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I’m also fucking pissed that Elmax got ZERO closure, I mean how tf would Max be that fine after losing her best friend??? It’s gonna forever hurt me to watch scenes of their friendship bc the outcome is literally heartbreaking.

#elmax #max mayfield #el hopper #jane hopper #byler #<<target audience #stranger things #st5 spoilers #st5 #st5 vol 1 #st5 vol 2 #st5 speculation #st5 leaks #st5 promo #st5 liveblog #st5 theory #anti mileven #anti milkvan #stranger things finale

okay. OKAY.

are mike and eleven already broken up?

let’s talk about it. let’s scream about it. let’s lose our minds about it in true tumblr fashion.

this is my clown-car main theory heading into ST5 vol. 2 and I’m standing by it like it’s the last Eggos in the freezer: mike and eleven are already broken up and the show is soft-launching it like Netflix is scared to see our reactions in 4K.

first of all: they spent FOUR WHOLE EPISODES washing that relationship out the window like mildew. like “oops! no more Mileven, sorry girl!”

they intentionally sidelined both of them. separated them. emotionally benched them. basically gave us a soft breakup but forgot to tell us.

and the math? THE MATH IS MATHING.

Exhibit A:

Mike & Eleven aren’t referenced as a couple until 47 minutes into episode 1. Forty. Seven. Minutes.

Season 4 opened with their love letter nonsense. Season 3 opened with them kissing. Season 2 opened with Mike calling Eleven on the walkie-talkie.

This season?

He barely remembers she exists until we’re halfway to the hour mark.

meanwhile we get Jonathan/Nancy, Joyce/Hopper, Robin/Vickie, Lucas/Max (EVEN THOUGH MAX IS UNCONSCIOUS LMFAOOO), and Mike/Will scene BEFORE Mileven even breathes in the same camera shot.

AND THAT HUG??

Mike “Makeout Monster” Wheeler—who used to smash his mouth into El’s face like a 8 years old girl playing with a pair of Barbie dolls—doesn’t even kiss her. Not even a forehead peck. NOTHING.

El grabs his face like she’s holding a grapefruit. which means NOTHING romantically because the girl was raised in a lab and learned physical affection from Hopper bonking her head affectionately like a cat. NOT a reliable romance gesture!!!

And i also want to point out that El literally hugged Will the same way!

then we get the roof scene.

they are sitting farther apart than divorced parents at Thanksgiving.

they talk about Dustin. And Hopper. And Will-as-a-feeling™.

not each other. not their relationship. not “when this is over let’s smooch so hard we create a portal.”

JUST. THE. GROUP.

and when Lucas calls them “lovebirds?”

they look more confused than I do when trying to explain the plot of this show to someone’s grandma.

like “lovebirds?? us?? doing WHAT??”

be serious.

and THEN???

Eleven disappears into the Upside Down and Mike reacts with the energy of a man whose DoorDash is running late.

Season 4 Mike would’ve been shaking, crying, throwing up, calling Argyle to borrow the van so he could go rescue her IMMEDIATELY.

Season 5 Mike? “oh no anyway.”

SIR. SIR??

Eleven doesn’t mention Mike AT ALL.

Mike mentions her twice.

TWO TIMES.

FOUR EPISODES.

this isn’t romance. this is coworkers who nod at each other in the hallway.

and THEN… THENNNN…

Will asks Robin what the signs of dating are.

HE WOULD NOT BE DOING THIS IF MIKE AND EL WERE STILL TOGETHER.

Will Byers is many things but a homewrecker he is NOT.

combine that with the fact that Mike and El literally have ZERO interactions past episode one and suddenly Will’s question feels a little like:

“hey soooo hypothetically if your best friend maybe got out of a relationship and maybe has been making heart-eyes at you for 18 months… what does THAT mean?”

NOW. HERE’S WHERE I STITCH THIS INTO THE “WILL IS THE CENTER OF VECNA’S DEMON CLOCK” THEORY:

if Mike & El are already broken up, THEN IT MAKES SENSE why:

— Mike is suddenly more emotionally available

— Will is suddenly more attuned to Mike

— Will’s role is shifting to the literal center of the supernatural plot

because the emotional arc is paralleling the supernatural one.

Vecna/Shadow Monster is out here building his evil 12-kid cosmic carousel and reserving the CENTER SEAT for Will like it’s the VIP table at Hell’s Cheesecake Factory.

Will is the prototype. Will is the vessel. Will is the power core.

AND MIKE??

Mike’s entire arc this season is circling around Will, not Eleven.

the narrative is LITERALLY rearranging these relationships to place Will at the emotional center at the SAME TIME Vecna is trying to place him at the physical center of his spooky 12-child clock of doom.

that is not an accident.

that is storytelling.

that is cinema.

so yes.

YES.

Mike and Eleven are already broken up.

Will knows.

Mike knows.

Eleven knows but isn’t saying anything because she’s too busy fighting extradimensional monsters.

the group doesn’t know yet.

WE will find out next volume.

and then? and THEN??

BYLER ENDGAME, BABY

because even Vecna said Will was the prototype.

and he was talking powers but also let’s be real: he meant romance too.