this reveal. “The Mina? Mewman soldier Mina? Evil push-all-monsters-off-a-cliff Mina? Cuckoo-bananas bathe-in-mud Mina? What the heck are we taking any time talking for, then? The whole town could be in danger!”
“No, Star, it’s not- well, yes, it is, but she has no powers. She’s just a regular person who is slightly, as you said, ‘cuckoo-bananas’, though I don’t recall any mud involved. Before we arrived, she had broken into the castle ruins and is now holding it hostage. Manfred might be involved, as well. You’re the only one who might be able to talk some sense into her, or at least figure out how to get her to leave. The city has given us until midnight to get the permit.”
Midnight? But that’s when the Soulrise was… Star had a sinking feeling that this day wasn’t going to be a short one, but this mattered too much to her mother to say no. “I can try,” she said, squeezing her mom’s hand.
Globgor began to shrink as they approached their destination, where she could see Eclipsa’s billowing purple dress and her dad sporting an uncharacteristically formal outfit - heck, they must have really planned for this if he was wearing a shirt and pants at all. She shivered a bit as her feet touched the ground; of all the superhuman genes the Johansens seemed to possess, immunity to the cold just had to be the one she didn’t inherit.
“Thank goodness you’re here, Star,” Eclipsa said gratefully. “It’s far too chilly out today. Mina won’t hear a word from me, I’m afraid… perhaps she’ll listen to you.” She pointed up towards a jagged shard of a ruined wall where Star saw the telltale purple braids.
“Mina!” Star shouted.
“Oh look, it’s my traitorous ex-mud-sister. Back for another round with little old me? I can still take ya any day of the week, you know!” Mina rocked back and forth, still clinging to a stone outcropping. There was no way that was comfortable in the slightest. Did she even feel pain?
“I just want to talk! I’m coming up there!”
Star took one step forward before Mina shrieked. “Bup bup bup! This here castle is for real Mewman patriots only! I got nothin’ to say to you. You can talk to my associate.”
A snobbish man stepped out from the ground-level entryway quickly enough to suggest he’d been waiting there. With his sharp black suit and slicked back hair, it took all the Butterflies only a moment to realize who it was, and they all groaned at the realization. “At your service, m’ladies,” he said sarcastically. Star hadn’t particularly missed Manfred’s snooty meddling in her day to day life, and it wasn’t any more welcomed now. “I will deliver a message to Ms. Loveberry if you so wish, as long as it’s not from the brutish monster.”
Only two minutes into this debacle and Star felt her patience run out entirely. She might have been sardonically impressed if she wasn’t already over this entire affair. “No, I’m going up there.”
River poked her shoulder and leaned in, his eyes narrowing and darting back and forth. “Actually, I wouldn’t mind asking - has she seen the stash of jelly tarts I left in a cupboard years ago?” Star rolled her eyes and walked forward despite Manfred’s protests, with Moon and Eclipsa not far behind. “Alright, nevermind sweetie! Go get ‘em!”
When Manfred tried to get in their way, Globgor stepped between them with his arms crossed, causing the feeble man to cower in overstated fear. “Oh, goodness me, help! The evil monster, he’s intimidating me to oppress my free spee-” Out of the corner of her eye, Star noted no one in the crowd had stepped up to join Manfred or oppose their group, and it lifted her spirit the tiniest bit. Moon took the lead, navigating around all the rubble and climbing up to a safer portion of the wall more level with Mina’s position. So this is what’s left of it. Despite everything, Star hadn’t checked out the castle at all in the years since it stopped being her home. It had been right there, ready for her to make peace with at any time since the dimensions fused, but she just… hadn’t. Maybe it was guilt, maybe it was disdain, maybe it was just being so much happier with what she had now that there was no reason to look back. Narrowly dodging the shards of a broken bust, they continued forward towards the stairs. Seeing it all again, though, made Star think her mother had a point. Their kingdom’s history was full of vital lessons and cautionary tales, but how could the people of Earthni learn them from piles of rubble?
