#tner tag

[boatyardbabe]

fanart of the fics “the never-ending road” and “no journey’s end” by @laventadorn

[laventadorn]

What kept Snape going through all those long years as a spy? The novels say he wasn’t a man bound by a sense of duty—so was it guilt, then? A sense of responsibility? The pride of being the only one who could do it? A life of just enduring one day at a time? Snape is such a complicated person 😮‍💨

you have asked what i want to say is the central question of snape's character: why -- or how -- could he do what he did? in effect, if we can answer this question, we gain the ability to understand everything about him!

i remember that when deathly hallows was published and the truth of snape's allegiance came out, i thought it was baffling and -- honestly -- absurd. "that makes no sense!" i seem to remember saying to myself. but later, i came to feel that it was compelling precisely because it made no sense. once we accept it as the "truth" of snape's character, we have to try and explain this part of him: this thing that defines him but which seems to defy rational explanation.

what would make a person protect someone he hated in the memory of someone he'd loved but had no good relationship with in the end? that's perhaps an overly simplified framing, but it's also undeniable that snape hated harry and that he carried his love for lily until he died.

however, based on our understanding of human nature, can we say that someone could do everything snape did for the sake of someone else, even out of love? could he do it from feelings of guilt or responsibility? could someone remain guilty all that time, and be driven to those lengths purely by remorse?

i think the truth has to be that in the deepest, most profound way, even if he was unaware or didn't acknowledge it, snape did it all for himself. this isn't about selfishness; it's the core, i think, of how people work: some things have inexpressible value to us, and to touch the essence of them in our lives is to be fulfilled. something about turning against voldemort, about spying on him, about his role in the war, about protecting harry even at great personal cost, about continuing to love lily, must have given snape a sense of purpose and fulfillment that let him remain steadfast in spite of great personal risk and estrangement. we can't say he was a joyous or even a contented person -- i think it's clear that he was deeply unhappy, miserable, and bitter, perhaps even joyless. but fulfillment doesn't have to be joyous. it just has to give your life meaning.

i agree that snape wasn't dutiful. i see "doing one's duty" as adhering to a framework imposed by others -- family or society, for example -- such as professing loyalty to a cause or swearing allegiance to a person because these things are expected of you (because of your place in society, for example). snape isn't like that at all -- which is also why we can discount a sense of responsibility, which is the twin, or cousin, of duty. i'd argue that snape's moral framework was self-assembled (and mutable, and contradictory) and his allegiance was always completely personal. he did things because he wanted to do them. when he joined up with voldemort, it's because he wanted to, and when he switched sides, that's also because he wanted to. he protects harry and spies on voldemort because he wants to, not because he could be bribed, coerced, threatened, swayed, or inspired. but he doesn't want it for the usual reasons, i.e. believing in harry or possessing the same sense of justice as dumbledore's crowd. there was absolutely nothing in it for him in the traditional sense, which means the deciding factor had to come from within, and it had to be enough to reshape his entire life.

so essentially, i didn't answer your question, because i can't purely answer it for myself :3

he's very complicated, you're right! even after so many years, i still find new things about him to ponder over.

[lilyerida]

Thank you @laventadorn for the opportunity to read and print my favorite book <33333

[boatyardbabe]

fanart of the fics “the never-ending road” and “no journey’s end” by @laventadorn

[laventadorn]

I just need to share that I actually had a tner dream recently 😅 harriet manages to convince shape to restore draco and asteria's memories and once he remembers that she rescued him, it triggers draco to confess he has a crush on harriet and try to kiss her. In my dream she ran straight back to snape and was like "you were right actually, please obliviate them again"

harriet: ...i did something bad.

snape: are we talking "awakening some ancient monster dwelling within the bowels of hogwarts" sort of bad, "started another illegal club" bad, or some new brand you're just trying out?

harriet: hey, i wasn't the one who awakened the first monster, you remember that, right?

snape: nevertheless, i feel compelled to mention that you could in fact talk to the ancient monster dwelling within the bowels of hogwarts.

harriet: OK, well, that's not my fault, and anyway, no, it's something else -- you know how i asked you to unobliviate malfoy and asteria? i. may have... accidentally obliviated malfoy again.

snape: "accidentally"? we are going back to your second year, aren't we?

harriet: accidentally-on-purpose.

snape: i'm waiting.

harriet: he tried to kiss me.

snape:

*at some not-too-distant location, draco suddenly feels as if a fleet of feet stomped on his grave*

[laventadorn]

Shows up 9 months late with Starbucks and 9 years late with this meme

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[laventadorn]

Dude dude dudeee I just finished reading TNER and all 20 chapters of NJE and let me tell you I basically am at a point in my life where I legit don't wanna read fanfic anymore especially HP fanfic because nothing will ever beat it or even be as good. The way you have written them falling in love on the most organic way makes me feel like I know them. You have totally changed my life and rocked my world. I'm a changed woman and my third eye is wide open, thank you. Keep up the good work, sending you lots of love and virtual hugs <3

P.S: since Remus is aware of Snape and Harriet being mutually in love what do you think his opinions are on this matter? Is is horrified, confused or accepting? Also do you think Hermione might have an inkling that maybe just maybe Harriet's crush isn't entirely one sided? One thing I'm quite sure of tho is that Narcissa will have a laugh once she finds out and absolutely make fun of him forever lol. Hope this ask wasn't too spoilery, if so pls ignore it. Cheers!

