I spend my time getting ready,
I wear the necklace my best friend gave me 5 years ago and do my eyeliner how my first love liked.
As I usually do, i find myself at dinner in the new restaurant,
he walks over with a confident stride,
his ashy-brown hair bounches with each step,
He looks through me with his river-green eyes.
"so, tell me about yourself " he demands.
as I begin reading the script in my mind that I have always used my mind begins to wander.
'I picture a small house in a rural seaside town, everyday I walk the beach with his hand in mine, we walk through the shallow water as he holds our shoes. We come home and he looks at me with his river-green eyes and sees how my sun bleached blonde hair sits after I've been to somewhere windy, how my cheeks get momentarily sun kissed everytime I visit a beach or how my toes and fingers are laced with sand now and will be for quite some time.'
I finish reading my script and ask him about himself although his hair is now jet black and parted in the middle,
his bright blue eyes make me yearn for the ocean,
his hands show that he does manual labor, his voice deeper now i notice,
"so, tell me about yourself" he asked as if left with no choice.
this time I think of something else as I repeat myself,
'I wondered if he sees everyone he has ever loved when he looks at a daffodil or dandelion, if he can feel his heart begin to rot as the word casual leaves the lips of the person he liked the most or how quickly I will be forgotten when he leaves this restaurant.'
when he stares into my eyes I always notice something,
the way his beard isn't all the same shade of brown,
how his short bleach blonde hair doesn't suit his face or how his long brown hair gets unkempt quickly
I remember every single one.
if everyone can experience 24 hours differently why are all of mine the same,
I often think of what tomorrow could hold,
but for now I do not know,
all i know for certain is that,
if love is not real then I could not exist so,
i find myself at dinner in the new restaurant...