Though Manfred had switched to prim and proper Earth fashion, Mina clung to the remnants of the architecture in the same outfit as always, twirling the braids she’d often used as propellers. From the rips and tears, Star suspected it was literally the same outfit and shuddered. When Mina noticed their presence, she wheeled to face them.
“What do you even want, Mina?” Moon asked. “What’s your game here?”
“Game? This ain’t no game, Moony. I’ve been alive and kicking for even longer than she has,” Mina jeered as she pointed at Eclipsa, “and I’ve spent my whole time fighting for Mewni and the Mewmans - real Mewmans - and I’m not about to let you make a mockery of everything that made our kingdom great.”
“There is no Mewni anymore!” Star huffed as she threw her hands in the air. “There hasn’t been for over a year! And it happened right after you lost!”
“Pfft, you had to give up everything just to keep me from obliterating every last one of you, and it got rid of all your little unicorn stampedes and rainbow blasts, too. Do you think I’m scared of you now? I’d be more worried about that little half-monster brat than whatever half-baked excuse for queens you all are, and she’s not even here!” A giggle erupted down below. Eclipsa scurried over and peeked, gasping as she reached over the edge of the wall and pulled up… Meteora? How had she-
“She must have been nesting in my beard!” River’s voice boomed from the ground below.
The baby cooed at her mother but got a glimpse at the fuming Mina and frowned. “Bad!” She shouted. “Badbadbadbadbad!” Eclipsa struggled to keep her secure in her arms but ultimately won out, lulling the child back to calm.
Mina took the opportunity to hop across a few footholds closer to the tower, still acting dominant and in control. “So you have the little snot now, big whoop! I’ve got an army again, too!” She backed off and ducked behind a pillar in the courtyard. Moments later, they were greeted by… a carefully decorated sock on her hand?
“Mina’s right, monsters are bad!” it said in Mina’s obvious attempt at a deep man’s voice. A second sock joined it, adorned with grass for hair. “Yes,” it chimed in with a high-pitched effeminate cadence, “I can’t stand living in this world with all these lazy monsters hogging stuff from the hard-working people that deserve it!” Confusingly, a third popped in. “And I’m terribly frightened of what they might do to my children!”
“Say what you will, but she is quite talented at puppetry. I didn’t know toes could wiggle quite like that,” Eclipsa snickered from over Star’s shoulder. If she wasn’t just so incredibly done with all of this already, Star might have laughed along - it was becoming increasingly clear how little of a threat Mina posed.
A second later, Mina popped back out and stood before them, visibly missing the sock on her left foot. “See, everyone is saying it!”
Moon buried her face in her hands out of frustration and dragged them down with enough force that her features momentarily sagged. “I don’t have time for these charades, Mina. Your childish tomfoolery ends now. The people of Earthni deserve to see this place and its history that actually existed, not whatever made up fantasy land you’ve concocted in your mind.”
“Hmmph, you do-gooders aren’t gonna budge, eh? Well, you know what, maybe I will let you rebuild this castle. That’d be swell, it was a beautiful place, alright. But Mewni was meant for Mewmans, so if you want to take that and turn it into some big dumb monument to monsters, you’ll have to go through me, and I don’t give up easy, and I ain’t leavin. Wonder how many folks are gonna want to come ‘round when Mina jumps out at em and bops them in the schnozz?”
Eclipsa stepped forward, still rocking Meteora gently back and forth to keep her at bay through all the commotion. “Stand down. The world’s changed, Mina. It doesn’t need any more of this lunacy. Wouldn’t you rather simply live out your life and find happiness?”
“Ha! As if! Seems a lot of people have fallen for your fabricated Mewni malarkey, but not me! I won’t put up with your fake Mews! If you want to stop me, you’ll have to catch meeee!” She rocketed off into the castle. The Butterflies glanced into the corridors in disbelief at just how pointless this all was, but Mina had vanished.
Star folded her arms and curled up into herself a bit as she started to walk away, but felt her mother’s hand pat and squeeze her shoulder sympathetically. “Sorry, dear…”
“Go get Dad and Globgor,” she responded exasperatedly, ignoring her mother’s apology. She knew that there were honest good intentions here, and she did want to at least get Mina out of their hair, but she couldn’t help but be a bit grumpy at the situation she’d been dragged into. “Let’s find her.”
