#tw alcohol reference

[fullcravings]

Coconut Coffee Rum Cocktail (Non-Acoholic)

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hey my Tumblr Peeps😁I have a treat for you, not only I'm gonna write another One Piece fanfic, however considering that I have been noticing that there are people (aside from myself) who is a fan of Bartolomeo, I decided to give writing about him a try🔰😃👍

*This fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

🔰Why Do Want To Join My Crew?🔰(Bartolomeo x Afab (assigned female at birth) Reader)

Genres: Comfort, Possible Smut, Possible Angst (Warnings +18⚠️: Sexual Comments, mentions of cheating (niether the reader nor Barto are part of cheating), Language, possible mentions of jealousy, alcohol use (and reference))

You were one of Bartolomeo's childhood friends and one of his secret crushes. While he did worship Luffy since the incident in the Loguetown where he saw Luffy escape from Buggy (which prevented Buggy from executing Luffy), you are also very, precious to him in many ways. Unfortunately, you had a boyfriend before at the time prior to Bartolomeo becoming a captain of his own crew and what makes things worse for Barto is the fact that your boyfriend is a captain of his own crew, because you ended up joining your boyfriend's crew before Luffy inspired Barto to become a pirate and even joined your boyfriend's crew (and dated him) before Barto was able to confess his love for you.

Bartolomeo was happy for you and all, however eversince he met your boyfriend (and captain), he always has been feeling off about him. Barto has been tolerating him, especially to save your feelings, however there was just something he doesn't like about your boyfriend. Barto wasn't sure if he was jealous of your captain or if there was another reason he's easily irritated deep down, however he just has always felt off about that captain who you were in a relationship with.

Sometime after Bartolomeo and his crew formed an alliance with the Strawhats (Luffy and his crew), it became a coincidence that he bumped into you, as he notices you were currently in the same exact area of the same village without the captain or any of the rest of the captain's crew. Barto was surprised and excited to see you (even though he tried his best to contain his excitement). You were actually low-key happy to see him, as you gave him a hug. You asked him about how he has been doing and he actually was more than happy to tell you about his adventures with his crew, how he met his hero Luffy and other stuff he was super excited to tell you, even tough he believes that you only wanted to check on him to see how he was doing, as friends do. You listened to every word he told you, as you admitted being happy to hear that he's doing well. After he finished talking about his adventures, you then asked, "I hate to intrude on you or anything, however may I join your crew? Navigator or possibly any position you set me up in for your crew? If I can't join your crew, may I atleast tag along for a while, Barto?".

Bartolomeo was actually confused and surprised that you have asked the questions that you had asked him, as it took him a minute to think about your questions, as he then answered, "I'm confused... You want to join my crew? We will talk about that later, considering that I thought you were in a crew with, (captain name).", as he then smiled ashe continued, "However you can certainly tag along with me and my crew... I certainly don't mind...". You were actually glad he was going to let you atleast tag along, however you were surprised with his answer. It's not actually about his confusion, however it was how he answered you, as you somehow, expected him to not even let you tag along.

It was sunset, when you and Bartolomeo went on his ship and you were fascinated with how his ship was set up. You then asked him, if he did have his own room and if you could have alone time in his room if he did have his own room on his ship, which made him blush and was surprised you asked him this, so ofcourse he's going to tell you yes. He would never turn down any opportunity to hangout with you, especially without that captain you were around alot.

The next thing you did was follow Bartolomeo inside his room, as you became very fascinated to see, how he decorated his room. "I see, you liked what I did with decorating my room, (Afab reader name)...", he happily cooed before offering you an alcoholic beverage he knew you enjoy drinking. Once the both of you started drinking, he then said, "I will admit... I was shocked you asked me the questions and I'm honestly most shocked about the fact you asked me to let you join my crew... As much as I would be more than happy to let you join my crew, let me get something straight... You were in a crew with your boyfriend (captain name), who I thought was still your captain... I really don't know what to make of this... So, if you don't mind, I would like to hear your explanation on any motives you might have about asking me to let you join my crew, (Afab reader)...", as your questions from earlier were the main things that crossed his mind, as he was having mixed feelings of concern, happy, and frightened, while making sure not to jump to any conclusions about your questions you asked him earlier.

