☁ [for Piper]
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☁ = five times my muse has thought about yours, and the one time they do something about it.
1. THE FIRST TIME SHE DOES NOTHING.
it’s the day after their first meeting, and all that can cross piper’s mind is the raven haired woman she met in the bar last night. her pulse is pounding, butterflies are swarming inside her stomach as her mind swirls— tries to remember word for word, step by step how their encounter went. piper’s never thought about love at first sight, in fact she didn’t even believe in it. but the minute her eyes landed on the woman — locked with those devilish green orbs piper’s head was spinning and she couldn’t manage to tear her gaze away. she hadn’t planned to stay and have a drink, she made that decision on whim — eager to see more of the woman occupied by her friends. they hit it off straight away and piper had never felt such a connection, such strong feelings for somebody she had just met. but despite the girl swarming her thoughts, piper didn’t want to seem obsessed or so eager to see her again, so she forgets about the piece of paper with alex’s number written on it that’s stuffed at the bottom of her bag and instead she goes on with her day.
2. THE SECOND TIME SHE DOES NOTHING.
its been exactly two days since her blissful world fell apart. alex was in a relationship, she had a girlfriend, one that she lived with. how could piper have been so stupid to fall in love with a taken woman who was most likely playing her. she hates her, or wishes she did at least. because no matter how hard piper tries to be angry— be upset and move on from the girl, she can’t. alex lingers on her mind, she’s lodged herself deep into piper’s heart and she’s not even sure if she could possibly get the woman out of there. she wants to do something — call her up, profess her love or at least tell her she’s not mad— that she wants her if she’ll have her. but piper knows she can’t be so naive, she can’t be so weak and let people in who are no doubt going to rip her apart.
3. THE THIRD TIME SHE DOES NOTHING.
she steps off the plane in an attire she never thought she’d be caught dead in. she’s a nervous wreck, her pulse is beating rapidly and her pits are sweating as she walks to baggage claim. she’s never felt her heart pump so fast or pound so hard against her chest, she’s sure everybody within a ten foot radius can hear just how fast and loud her pulse is beating. she hates that she agreed to this, but she would do anything for alex — anything to be with her. so picking up a bag with money in it— it didn’t even sound that bad.
but she regrets it instantly when the bag doesn’t come, and the little french she knows and is trying to pull off to the man in front of her isn’t the easiest. piper was usually a patient woman, she could sit for hours and wait for things — but waiting for a bag full of money for a drug lord ? that’s not something she could be patient about. she wants to call alex, tell her what’s going on because she’s the only one who crosses through her mind and that can calm her down, even tell her what to do. but piper does nothing, she’s too afraid of alex being mad at her for possibly losing the bag. so piper sits down on the edge of the baggage claim and waits, waits till the next set of bags come through and hopes her one will come through.
4. THE FOURTH TIME SHE DOES NOTHING.
she’s wandering around the empty streets of france alone. she has nothing but her own company and a credit card handed to her by alex, she’s summoned off while the raven haired woman does some work. but piper’s not sure what to do and just wanders aimlessly till she comes across a small vintage shop with knocks and crannies inside. she heads in, wandering around till she comes across a locket — one that makes her think of alex. and a smile can’t help but form across piper’s face as her thumb brushes over the silver locket, turning it around to examine it properly and she thinks about alex wearing it — thinks about the girls face lighting up when she returns back to their hotel room with this. she’s almost tempted to call or leave a message for alex and tell her she’s getting her something special — but that would ruin the surprise, and knowing alex she would definitely think it was something sex related. which piper thinks isn’t the worst idea and that maybe she should buy some nice lingerie for her girlfriend and surprise her by wearing that as well.
5. THE FIFTH TIME SHE DOES NOTHING.
she’s going to prison. all because she smuggled drug money for a former flame. getting the letter made piper’s heart drop to her stomach, it made her entire world shatter and she immediately threw up all contents of breakfast that previous morning. she couldn’t believe this was happening — she had moved on. she was getting married to a man whom she loved more than anything. she had her own business with her best friend, she was leaving her reckless past where it was meant to be left and was focusing on her future. how could alex have done this to her ? why mention piper at all ? was it because piper left her after alex’s mother died ? piper still regrets that, she regrets walking away but she had too. if she didn’t leave then— she never would’ve. but surely alex wouldn’t have held such a grudge, surely alex hadn’t dropped her name in it and this was all some sick joke — it had to be. her life was so perfect and that woman was ruining it all over again. she wants to grab the phone book, track down alex and give her a piece of her mind. but she’s not sure what that will achieve. she has to call larry before she even thinks about calling alex because he was her person now, he was the love of her life now. she was marrying larry and she had to be honest with him no matter how much she wanted to bury her past.
6. THE SIXTH TIME SHE DOES SOMETHING.
her fist pounds against the wall, blood drips, staining the wall as her hand begins to throb — ache from smashing it again and again against a rock solid wall. the world around her is beginning to feel hazy and she feels nothing but anger fill up her insides. she wants to scream, to rip somebody apart — but she can’t. not without a guard hearing, not without being sent to psych or shu. there’s only one person that can make all of this feel better, take all this pain away and make her feel like she’s something —alex.
she knows the woman told her to pick, to choose between larry and her— god she was a fool to have picked larry— the scum who was screwing her ex best friend. she felt so betrayed and disgusted. she should’ve picked alex. the one person she would always love and never forget about. alex could turn a bad day away, make any and all pain go away. and she knows alex told her to never come to her again, but piper can’t help herself ; she’s selfish and needs alex. she leaves her cubicle and the room itself as she moves from hall to hall and down to alex’s end of the prison. the girl looks immaculate for being dressed up in a prison uniform. she’s sitting next to nicky on the bed and piper’s pulse is pounding, tears beginning to fill the rims of her eyes. ‘ alex———— ’ but piper’s cut off, told to leave and suddenly the world around her feels small. her teeth are pulling her lower lip into her mouth and she hates that out of all the times she’s thought of alex and never done something, that the one time she does she’s told to get lost.