The family, along with a few of the officers who’d shown up, went their separate ways looking for the former kingdom’s final foe. Sunset had come and gone while they searched to no avail and Star found herself slowing down and thinking about her friends and the fun they were probably having. Trying to stave off the mopiness, she idly scrolled through the Marco album on her phone while she searched, her eyes spending equal amounts of time roving the dusty remains of the castle and fondly gazing at the smiles and joy on her friends’ faces. And maybe a bit of ogling Marco’s cute butt in those swim trunks; it never failed to do funny things to her. The most recent picture Janna had sent her as part of their weird tradition was instead centered on Tom trying (and failing) to sneak a pained look at Janna, and had an attached message corroborating the vibe from earlier. So it’s not just me that thinks he was acting really dodgy about something.
A moment later, her Space Unicorn tone - one that was reserved for Marco - went off. Before she’d even finished reading the first text, it played a second time.
“Hey, how’s your thingy with Moon going? We’re missing you here! Let me know when you’re done, we saved half the cake for you. ♥”
“Also, let me know if you need me for anything, I’m here for you.”
Ugh, Marco, why do you have to be so dang sweet and caring? Another set of eyes could maybe help, and she wouldn’t mind having him around to ease the boredom at all, but Star wasn’t going to yank him out of his birthday party even if he’d go willingly. And admittedly she was curious what the deal was with Tom. Janna Banana was near and dear to her, but Star still would’ve been insane to rely exclusively on her if Tom needed a heart-to-heart.
After scanning the empty closet she’d wandered towards, she hastily punched in a message to Marco. “Mina’s back. Long story, not what you think, we’re fine here 👍. Kinda crazy tho. 😵 Will tell you later. 😈 acting a bit strange, stay and try to see why? 🤔 Also have fun, it’s your party!!!!🎊🥳🎉🎈 Hopefully will be done soon, would never miss 👻rise with you 💕💞💏 Love you 😘🥰😻”
With that out of the way, and a small smile returned to her face, she slid her phone into her purse and buckled down on the task at hand. Phone pictures of Marco and a fun birthday party were nice, but she had to get to work if she wanted any chance of the real thing. She nimbly hopped over the crumbled busts and assorted rusty parts of weapons and armor that covered most of the floors and stairways she encountered. Whatever her mom wanted to do here would require a ton of work, and Star could see why she was so eager to get started. Her explorations finally led her to a hallway that stopped her in her tracks. The tapestries of many of the former Queens of Mewni hung before her. Celena, Jushtin, her actual grandma, Comet… all had been torn nearly to shreds and reassembled. Her mom had mentioned what Mina had done here when they sat down not long after the Cleaving to share everything that had happened and make up - a conversation that lasted through more pots of tea than Star could count on her hands - but it was still jarring to see up close. Star slowly made her way to the end of the hallway and into the secret room, where- wasn’t Solaria’s portrait supposed to be here?
“Hyah!” Star was blinded and wrestled to the ground, all movement impeded by a thick canvas on top of her entire body. She was pushed sideways and had the fabric rolled around her like a tube constricting her arms. Pushing forward on her knees, she managed to wiggle the top of her head. Dangit, dangit, dangit. Suspicions confirmed: Mina had pounced on her with Solaria’s tapestry and a bit of help from Manfred. “Gotcha now! I’m slipperier than a slime snake!” Mina gloated, plopping down on top of Star and knocking the breath out of her. “Maybe they’ll take a hostage situation a bit more seriously, hehe!”
“Oh, my goodness, is the little ex-princess in trouble? ‘Tis an awful shame,” Manfred joined her, his voice dripping with gleeful sarcasm. “M’lady, we should abscond soon. The others should be arriving shortly.”
Mina patronizingly patted the top of Star’s head. “Aw nuts, I wanted to have a little bit more fun with my new caterpillar buddy! How’s it feel, Star? As long as I’ve still got eight fingers, eleven toes, and three beating lungs, this world ain’t gonna be taken over by ‘equality’ horsedoodie, you hear me? Monsters are scum, and the world would be a better place if they all took a nice long vacation to Off-a-Cliffsville.”
