The first watch mess was arguing about gendered terms for asari when Junior Flight Officer Bo Huan showed up for what, for them, must be a very late night snack.
"I'm just saying," Kaur was (just) saying, "obviously the asari don't gender their words, so it seems like early translators made some big leaps with what we consider 'asari' terms."
Joker caught Huan's eye, held up a finger, and whispered, "Wait for it..."
They didn't have to wait long. With XO Nguyen's stern presence keeping everyone in line, Shepard was able to put her metaphorical feet up and join the fun — and she did relish telling people about being called an anthropocentric bag of dicks. She saw her opportunity as soon as Joker had, and Huan laughed in surprise at both the insult and Joker's apparent precognition.
When they'd stopped, they shook their head, grinning. "We do hang on to way too much gendered shit," they said.
"Well, you don't."
"Yes, but that's a lot of responsibility I have to carry for the rest of you."
"You wanna know some real historical shit?" Joker said. He leaned closer to Huan, grinning in anticipation, "That I will never say in front of Shepard?"
Huan looked a little leery, like this was either going to be good or they were going to have to entirely re-calibrate their idea of him as a person, and they weren't sure which, but they leaned in.
"Back, like, 200 years ago," Joker said, subtly indicating Shepard where she sat, smiling at her crew like a benevolent monarch, "They called the ship's captain the 'Old Man of the Boat.'"
Huan almost choked.
"I know!" Joker said, gleefully. "She'd kill me."
"Violence in the mess hall!" Huan said. "Pilot found stabbed with butter-knife."
"Oh, she has a better knife on her, bet your last credit, but it doesn't matter. She wouldn't even have to get up. It'd be the Death Glare, right from there." Joker squinted his eyes comically. "Boom, phhzzzzt! I wouldn't stand a chance." He rolled his eyes back and pantomimed his own demise.
Across the room, Shepard noticed his antics. Her forehead wrinkled, but she smiled bemusedly, glad they were enjoying themselves.