you’re my religion || priest! geto x female! reader
y/n moved into a small and tight knit town to take care of her elderly grandmother. what happens when she attends a sermon with her grandmother, and finds herself lusting over someone she cannot have.
ART CREDIT: @/521JIE on twitter (or X but who really calls it X)
this might turn into a series.. the one shot is way too long for it to be a one shot.
A/N:
Let’s kick this blog revival off with a holiday appropriate shitfic eh?
It’s an old one from the depths of my google doc hell, and it’s involving a mixed up ship mess from a very old dead multi-fandom roleplay forum.
Characters involved: Dean (SPN Canon), Sam (SPN Canon), Maebh (SPN OC), Deadpool (Marvel Canon), Fives (Star Wars Canon), SD-630 (Star Wars OC).
Warnings: none, there’s mild threats of bodily harm and sexual jokes but nothing actually happens.
“Hey, you ready to go yet? Sam is freaking out being alone with Maebh.” His voice echoed up the stairs with mild annoyance etching his words.
“I don't get it, isn't this weird earth holiday all about couples? Shouldn't he not want you there? Why am I being dragged along?” Her questions barely preceded her down the stairs as she asked them in rapid succession.
“It is, it’s a dumb ‘earth holiday’ but Sam likes her and I'm just in it for the free lunch and to keep him from being… Well, Sammy.” Shrugging he leaned against the lobby wall and occupied himself with his obsolete car keys oblivious to being watched from the stairwell.
“Doesn't explain why I'm going… I don't want to be stuck in some pink plastered café surrounded by grotesque displays of adoration and happy couples.” She made a fake puking sound as she came into view to emphasize her point.
“You jealous? That's cute coming from little miss ‘let me introduce your face to my fist’. C’mon, we’ll cash in on a free lunch, make fun of all the happy couples, and then go drown our loneliness at the bar. It’ll be fun.” Alerted by the proximity of her voice he looked up in time to provide a lop sided convincing grin before ducking to avoid the boot thrown at his face.
“I'm not jealous!” Closing the distance between them she grabbed her boot and stepped back to sit on the steps to put it back on. “I just like to keep my food in my stomach where it belongs. Republic Clones and Jedi are bad enough on their own, Republic Clones and Jedi in love, out in public, on a romantic holiday? Throw me to a sarlacc please.” She couldn’t have rolled her eyes any harder as she let her thoughts stray to the blonde Jedi that had stepped in and shoved her out of the picture with a certain clone captain that she had since been avoiding.
“Uh huh… Either way, let’s go, I'm starving.” With that he opened the door and stepped out of the apartment complex into the sunny streets of the island's main town.
“Still never answered me. Don't you have any other friends you could drag along to this torture?” Catching up to him she nudged him playfully.
“None that are single, and I'm sure Jett would just love if I invited Teal along.” Rolling his eyes and dragging out Jett’s name unfavorably he continued, “Which leaves Maebh, who’s already there, and, oh look, you. So can you lighten up just a little and have fun for a change? Or are you programmed to not have fun?”
“I'm a stormtrooper not a droid, I am perfectly capable of having fun.” With an almost growl like reply she nearly shoved him into a wall as they walked.
“Right, prove it then short stack.” Stopping at a door covered in hearts he grinned and opened it to a cacophony of slow soulful music, giggling chatter, and a familiar red masked mercenary singing along to Frank Sinatra’s The Way You Look Tonight.
“Damn, Wade outdid himself this time…” Ignoring the jab at her height, or lack there of standing next to the 6’ giant beside her, she scanned the crowded diner until she spotted the date they were crashing. “Look, there’s Sam and Maebh, so glad they took the corner booth, no one has to see me here with you on this puke worthy holiday.”
“See you with me? I’m the embarrassing one? Didn’t you wreck your chances with a certain clone by being the embarrassing one?” Swaggering along beside her he nodded and grinned at each person that looked up at the pair of them with expressions of confusion or shock.
“I did not! He was a pushover and that saber wielding witch used her damn dirty jedi mind tricks on him I know it.” She hissed as she slid into the booth seat opposite Sam and Maebh before narrowing her eyes at him for additional confirmation that he was being an idiot in her opinion. “You really know how to treat a lady don’t you?”
“A lady? Where?” He slid into the booth seat and immediately doubled over to rub his shin under the table. “Dude, ow.” His previous grin was replaced by a look of shocked indignation as he glared at his brother sitting across from, ignoring the muffled chuckling coming from both women at the table.
“That's not a very clever pick up line, no wonder you're single.” The blonde managed between her stifled laughs.
“I'm single. You're single. Coincidence? I think not.” he leaned over closer to her smiling broadly with a wink.
“Ok, if you are going to start that right now, you two are going to have to find your own table.” Sam coughed drawing their attention back to the collective group.
“Hey, you asked me to be here, I wasn't going to suffer alone. Besides, I figured maybe you could tell me, you ever danced with her?” His usual cocky grin secured in place as he asked.
“No… Why?” Sam, as well as Maebh and SD, stared at him with mixed looks of confusion and worry.
“I just figured someone that’s hot as hell, had to have danced with the devil a time or two.” The trio of groans were accompanied by howling laughter from the next table over, garnering their attention to see who was listening in on their conversation.