Star wanted to kick and punch and scream her lungs out. How many times can you ruin everything I care about? While flailing about, she tried to keep herself from grinning too obviously when she noticed a new arrival. She redoubled her efforts to cause a scene and keep the focus on herself so that Mina wouldn’t notice her real hope of escape crawling across the ceiling. Just need to distract… “You’re right, Mina, I can’t beat you. There aren’t any warriors like you.”
“Lookie here, Manny, she’s having a change of heart? What did I tell you? Glad to see someone’s finally letting the logical facts into her thick little noggin.”
“Yep, that’s exactly what I’m doing. But I do have a fun fact for you, though.”
“Oh?”
“There is a warrior a lot more adorable than you, with way sharper teeth.” Star looked above Mina and nodded, and by the time Mina followed her gaze it was too late. Meteora dive-bombed and lashed out, knocking Mina to the ground and forcing her to deal with a pawing, clawing toddler. Manfred cowered in the corner uselessly while Meteora continued to thrash about. The noise must have echoed throughout the castle, as she heard the search squad’s footsteps approaching the scene. Without the two bodies sitting on top of her, Star freed herself from her binding in a minute, by which point everyone else had arrived just in time to corner Mina. Globgor called out to Meteora and got her to back off, leaving behind a very battered and bruised Mina and an indignant Manfred.
Mina glared daggers at the crowd gathering around her, who all seemed a bit too concerned at her instability to make any sudden moves. “Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be with you mooks. Little old me just has a slight difference of opinion and this is how I’m treated? Don’t we live in a society? Instead I’m getting stomped on like a masochistic bushel of grapes!” Her beady green eyes darted frantically around the crowd, causing most to shrivel from the ferocity of her deranged gaze. Tense seconds went by before she finally softened up, gently smiling. “Y’know what, you win. If you want the castle so bad, it’s yours. Just gonna need a friendly barter in return…” The Butterflies all exchanged nervous glances. “You can have your little phony dream house here, but I get to enact my brand of Mewman justice on that ugly rock you monster-smoochers call a temple!”
Moon stepped forward to grab Mina’s arm but was narrowly dodged. “Mina, that’s enough. Everything you’ve said is preposterous, we won’t stand for it.”
“Bit too late on that one, Moony,” Mina taunted, wagging her finger back and forth. The subtle light from the moon and stars streaming through the jagged hole in the ceiling in the room suddenly faded, leaving them all with only the dim glow of the torches lining the walls. Overbearing squawking and flapping sounds, magnified by their echoes throughout the hallways around them, assaulted Star’s ears. She only barely caught the “Gotta fly!” Mina shouted as she was lifted up and out of the room. As the light streamed back in, Star finally saw the culprit: a massive murder of trained crows hauling her through the sky with alarming speed, presumably towards the Monster Temple.
“We have to stop her!” Star shouted, turning to run towards the castle entrance. She stopped when she realized the police officers present weren’t following. “Um, excuse me? A little help? That maniac is about to go destroy my family’s house!”
One of the officers, an older man she recognized from her time on Earth, wrung his hat in his hands. “Hmm, well, gosh, that sure is a pickle… Bit extreme, I’d say, but it’s always nice to see passion from young folks like yourselves. Both of you might have a point, so maybe you should just try sitting down and having a nice calm talk about it. Call us later if there’s still an issue, though!”
A scream erupted in Star’s throat, raw and animalistic. Stupid, stupid, useless! Leaving the officers behind, she and her equally flabbergasted family bolted back towards the exit to track Mina down. The dark bird cloud was still in sight when they exited the castle, nearly bowling over some onlookers and reporters who’d shifted their attention to the birds that had just swarmed out of the scene.
“She’s flying over a bunch of houses, I don’t think I can chase her directly,” Globgor said after growing to survey the distance Mina was covering.