You were annoyed about something he said, as you were trying to keep as calm as possible as you explained, "It's complicated, Barto... I really thought my captain loved me... A few months ago, he had me fetch him a keg of beer... Unfortunately after I got back to his ship with a keg of beer I fetched for him, I caught him and another crew member having sex together... I snapped asking the both of them what's going on, to let them know I caught him cheating, because it was fucken obvious that he was letting her ride on him... After I asked, they were shocked I caught them, then they stopped fucking together, as he then told me that he no longer wants to be with me and I'm no longer his navigator... I was confused as I asked what did he mean by what he said, because I thought I have been doing an amazing job as a navigator and I treated him well, so he told me this woman who is part of his crew is my replacement, because I'm so horrible in bed that he couldn't help look at me anymore and that if anyone else finds out how horrible I would be to have sex with, they would cheat on me and/or wouldn't want me in their crew and that I would be the most unlovable person, where I'd be the most impossible to love... So, his philosophy is that if I'm horrible in bed, then I'm also a horrible navigator, crew mate, and lover anyone could ever have... So, eversince (captain name) started fucking his mistress who is his other fucken crew mate, dumped me, and kicked me out of his crew, I pretty much traveled alone... I did overhear plenty of people talk about your hero Luffy, his crew, you, and your crew often... Tough I haven't talked to anyone until we bumped into eachother and it was a complete coincidence... I'm actually surprised you still talked to me... I mean I wasn't trying to get at anyone nor was I being desperate by any means... I just want you to know I want to make things right, if I do join your crew... Just ask me for anything and I will try my best for whatever you ask... Tough, I might be terrible at anything you ask me to do, to warn you...", before you looked down at the floor. Barto was shocked about what he heard from you, however he was still confused about what you meant when you said about making things right. He also notices your felt really degraded.

Bartolomeo then asked, "What do you mean when you said about making things right? And doing anything I ask even tough you believe you can't do things right? Do you actually believe you have to be perfect in bed to be considered as someone'a amazing significant other and a great navigator?". You then began to sob, as you broke down in tears, proceeding to hug him. Barto then had his arms around you, while petting your head with his left hand. He just truly felt bad for what your ex captain (who is your ex boyfriend) did to you. Now Barto figured that no matter if he was jealous of (captain name) or not, he now has found a reason why he couldn't stand your ex. Your ex turned out to be that bad, after all.

Bartolomeo then calmly said, "You don't have to worry about being good at everything, sweetie... Infact, nobody is perfect... I can just tell from what you're telling me, he hurt your self-esteem really bad... Since you seemed to have good motives to join my crew, I will let you join... Just hear me out... I've been wanting to tell you this for a very long time... I had been in love with you for a long time... Even before I became inspired by my hero Luffy, to become a captain of my own crew... I will understand, if you only like me, as a friend... I rather not pressure you into anything... I just want you to be yourself... Fuck what anyone else thinks of you, (Afab reader name)... Sorry to say this, but fuck what your ex thinks of you, too... I knew something was off about him, it's just I didn't know he would stoop low as he did... Even Luffy would be ashamed of him, because how much of a disgrace he turned of to be, if he was to find out about it... I shit you not... Luffy would also be very livid to hear what your ex did to you, needless to say... I'm saying this, out of a captain's love, considering I will be your new captain now and you asked me to join your crew... So, all I'm asking you is to not push yourself into any favors, and you to be your own person... Seriously... Just because I have a huge crush on you and I'm your captain now doesn't mean, you have to throw yourself at me and be an object to pleasure me... Okay, (Afab reader name)?". You then stop sobbing, as you replied, "Okay, Barto... Thank you for being there for me, especially when I needed you... And may I hug you, atleast a little longer?". He then replied back, "No problem and go ahead... And that's what I'm here for, so hug me, as long as you need to, my precious angel...".

After that evening or night, you began to realize you were a part of a crew that really cares about you. Yes, even your captain Bartolomeo truly cares about you, obviously. It did took some time, however you and Barto took some time with your relationship with him, considering that it turned out, you felt the same way for him, as he does for you. It's like the both of you are soulmates, who are destined to be together.

A bonus for Bartolomeo is when he saw your ex hanging out with his mistress, Barto madesure to wait for your ex's mistress to go to another area, where your ex would be alone, before Barto does beat the crap out of your ex. The way Barto beat up you ex (captain name) alone, will tell your ex how Barto truly feels about him and Barto madesure your ex paid for what he did to you.

🔰The End🔰

Okay my Tumblr Peeps😃👍While I did get inspired to write some ideas down for this particular One Piece fanfic, I honestly have been wanting to write a fanfic about Bartolomeo for a while, especially before reading some fanfics pertaining him and a few fanfics that pertain characters from a different anime😁🔰While it's rare I write about the character beating up the reader's ex (which was something I have written in 1 of my Bleach fanfics), for this fanfic it was kinda a last minute idea while writing this fanfic😅 Aside from the character, no matter what character I write about I honestly wanted to write a fanfic with some ideas the way I have written this fanfic and I did my best to be creative with this fanfic best I could think of writing🔰💡😃👍As for grammar, if I made any spelling or grammar mistakes, it might be because I really wanted to write this fanfic about Bartolomeo and I may have rushed with the fanfic where I forgot to check it😅 Otherwise I hope you enjoyed this fanfic about him, and I really had fun writing this fanfic about Barto🔰😁👍

*Fun Fact: While I was reading one of the chapters of One Piece, for what Bartolomeo did to the guys talked trash about Luffy, I honestly don't blame Barto at all and this is why I have tons of respect for Barto🔰Ofcourse he's 1 of the characters I'm keen on😃🔰

[incorrect-quotes-from-she-ra]

Catra: I'm a high-functioning alcoholic. We prefer to do our serious drinking alone. So that when we weep, we can wallow in self-loathing without embarrassment.