“Oi, Fives, unless you want to eat blaster bolts and leave your date with the check, act like this entire table doesn’t exist. Got it?” SD glared between Sam and Maebh at the clone trooper sitting behind them.
“Don't be like that SD, I'm sure your date wouldn't enjoy you taking time away from him to kick my ass today. I think it’s kinda sweet you found someone to share this earth holiday with.” Fives smiled while draping his arm over his own dates shoulder smirking back at her.
“My date?!” the rest of his words fell on deaf ears as her eye twitched in aggravation. “Move your ass Dean, I'm going to make him eat those words.”
“Ouch, shot down by the droid captain herself. Knew you didn't have a heart SD.” With a wink he turned back to his table and continued to focus on his date.
“I really hope you got health insurance Fives, cause you're going to need an entire hospital to help you when I'm done with you!” Trying to physically push Dean out of the way she was determined to at the very least punch the clone in the face a few times if not outright stab him.
“Hey, if you were a droid, at least you'd be a HOT-obot. Can I just call you Optimus Fine?” Wiggling his eyebrows in a jesting manner he tried to defuse the situation before SD really did get up to start a fight with Fives.
“Wow Dean, and I thought we would be the ‘gross cute couple’ present. That was just, wow man.” Sam shook his head as Deadpool sauntered over with a tray of drinks in hand to take their order.
“So what can I get the barbershop quartet of murder and mayhem today?” Setting down the tray, he handed a beer to Dean, a glass of water to Sam, and a soda to either SD and Maebh. Tucking the now empty tray under his arm he smoothed out his apron. It was a baby pink thing with red hearts printed across that worked better than Dean's latest pick up line as both women at the table started laughing, even Sam and Dean couldn't help but chuckle.
“We all know you don't do menus, so what's the special today?” Maebh asked after composing herself.
“I'm glad you asked! Today we've got every assortment of pasta you could imagine, I highly recommend the spaghetti to share,” even with his hood on, his eyebrows raising suggestively did not go unnoticed, “as well as all the usual dishes. I focused more on the desserts than the entrees. Sundaes, giant brownies, cheesecakes, basically anything you can imagine is being whipped up!”
“I don't know what ‘the usual dishes’ are… I'm assuming Earth food?” SD asked with one brow quirked displaying her obvious confusion at everything being said.
“Do you have Alfredo in that ‘every assortment’ of pastas? Been awhile since I had a good Alfredo. You'd probably like it SD, it’s just noodles and sauce.” Maebh gave her order and offered her suggestion to SD.
“Actually that sounds pretty good, make that two please.” Sam chimed in before Deadpool had a chance to answer. Without bothering to verbally confirm their order, he pulled a notepad from his apron pocket and jotted down before looking at Dean and SD.
“I don't even know what pasta is in the first place…”
“You wouldn't like Alfredo, it’s basically vegetarian. You’ll want something with red sauce, more meat.” Dean interjected knowing that someone with a love for carnage like the captain sitting beside him would not be a fan of anything even remotely vegetarian.
“So the spaghetti to share for the killer couple, got it!” Deadpool didn't give them time to reject his choice for them before he skirted away from their table shouting towards the kitchen “I NEED TWO GREENS PEACE PLATES AND ONE LADY AND THE TRAMP!”
“Oh hell, he better bring that out on separate plates I swear.” Dean sighed as he took a drink of his beer, grateful the mercenary always magically knew what everyone wanted to drink at least.
“Don't count on it.” Sam chuckled from his side of the table.
“While we're waiting, I got another question for you.” The second the words were out of Dean's mouth Maebh hung her head knowing no good was going to come from his statement.
“Uh, what?” Already not looking forward to whatever stupid thing he was about to say.
“Is that a mirror in your pocket?” With one brow raised and his shit eating grin back in place he waited for her answer.
“No?” Looking down at her pants oblivious to the punch line she wondered why he would have asked that.
“Because I can practically see myself in them.” His other brow raised as he mimicked Deadpool earlier suggestive eyebrow wiggle.
“You'd have better luck seducing her blaster man!” Fives chimed in between laughs.
“Both of you can shut your mouths right now!” She hissed as it dawned on her what he said. “I only came along because you sounded so pathetic and desperate when you asked. This isn't a date, we are not involved romantically or casually, cut it out Dean.”
“Oh come on, lighten up!” Playfully nudging her shoulder trying to get her out of the sour mood she was in he added, “I just like to stay on top of things. Want to be one of them?”
“You're going to get stabbed-” Sam started up before Maebh interjected.
“Or shot.”
“Yes, or shot, and ruin the day for everyone here. I'm sorry he's like this SD. He's never had a woman actually say yes to spending Valentine's Day with him and it's clearly gotten to his head.” Sam explained trying to justify his brother's behavior and lower the tension.
“How sad, makes sense though.” She didn't elaborate and even looked out the window when she caught the confused look on Dean's face.
“How the hell?” He asked looking from SD to Sam and Maebh completely bewildered.
“Because on a scale from one to ten, you're a one, and I'm the nine you need.” A slight smirk crept across her face as she refrained from looking back at him in a poor attempt to keep from laughing. Maebh cracked up though at her retaliation and in turn she couldn't help but start laughing as well.
