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Muku | 21 | he/him | gay | BST
icon | header | click here!
kazui mukuhara and rika kim enthusiast. very vocal about my opinions but always willing to listen to other views :)
mlgram analysis posts masterlist under cut (pls remember to check timestamps for them lol)
I decided to draw Corneliana Valkrum, this isn't an official design just yet I'm just experimenting and this is what I have so far
I tried my best to not make her look like Travis and I think it actually worked in a way, if I don't look too hard she doesn't look like Travis, which was what I was trying to do so that's good
Aaaa, I’m probably alone on this vote, but I would love to see more on sex appeal of a math textbook! It’s so good!!!
Oh, the Dark Ages. The power I wielded.
"Hey Frost! Hows it going?" Ellie nervously waves to her.
Frost looks up from her book with a frown and looks up at Ellie. “Hello, Ellie... Fine, I’m reading... How’s your day?”.
closed off = mysterious; complicated = intriguing; independent = strong; but sometimes i wonder if i’m too ambiguous to love
casper. this is how i translate to a romance novel
Restless Dreams: Rewritten?
Recently something has crossed my mind while review the chapters of Restless Dreams. “Is this what I want it to be?” With that, I may or may not decide whether to rewrite the entire main story mode (Renn’s story) into one of the early concepts or not.
The early concepts for Restless Dreams are that it is going to be a Psychological Horror mixed with Lovecraftian elements (rather than focusing on Lovecraftian Horror) mixed with classic Survival Horror gameplay. These concepts was scrapped because I didn’t want the game to be short and look similar to the games that were released at the time I planned the concepts.
Combat is still prominent in the early concepts. Only without the hunger/thirst system and freeroaming sessions. Instead of “Future Renn”, there’s “Dream Renn”. There are only 4 ~ 6 chapters as opposed to the 8 chapters of the current version. There’ll be no difficulty setting as the game’s even more story focused and combats are definitely less challenging while also providing as obstacles.
Basically the major changes are Renn’s character and story mode, which will be entirely rewritten while Ryuu and Kayako’s story mode remain untouched. It’ll be gloomier, more serious to the point where there’s barely any joke at all.
But of course, I’m not gonna make this decision in a short time. It just happened to cross my mind and made me rather worried since the current RD is completely different than what I want it to be.
Reflections of March
I had actually written a really long post (on notepad, first mistake) reflecting on last week, and then my computer restarted for windows update. Womp womp. Will try to remember what I wanted to say and how I was feeling during that week, as well as reflect on this past month
Monday, 3/21: I presented a rotation project to the department on Monday. It was the last one of the semester and I was home-free after that, but I was very very nervous. Something about presenting your own stuff makes me nervous. Anyway, for the chalk talk, I was drawing out the protocol that I used to generate my data, and for one part of it, I drew a mouse. The mouse was so atrocious, my classmates and professors started laughing, but they continued to laugh even after I finished drawing it, so I started laughing as well, and had to recompose myself before moving on to draw a brain that elicited a similar reaction -___- their laughter actually put me at ease a lot. I received an email later that day from the PI whose lab I did my rotation in and presented on, and who is also the director of the program, titled “nice job!” He commended me for a great presentation, and also added in that my mouse was awesome and only contributed to the awesomeness of my presentation -_____________- yeah, okay, I’ll take it ahah
Tuesday, 3/22: Overall just had a really productive and happy day in lab. It’s amazing how much stress was relieved after that presentation. Jesus.