“The Eagle Queen taught me how to speak bird, I’m sure I remember some of it.” River shouted, squatting down. “Now, Globgor, toss me!” Globgor picked River up and threw him in a straight line, enlarging his hand to add to the momentum of the throw. Star cringed as her dad soared through the sky. “Squa-squakah!” he hollered, his voice cracking. The birds parted, leaving a hole in their formation through which he promptly flew right through. “They don’t like me!” he hollered, his voice fading as he fell out of view. Daaaaaad.
“Well,” Moon said, taking a beat to sigh disappointedly, “I’m open to other suggestions.”
Star’s phone buzzed in her pocket; it was another of Janna’s kinda weird but somehow sweet candid Marco camera check-ins. Now’s not the time to tempt me with Marco abs!, she mentally groaned after opening the image. Wait, how is he surfing on LAVA? I know it’s the Underworld, but- Wait a second... Underworld, demon powers, carriage - they could get to the Temple right away!
Her eyes drifted towards the attached message: “ugh tom being super weird, stormed off. did he tell u anything? actually worried about him, haven’t seen him this bad since drama with u. rly dont know how 2 help, can i hang w/ u? dont drool over pic too hard lol” It stopped Star in her tracks for a moment: yes, the immediate situation was a crisis, but Janna being genuinely concerned? Now that was a cosmic anomaly. Star sent a response quickly checking in with the state of things (with an innocent inquiry about Marco abs - cut her some slack, she’s only Mewman) and passed along a message for Marco to stay and check in with Tom. Star was so angry at Mina and at the cops and at never being free of dealing with this freaking warnicorn manure that she wanted to karate chop an entire forest, and Tom and Marco didn’t need that messing up their days even more. But if Janna already needed an excuse to leave, well, Star wouldn’t complain.
“We can still beat them there, let’s not dally,” Eclipsa said, hopping on her husband’s shoulder. “Everyone, get on.” Once Star sent the relevant details and instructions, she followed her mother and off they went. As the minutes passed, Star remained silent while the others strategized, an atmosphere of helpless déjà vu permeating her spirit. Just like the first time facing down Mina, she knew she was just curling up and hiding, but she felt as if there was a seductively depressing whisper in her ear telling her that nothing had changed and that there was no hope of escaping the loony bigots trying to strongarm society. Even changing the world hadn’t been enough, and though she’d still seen growth on the whole, what did it say that the Minas of the world kept popping back up like a horrible game of whack-a-goblin?
Soon after, they finally arrived at Monstertown and dismounted. Eclipsa had at least been right about one thing: the ominous cloud flying in was still at least a minute or two away, though oddly there was no one else to be seen. Janna was supposedly here, according to a text received while Star had been lost in thought on the ride over, but that was the last anyone had heard from her. With seemingly nothing left to do, and not much of a plan, Globgor grew into a one man wall protecting the temple while everyone else readied to defend however they could.
Mina descended, keeping most of her birds circling above her. The defensive line of Butterflies swatted away any that got too cocky, but they were slowly being forced back. Star got knocked over into some mud and was helped up by Eclipsa, and scowled at the damage to her outfit she’d picked out for the beach. “Did the big ugly monsters run away all scared-like? Bah, I wanted to crush ‘em myself, but oh well, I can still have my fun. They’ll be all ‘Oh no, my big dumb mud hut’s gone! Where will I keep all the Mewman babies I want to eat?’” She cackled wildly, and it got on Star’s nerves even more than before. In the background, something peculiar glinted in the moonlight. Star squinted in an attempt to make it out, but she quickly realized what was actually happening when the surrounding area shimmered and revealed an upright chameleonoid monster. It had caught Star looking and used its tail to point at what Star now saw was one of Janna’s potion bottles before blending in once more. What effect it might have, she never knew, but help was help. Just have to distract. Again.
“Hey Mina!” Star yelled, diverting Mina’s attention from the wall of a home she was preparing to bash down. “I thought you were gonna tear down the Temple! Why be cruel to some random monsters’ houses? Aren’t you trying to protest your rights or something?”
Eclipsa turned in confusion. “Star, what-” Star shushed her and tried to indicate with a sharp glare that there was a plan in motion here.