“Oh! The stormtrooper thinks she's got jokes! That's pretty cute coming from someone who must've sat in a pile of sugar.” He almost started laughing when she scooted over in the seat to see if he was being serious or not. “Because you've got a pretty sweet ass.”
“Tell me something I didn't know Darth Obvious.” With an amused snort she picked up her soda before noticing Deadpool coming back towards them with a tray of food. “Oh good, at least if your mouth is full you can't make anymore dumb jokes.”
“I got something that could fill your mouth.” He muttered quietly as he watched her start choking on her drink.
“What the kark!” Having nearly snorted out her drink through her nose she had to take a moment to get her breath back as Deadpool set out their plates.
“Alfredo for you, Alfredo for you, and please wait until you're back at your own place before you start choking on things that are hard to swallow SD, my other patrons don't need to see that.” Setting down their large shared plate of spaghetti he made a quick exit away from their table to go check on other lunch dates before SD could retaliate amidst the rest of their table laughing heartily.
Still coughing on her drink she could only glare at him as he walked off before she could reply or at least throw a knife at him. She knew it wouldn't have done any real damage to him, but it would have made her feel better that even he had gotten a jab in at her expense.
“Hey, calm down, you'll want to save your energy for tonight after all.” Dean grinned as Sam and Maebh groaned.
“Can you at least keep it clean so I can keep my food down?” Sam pleaded as he took a bite of his food and mumbled about how good it was, to which Maebh mumbled back around a bite herself.
“I make no promises, it's hard to keep it clean when you've got a health hazard sitting next to you.”
“Hey Dean?” The almost innocent nature of her question was concerning all on its own.
“Yeah?” Watching her nervously he had a nagging thought in the back of his mind to get out of the way but he stayed sitting anyways.
“You dropped something.” Looking past him at the floor beside their booth she kept up the casual tone and calm façade.
“What?” Following her gaze he didn't see anything and became confused. “No I didn't?”
“Yeah, you did…” taking advantage of him leaning towards the floor, she shoved him out of the seat before adding “your standards.” While he flailed futility to try and keep himself from falling, she took a bite of the weird mess of food sitting before her and grinned. “At least your taste in food isn't terrible.”
“You just called yourself low standard, you know that right?” He asked as he got back into his seat.
“I never said mine were great either.” She muttered as they continued to eat their meals with minimal conversation.
When their plates were mostly empty, and after a short battle for the last meatball, Deadpool came back around with drink refills. “And what can I get you all to satisfy your sweet tooth? Brownies? Ice cream? Both? Cake? Pie? -”
Almost simultaneously SD and Dean's faces lit up at the mention of pie as they perked up and asked “Pie?” Gaining them a chuckle from Sam and Maebh who both knew Dean loved pie more than any other food except maybe burgers. Looking from Deadpool to one another skeptically they spoke up at the same time again.
“You actually know what pie is?!”
“Pie is an Earth food?!”
“If I hadn't already met God, I'd think he was real now. A woman after my own heart.” He wiped away a fake tear as Deadpool took the moment to throw a handful of candy hearts in the air above them bringing both out of their shock to glare up at him in annoyance as the hard candies pelted them mercilessly.
“What the kark Deadpool! What are these things?” SD hissed as she picked one up and saw that it had words on it. “Cutie Pie? Is this some kind of joke?”
“The only joke here is that you might have actually found someone SD.” Fives piped up after being silent for too long. “Ouch! Those things hurt!” He ducked down before she could throw another one at the back of his head.
“So I think it's obvious they want pie, but can we get a Sunday please?” Maebh interjected before SD and Fives started up again.
“Of course! All the toppings?” He asked, looking at Sam and Maebh ignoring SD and Dean shaking candy hearts out of their shirts.
“Yeah? Sam?” She asked not sure if he had any allergies she should be considerate of.
“Anything you want, I'm not a big dessert person anyways.” Seeing the slightly dejected look at his words he quickly added “I'll still have a few bites though.”
“HEY SLADE I NEED A BANANA BOAT AND A COUPLE SLICES OF YOUR GRANDMA'S BLUE RIBBON!” He shouted as he started down the row of booths to take other dessert orders and shower more unknowing patrons with hard sugary treats.
“Seriously though, what are these things?” SD asked the rest of the table as she picked a few more up to read them. Pulling a disgusted face at one that read 'soul mates’ before flicking it away from her.
“They're candy with silly messages printed on them,” Maebh answered as she picked a few up to read as well. “Though there's some X-rated ones mixed in… not surprising coming from Deadpool though.”
“Hey, SD…” Dean held out a heart that clearly Deadpool had somehow managed to make and mix into the regular cutesy ones that read ‘nice ass’.
With a grin she picked through the ones on the table and held one up in reply 'eat me’. Of course she had meant it in a 'go fuck yourself’ kind if way not knowing it was intentionally one of the dirty ones mixed in.
“If you insist, we'll need that pie to go though.” Leaning closer to her he held out another ‘lets bang!’.
“I may not have a heart, but know a few other ways to get blood pumping.” She grinned as she spoke up enough for Fives to hear. The resounding sputtering of a drink was all the response she needed to start laughing her ass off. For additional effect, added for Sam and Maebh's benefit, while pushing Dean out of the booth she tacked on a “Sorry to have to bail on you guys early, but I can think of better places to enjoy a slice of pie among other things.”