✧⁺⸜(●′▾‵●)⸝⁺✧ thank you so much!

i've put this behind a cut in case anyone finds my answers spoilery, too. it's hard for me to judge that since i either Know Everything or forgot what i wrote xD also, people want to know different things, of course!

Remus:

he's in an interesting position. as someone who's reviled by his very nature (werewolf) and in a secret relationship (with a man, in a world i've characterized as being incredibly hostile to same sex relationships, to the point where it pretends those don't exist) he's used to having to hide every single aspect of himself and present a false, mild, amiable front that's detached from the truth of himself. he's very careful in observing people around him, both to adapt himself to act non-threateningly and to try and gauge whether they've figured him out yet. he's spent so much time learning not to react that unless he's in a combat situation, he doesn't act.

anyone else in his position would immediately try to do something about what he'd uncovered. ironically, given the fact that harriet has no guardians, they'd probably go to dumbledore, who, as it turns out, wouldn't do anything about it because he already knows and has sanctioned the current reality. remus is probably telling himself that surely dumbledore already knows, which is the sort of self-serving delusion he's good at (cf. sirius in PoA) but in this case is the absolute truth. he isn't wrong! (side note: i love remus; this is just the reality of his avoidance.)

so, he knows, but he's not going to do anything about it at present, not unless harriet herself seems hurt or upset. but! that's not what you're asking; you're wanting to know how he feels about it.

he's completely bewildered by harriet's half of the matter, but he honestly doesn't understand what sirius could possibly see in him, either -- that stuff he told harriet about being not even all the way to substitute for james, just a sort of placeholder, is what he has genuinely believed for over a decade. the truth is that it isn't accurate at all. sirius wholeheartedly and truly loves him in a separate way than he loved james, whom he saw as his family or his brother, just in this obsessive way because he's not the most stable guy alive. remus has completely internalized his world's hatred for werewolves; he fears and loathes the werewolf, and by extension, himself, although his relationship to being the werewolf is... complicated. very complicated. his self esteem is lower than dirt. so this makes him a little more tolerant as a baseline, less likely to recoil from automatic disgust, even though he doesn't like snape much at all.

he does, however, recognize that snape has done some incredible things to keep harriet safe, which complicates his understanding of snape as a person. he understands that snape couldn't have done those things if he didn't genuinely care about harriet; not just about her welfare, but about her. so he doesn't really know what to think. he takes refuge in non-action.

i wouldn't go so far as to say he accepts it philosophically as something good or even neutral, rather that he accepts the fact that there is symmetry between harriet and snape, an echoing of sentiment. at this point, he will never say anything to a living person who doesn't already know. really, he wants to talk to harriet, although he would do this obliquely.

Hermione:

she's has been too busy with her own troubles (her current difficulties, prefect duties, not-quite relationship with ron) to notice how much harriet's thoughts revolve around snape. she has no idea about the after-hours personal sessions or trips to his rooms, and harriet hasn't told her the full story of the golden restoration -- hasn't told her anything, in fact. at this point, all hermione knows is that dumbledore ordered occlumency lessons with snape, and she's observed harriet mouthing off to him; but she also saw this last year as well, so it isn't particularly noteworthy. she did sense something at one point (when she said to harriet "it's like you know him") but she's also lost some confidence in her own abilities since she was injured. mainly, she's kept in the dark by a lack of data. until something else undeniable intrudes on her notice, she's let it fall to the back of her mind.

Narcissa:

"I see he's finally taken my advice about marrying somebody younger. It's about time he listened to me. But Harriet Potter?" she doesn't know what's worse: the hair or the marked-for-death-by-the-Dark Lord business. severus is fulfilling her advice in the most contrarian way possible, as usual. oh well, it will certainly solve the problem of draco fancying her! if they all survive, she will have material to tease him with for the next forty years.

[laventadorn]

i hope i’m not too late for the prompt ask lol but something i’ve said before: harriet finds the recipe for the potter hair potion and while everyone is shocked by how her hair looks, snape is more shocked that she actually brew something

here's my best shot!

—

The purple light beneath the cauldron lit Ginny’s face eerily from below, turning a perfectly normal-looking face into a sinister mask. 

“You know what to do,” she said in a low voice. 

Harriet widened her eyes a little, pretending surprise. “Do I, though?”

“You agreed to the terms.” 

