@thornsraised : ❛ a war story is a black space. ❜ // for malleus, mayhaps
malleus is a child, a fae adolescent no older than forty. there’s so much he has yet to learn & even more that will be withheld from him until the time is right. but the young prince has always been a curious child, his pale hands always reaching for things just out of his grasp. malleus has yet to understand that there are things he’s not meant to question or ask about. he doesn’t understand that knowledge is dangerous & can burn you in ways his own flames cannot.
he finds lilia after studying in the palace library. this is how his free time has been spent from the moment he’d learned to read. books can be tucked away & hidden but they can never refuse you. they won’t push you away or tell you you’re too young to read them. therefore the boy prince finally has a sense of freedom in pursuing what his heart desires. he can look through anything that catches his fancy & who’s to stop him. so that’s what he’s done. however this is the first instance that he’s sought someone else following his pursuit of knowledge.
lilia is warm & playful as always. at this age malleus still feels he is the person safest to confide in. lilia won’t scold him or turn him in to his grandmother. malleus feels safe in the presence of his caretaker, which he supposes is what a caretaker is meant to be, a safe place.
❛ what happened to my mother & father? ❜ the sudden question pierces through the comfortable air in the room, lilia’s friendly greeting cut off completely. for a moment the old general’s smile is wiped from his pointed features. evidently he hadn’t expected today to be the day malleus would ask this question.
since his birth what malleus had been told was that his parents weren’t with them anymore. the word death was never used in his presence, the prince was never outright told that his parents were slaughtered, but the tone made it clear of what it meant. & for a while that was enough for him. after all malleus had never known them & how can one miss someone they’ve never known? but today it wasn’t enough. today malleus read through the pages of a log detailing his mother & father’s funeral.
lilia’s smile returns to his face almost as quickly as it had disappeared. however there’s something different in it now, something malleus is too young to pick up on. melancholy & grief lies in lilia’s ruby eyes, the elder lowering himself to malleus’ level. he playfully taps the tip of the prince’s nose with his finger. “ what’s this? a new question today? ” the tone is light & playful, far too amiable for one just asked about the passing of a loved one. “ now what’s the meaning of this sudden curiosity? ”
malleus explains himself, his words hurried & nearly frantic. the faster he explains the faster lilia can tell him the truth. the faster he can learn what in fact stole his parents away from him before he even had a chance to love them. thankfully lilia complies...well in a way. “ we lost them in the war. ” lost. not died, not killed, lost. it’s always the same circling around the cold hard truth. “ this was before you were born. ”
❛ what happened in the war, lilia? tell me. ❜ the curiosity is nearly gone in his pleas now, malleus using all his might to muster a commanding voice worthy of a future king. lilia may be older but malleus is still royalty. he has to do as he says, or else...or else...
lilia lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head as he lowers a hand to ruffle malleus’ dark hair. for the first time the elder’s cheeriness feels off putting as opposed to comforting. for the first time malleus does not feel completely safe in the company of his caretaker. “ now, now, i know my stories can be delightful, but now is not the time & place little princeling. stories rich the mind but a war story is a a black space within it. you’ll be ready to learn someday. don’t lose heart. ”
it’s the very last thing malleus wants to hear. it’s the thing he’d hoped against all hopes that lilia wouldn’t say. he’d thought...he’d hoped that lilia would be different. he thought at least lilia would be honest with him, understand that he’s not so little anymore. malleus had faith in lilia. but in this moment disappointment & betrayal seeps over the child’s faith in his caretaker.
he wants to protest, he wants to demand an answer out of him. but he knows it’s no use. so the prince merely scrunches his youthful face up in a pained expression & nods. ❛ yes, lilia. ❜ malleus refuses to linger after that, his head drooping slightly as he wordlessly leaves the room. he’s been refused like this in the past, but that had been from servants & his grandmother, people who had never learned to develop hope in. with lilia this is the first time a refusal as so thoroughly broken the prince’s spirit like this. & that fractured spirit shoes in the hurt in the boy’s eyes as he turns away.
the next time he has an important question, malleus does not go to lilia.
literally the first ask meme for this blog // closed