“Wait, seriously?” Stunned by what was going on he didn't really have the mental capacity to object or question her as she flagged down Deadpool and dragged him along.
“What just happened?” Maebh asked Sam, equally confused.
“Dean just met his match is what just happened.” He chuckled as he leaned back into the booth seat to relax.
Although I didn’t think I was going to make it, I actually did it! I wrote twenty thousand words in July, completing my goal for Camp NaNoWriMo.
I’m so proud of myself. This is the most I’ve written in years and the first time I’ve ever completed NaNo. I still have a lot of writing to do until this book is finished but I’m actually feeling motivated to keep writing and it’s such a strange feeling. I’m so used to wanting to write but not being able to. A lot of credit goes to my friend Dominica who has spent the entire month, doing writing sprints with me and being this books number one fan. Oh, and keep a look out for this week’s Top 5 Wednesday for more details about the book I’m working on.
I’m going to try to do NaNo in November but I’m a little nervous because that’s double what I wrote this month. I think I can do it though!
Did any of y’all do Camp? Tell me what you wrote about!
A/N: This is an old piece that I have touched up a few times, it’s not actually as long as it seems if you cut the song lyrics out. It’s got no real plot, it’s a touch ooc for some of the canons, don’t care. I have written a dozen different stupid “what if” pieces for this stupid ship and I won’t apologize for it.
Characters Involved: the entire fricken MCU because why not. Telani Henderson (Marvel S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent OC)
Warnings: None? Two people get drunk and enjoy a secret indulgence, nothing scandalous or mature.
It was an ordinary evening shut in, like any before it and any to come would be, though of course, that depended on what one defined as ordinary. Was it ever truly ordinary at the Avengers Compound? No matter where you went, the sounds of super humans, be they self made or born with it, filled the room. Between the verbal back and forth for rights to use the kitchen and the roaring war of sparring coming from the training room, there was hardly anywhere to escape for some peace and quiet. Though hardly did not mean completely nonexistent thankfully.
Dressed in nothing fancy, just a pair of grey plaid pajama bottoms and a navy blue tank top, Telani made her way silently to the stairs to slip off undetected. Army crawling, she used the back of the couch to avoid Peter trying to explain DVR to a very confused, and increasingly loud Thor; though she was sure Peter knew she was there by the slight trailing off mid sentence. If he did, he knew not to say anything out loud about it. Barrel rolling across the kitchen arch, she avoided Natasha battling Scott over what sort of food they were going to make. The doors to the stairs leading down to the lab were shut, as were the training room doors, meaning she could easily walk past them without Tony or Bruce trying to ask her to help them test something; or worse, Steve giving her a lecture about skipping training then having to spar with Sam and Bucky for the next three hours.
Home stretch, just one last hallway to slide down before she could vanish in the stairwell leading to the other basement. The one that wasn’t full of chemicals and partial experiments, but instead an entertainment escape room that was her one demand for moving from her apartment to the chaos of the compound. Down there were a couple of pool tables and dart boards spread out before a fully stocked bar taking up nearly half the room. Opposite the bar, thick luxurious red curtains hung. At first glance they seemed to be decorative, some dramatic flair to the overall setting of the room. Behind them though, was a private theater with large individual recliners and small tables spacing them out for drinks and snacks to be always at arms reach. Just as she was pulling open the door, a voice rang out and stopped her in her tracks. Tense from being spotted, she turned around slowly to see Clint dropping out of the air return vent in the ceiling. Unfortunately for her, that was not an uncommon thing for the archer when he came around and found himself with nothing to do.
“Whatcha sneaking off like a thief in the night for?” The grin that spread across his face gave away that, like usual, he was in a jovial mode.
“Gonna try to watch a movie… Alone… In peace… Try being the keyword now that I've been had.” Her irritated huff punctuated her desire to be left alone for a few hours.
“What movie? Can I watch? I promise I'll be quiet.” Starting towards her, he completely ignored her obvious wishes drawing a groan and an eye roll for a response. Instead of verbally granting him permission to accompany her, she simply held the door open wide enough for him to go in, even going so far as to flourish her hand dramatically waving him through.
“Sweet, so what are we watching?”
“I thought you were going to be quiet?” A second eye roll was her automatic response as she followed him down into the dimly lit bar scene.
“When the movie starts, sure, until then, you gonna answer or just be a moody teenager about it?”
“I'm not a moody teenager, I haven't been able to be that in years, thank you very much.” Once she was off the stairs, she parted the curtains enough to disappear behind them. “Make yourself useful, grab us drinks and start the popcorn maker.” Without any further information she went to turn everything on and began sifting through the movie library on the tablet synced up to the system.
“Can do boss lady.” was the short reply she got as he went to the bar and shrugged before deciding for her what they’d be drinking.
With the first movie selected, she had intended to watch as many ‘lame’ musicals as she could get in before being interrupted, she sat back and patiently waited to hit play until Clint came in. The whirring of the blender behind the bar stopped, though it was quickly replaced by a clattering of glasses on metal, a curious sound when she would have been content with a couple sodas.
“One pitcher of Clint’s world famous margaritas, this ought to be enough to get us started, yeah?” Clint asked as he shouldered through the curtain with a platter in hand. Atop said platter was indeed a pitcher of margaritas, two glasses, a plate of salt, and several lime wedges.
