Summary: You, Steve, one campervan and a dream for the future. It all seems perfect until life decides it has other plans where you won't be able to give Steve what he's always wanted.
Tags/warnings: talk of that brood of Harringtons; angst with a side of it's all gonna be okay; mentions of pregnancy complications; new dad!Steve
Words: 1312 (more of a drabble, really)
A/N: I just want Steve to find the love he deserves, okay?! He thinks that's supposed to come from a giant family of his own. But what happens if that's not possible? Steve's got a big heart. It was an idea and I vomited it onto a document. Cheers! 😘
Fic below the cut or on AO3
“We’re broke!” You argue to Steve–your tone, however, would barely even work to convince yourself.
“I know, but we’re just not broke enough to afford this.” Steve’s index finger taps against thin paper right under the classified section. He’s grinning ear to ear, eyes sparkling like water on a sunny day.
A smile parts your lips, which matches the intensity of his. He can see the wheels turning in your mind. He knows that you’re thinking the exact same thing.
“I know it’s not the big one we dreamed about, but this campervan is literally the perfect size for us right now. And the price…I think we could swing it.”
Steve and you had been married for just under a year but had been sweethearts for much longer. Being with him made you feel whole, like he was a piece you never knew was missing. The two of you were trying to build a life and make it on your own. You both worked long hours and used the hard-earned cash to pay bills. Wedding money had even gone towards covering expenses rather than extras that could be enjoyed together. It was about time that you did something for yourselves, even if this hunk of junk would be the only thing to your name.
“Ok,” you finally say, watching Steve’s pupils grow wider. “Let’s do it!”
Steve only pauses his barrage of kisses long enough to dial the number in the paper and arrange to buy the used campervan.
The two of you planned a small camping trip almost right away. The vehicle allowed you and Steve to drive to a spot tucked away from life for a while. The dream of a Winnebago and a gaggle of children had always been something you shared. When you met Steve, you knew right away he would be the one. He had the biggest heart of anyone you had ever met: so much love to give despite how little of it he received growing up. It was only logical to think that one day the two of you would have a big family of your own to love and nurture. You wanted that future for yourself, but most importantly, you wanted to help Steve’s dreams come true, too.
“This was the best purchase we could have ever made.” You smile up at the stars twinkling overhead.
Steve reaches for your hand that lies between you on the checkered blanket. His fingers thread through yours, warm like the campfire that crackles nearby. “The best,” he agrees, turning his head to lovingly gaze at you.
You shift to peer back at him, a smile creasing your lips. “Someday, we’ll fill it with those little nuggets we’ve always talked about.”
Steve’s cheeks tint, rosy and brimming with affection. “Yeah?”
You bring your joined hands up to your lips, eyes never leaving his. “Yeah. A whole brood.”
A laugh ripples through the dark forest that surrounds you. Steve’s nose scrunches, and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “A whole brood,” he echoes before leaning over top you and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.
Nine months, several spare pennies saved, and a whole lot of happy tears later, you give birth to a healthy baby girl. Steve bawled more than the newborn, and promises of many camping trips were whispered to the infant as she lay in your arms.
Except, not long after your daughter was born, complications developed. The moments that followed were a blur of doctors and nurses, and Steve frantically asking them what was going on. The last thing you remember was him gripping your hand with a desperation you’ve never seen from him and a pleading voice saying, “I love you.”
When you woke up, your body ached, but it was the news you were given that caused the worst pain. Though your life was not in danger, your first child would be your last. It felt like the world was crumbling; the only thing keeping you from falling away was Steve’s hand intertwined with yours. Every dream you and Steve had for the future had been snatched away in the blink of an eye.
Your body tries to pull you into sleep, but the news you had been delivered keeps shaking you back awake.
Steve is by your hospital bed, gently rocking your daughter in his arms. He looks at her like she hung the moon, and your stomach twists, knowing that you’ll never be able to give him the big family he’s always longed for.
He must notice you stir and the sorrow that’s written across your features, because he looks up from the tiny bundle in his arms with furrowed brows and a heavy heart. “Are you okay, babe?”
Your throat thickens, and tears well up along your lashes.
“Hey, hey! What’s wrong?” His voice is a soothing whisper. He leans forward as much as he can without disturbing the little one's slumber.
You pinch your lips together, looking away ashamed. The IV line tugs at your hand while you drag it through your messy hair.
Seeing you become even more distraught, Steve pleads, “Look at me, please, baby. Tell me what’s wrong.”
So, you do. The tears can no longer be held back, and the salt stings your cheeks as they roll freely. “I – I can’t have children again.”
Steve’s face falls. If he wasn’t holding his daughter, he’d be wrapping his arms tightly around you. “I know, but it’s going to be okay. The doctors said you’re healthy, and that’s what matters.” His reassurance is delivered in good faith but still doesn’t soothe the guilt you feel.
“No, Steve,” you say a little firmer, locking onto his gaze. “I cannot have kids ever again.”
He nods at your words. “I know it’s upsetting and really tough to wrap your head around right now, but–”
“Steve,” you cut him off, voice shaky, afraid he’s just saying all this to put you at ease. Moisture now soaks into your hospital gown. The realization that you’ve ended Steve’s dream swallows you whole. “If I can’t have more children, you’ll never get to be a dad again. There’s no Winnebago-full! There’s no brood!”
Steve’s hazel eyes widen and his shoulders sag as the realization dawns on him. “No. Oh, baby, no!” Now tears rim his eyes. “Please don’t think like that. Look,” a hand comes up to carefully stroke back the dainty wisps of dark hair on your daughter’s head. Your gaze settles on the tiny girl in his arms. “See this?” he begins, lifting a small hand with his one finger. “Five perfect fingers,” his hand delicately moves down to your daughter’s little foot, “and five perfect toes.” Steve glances up at you. “She might never get to be a big sister, but she will never be alone. She’s got us,” he offers you a tender smile that dimples his cheeks. “And I got you. That’s more than I could ever ask for. More than I ever imagined was possible for me.”
The love held in Steve’s words washes over you, turning the sad tears into happy ones.
“Our little family is perfect just the way it is,” adds Steve as he places his lips to the infant’s forehead.
You reach out and caress your daughter’s tiny head before guiding your hand to Steve’s cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Steve turns and presses a kiss into your palm.
The rest of the evening unfolds with Steve regaling you with the different trips the three of you will take. How you’ll pack into the campervan and drive around the state. How he’ll teach her to fish after you teach him to. How she’ll chase frogs by the lake. And how you’ll get to see her grow up, with you on one side of her and Steve on the other, each holding a tiny hand to guide her with love through life.
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! ♡
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