The definitive and final ranking of seasons, from worst to best
DISCLAIMER: This is not “just my opinion”. It is based on evidence in the form of lists of pros and cons of the seasons. Anyone who calls it any form of opinion will be either keelhauled or fed to 682.
4. Fall.
Ugh. Fall can literally go burn in hell. Not only is the weather inconsistent and you’re either too hot or too cold, but leaf blowers drive you nuts, school starts again, pumpkin spice is actually gross, sweaters and scarves are in no way cute unless you’re a mannequin or model, and all the fun stuff is closed because it’s cold out. The only good part is Halloween and the pretty colours.
3. Spring.
No one is denying that spring is awesome. You get to finally play outside without getting frostbite, the flowers are pretty, baby animals are born, it’s warm but not so hot there’s sweat and bugs, there’s March break, and above all, EASTER. But with all that comes extreme rain, end-of-year exams, and allergies. March starts off crap, gets better... but in May when all the holidays in spring are over, all that’s left is rain, tests, allergies, and spring cleaning. Spring, we love you, but we still prefer...
2. Winter.
I know what you’re thinking. “But it’s so cold out, why is winter above spring?” Well, in winter, you get season-exclusive activities that you can’t do in spring, fall, or summer. Snowflakes are pretty, and even better when you pack them into a fort and ammunition for a snowball war. The real crowner is sledding, possibly the greatest winter activity EVER. You can skate too. Then afterwards, you can go inside and have hot chocolate with marshmallows, sprinkles, whipped cream, and cookie crumbs on top. Figure skating, bobsledding, skiing, etc. is on TV, plus hockey if you’re into that sort of thing. And Christmas! The best holiday is in winter, with the presents, songs, food, decorations, parties, and movies that come with it. Winter is almost the best, surpassed only by...
1. Summer.
No school. Water parks. Beach. Music festivals. Sleeping in. Summer fashion like flip-flops and sunglasses. Water fights. Ice cream. Longer days meaning more fun. Camp. Lemonade. Summer hit songs. All this and so much more. Literally the ONLY downside is the bugs, and they can be repelled with bug spray. You don’t have to worry about homework or classes and can spend all day at the pool, beach, fair, waterslides, summer camp, amusement park, and so many more places that are only open in summer. You can have ice cream, popsicles, snowcones, lemonade, and so many other summer-exclusive snacks. You don’t have to spend forever putting on hats, gloves, scarves, etc. before you leave the house, and can switch to sunglasses, fun T-shirts, and flip-flops that show off ankle bracelets. Not only that, but it’s not fucking cold all the time for a change! Winter and spring, we love you (not you fall) but nothing can compare to summer. The undisputed queen of seasons.