He had gone all out with the wrong drinks eliciting a genuine chuckle as she pointed at the mini fridge by the popcorn maker. “I meant a couple cokes, but sure, margaritas, why the hell not. Now get over here so I can hit play.”
The second he was settled into the large recliner beside her, with the platter resting on the end table between them, she hit play. Almost instantly the first musical number started up. Normally she would sing along to musicals, but then again, normally she watched them alone with no one to judge her for it. Much to her surprise, Clint started humming along to it, she was pretty sure he would have started outright singing along if he weren't still trying to keep his partial deafness a secret from most of the team. She had only known that due to an accident where she had set off an EMP in the compound and in turn knocked the power out for his hearing aids.
Smiling as she poured them each a margarita, she nudged Clint with one glass to get his attention. When he turned to accept the offered drink he raised a curious eyebrow at the grin she was giving him, silently asking ‘what’ without breaking his promise to be quiet during the movie.
“Singing along is an acceptable loophole to not being quiet during the movie.” Clinking glasses and taking a large sip, she nearly spit it back out the second Clint started singing along.
“GOOD MORNING BALTIMORE
Every day's like an open door
Every night is a fantasy
Every sound's like a symphony”
It had taken the entire verse for her to compose herself, letting Clint belt it out on his own, rather loudly and overly enthusiastic at that. She was ready for the next verse though as she set her drink back down and threw her arms out for effect.
“Good morning Baltimore!
And someday when I take to the floor
The world's gonna wake up and see
Baltimore and me!”
Both of them were grinning and laughing like idiots by the time the song ended. With him being off key most of the time, she had given it her all unafraid of him judging her for her dramatic antics or her voice. She no longer regretted accepting his company as they both sang along, very terribly, to all the songs without a care in the world.
Lost in their musical nonsense, neither of them noticed the curtains slip open and two heads peek in. Vision had suggested a movie with Wanda to take her mind off things. Though they were surprised to hear the theater was already occupied; the two were both curious and amused as they descended the stairs to be greeted by a combination of laughter and horrible singing. While Teal and Clint tried to sing “The New Girl in Town” with as nasally girlish voices as they could possibly manage, the pair of intruders slipped quietly into seats at the very back of the setup to enjoy the show.
Nearing the end of the movie, Wanda and Vision still sitting in the back doing their best to not laugh and draw attention to themselves, the not so musical pair had begun to get a little too into the movie. When “You Can’t Stop the Beat” began, they both jumped from their seats and began to dance along while taking turns practically shouting the lyrics at one another.
~~~
While the entertainment room had been very thoroughly soundproofed, the door itself could have stood to be an inch, or twelve, thicker. Or maybe the training room could have been further away so that when the three soldiers occupying it walked out, they didn't hear faint shouting coming through the closed door. At first they were concerned, though once they realized which room it was coming from, they knew not to expect trouble from within. That didn't stop Sam from opening the door only to slap his hand across his mouth and motion for Steve and Bucky to follow him.
When they approached the curtained off section of the room they waited outside, planning to wait until the big final musical number was finished before barging in to tease them. Before they could though, Wanda and Vision slipped out.
“Hurry, we need to get out of sight before they come out.” Wanda ushered as she and Vision went to hide on the stairwell.
“What? Why?” Sam’s question echoed by the expression on his face as he watched them sneaking off.
“Clint is going to get them a refill while Telani puts on the next movie-” Vision began to inform them before Wanda grabbed his arm.
“Then we will sneak back in for the next movie, now go, otherwise you'll embarrass them and they won't continue.”
“Ok now I have to see how long they keep this up, c’mon let's get out of the way!” Grinning, Sam followed after Wanda and Vision with Bucky in tow. Steve on the other hand seemed conflicted for a moment before Bucky grabbed his arm and dragged him off with the others. The five of them looked more or less like naughty children trying to catch a peek at Santa on Christmas Eve as they sat on the stairs listening for when it was safe to go back down.
“Honestly I never knew you liked Musicals Teal, let alone knew all the songs in them.” Clint commented as he parted the curtains with the pitcher in hand to make another round of margaritas.
“Well I don’t know all the songs in all of them, just the ones I really like. Which admittedly is a lot of them. They kept Nick out of my room when I was younger, and in trouble, and they sort of grew on me.” She called out as she flipped through the movie library again to find another specific musical. This time opting for something with a drastically different tone of music, she couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as the opening number started up.
“You know all the songs to this one don’t you?” He shouted back as the blender whirred to life momentarily.
Rather than answer, she threw back her head and shouted “I have sailed the world, beheld its wonders! From the Dardanelles to the mountains of Peru! BUT THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE LONDON!”
“OH I LIKE THIS ONE!” For someone usually so silent on their feet, she could count down the seconds until he got back based on him racing through the room to get back to his seat. He threw back the curtain and brandished the pitcher threatening to spill its contents as he belted out, “I too have sailed the world, and seen its wonders! For the cruelty of men is as wondrous as Peru, BUT THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE LONDON!”
While the two of them destroyed the opening song, by singing it far too enthusiastically for the somber tone it set, the group gathered on the stairs slowly snuck back in to the back row biting their knuckles to keep from laughing out loud.