Wednesday, 3/23: This was my favorite day of the week by far. I had volunteered to participate in a program for the Atlanta Science Festival called “Imagining the Future” where you were matched with a school and class (either elementary, middle, or high school), and then you set up a time to go to the school to teach the students about your field of research/work and try to inspire them to pursue science. I was matched to a low-income school’s 5th grade class where 90-95% of the class was made up of African-American students. Needless to say, I stressed over this like crazy, trying to perfect my presentation and what I wanted to say. I did three 1-hour sessions on Wednesday. I couldn’t explain to you the feeling I got when I walked into that school - it was a combination of relief, calmness, and happiness. I was greeted by such kind and warm welcomes and smiles. My sassy gangster fabulous side from when I grew up in the ghettos was even able to come out on occasion while talking to one of the teachers there. My stomach jumped with excitement whenever the teacher introduced me as “This is Ms. Nguyen, and she is a pharmacologist,” to which I always corrected a bit sheepishly, “well, I HOPE to be a pharmacologist, I’m not one yet.” It was so tiring, but I think the most rewarding thing for me was just to see how attentive and excited the students were. Watching their demeanor change from caution, suspicion, and maybe a little bit of sass, to hope and encouragement and excitement. They asked a lot of great questions that I don’t think I learned how to ask until I had already graduated college and started working full-time in a lab (”when you test drugs on a mouse, how do you give the mouse the disease you’re looking at?” “how easy is it for a drug to get approved?” “how do you know what things to put into a drug, like the chemicals?”). I think I was just as excited as them. At the end, I got a hug, and a bunch of other questions as the students were leaving. One girl came up to be apprehensively, after everyone had already gone. She asked me, “Did you go through any challenges when you were in college?” Her eyes told me she was scared, but hopeful. I started telling her about how neither of my parents had gone to college and it was a struggle to really acclimate and figure out what I wanted to do and what to expect, since I had very little guidance. I told her that if she asked for help, someone will always help. Our short exchange saw the hope in her eyes strengthen and she left saying “thank you” in an excited and hopeful tone. After all the classes were done, the teachers came up to me to thank me. And I guess this is why they are the teachers and I’m not. They said that they were so grateful for my coming to the school to teach these kids, and that they thought the kids were really enlightened. Confused, I asked what they meant with a smile on my face. They elaborated: that because I had come and encouraged them to pursue science and gave them the information to think about careers in STEM, that they now know they’re not “destined” for some job they think they are, like rappers or football players. God, my heart was so full that day.
The rest of my day, in contrast, was kind of miserable after that. Even after driving an extra 10 minutes out of the way to get coffee, I was still very sleep deprived (I hadn’t slept the night before). I’ve been sleep deprived worse before, though, so I was very frustrated and confused. In lab, I fell asleep at my desk at a narcoleptic level - falling asleep without warning for 10 minutes at a time, waking up and falling asleep again. When I did manage to stay awake, I saw flashes of light whenever I blinked. As soon as I got home (around 7 PM that night), I ate something small, talked to my roommate a bit and let her check my heart and blood pressure for her practice (she’s in the PA program), and then I promptly fell asleep at 9PM. I woke up the next morning around 9AM (!!!!!). It was so bright and quiet that I thought it was Saturday. My body told me I had some other obligations, so I looked at my phone, realized it was Thursday, and got up to get ready for my 10 AM class.
Thursday, 3/24: Nothing out of the usual, felt super refreshed and alert. Got coffee with a fellow BC alumna! She’s currently in the philosophy PhD program at Emory, and we caught up a bit over coffee at Kaldi’s. It was really nice to find someone who came from the same place I did, and who understands my gripes haha
Friday, 3/25: I had another classroom session here, but this time, only 1 hour, and this time, no miraculin activity with the students (this time, 4th grade). I planned to do a game show/quiz of some sort with them instead. This time around, the presentation went a lot more naturally and smoothly, but there was an energy in my presentation that I didn’t have at the other school. The students here also asked great questions, so much curiosity: (in regards to ligand and receptor binding) “what happens if there isn’t a key for the lock?” “what happens if there’s another key that can open the lock?” “does skin regenerate because of receptors, too?” God, they are so bright. Also, I learned that I really love hugs from kids (I think I knew this). They told me to come find them at the Atlanta Science Festival on Saturday.
Saturday, 3/26: Made a friend while volunteering :) She’s 3 years older than me, though, and we both thought the other was the same age as us. Do I act really old or something? I find my taste in men has changed quite a bit, too, since starting grad school - I seem to be attracted to men in their 30s -___-
Bonus thoughts: Why do people equivocate my not wanting children to my not liking them? I freaking LOVE kids.