The disgraced warrior tapped her chin for a moment before shrugging. “I kinda like both,” she stated matter-of-factly and wound up for another blow.
“Oh dear, Star,” Eclipsa whispered dramatically, clearly loud enough for anyone nearby to hear. “What are you doing? Don’t you realize all the monsters are probably huddled up in the temple right now?”
“Is that so? Huh, maybe you are useful for something after all. Get ready to kiss ‘em goodbye, then, since I know how much you love doing that.” Mina whistled sharply, gathering a cloud of concentrated feathery darkness around her. “Say goodnight to your mamas. Atta- ech,” she sputtered, wrapping her arms around her sides in a coughing fit. “Golly, monster musk must be getting to me. Now, attack, my pretties!” All the birds lazily circled around her for a moment before plummeting to the ground in a giant heap. “What the corn-” She stumbled and gagged a few more times, falling victim to the gas cloud that Star could now see billowing from the potion bottle, incapacitating all the birds that had inhaled it.
To her right, Star noticed a dirt-covered hatch in the ground pull back as a few unidentified creatures crawled out of it. Mina noticed too late and was tackled to the ground by someone from that group that seemed familiar... Penelope! Star’s face lit up in awe as she recognized the former Spiderbite princess, who held Mina down while she futilely thrashed. A monster with a glowing tail had joined them, which allowed Star to see Slime slink over and quickly slather some goop onto Mina’s arms and legs that bound her to the ground.
“You guys!” Star ran over and yanked the couple into a tight hug for a more-than-welcome reunion. “That was amazing!” The monster that Star just now dubbed Glowtail wrapped its tail around Mina’s mouth to cover up her attempted protests.
“Hey, Star. And Big G, and the other Butterflies,” Slime said, indicating the rest of her family. “Yeah, well, Penny’s totes great.” Slime wrapped an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders - well, it was more of him just wriggling his gelatinous form into her side. “She can wrestle spiders the size of a dog.”
“Hey, you’re the one that figured out how to make your slime do all that stuff, like glue people’s hands and feet down,” Penny lovingly said, kissing his cheek. Star hadn’t seen them in many months despite visiting Monstertown, often because Slime had been spending a lot of time living as a healer/celebrity in the Forest of Unlikely Spiderbites.
“Just gotta swallow some gum, wait a few minutes, and bam.” He clapped his hands together and stretched them apart to demonstrate how sticky they were. “There’s all kinds of stuff I can do to change it up.”
“Pineapple’s a lot of fun,” Penny mischievously added. Wasn’t there some sort of urban legend about that fruit on Earth? Wasn’t it supposed to… oh. Star’s face heated up when she drew the connection, enough that she was thankful when Mina screeched with an intensity sufficient to cut through their conversation, even with a fluffy tail still stuffed in her mouth.
Glowtail shuddered, running away, presumably to go wash the Mina spittle out of its tail. “Monsters can’t even fight me by themselves! Let me go, you nincompoops!”
“Mina-” Moon sternly grumbled.
“Look, L,” Slime casually interrupted, and though Moon was surprised she relinquished focus to him. “Working together is, like, pretty cool. We made these big community plans if anyone like you ever showed up again. That creepy human girl warned us, my super rad Mewman girlfriend took you down, and a bunch of other monsters made the plans for evac,” he stated as their chameleon friend nodded emphatically. A handful of other monsters lurked around them, presumably having been stationed elsewhere in the village and just now received the signal for it to be safe to check out the action.
“Mewni sucked when everyone was just snobby and mean anyway,” Penny added, giving her boyfriend a lopsided smile. “Everyone in my old kingdom was always covered in spiderbites but we’d just say ‘well at least we’re not those dirty monsters’, but that’s just dumb. Why live like that? Everyone here has been so welcoming, why can’t you?” Mina finally fell silent, hanging her head in what Star might have thought was shame if that didn’t seem so farfetched. “Ugh, it’s too late for this. I’ll go get the others so we can figure out what to do with her. Stay here and make sure she doesn’t go anywhere?” she said as she turned to Slime
He gave a thumbs up and sat down on the ground “You got it, babe.”