~~~
Meanwhile upstairs Natasha and Scott had just finished up the meal they came together to make after their fight for the microwave left the thing on the fritz and discharging small shocks to anyone that dared touch it. As they dropped their dishes in the sink Nat suggested they go play a game of pool, thinking everyone else was still busy either training or working. She assumed a few games of pool would give everyone else time to finish up what they were doing so the group could do something together. They descended the stairs during a rather quiet moment in the film, and froze to exchange concerned looks when they heard, in increasing volume, the duet Teal and Clint had gotten to in the movie.
“For what’s the sound of the world out there?”
“What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound?”
“Those crunching noises pervading the air!”
“Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, all around!”
“It’s man devouring man my dear!”
The two of them went back and forth keeping up with the pace of the number until the both of them sprang from their seats, grabbed each other's hands, and simultaneously shouted in one another's faces “THEN WHO ARE WE TO DENY IT IN HERE!”
“Is that who I think it is?” Scott’s grin nearly split his face as he recognized Teal’s voice easily and it dawned on him who must have been the other voice. It only took Nat nodding silently as she crept towards the curtain for him to realize the show was definitely going to get better from there and followed after her. As soon as they slipped in, Nat caught sight of the others in the back row and gave them a stern motherly glare, ironically disapproving of their spying. She didn’t have long to make her thoughts known as Scott happily slid between two seats to be able to watch the movie and duck down out of sight if need be. Sighing silently she joined the others because even she had to admit what they were witnessing was beyond amusing.
How they got through the rest of the movie without noticing anyone else in the room was a genuine mystery; though perhaps not entirely unfathomable with how dark the movie's settings were, making the room darker than usual. Even stranger that more had managed to join those filling up the seats to watch unnoticed.
~~~
T’Challa and Rhodey had been gone most of the day meeting with military officials, as they often did when T’Challa was visiting, and returned to the compound as the movie was drawing to a close.
“Where is everyone?” T’Challa questioned as they noticed only Thor and Peter in the living room watching Star Wars, a series the young boy had recently gotten the Asgardian hooked on. Thor had initially assumed it was a true story from a realm he’d not visited yet, and by the time he was corrected he was already too invested to stop watching them.
“Good question, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Rhodey was just as confused, seeing that Peter and Thor were on the original trilogy, he was surprised that it was just the two of them watching.
“Mr. Stark and Mr. Banner are in the lab working, the rest of the compound inhabitants are in the theater Mr. Rhodes. Though I might warn you that most in the theater are attempting to avoid detection and I advise you enter quietly if you wish to join them.” The disembodied female AI voice called out from seemingly nowhere.
“What the hell does that mean?” Looking to T’Challa, Rhodey’s face expressed nothing but confusion.
“Shall we go find out? Sounds exciting.” Though he was a king, he had grown fond of the childlike shenanigans that took place within the compound and found each visit to be most enjoyable. Not being in the public eye, or surrounded by his people who looked up to him as their king, he found himself able to relax and actually have a little bit of fun whenever he had an excuse to visit the Avengers.
With a shrug Rhodey led the way to the theater and as they descended the stairs they were surprised to hear loud singing coming from behind the curtains.
“I think this show might warrant a drink?” T’Challa was already halfway to the bar when Rhodey mumbled in agreement while watching the curtain expectantly after hearing only two voices.
“Perhaps we should also turn off a few lights out here so that we can sneak in more easily.” He added as he handed an open beer to Rhodey and turned off the stairwell light before sliding between the curtain and wall, this time with Rhodey following him. They were not disappointed to see most everyone else ducked between seats hiding from Teal and Clint. Though it took Rhodey a moment to catch on as he watched them in shock, T’Challa slipped right in next to Nat with a grin just in time for the final number.
Teal leaned in towards Clint during the beginning when both characters were singing independently, and to those watching, for a moment it seemed the pair wouldn't get as dramatic with this song as they had nearly every other. Until the part of the song when Sweeney Todd snapped and Clint swiftly rose from his seat dragging Teal up with him by her arms.
“Mrs. Lovett, You're a bloody wonder, Eminently practical and yet, Appropriate as always, As you've said repeatedly, There's little point in dwelling on the past!” Spinning her around wildly it was hard to make out the following lyrics over them laughing through them.
Their spinning got only more erratic until they both froze and shouted “JUST KEEP LIVING IT! REALLY LIVING IT--” and Clint pushed her back into your chair as Sweeney Todd shoved Mrs. Lovett into the oven on screen and finished the song with a somber tone returning to his own seat.
When it was over everyone ducked down onto the floor between the rows hoping the pair would continue their unknowingly observed performance.
“Another round?” Clint asked hopefully from beside her.
“That depends, I could deal with something stronger than a margarita, so let's make it interesting? We have to take a shot at the start of each song, go grab a bottle.” Wriggling her eyebrows in amusement, she couldn't control the laugh that burst forth as Clint practically flew from his seat blind to the rest of the room.
“I AM SO GAME!” He shouted as he vaulted over the bar and missed his landing due to already being a bit buzzed. “I'M ALRIGHT!”
As the next movie started up he raced back into the room and almost threw the bottle into her arms. “WE'RE ALREADY BEHIND!”
