A little bit of autistic Janus for your soul <3
Hurt/comfort fic in which Janus has a meltdown because his of his hair (based off of true events in my life) and is comforted by the rest of the squad
Characters: main character Janus, Remus, Logan, Roman, Patton, Virgil, Thomas mention
First time writing in a while so please be easy on me also sorry if formatting is weird
If there was one thing Janus hated it was his hair. His hair that would constantly fall on his forehead and become a disgusting distraction. His hair that tickled his ears and sent him into a frustrated flurry. His hair that was now all over the bathroom floor. He hadn’t meant to do it, really he hadn’t, but he had become increasingly frustrated with his hair through the month. You see this whole thing started when Janus decided it was time to finally do that big stack of paper work from the lies he had told at an obnoxiously loud and irritatingly bright party that Thomas promised to go to for his friend.
Janus was sitting there at his desk and was hunched over his work, and with one last wriggle of annoyance, he had finally finished with the large stack of papers, now with every box checked I dotted and t crossed, Janus looked up from his desk and the first thing he noticed before he had gotten the chance to straighten his back was, of course, the wretched mess of itchy, bothersome hair that was now doubled in length sense the last time he checked. Janus grimaced and mumbled some colorful words directed at the ever so unaware strands that sat atop his skin, stretching his back and standing Janus noted to himself the mess he had made on his desk and promptly added cleaning it to his to do list choosing instead to be rid himself of the scratching at his neck, ears, and forehead.
It had been about a week since Janus cut his hair but the phantom itching persisted causing Janus to, on more than one occasion, consider asking Remus to simply cut his head off to make the insufferable feeling go away.
Another week passed and the itch was still not gone and Janus just couldn’t stop focusing on his hair, the way it fell into his ears and forehead and ran up his neck, it was as close to torture you could get without any actual torture involved, and Janus had just about had enough of it, and to make matters worse whenever he would tug at or scratch his hair even a little to much Remus would always be right there with a “Dee you are bleeding!” Or “Janus you’re pulling your hair out!” Didn’t he see that was the goal? Well the blood was just a side effect but it resided the pain of the ants crawling on Janus’ head.
Another week and Janus was ready to snap, NO, he had snapped! Janus would refuse to be without a hat on and even that was irritating to his skin, only small bits better that the hair on its own. He made the decision he had just cut it to long and so, in the middle of the night, Janus crept his way into the bathroom trying to be as quiet as possible and picked up the scissors. He had only intended to cut a little bit but it wasn’t enough and so he cut more hair off and some more and just a bit more just one more chop and soon he found him self reaches for the clippers and completely shaving his hair down to a thin layer of spikes. By now he was crying, his increasingly manic race to rid himself of the painful feeling forcing him to spiral into a frenzy of cursing, shaking, and stimming frustratedly, he had abandoned being quiet somewhere between the crying and the clippers and as he turned the clippers off their quiet but oh so loud buzz stopped abruptly and Janus could finally hear a very concerned Remus on the other side of the locked door, when had he locked the door? He reached up to unlock the door, when had he sat down? Remus flung the door open.
“Janus are you alright?!? What happened?!!” Remus spun his head around until he found Janus on the floor, who was suddenly not crying at all?
“Janus-“ Remus cut himself off with a sigh “what are you doing in here?”
“Why were you yelling kiddo?” A very anxious Patton said from beside Remus, when had the others got here?
“I was?” Janus finally said after what felt like forever. Patton let out a very concerned noise that Janus failed to catch his head spun in captivating circles of emotion.
“Yes Janus the whole house could hear you” “and then some” Patton said cut off by Roman who’s head appeared out from underneath his velvet sheets, Janus shivered at the thought of it, velvet? Seriously Roman velvet? Do you enjoy pain?
“Sorry guess I wasn’t paying attention.” Janus said far to nonchalantly for Patton’s taste. A long silence rung out from everyone as they all seemed to get what had happened and collectively waited for Janus to come back from his spiral, Virgil and Roman backed off from the situation, Logan and Patton went to prepare things to possibly help the situation such as water, Janus’ favorite gloves, and a heating lamp that Janus liked a lot. Remus just stood in the doorway and kept watch over Janus as his brain cleared of the fog and static that prevented Janus from being able to process what had happened.
“I’m bleeding.” Janus said so quiet it was almost a thought.
“Where? Do you want help?” Remus said equally as quiet
Janus nodded and pointed to the back of his ear and sure enough a small River had formed down his neck and seeped into his shirt.
Remus healed the wound without touching Janus as much as possible and after a while the two of them walked to the living room where Patton and Logan where setting up Janus’ favorite fidget toys and sensory gadgets. Janus immediately snatched up the black and white chew necklace that was in the shape of a crystal. He flopped down on the couch tired from the emotional outburst.
It was already the afternoon by the time anyone spoke next, everyone trying to give Janus the necessary time to cool down. It was Janus who spoke first.
Everyone was in the living area reading or listening to music through headphones or doing some arts and crafts, something quiet to let Janus rest, and Janus himself was simply sitting on the couch and watching everything around him.
“….thank you..” he whispered out “for helping me..” he looked entirely too unbothered but anyone who knew him could tell he was everything but.
“No reason to thank us Janus it’s not like you choose to have a meltdown.” Remus responded distracted by the bloody picture he was drawing.
“Yes but still… it means a lot to me.” Janus smiled the smile not reaching his eyes but still genuine.
They all silently agreed that it was ok to be noisy again and life went on as normal, but Janus would never forget the incident. Sure he had had meltdowns before but it was just him and Remus then and while Remus always did a great job and tried his best he didn’t always know what to do. Janus felt lucky and loved more than ever when he was with everyone and he knew deep down that no longer would there be days where Remus was left to scramble to help him because they weren’t alone anymore and he knew it would always stay that way forever.
