❛ no offense, but i think you might be just a little too crazy for me. ❜
horror-themed sentence starters || @inotheflower
He snorts so hard that he almost spits out his drink, taking in her judgmental stare from across the table of their regular barbecue haunt. She’s been acting like this for days now, so holier-than-thou that he wonders how she can function with her head that far up her own ass. Or maybe she’s just on the rag.
He can practically feel his mother’s hand smacking him across the back of the head for having such a misogynistic thought, but he’s tired. Tired of her sucking the fun out of everything just because she’s pissy or insecure, or whatever dumb thing hormonal women get upset over. Broken nails and lost tampons and the like… He’s pretty sure Yoshino would absolutely clock him for that one too.
“Says the girl whose mugshot is on every page of the DSM-5.” He carefully places a piece of raw meat onto the grill between them, glancing over at Choji’s neglected beverage, the third member of Team 10 so involved with his dinner that he’s seemingly oblivious to their conversation. Shikamaru pilfers the shot of sake, drops it into the glass tumbler of citrusy beer and swipes it off the table, draining it hastily and repressing a soft hiccup.
“Also, I’ve seen your type,” he quips, wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve, “crazy is only the half of it. There’s also aloof, emotionally unavailable…” Choji mutters something indiscernible through the poorly-masticated beef wadded into his cheek, never once lifting his gaze. A diabolical smile flashes across Shikamaru’s face as the single word registers. “Oh yes, and how could I forget?” He goads with juvenile amusement, “Gay.”
Her expression hardens, one of her aegean eyes twitching almost imperceptibly, a large, pulsating vein materializing on her forehead. Delighting in her inflamed countenance, he picks up a portion of cooked meat with his chopsticks, delicately positioning it on her plate, a chivalrous gesture to atone for his degenerate behavior. “No offense, but I think you might not be crazy enough for me.”