[frozensriracha]

💙🖤Fluffy Eyeless Jack Headcanons🖤💙

AW YEAH SEXY DEMON MAN TIME YOU GUYS

he’s 6’8, built like a greek god, and could bench press you

also the most well-kept of the male pastas

showers every day, brushes and flosses his teeth 2-3 times a day (likely due to the others’ complaints about kidney breath,) wears deodorant, and does his laundry on the regular

one of slender’s secret favorites without trying

he can play the acoustic guitar! he first learned late in high school to impress a girl, and later joined a band with a couple of his buddies. he’s memorized where the strings and tuning pegs are and still knows a couple of songs, and sometimes he’ll play a song for the pastas

ej, jane, hoodie, and masky are workout buddies! sometimes they go for a run or hike in slender forest together and they occasionally pack a lunch and eat together

in school, he was that one kid everyone asked to copy the homework of

because he’s a good influence, he just helped them with it, maybe let his buds copy a problem or two they were really stuck on

however, if he really hated a person and they asked him to copy his homework, he’d get an extra copy of the work from the teacher, fill it out all wrong, and let them copy that one while his real homework was safely tucked away in his backpack

he’s not very proud of it but at the same time he has no regrets

you guys,,, ej is a big softie for dogs

not only has he joined masky in convincing slender to get some proxy attack dogs to baby and call good boys/girls, but he discovered a female hellhound and started feeding her. he named her artemis, and she’s good friends with seedeater

she recently had a litter of 4 or so puppies, and he helped deliver them, and sally got to name them

on that note, he is very sweet to sally, will 100% scare the pastas into coming to her tea party and wear a tutu for her (and maybe brimg cookies)

he’s not one for pranks and stupidity, but he is passive-aggressive as fuck

once, one of ej’s victims had prepared a lovely rare steak with roasted veggies and buttery dinner rolls, and having not had a home cooked meal in a long time (and living off kidneys, ramen, and black coffee,) ej helped himself and brought the rest home hoping to have it for lunch the next day. well, he’d made the mistake of putting it in the communal fridge and jeff ate it all. come christmastime, ej got jeff for secret santa, and so he made a rare steak, roasted veggies, and buttery dinner rolls and put it in jeff’s stocking since he clearly loves it so much.

moral of the story: don’t touch a broke young adult’s leftovers. we will fuck. you. up.

yes yes ik i’m technically 2 1/2 months away from adulthood but still don’t mess with my leftovers >:((

likes horror, sci-fi, and sometimes mystery novels along with nonfiction books (usually about biology but sometimes cody recommends a good chemistry journal) and has a large collection of them in braille and a lot of audiobooks downloaded onto his phone

he also listens to podcasts, his favorites are ologies and welcome to night vale (both fantastic, check them out!)

he and cody are science buddies, sometimes they conduct experiments together

loves heat, HATES the cold, if slender has a fire in the fireplace he spreads out in front of the fire and will not move until some of the pastas pluck up the courage to move him.

he has three tongues, one main one and two longer, thinner side ones, both of which are bifurcated like a snake’s. the main one is pierced, and he once tried to pierce the others so they matched. it didn’t end great, but it could have ended much worse.

the mom friend and voice of reason among the pastas, usually the designated driver if they go out together

that being said, he does have a rather,,,, feral side

once, toby came down for a glass of water in the middle of the night and he found ej devouring poptarts, wrapper and all. when he saw toby shining his flashlight on him, he hissed and flew up to the top of the fridge

they agreed never to talk about it

uses echolocation to hunt

ok, hot take: ej has a tail. it’s kind of like a cow’s tail, but it’s gray with a tuft of brown-auburn hair at the end and six and a half feet long

he also has pawlike hands and feet with claws, which he sometimes paints black

he can be summoned with “pspspspspspsps”

despite all the paranormal goings-on around him and being host to a demon, he remains stubbornly logical

he has tattoos on his chest and arms that look kind of like this:

he makes nests! he has an ass-ton of blankets and pillows and a few stuffed animals that

if he’s comfy enough with someone, he’ll invite them into his nest and snuggle them ^_^

but only if they’re okay with it because CONSENT IS FUCKING IMPORTANT

he has a few demon host friends in hell that he visits via the hell portal near slender mansion (see slenderman general headcanons +mansion au headcanons to see what i’m talking about), they’ve all bonded over their demons’ mutual bullshit