“Bye, Star! We should hang out more!”
“Yeah, bye, Penny!” Star waved before turning back towards Slime and a forlorn Mina. “So what now?”
Slime glanced around at the other gathered townsfolk who were calmly keeping watch, though a bit tired and disgruntled. “We’re fine here, if you’ve got somewhere to be. We’ve got stuff under control. Look, I can tell you’re worried, and I’m super grateful for everything you did for us, but things are pretty good now. Feels like we can finally just be, y’know? And we’re ready for any other losers that have a problem with it.”
“Yeah,” she simply responded, getting a bit lost in thought. “Well, see ya.”
“Thank you, to everyone,” Moon succinctly added before the Butterflies all began to walk back towards the entrance to the Monster Temple.
Star felt her eyes glistening at the heartfelt togetherness on display that night, but the feeling was far more than that. She realized her mom must have misinterpreted that though, as she was pulled into a fierce bear hug. “Star, dear, don’t cry… I’m sorry you had to miss the festivities you had planned-”
“No, Mom, it’s not that, it’s just…” Star paused as she struggled to put her emotions into words. “Don’t you get it? This; all of this? This is Mewni!” Her family all looked a bit puzzled. “The castle is still a really cool idea, but the people who have been living and working to build a home together - they’re the ones that have always known Mewni best.”
“What do we make of the hootenanny at the castle, then?” Her dad asked, fending off Meteora’s attempts to poke at his eyes and nose as he held her.
“If you want some of it to be a museum with queens and wars and stuff, that’s fine, and Mom’s the most thorough organizer I know… but I think you should be asking what everyone else from Mewni might want to see.”
Eclipsa affectionately ruffled Star’s hair - something that’s never failed to make Star squirm in happy embarrassment. “Quite the wisdom coming from someone insisting they aren’t wise,” she jested. Star jumped at a terrifyingly loud snore from behind them, where River, Globgor, and Meteora had apparently all curled up on the ground together and promptly fallen asleep - Star couldn’t help but yawn herself at the sight.
She could really just crawl into bed right now until Soulrise… hehe, sunrise, not Soulrise, silly…. oh crud. “How late is it? Don’t we still need to get the castle inspected?” she said, adrenaline giving way to a weighty exhaustion that threatened to knock her out where she stood.
“Perhaps I’ll hold off for some time longer until I’ve had some more input,” her mom mused, putting both hands on Star’s shoulders. “I’m so, so proud of you. I want you to know that, Star.”
“Aww, thanks, Mom. I… I don’t mind helping, but being in charge of this sort of thing… that’s not right for me.”
Moon pulled Star into a gentle hug, and was soon joined by Eclipsa. “I understand, dear. Now go have fun with Marco and get some rest. I believe I spotted Janna in an alley that way pouring something into a puddle.” Star rolled her eyes and wandered off in search of her friend.
Blink. Blink.
Wha… wazzat, where am I? Star blinked a few more times and wiggled her fingers and toes. Ew, sand. Wait, sand? She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and found herself on the beach, resting her cheek on drool-stained red fabric. “Marco?”
“Hey, Star.”
“OhnodidImissit?” she slurred, slumping further into his side. The fog gradually lifted on the details of the past hour - she’d made it to the Underworld and groggily regaled Marco with the story of her day, she could recall that much. She remembered him saying he’d missed her, though he hadn’t been upset, but the rest of the details had been lost as she drifted in and out of sleep.
He shook his head and squeezed her shoulder affectionately as he pointed up above them. Star had to squint when she tried to look up, and after her eyes had adjusted she gasped. Spirits shrieked and soared in and around each other as the Soulrise put on its magnificent display above them. Different souls mingling in harmony was always a special sight to behold… maybe she couldn’t know Earthni’s exact destiny, but those that could fully embrace and understand each other unconditionally had a bright future ahead of them. The thought made her smile dopily at Marco, wholly secure and content as she buried her head into his delightfully pillowy shoulder. “Happbirdaymurrco,” she whispered, finally surrendering herself to slumber.
