#talking too much

[sunflxwqers]

FINALLY started really reading yj98 and i think im a little obsessed with her

[jjinpang]

How do you draw such tasty male anatomy??? I admire it very much and want to know if you have any secrets

I think one of the most important parts of drawing ANYTHING is finding what you like about the thing, and really getting that down on the page. Like the same way you can only talk/write about something in an interesting way when you have specific opinions about the subject matter; you have to have opinions on what you are drawing to create an interesting take on it. basically it's informing yourself enough to have an interesting opinion and amplifying it as much as possible! sometimes even at the expense of how things "actually" work

FOR INSTANCE! SPECIFIC ANATOMY EXAMPLE!

one thing I love about the human leg is that while mostly cylindrical, they actually do not have the same diameter all around, and have longer/shorter sides!!!! I LOVE THAT. so when I draw someone I'll take special care to sit them down so you can see that, or place a hand there to make sure you know the shortest finger, the thumb, was able to almost cover all of the front of the leg, while it took the WHOLE LENGTH of the hand to cover the side of the leg. I THOUGHT ABOUT IT A LOT AND I DREW IT LIKE THAT CUZ I LIKE IT THAT WAY.

My secret is that I find things I love and I try my hardest to show what I love.

[pikabysss]

I don't think I ever related more to any other fictional character than I do with Ragatha. Ragatha is not happy. She looks happy, she looks likes she's not taking things that seriously but she's actually deeply anxious. So anxious to make people happy to a point that if someone is unhappy it's because she failed them. She's here, but she wasn't able to help. Once her help fail, it's now HER FAULT if the person is unhappy or mentally unstable and she thinks that the person must certainly hate her.

Some deep thoughts rambling under the read more

This dirty eraser on the left was erasing better than the one on the right which looks cleaner. All the dirtiness around her was made with the right eraser. I tried to make things better with the cleaner eraser but ultimately failed. That eraser completely covered in filth, however, did the job correctly. I think both erasers held something significant in this piece so I decided to include them. The pencils worked hard too so they can be there too.

Okay, story time: One thing that happened in my life was that boy who was always mad at me. I was what I thought was the kindest I could be yet he would be very harsh with me because of mistakes I wasn't realising I was doing. And by harsh I mean very harshly and very often.

My brother told me "You were the nicest you could with him, I don't know why he was so hard on you."

He knew that my happiness was fake, and that bothered him, yet when I would be honest with my feelings, that boy wasn't treating me better. So, I tried to be on his side as much as possible and even then he would get mad.

When you're always trying to be good for everyone, you get crushed by the pressure.

Ragatha admitted that she was thinking that everyone in the circus hated her. Kinger assured that nobody hates her and I think he's right: I don't think people hate me either, but I certainly look "fake" to them and that's someone lots of people are not inclined to know deeper. You're just that nice acquaintance who gets along with everyone but nothing more. And most people who wants to be with you are the one who see your vulnerabilities and uses them.

But, now and then, there's going to be that "Kinger" that likes you. Even if you're not fully genuine, it makes them happy because those are not complete lie either: it's just amplified joy to look happier than you actually are because you're hoping that that extra happiness will make someone happier and there's some people that just needs that sometimes.

Yes, I don't think Ragatha is "fake", I think it's all about what she omits. She omits the negative things she wants to say and she omits some of her emotions by bottling them up.

I wanted to omit my feelings and my little storytime right now, but I think it goes against what I am trying to say...

I never quite saw a character written like Ragatha. The anxiety attack that she has when Kinger asks if she feels better are the EXACT types of anxiety attacks I have. It comes out as tears and not so coherent thoughts. It's not always crumbling on the floor breathing hard or all that, it's the type of "emotionally repressed" anxiety attack. Your body is begging you to explode but you're so used to holding back that all you end up doing is cry and breath slightly faster. They usually fade faster too. (As shown when Gangle arrives, Ragatha seems already over it.) Also, yeah, I do believe this scene was supposed to be an anxiety attack scene since Ragatha is not shown to cry a lot and is not someone silent, she talks a lot. But, when kinger asks her "are you alright?" she only shakes her head, not responding with a word which is usually what happens with me too: so overwhelmed I can't talk at first, I need to take a few breaths before I can even say a word because my brain is in anxiety mode. When Kinger asked "you want to talk about it?" that's when her brain got the message that she could talk. (I think that is linked that if the authorities in your childhood didn't want you to express your emotions and would tell you to stop talking or scream when you're upset or they would be extremely mad at you if you do. So, your body adapts and when you're about to have a strong emotional reaction, your vocal cords squeeze and your throat block because if you make a noise, someone will know you're unwell and you certainly don't want to bother people by being unwell, right?)

PS: I gotta add that, like her, I seem to have a fine life where I shouldn't complain. Ragatha was rich; I live in an okay house and have financial stability and yet... I'm still emotionally drained, depressed, anxious. And I also had abusive/immature parents but we still don't know what kind of abuse Ragatha received as a child so I can't really compared myself with her for that yet.

[caccry]

screw you *star warses ur metal gear*

(individuals under cut)

[jacksynhearts]

I have birthdays every year but for some reason turning 19 tomorrow is really messing with me and I don't want it to happen

[billowingangel]

Was reminded of one of my favorite shows to ever exist - Grimm

However, it's kinda funny to me. Like I was just laying in bed trying to fall asleep when Monroe just popped in my head.

I think that's because usually I daydream about myself in a fictional universe. However, that's based on my hyperfixation so when that begins to fade I'm like uhhhh. So maybe I'll hyperfixate on grimm.

[acanofcoke]

Posted this on my Instagram and I genuinely got annoyed because I was drawing him.