and speaking of his demon’s bullshit, there’s a rather,,,,,,,,,, interesting crackship i have involving chernabog

you see, the nightwraith is also possessed by a demon: the heart of darkness. after a weird ass roleplay with someone some years ago, i started shipping the two demons. ej and nighty, however, are not together in my canon, and they don’t really appreciate it when their demons make out with each other and they’re both standing there awkwardly like 5 feet away

they’ve tried to break up their demons before, but they’ve not been successful so they’ve stopped trying and just kinda sit there and play go fish or smth while cherna and the heart smooch

god i could go on about that ship but that’s a post for another day

i could also go on about ej but i probably shouldn’t please stop me i’m procrastinating again

or don’t. ej’s amazing

@hell-isnt-that-hot @blue-mask-boii COME GET YALL JUICE >:))

[are-you-being-sirius]

My dad, two drinks in, walks into the room and says “you can’t buy class but you can buy ass”

[frozensriracha]

Meet my gift ocs for @idrawstuffidk, Ciel Moreau (or Bébé, as they’re most commonly known,) and Pépi-Pierot!

This is kinda long, so it’s going under the cut.

Ciel’s mother, Juliette, had always dreamed of stardom, and the minute she turned 18, she moved with her twin sister, Anaïs, to Neuilly-sur-Seine in hopes of becoming an actress. However, she became pregnant shortly after, and she gave birth to her first child: Madeleine.

Madeleine was clumsy, uncoordinated, shy, and didn’t enjoy performing, preferring to stay in her room and read or play with the stray cats outside the apartment. In addition, she was not viewed as conventionally attractive by Juliette. However, her mother didn’t care, and still tried to live out her dreams through Madeleine. Madeleine would frequently have breakdowns off-camera, leading Juliette to furiously attempt to cover them up to preserve her image. She was successful in hiding them from everyone except Anaïs, with whom Madeleine had a very close relationship.

Anaïs was absolutely livid upon finding out, and she brought a lawsuit against Juliette hoping to take custody of Madeleine. When it started looking like Anaïs was going to win the suit and custody of Madeleine and she was going to have to face legal ramifications and her public image would be ruined, Juliette decided that the only way to preserve her image and fix the problem of Madeleine and Anaïs would be to kill Madeleine.

So one day, when Madeleine was going home from school, Juliette shot her in the head and disposed of the body in the Seine, where it washed up days later near Le Havre. Anaïs was devastated, and Juliette pretended to be as well to gain pity from the media. Madeleine was 12 years old. Her vengeful spirit would haunt the area where she died until Juliette became pregnant again.

Three years after Madeleine’s death, her spirit noticed her beloved aunt entering a toy store and leaving some minutes later with a clown doll, which she named “Pépi-Pierot.” Interested, Madeleine followed Anaïs home, where she met her baby sibling, Ciel. Madeleine saw the perfect opportunity to get revenge on Juliette, so she possessed Pépi-Pierot and began to talk to Ciel as Pépi, calling herself an imaginary friend.

Ciel grew up to be not only conventionally attractive (most notably, they had babyface, which earned them the stage name Bébé,) but graceful, charismatic, and genuinely enjoyed performing as well, which thrilled Juliette. However, if Ciel slipped up the slightest bit, acted like anything other than the perfect child actor, or didn’t want to do anything Juliette was forcing them to do, she would explode and later try to buy back their affections with gifts. Ciel saw through her acts (partially because of Pépi) and quickly lost interest in performing.

Like she was with Madeleine, Anaïs was similarly protective of Ciel, and often hid them from Juliette in her own apartment. It’s worth noting that Anaïs had no children of her own, thus, she had no toys in her apartment, which meant Ciel would spend a lot of time with Pépi. At first, being a child, Ciel didn’t see anything wrong about a clown doll that could speak to them or move on its own. Anaïs and Juliette took no notice either; the former believed it to be a coping mechanism and the latter dismissed it as an imaginary friend or a game. Ciel brought Pépi everywhere they went, which at first irritated Juliette, but when producers starting thinking it was cute, she encouraged them to bring Pépi to the set.

It started off small at first. Pépi would encourage Ciel to hide some prop or mess with the camera settings, nothing more than very minor inconveniences. But they were enough to make Juliette have a fit and punish Ciel and downplay them when Anaïs came asking. At first they were confused, but later, they grew mad. They asked Pépi what to do, since they were scared of making Juliette angry, but they didn’t want her to be happy. Pépi told Ciel that punishments weren’t just for children; they could be given to misbehaving grownups as well.

So, the next day, Ciel locked Juliette in their dressing room and left her there for several hours. Although they only did it out of necessity at first, Ciel grew to be satisfied whenever he would mirror one of the cruel “punishments” Juliette gave them, which sent her into even more rages. Ciel and Pépi began to give her even more “punishments” which became even more extreme. It came to a head when Ciel set fire to Juliette’s gala dress. Anaïs later approached them after the fact, and asked them what had made them do that. Ciel told her that Pépi had made them do that, and while Anaïs was telling them that Pépi wasn’t real and they should come to her and let her deal with Juliette, Juliette overheard.

