Sports and the Arts Don’t Mix...or Do They?
My daughter made it on to the 7th grade travel basketball team this season! I am so excited for her! I have loved watching her play. It is mesmerizing and so fast paced. As activities have started to conflict, however, I'm finding I am automatically cancelling or deferring her other interests/lessons without remembering how the art/music/science professionals running those after-school activities view our choices. It can appear that maybe I am knowingly putting sports above arts or sciences. But setting aside my teacher hat and viewing things from my parent perspective, I suddenly realized why it's so easy for piano parents to get caught up in the "cancel music for sports" mentality without even realizing they are doing it.
Sports seasons. There is a productivity/psychology theory out there that if you give someone a deadline they will be more likely to commit and follow through. (It even works with relationships. Don't say, "Can I talk to you?" Instead say, "Can I talk to you for 5 minutes?" and the listener will be more likely to listen intently and do what you ask.) An 8-9 week commitment for a sports season creates feelings of "this won't take that long" and "we can't miss anything because it isn't very long," especially when viewing it beside what may be a 48-week music lesson commitment.
In addition to sports seasons not feeling very long in comparison, seasons also create a feeling of finality--that if you don’t take this opportunity right now, it won’t come around for another year and that year can never be regained.
Elite auditions. Holding auditions where select few get on to a team make it feel like it's an elite opportunity that is hard to pass up that may never come around again. It also leads to immense feelings of “I never thought I’d make it! I can’t let them down now,” and “I’m better than I thought I was! This feels so good!” Not just teens feel this euphoria, though. Parents get caught up, too, as they have spent endless hours searching for new ways to help their teens feel like they matter and that they are good enough. It is a soothing confirmation to the parent’s soul.
Detailed contract. Couple the feelings just mentioned with the act of signing the impressively detailed sports team contract that outlines what each party is expected to do and will receive from the other parties: team members, parents, and the coach alike. Now it really feels like something special that not everyone gets the chance to do. Now you really don’t want to let your coach or your team down. And you hear stories that if you turn it down, that will be remembered when the next set of auditions comes around and you want to try again.
So what does this mean for music teachers? I'm not trying to justify piano parents favoring sports at all. I am laying out facts I see that will remind me to position myself in similar ways.
How can I continue to place the studio semester “season” in the forefront of my piano families’ minds? Do I mark the beginning and ending of a semester in ways that are memorable? Do I remember to include in opening- or closing-of-the-semester emails thoughts about how far we’ve come or what we are looking forward to as a group? Are my recitals creating a feeling of finality to the current season? Will it feel like students are missing out if they don’t participate in this season?
How can I create a feeling that belonging to my studio is an elite opportunity? Even if I am not super selective in my turning away of students, even if I don’t want the studio purpose to be only high-achieving or serious pianists, what other ways can I create an elite group of studio families? Am I creating enough space for my students to use their skills in a venue where it feels like it counts? Do my students feel when they perform that they are doing something truly amazing? Do my students and piano families know that they all matter?
How can I enhance my contract so that it truly makes being a part of my studio a privilege no one wants to miss? Should I wait to show my contract until after a potential student is accepted so there is already a sense of belonging before committing? Do my students have a list of what I will do for them, and do I sign their contract in front of them showing them that I treat this relationship with care and will do all I can to help them succeed?
I urge all teachers who are frustrated with what seems to be a culture of sports being more important than the arts to look for what we can control. Place ourselves in those parents’ shoes and find new ways we can move forward instead of being crushed about another cancelation. Maybe these parents don’t realize the responsibility and finality of their music season? Or maybe we can find a way to work together to accommodate both somehow? Whatever we do, it’s not a simple solution.
I also commit to doing a better job of placing myself in the role of a middle school or high school coach. I bet they are thinking, “They want me to turn this group of students into a functioning team in only a matter of weeks?! Yikes. What other practices and games can I schedule to meet what I said I would do? Will their poor performance be reflected in my faculty assignment for next year? We’re running out of time!”
Suddenly, I see a lot of similar feelings to students who have been placed in my care whose parents think they can learn piano in just a few weeks. I wonder if I should create a partnership with a local coach or two and see what else I can learn about how they create a feeling of finality, belonging, and responsibility, all at the same time.
EDITED TO ADD: I was reminded that high school sports are going to be a different ballgame with year round commitments. I still wonder, though, if parents see it like "this weights class is only 7 weeks, so let's fit that in" etc because they see it as short-ish groups of activities rather than one long one, and maybe it takes 1-2 years of high school for unsuspecting parents to realize it does end up taking the whole year. The ability to view things as having deadlines affects how we see things are parents. Since life is getting crazier and crazier I feel like so many of us parents are making short-term based decisions on our time instead of thinking longer term--like just trying to take one day or week at a time. I dislike the busyness that has been created in our current world, but it is there. So I am thinking I will do a better job of either appealing to that drive by making piano a group of short-ish activities combined into a long-term activity so it feels like parents can swallow it and not have to make decisions about 4 months from now OR educate to try to meet that misnomer of busyness preventing thinking about long-term commitments. Most likely it will take both strategies.
