stupid love
vance hated you. he hated the way you talked, the way you answered the teacher’s questions correctly every damn time, the way you smiled at everyone you saw. he hated your stupid friends, your stupid eyes, your stupid soft lips that he wished would just kiss him shut up! was it so hard to ask for? every hallway, there was always someone you were blabbing to. what could possibly be so interesting about that person that they could deserve your full, undivided attention? he won’t admit it, but he wishes that person was him. he’d rather lose at pinball than admit that he wants you to look at him that way. he wants you to look upon him with those soft, beautiful damn eyes with the love you so freely give away to the world. sometimes, vance bitterly thinks that you’re too good for this world. he thinks that no one this good should exist, and would be taken away sooner or later. maybe by the grabber. maybe by those stuck up dicks who play football like they’re some kind of god. vance didn’t know, but he knew your light wouldn’t last in this dark, goshforsaken world (sorry i cant bring myself to say the word). at least, that’s what he tells himself. vance doesn’t look it, but he yearns. god, he yearns. he yearns for someone to understand that beneath this shitty stereotypical bully facade of his, he just wants love. but he can’t admit it to anyone, not even himself. because admitting it would mean weakness. and the world has never rewarded weakness. you don’t survive this world by being soft. you survive by shutting everyone out. that’s how vance has been surviving, anyway. but he thinks this his world might just have a chance when you pass by him in the hallway, giving him that smile that he oh so adores. and when he looks into your eyes, he sees the same spark that explodes in his heart as soon as you’re in his line of vision. vance laughs gruffly to himself. “well damn. i might just have a motherfuckin’ chance.”
part 2