The very next day, after getting rid of Pépi and locking Ciel in their room, Ciel escaped through the window and went to Anaïs’ apartment, where they told her what happened then and for the last nine years. Anaïs didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Madeleine, so she hid Ciel in the bedroom while she called the police. As the police arrived, Juliette made her way to Anaïs’ apartment, and when Anaïs refused to let her enter, she stabbed Anaïs in the side, causing her to lose a lot of blood and to require a blood transfusion.

Meanwhile, Ciel was trying to listen to what was happening, and suddenly, Pépi reappeared in the room when they weren’t looking. Pépi relayed everything to Ciel, and told them they thought it was time for Juliette’s final punishment. Ciel was 9 at the time, and they knew what murder was, but nobody had been there to tell Ciel what was wrong and what was right. So as Juliette was stalling the police, she went to get Ciel, only to see they weren’t there. As she turned around to go back, Pépi pinned her mouth shut and used two more to blind her, whereupon Ciel shot her with the same gun she used to kill Madeleine 24 years ago and stabbed her several times for good measure. Madeleine, now avenged, was able to pass on. Ciel realized what they had done, and fled their home. On their way away, Ciel noticed a father screaming at his son, brandishing an empty beer bottle, and looked at Pépi, remembering what Madeleine had told them.

“Punishments aren’t just for children.”

[ianthedisastrous]

Say Something // Tian

[Summary: Set the night of June 20th. With graduation a looming worry on both their minds something else throws a wrench into the already anxious air around Tony and Ian. And sometimes, well, people do the worst things when they need to be at their best. Sometimes things. People. Plans. They all break.]

IAN Ian was busy, again. It didn't actually matter that it was far too late in the evening to be cleaning the apartment, given the recent confirmation from his mom that he was by design a nocturnal elf he had stopped trying to argue it with himself. It was logic really; aside from Sundays when he actually did his weekly entire clean of his shared space with Tony after the week had left their home a bit too messy for his comfort, nights when the other man was at The Court past dark were the easiest to straighten things up without the task being set aside to talk or watch movies instead.

And he could have been studying magic, yes, but he needed a break.

Stress relief for Ian most easily came in the form of meticulously removing things from shelves and cleaning them before returning them to the spots he had all but memorized, cleaning the general dust of the week and returning the slow chaos of living back to an organized version of itself.

Familiarity was a soothing sensation to his often scattered thoughts and nerves. Rearranging the post-it notes stuck to various spots all over the apartment, leaving small lists of things to do and things they needed stuck to the fridge, and more personal, yes, sticking notes to Tony's bedroom door over things that were less reminders and more just teasing commentary over little things like was he ever going to clean his bedroom or how Frito was a menace for knocking things over. That too had become such an ingrained part of life that Ian barely recalled anything else, and certainly purposely overlooked how his and Tony's lives had become less separate.

Maybe that was self-indulgent, yes, but maybe in those little things and the ease between them was the only way Ian felt he could really get away with loving him without ruining their friendship.

So Ian cleaned and kept himself occupied, moving from one end of the apartment to the other and had just finished shutting Tony's bedroom door, that was one of the few spots he wouldn't try to organize because it was Tony's specifically, after leaving a few stray books the other man had left on the couch there when he turned towards the hallway and spotted something near the door; the backpack Tony took to work with him.

It wasn't entirely unusual that Tony might forget it, but that didn't happen very often unless he had rushed out the door because he was running behind on time.

Ian shrugged, shaking his head with an amused chuckle, and moved to grab one of the bag's straps, not wanting to leave it by the door for Tony to trip over when he came home tired from the long evening. He didn't notice the bag being unzipped until a few steps later when it tipped as he reached for Tony's bedroom door, spilling most of the contents across the floor and causing him to grumble and kneel down to pick everything up; brow furrowing as he stared down the stray pills that had fallen out of the bag holding the rest.

For a moment he almost convinced himself he was overreacting, that it wasn't as excessive as he thought, almost. But he couldn't, because the nagging awareness remained.

He didn't want to touch anything, at all, but he didn't want the dogs nosing around either so he shoved everything back inside and stalked into the kitchen to set the bag on the counter, still not exactly certain how to process the discovery.

TONY

Nights at the Court were long. It was Pride Month and, while most of the traffic was going in Pixies' direction, they were still jampacked on good nights like these. Tony helped make and deliver drinks, made sure that Jess and the other girls were well taken care of in the back, and even had to tell Chadrick that he was a little out of line and needed to go home and cool off before he could come back.

All in all, a typical Court of Miracles night.

