Bad nights happened. Hwan Tae had long ago accepted that. He’d been having bad nights ever since he could remember. As a child, that meant cowering in the small apartment he shared with his sa bum nim, as a wolf, scared of her as much as he was his memories. He would lash out at her, and she would retaliate. This quickly taught him that any time he was afraid, he had to be alone. Any time the memories took over and the anxiety made his heart race and the depression told him he was a worthless nothing that didn’t deserve to take up space. He was only safe if he was alone, somewhere far away from others. When he lived in Seoul, he’d board himself up in the basement, locking even his sa bum nim out. When he was in New York, and other cities, he’d run as far as he could in any direction that seemed promising, and usually found a spot secluded enough for his wolf. On the ranch, he alternated between hiding in his room with the door locked, praying Ella wouldn’t come knocking and realize it was locked, and the woods, on the edges of the property away from the town. The mountains were tempting, but he was almost too afraid to leave the property if something happened. Feeling like a trapped animal, he crouched among the trees, currently a wolf but knowing he’d be human again in a little while, whimpering and growling in equal measure.
@caideniphillips