“Did I, though?” 

Ginny held out a piece of tattered parchment. “Potter Hair Potion. Get brewing.”

Harriet sighed. “You can just buy Sleekeazy’s at the store.”

“That wasn’t the agreement,” Ginny reminded her with far too much attention to detail, in Harriet’s opinion. “You’re supposed to brew it with this old recipe – your grandfather’s original.” She flapped the parchment at Harriet. “C’mo~on, it’s for charity.”

“Can’t I just hover in the air while people hit Bludgers at me?” This had been Harriet’s proposition for the Christmas charity auction, but surprisingly, nobody had taken her up on it. Ron reckoned this was because nobody expected they could successfully hit her (an observation Hermione did not find amusing). Harriet found that a much more believable probability than the idea that nobody wanted to hit her with a Bludger.

“Fleamont Potter’s original recipe,” said Ginny, holding up the auction list, “brewed by his one and only granddaughter, Harriet Potter. Recipe donated by a secret partner, we won’t even ask who they are or where they got it.” (The answer was: “Sirius found it stuffed in one of his Playwitch magazines – in pristine, if faded condition, kept on the bedside table to convince his family he was perfectly straight – owled it to Harriet to share a bit of Potter history, and Ginny, happening to be on hand, asked, ‘What’s that?’”) 

“We did get 50 galleons from the Hufflepuff house pool for it,” said Hermione, rather apologetically.

Harriet had always been fully prepared to do her bit; she just had to gripe first. Besides, she thought cheerfully, she would probably botch it, and then they’d have to give the money back. Or she could always cheat and ask Snape to brew it. 

--

Harriet turned up to class on Monday morning with a sheet of perfectly straight hair falling to her collarbones. She looked as perplexed by it as Severus felt.

Everyone else felt the same. Even Miss Granger, who was clearly in on the secret, had an air of resignation, as if she’d given up trying to work out how it had happened.

Normally, Harriet’s hair lived in a fluffy snarl somewhere above her shoulders. During potions it would often get snarlier, and she’d pin it out of the way. Today, it kept slipping out of the pins and falling in her face, which knit her eyebrows tighter together with annoyance each time it happened. 

Miss Patil actually came over during a slow stage of brewing to help Harriet braid it out of her face, only seeming to realize halfway through her plait that she was, in fact, in the middle of Potions class, and that everyone, including her professor, was watching her impromptu beautification session. In fact, everyone seemed to realize it at the same time. Slytherins and Gryffindors alike froze, gazing dumbfounded through the fumes at Severus, a passel of blinking round eyes. For a moment, he was caught by a ticklish urge in his chest, which took him a moment to recognize as the desire to laugh.

“Do go on, Miss Patil,” he said. “My classroom is, after all, a hair salon.”

She shot back to her seat, leaving Harriet with a half-braided tail. She slapped her clips into it, then got back to brewing with a woodenly straight face.

“Twenty points from Gryffindor – for frivolity,” he added, not really caring, but one had to keep up appearances. Everybody immediately looked relieved – the first time that had happened in the dungeons since he’d begun teaching, he was sure. 

--

“C’mon,” Harriet complained late that evening, “twenty points for frivolity?”

“You can have it back,” he said, “if you explain” –he waved his hand– “that.”

Harriet, her hair still bizarrely straight and even, blinked. “Explain what?”

Who’s on first, he thought, but didn’t say. “That’s not patented Sleekeazy’s. It’s much better. What did you do?”

“Oh.” Harriet grimaced, reaching up to tug at a piece of her hair. “How do you stand this, by the way? It’s always flopping in my face and getting stuck in my collar.”

“Twenty points,” he prompted.

“Sirius sent me an old recipe he found. I didn’t know my granddad developed Sleekeazy’s until he told me. Anyway, it was the original recipe, not the one they tweaked for mass production or something.”

Severus blinked. “Who brewed it?”

“I did. For the charity auction, you know? I just had to put it on my head first to make sure it wouldn’t turn anyone’s hair into a mass of snakes or something.” 

“I’m sorry, I must have inhaled fumes from the first year Hufflepuffs’ class. I hallucinated your saying you brewed this.”

Her face rippled as she failed to decide between scowling and rolling her eyes and settled on letting out an expressive puhbht. “I can brew things, you know. Or you should know, I’ve had Potions class with you for five years.”

Severus, who had never once graded a single assignment of hers, choosing instead to simply assign her random grades, decided to mention this some other time. 

“Thirty points to Gryffindor,” he said eventually.

“Th–wait, thirty?”

“For successfully brewing a potion.”

Harriet was silent a moment, considering. “I think I should feel insulted, probably, but why waste the time? Besides,” she added cheerfully, “coming from you, that’s big praise.”

Severus thought he should also, perhaps, feel insulted, but decided that she was right: why waste the time, today? Without rhyme or reason, he was feeling a peculiar near-cheerfulness.