However, he'd forgotten his work bag at home, which was annoying on flowing nights like these. Roscoe hadn't noticed, thankfully, just watched in the way he always did and minded his own business.

It was late, always late, when he returned home to the flat with Ian and all he wanted to do was eat the last of the leftover vegetarian meatballs he'd made for him and Ian a few nights prior. After he ate he was set to crash hard.

It was nearly graduation, Tony could practically feel the surge in magic in the air around him (though he was probably just imagining it). He was less worried about Ian this time around, if Ian was able to crack the curse twice maybe it wouldn't be so hard a third time, but worried he still was. Losing Ian at this point would feel like losing a limb.

Tony knew he was in love with Ian, that much was never in question. What was in question was the ethics of informing Ian of the fact. Tony was trapped in this life and the more Ian wrapped himself up in Tony's repetitive world the more he'd be held back from living a full life. Tony couldn't do that, couldn't allow himself to drag Ian down into the fullest depths of his curse.

Ian still had a chance at a normal life. Tony couldn't take that away.

"Hey, Ian," Tony called as he stepped through the doorway, scratching Frito behind the ears as she greeted him at the door. It wasn't a surprise to him when Ian was up when he returned, the blue-haired roommate hardly ever slept thanks to his elven genes. Tony didn't envy him for that, sleep was a reprieve from time for him.

He slid his shoes off in their proper place carefully as to not trip over the excitable pup and padded his way into the kitchen to warm up his meal.

"I swear, the only good thing about the reset is I can stop lying all day every day about uni. I'm so sick of pretending I'm gonna be starting music production courses in the fall. It's just depressing." His tone was conversational, light, but there was a bite at the edges of his words to betray him.

IAN Ian felt a flicker of bitter irony in Tony's complaints when he heard them, or maybe it was the way they settled like a rock in the pit of his stomach. Tony lied to everyone, it was in some ways a necessity of the curse, and to be fair Ian lied too, often to the people he was closest too, for the same reasons. In the span of time he and Tony had lived together Ian had become uncomfortably better at lying to people; because it really was too hard trying to explain a curse nobody believed in the first place.

But he liked to think Tony didn't lie to him much; why would he even need to?

Some part of Ian, admittedly the part that probably tried too hard to always look for the benefit of doubt for people, wanted to think there was a perfectly good explanation for it all that he just didn't see.

But to find out, well, he had to actually have the conversation.

"Yeah," he agreed, distracted as he sat at the counter; he hadn't been there the entire time since grabbing Tony's bag in the hallway but had eventually ended up lingering in the spot trying to decide how to ask the questions he wanted answers for. He hesitated, Tony looked tired, but could he really ignore the sinking feeling that had been plaguing him?

No, even though he wished he could.

"Tony, I have to ask you-" he paused, restless as his fingers tapped against the counter and he tried to settle on the bar stool. "You left your bag here." He tried again, a different approach, that pins and needles feeling nagging at him and making it all feel worse.

He cast a glance towards the bag on the counter, brow furrowed. "I didn't know it was open when I picked it up since it was in front of the door." And there was another pause, because he wanted to...what? Give Tony a chance to say it so he didn't have to ask? Let him address the problem? Or maybe in some small way he was hopeful Tony would just be honest and say something rather than act like he didn't know what he was talking about. But even the truth, well, it couldn't have been anything good.

Ian drew a slow breath, not realizing he had been tense enough to have forgotten to do so for a few seconds.

TONY

Tony popped the fridge open to grab the Tupperware so he could place it in the microwave. Yes, it would be better if he warmed it up in the oven or stove again but he didn't want to spend the time that would take.

Autopilot seemed to take over his body in the late hour as Ian began to talk, Tony humming his acknowledgement that Ian wanted to have a conversation. This was not an uncommon occurrence in their flat, the pair spoke about anything and everything in the early hours of the night. The world felt quieter, more gentle, in the dark. More fragile.

It wasn't until the words You left your bag here that Tony's ears pricked up and he turned his gaze toward his roommate. Tony had been very careful in the past to keep the contents of his work bag hidden from his best friend, not wanting to worry Ian over how he got most of the paycheck he was receiving from The Court of Miracles.

Tony didn't want to fight with Ian, nor did he want to worry his best friend about things like his drug running. It was a simple part of his schedule, hardly something he even considered after all these years. Since Roscoe had taken over the Court and reopened the business so it had been. He was a part of the Court and it was a part of him. He held no guilt there.

That didn't mean, however, that there was no guilt in the secret he hid from Ian whenever he went to work.

"It's not mine," the words slipped from his lips before he could think them through, though he was somehow capable of keeping his tone even. "It's Roscoe's, actually." He debated in that moment trying to lie, trying to push this conversation to the shadows where it belonged but if he knew Ian, and he liked to think that he did, he knew that the older boy would not accept pushing this away.