Taking a swig, she passed the bottle back and danced along to the beat from her seat not bothering to sing along to the opening song. “It's just the opening credits, it doesn't really count, but drink up!”
By the end of the intro song, both of them were bouncing in their seats waiting for one of the most well known songs to start up. When it did, oh were they ready. They even spoke the lines leading up to it in their excitement.
“Summer lovin’ had me a blast!”
“Summer lovin’ happened so fast!”
“Met a girl, crazy for me”
“Met a boy, cute as can be”
Even in the poorly lit room, those watching were not convinced that in their drunken state the pair were not just singing along, but singing to each other. It took them helping one another, by physically holding each others mouths shut with tears of joy streaming down their faces, to keep silent.
That amusing assumption didn't last long though as they improvised not having enough people to sing the song properly. Teal deepened her voice beyond what was needed to belt out “tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?” While Clint raised his several painful octaves too high to reply “Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car?” The rest of the song went along that way, until it eventually ended with both of their voices cracking as they tried to match Sandy and Danny's last line.
“Oh my god this movie was a mistake, we're going to lose our voices by the end of it.” Clint laughed as he leaned back in his seat causing everyone hiding to duck out of sight.
“That's what the shots are for, here!” Shoving the bottle back at him she grinned along with him as the movie carried on song-less for a bit.
They sang along to every song in the film, as they had the two musicals prior, and by the time the movie was nearing the final numbers; they were beyond drunk and messing up most of the lyrics. It didn't stop them from giggling along with their mistakes like the dorks they knew they were being though. It had been a long time since they had been able to hang out like this, the booze and nostalgia of their younger S.H.I.E.L.D. days had them on cloud 9, with not a care in the world for how much they’d regret their choices in the morning.
~~~
“Who wants Thai fo- Hey Spiderling, where is everyone?” Tony had thrown open the lab door with Bruce in tow expecting to find more than just Thor and Peter watching TV in the living room. When he saw no one else, he cut himself off going from exuberant to perplexed in the blink of an eye.
“Downstairs, Teal and Clint are watching musicals, everyone else is spying on them.” Turning to look at him over the back of the couch he added, “Surprised you two didn't know already, Teal snuck down there like six hours ago.”
“Teal? Musicals? Did you know anything about this?” Looking back to ask Bruce, he was answered with a shrug. “Huh, she never told me she liked musicals.”
“She didn't tell anyone. She usually only watches them when you guys are out on a mission that you wouldn't let her go on.” Turning back to the movie he and Thor were watching he called back “Probably so nobody else finds out.”
“Tony, don't… everyone else is already spying on her, if you do too-”
“Oh come on, I won't laugh, I promise. The other guy can hit me if I do.” Already making his way to the basement, he grinned as he heard Bruce sigh and follow after him.
As they approached the curtain, a song he actually knew started up and he waited outside a moment longer.
“Tony what are you doing?” Bruce whispered anxiously beside him.
“Hang on… wait for it…” holding Bruce's shoulder he pushed himself forward as he heard Teal laugh at Clint “tell me about it, stud.” as she did he threw open the curtain and surprised everyone not just with his entrance, but by singing loudly,
“I got chills,
they're multiplying,
And I'm losing control,
Cause the power,
you're supplying,
It's electrifying!”
Startled, but too drunk to care that Tony had just barged in, she narrowed her eyes briefly before continuing,
“You better shape up!
Cause I need a man
and my heart is set on you!
You better shape up!
You better understand,
to my heart I must be true!”
As she sang her lines he moved up to the front row with her and literally swept her off her feet while belting out,
“Nothing left
Nothing left for me to do!”
While holding her they sang on together,
“YOU’RE THE ONE THAT I WANT
YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT
OH HONEY
THE ONE THAT I WANT
YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT
OH HONEY
THE ONE THAT I WANT
YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT
OH THE ONE I NEED
OH YES INDEED!”
She struggled a little asking to be let down, and the moment her feet hit the floor she took a few steps back before turning back to him as the lyrics started up again,
“If you're filled with affection
You're too shy, to convey
Better take my direction,
Feel your way”
On cue Tony fell to his knees, refusing to degrade himself by falling all the way as Danny did, and leapt back to his feet walking towards her,
“I better shape up,
Cause you need a man!”
“I need a man,
Who can keep me satisfied!”
“I better shape up!
If I'm gonna prove!”
“You better prove,
That my faith is justified!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I'm sure!
Down deep inside!”
They sang the rest of the song together, dancing around the space between the front row of seats and the screen. The pair, and Clint who was watching in awe, were oblivious that those who had been watching in secret had gotten up and were watching blatantly in shock at what was happening.
When the song ended they erupted in cheers and laughs while coming out of their cramped hiding space to join them in the last number. It was a good thing the Avengers Compound had plenty of land and no neighbors to hear them collectively singing along to “We Go Together”
At the very end, with everyone laughing and almost acting as drunk as Teal and Clint were, Teal turned the movie off and looked about the group while turning the lights on.
“How long have you all been here?”
“Long enough Mrs. Lovett.” Sam answered before bursting into another fit of laughter.
“Spying is rude you jackass!” She hissed at Sam as she almost started towards him ready to throw hands.
