Smellotron Manual
Thank you for your purchase of the Smellotron Model 2, the latest in odor detection sensory wetware.
The Smellotron functions by attaching to parts of your brain directly through your nasal cavity and transmitting signals from scents within the environment. To install it on yourself, insert both cylinder nodes into your nostrils as deep as you can. Then, activate the device by pressing the two buttons on both nodes simultaneously.
You may experience a painful sensation when the device activates. Remain calm as this is a normal part of the installation process. Once the process is complete, you may test the device by smelling an object. If the device functions, you should be able to smell something regardless of your natural ability to smell.
After testing is complete, you may calibrate the intensity of select odors, ranging from 'fresh lemons' to 'wet old sock'.
IMPORTANT!
If you would like to uninstall the device, simply press the two buttons on the nodes simultaneously for 4 to 6 seconds, then gently remove them from your nostrils. If pain is experienced during uninstallation, please contact your nearest healthcare provider.
Please note that unlike the Model 1, the Model 2 has been confirmed to not cause cannibalistic urges. If you have previously used a Model 1 device, please seek a doctor's advice before using the Smellotron Model 2.