"It's.. complicated."

IAN It didn't seem very complicated to Ian, actually, but he stopped himself from pointing that out and tried to look for any sort of reasoning in the vague explanation. But he could find none; there was nothing there he could lure himself into some excuse for the why to it, nothing he could convince himself to tilt his opinions in Tony's favor, logical or not, that time.

"Complicated how? Of course it's not yours, if you were doing drugs that much you'd be dead," he really hoped Tony didn't think he was that dense; Ian didn't like addressing the topic but he knew perfectly well the sort of addictions Tony had, and he had been desperately hopeful it was getting better and the distance between him and those vices was growing wider.

But that wasn't likely; Tony was right in the middle of it all.

He didn't ask why Tony had lied to him, or at least avoided telling him the entire truth, he knew why; because he was going to be upset about it and Tony probably didn't think he could handle that.

Maybe Tony was right, somewhat; he couldn't handle it well because it scared him to think of what might happen because of those drugs, but he'd had to handle a dozen other tense situations in the last few months and none of those had been easy either.

If he had to, he could; but he couldn't even try if Tony kept lying to him.

"Tony, what are you even doing? This is..." Ian shook his head, frustration edging up on him, "You're supposed to be getting away from things like this, not putting yourself right there where you're around it all the time! We talked about that, not...this...exactly, but you didn't even tell me about this part."

TONY

Tony stopped himself short from replying that he couldn't die. At least, he couldn't stay dead but that was an conversation that was just as circular as he was expecting this one to be.

He hadn't wanted to face this, the fact he was addicted to Fey's had been hard enough the previous year. Ian worried so much, fretted over things that Tony had long since dismissed as not worth the energy to concern himself with. It made sense to him, he'd been stuck in this stage of life much longer than Ian had even been a possibility in the universe. He simply didn't have the energy to expend on it.

"'Getting away from things like this,'" Tony repeated, his tone deadpan as he echoed his roommate's words. "I told you that I was weaning myself off of it, trying to use it as little as possible, but I.. I didn't say that." He rubbed the back of his neck, the task he'd started falling to the wayside as he debated how better to tackle this situation.

"I have access through the Court," he admitted, "because I work for Roscoe. I've worked for Roscoe Sykes since the Court of Miracles opened. I think Jess knows, though she's never asked questions, thankfully. I've been lucky that way, but I assume that's why she started feeding me in the first place. She's sweet like that."

He tried to keep his tone light, conversational, as though they were discussing something that had happened at school rather than the reality of his occupation. He'd never admitted it to anyone who wasn't already in the know.

Why would he? That only caused problems like this.

IAN Things were never as simple as black and white, Ian kept reminding himself; sometimes situations were more complicated than any easy solution. People were complicated, it was hard to understand the perspective outside your own; a person had to stay aware of that. Excuses were necessary in some situations.

But, no, Ian realized as Tony nonchalantly shrugged it off; maybe sometime those things were true. But sometimes, they were just selfish excuses.

"Of course you didn't say it, it was easier not to say it and just lie to me." He felt the pinprick of tension edge up his spine, unfamiliar, anger. "And you were just going to keep lying to me. Because it was easier for you; and you still don't care about how the things you do affect anyone else!"

Ian didn't know what to say, there was a blur of words choking him and he knew they weren't kind or calm or maybe even reasonable but his chest was tight with a sensation a close cousin to panic, rooted into disbelief and frustration and even a little hurt that was acutely sharp, blinding.

"The curse isn't an excuse anymore Tony, it never was, it's just a crutch to do whatever you want and pretend like nothing matters, that nobody matters unless you want them to; what are you going to do when we break the curse and...what, then you'll listen to somebody? I don't even mean me, I'm fucking delusional thinking you do that anyway when I have to practically beg you to be careful, I mean anybody, because that's when your excuses run out and things are real again."

His hand had fallen to the counter and Ian pushed away from, full of restless, anxious energy. "You didn't have to lie to me about this! I'm not as fragile as you think I am, that's not even fair; you even know a lot of what I've had to deal with and act like I don't know how to pull it back together after things fall apart; like I wouldn't try to help regardless. I shouldn't have to fight just to try to help you! I shouldn't have to-" Ian stopped himself, biting back the selfish words that he knew would only make it worse.

I shouldn't have to fight just to make you see how much I care about you.

TONY

Tony bristled and tensed as Ian spoke more and more, feeling himself start to get that desire to run far away from this spot. Rather than do that, though, Tony dug his heels in and did the only other thing he knew how to do when someone got under his skin; he fought.

"I wasn't trying to lie to you about this and this is less to do with the curse itself than anything else! You have no idea what it's like to do things to survive. I can't die, sure, but if I starve to death or freeze to death or whatever else then that's still me experiencing that! So sure, I work a sketchy job to make ends meet but that doesn't fucking matter. I don't have to answer to you how I pay the bills, do I? Do I have to get your approval on everything I do before I do it?!"