“Oh come on, you use F.R.I.D.A.Y. to spy on us all the time!” Bucky piped up from somewhere near the back of the group.
“THAT'S DIFFERENT! I WILL BEAT YOU WITH YOUR OWN METAL ARM!” She probably would have too, had Tony not swept her into a hug and squeezed her to him.
“Only you can go from singing musicals to threatening bizarre but amusing violence.” Tony scoffed in amusement as he kept one arm draped across her shoulders.
“Don't act like you're off the hook either. I never knew you watched any sort of musicals, let alone know the songs in them.” With a drunken mock pout, she grumbled at not being able to at least go smack Bucky on the spot.
“Neither did you, so I think we're even. Now how about we all get some dinner and discuss a regularly scheduled musical night where everyone is included instead of hiding in the back, hmm?” Looking across the faces of the rest he received a general agreement that food was definitely in order after all this.
“Only if we can get Thai from -”
“From that place on 7th with the ribs you like so much?”
“Oh god yes. I'm starving! Last one up gets locked down here for the night!” Prying herself away, she climbed over the seats to get around the others and took off up the stairs with Clint trying desperately to catch up to her. Steve intervened and lent him a hand getting up the stairs since there was no way he’d have been able to climb them on his own in his inebriated state.
“Don't you dare lock us down here!” Tony halfheartedly shouted after them with a content smile. He hung back to dig his phone out of his pocket and start scrolling for the restaurant in question’s number.
“Good timing Stark. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you planned when you'd join in.” Nat slyly grinned at him while everyone filed upstairs joking and singing various songs from the movies they had sat through. It was as if she was privy to some inside joke about Tony and Telani’s relationship, or lack thereof.
“Cross my heart, I didn’t even know she liked musicals.” Finding the right contact he hit dial as he and Nat started up the stairs behind the loud procession. “Guess I really do need to shape up huh?”
This is the first and likely the last time you will get any personal information about me.
My name is not actually Tes. However, Tes (short and easily pronounceable version of T.E.S.C.) is the name I will be going by on this blog. Part of the point of this blog is to remain anonymous and keep my life and my writing separate.
Why?
Simple. Growing up I loved writing, I still do obviously or I wouldn’t be posting this right now. My family though, was not supportive of any of my creative endeavors. I don’t just mean they dismissed it as a dumb hobby, that would have actually been nice compared. Oh no, my father actually threw away notebooks upon notebooks of novel attempts, short stories, world building, doodles. The man outright told me that I’d get nowhere in life wasting my time with writing and drawing. We do get along now that I’m off on my own life ventures, so long as I keep my hobbies to myself at family social events.
Throw some severe, crippling, social anxiety on top of that, and you have the delightfully idiotic mess that is myself. I’m stupidly nervous about publicly sharing the bullshit that I write. So my anonymity is my way of saying “fuck it, you can do this, just throw those stupid words out into the world and let them do their funky little thing!”
My posts will range from parts of shitfics, drabbles, one shots, the weird things my mind decides must be written, pieces of character bios, and the results of prompts from the handful of prompt books I’ve been collecting. Some things I’ve already written will be broken into smaller parts, and you may get these weird little series in a row. Other times you may not get a sequel part for a few months because I lost the muse for it and then suddenly refound it. Some things will not make sense because they are based off friends original characters as well as my own, while other things might be strictly canon characters from shows/movies you know and love.
Basically what I’m saying here, is expect this to be really fucking random at times. Expect fluffy diabetes drabbles, expect bloody gore and torture fics, be prepared for things that sound like I’m on drugs (though I assure you I’m not, drunk sometimes yes, high, no.), and there might be some straight up shit posts of things I wrote entirely for comedic relief.
Lieutenant Naiche Decker has finally found a home aboard the UDC starship, Lovelace. With the Eternals war behind her, she’s looking forward to life as an explorer rather than a soldier. But her latest adventure – exploring a quantum entanglement – proves to be her most dangerous mission yet. Aiding her in this quest are best friend Con Kennedy, canine companion Kayatennae, and a remarkable Quantum Drive ship that links directly into a pilot’s brain. Complications include an arrogant yet intriguing rival pilot and a race of mysterious aliens whose intentions are as murky as the waters they inhabit. Naiche will need all her ingenuity and skill to rescue her stranded comrades before they're lost forever.
Spooky Action is the latest novel in my sci-fi trilogy starring the irrepressible Naiche Decker.
Or you can get a free copy from me in exchange for an honest review!
The lively and talented @jediorgana has been finding face-claims for my characters and I’m going to be posting those and telling a little bit about the characters
Ready for a cover reveal?? Here's the cover for the sequel to my sci-fi novel, We Have Met the Enemy, releasing March 3rd, 2020! Spooky Action at a Distance, starring the irrepressible Naiche Decker, and the rest of the Lovelace crew, will be available in early 2020!
Naiche Decker has finally find a home aboard the starship, Lovelace. But her latest adventure, exploring a quantum entanglement, takes her into greater danger than ever before. Of course being Naiche, there are personal entanglements complicating matters along the way, too. Can Decker rise above them and rescue her stranded colleagues before they’re lost forever? Read and find out!
Pre-orders available now for Spooky Action at a Distance! Order now for 30% Discount and free shipping! https://dxvaros.com/spooky-action-at-a-distance
