“You sold your soul… for some chicken nuggets?” Xal kept his head down. “It was lamb.” “You sold your so—” “I was really hungry.” Xal held out one hand, trying to physically push the discussion away, his right palm pressing his eye to the point he saw stars. “It was stupid. It was dumb. I know that. You don’t have to—” Sam’s voice cut in, much calmer and kinder than Dean’s. “How old were you?” “It doesn’t really matter, does it?” Xal looked at the younger brother with something like desperation in his eyes. “It was an idiotic thing to do no matter what, so—” “How old were you?” Sam repeated simply, no additional insistence in his voice. Xal hooked his thumbs in his pockets and looked up at the ceiling, groaning theatrically to hide the insecurities and memories coursing through him. “I was eight. Okay? I was eight, I was stupid, I was hungry and poor and never tasted lamb before, and did I mention I was stupid?” He started speaking faster, face turned to the floor and redder by the second, caught in a downhill tumble of wanting to keep his mouth shut because he was embarrassed and wanting to explain the context in detail because he was embarrassed. “I didn’t even know what a soul was. I didn’t understand life and death and—and all I knew about supernatural entities was that every other week, we would light stuff on fire that made us really high, only I didn’t know what high was back then, I just knew it felt good, and we would dance around, and it was supposed to give us protection and connect our souls to the heavens because the smoke went up, and you wanted your soul to go up because that’s where the heavens were, and if you didn’t go up with the smoke you got dragged down into the waters, and nobody wanted to go down there, but I didn’t know there was actually something down there, it was just like being afraid of the dark, and there was no concept of—” “Hey, hey, hey.” Sam took Xal by the shoulders and lowered his voice. “Deep breath.” Want is a Wasting Disease, Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Just Dropped And Here's the Amazing Artist And Here is Xal's Playlist