Tony's face was red as his volume rose, not even being careful to keep his voice down lest Errol hear through the walls. Let him, it wasn't as though he could hold sway over Tony for much longer anyway.

"I don't think you're fragile," he huffed, raking his fingers through his hair. "Though you have the audacity to judge me for my drug situation when you can't go to a single function without a drink. Don't think I haven't noticed." He glowered at Ian, not sure where Ian was going with the comment about helping him. "I've told you time and time again that you don't have to help me. That's your choice. If that's too difficult for you then why are you here?"

IAN "Are you even listening to yourself right now?" Ian didn't know what else to say, he was so caught off guard by that logic that it felt like a physical pain. "How often in the last year has your life been that bad? Before, fine, you're right, I have no idea. But you're not suffering and struggling, Tony; even if you were you're not alone. You won't listen to anybody trying to help you! You won't let anyone; do you actually think I'd just ignore it if you needed help?"

There was something hazardous in facing the world alone; sometimes people forgot their bravado was meaningless, they just kept trying to prove themselves when there was no need. Something so deeply offensive about needing other people that they still lived in a world drawn around themselves; Ian couldn't understand it.

It felt like a low blow but Ian didn't care, if Tony was reaching for reasons like that he was just deflecting; Ian knew perfectly well it wasn't a good habit, probably far more than he really wanted to admit. "So what? You want to compare the two? Which one is more likely to kill somebody? Both? I don't plan to test the theory since your drugs would just kill me flat out anyway; and you still want to hide that?"

Maybe that was what splintered under his skin finally though, the argument he had been carrying from the start, the one that had begun to dig into places more sharp and secret than Ian knew how to admit.

"It's not my choice if you keep telling me you don't want me here!" He snapped, the icy feeling in the pit of his stomach lurched and he realized this was some strange, horrifying point of no return; this razored honesty. "Do you think you're doing me a favor reminding me I can go? That I don't have to be here? Because it doesn't take long for that to stop sounding like 'you don't have to be here' and more like 'I'm feeling guilty that you still are so I don't want you here anymore'. How many times do I have to say yes before you stop doubting me?"

For a moment the chill cut through his anger and was just as unfamiliar; the tight ache of anxiety in his chest he knew, but it was something different. Something that felt like a tenuously built frame just collapsing. "You're never going to believe me."

Ian wasn't certain if it was pain or exhaustion that ate at him then, the anger seemed a distant throb in comparison to that disorientating realization. He couldn't accept it, he couldn't be there.

He couldn't be there; the feeling was almost liquid in his thoughts, his veins, a surge of incredibly restless motion that tore through him. It was frightening; that distinctly nauseating panic.

"I'm leaving," he wasn't sure if he said the words out loud or thought them, but in either case before they were fully formed in his thoughts he had abandoned the counter, the kitchen, every other coherent awareness other than how he couldn't breathe and needed to break his own circular thoughts just to do even that. Everything was all wrong and Ian couldn't do this; he didn't know how to fight, and somewhere between fear of what he might say and frustration of things he should have there was only a void that he did not know how to navigate.

TONY

Tony bit his tongue as Ian talked about how good his life had been for the last year. He didn't know how to respond to it because Ian was right, his last year of life had been great. He'd had Ian with all of his memories and all of his care. He hadn't been alone physically or emotionally in a full year. It had felt like a secret oasis that the pair of them had cultivated together.

It also didn't feel real.

Tony wanted to say it, wanted to say that while he didn't think Ian was fragile he did feel like their life together was. At any moment the bubble would pop and Tony would be alone again, scared and fighting to survive but this time knowing that it was almost possible to achieve the life he so desperately wanted.

He didn't like lashing out, broke his heart to do so, but almost as if it was muscle memory he found himself doing it time and time again like a kicked dog biting their new owner.

"You knew what I was like when you signed up for this, Ian. I don't know what you expected from me."

Maybe he was too burned to live a normal life.

A hollow feeling sunk into Tony's chest as his anger fizzled out into despair. He knew he should fight to keep Ian in the flat, to smooth over his mistakes, but as he stared at the anger and pain on Ian's face it all felt so.. hopeless. He couldn't stop Ian, shouldn't stop Ian. He'd told himself that from the very beginning.

Ian deserved better than broken things. Tony was damaged goods.

I don't want to trap you, came one fleeting reply across his mind.

You'd be better off if you left, hissed another.

I don't doubt your loyalty, a third whimpered in the dark. I doubt my ability to return mine without hurting you.

None of them crossed his lips. Instead he turned away, not wanting to watch as Ian left. He couldn't argue, not without the guilt sinking ever further into his bones. So he said nothing. The fire in his belly was replaced with cold soot instead as he stomped off toward his room.

It's better this way.