Author's Note: I'm trying to do one of these headcanon stuff; I hope these are okay. I write for the NHO men but if you want other characters put in the same scenario don't hesitate to ask!
//Etho
He's so casual about it and just accepted your request.
So much so that he takes the time to turn away from his blueprints to open his arm and pat his lap.
"Hm? What is it? Come here, I thought you wanted to hang out with me while I work?"
Well this backfired a bit.
But you're not going to step down now!
So you walk over to him and take a comfortable seat on his lap before he turns back to his redstone blueprint.
Honestly at this point you can do whatever you want.
You can pester him with kisses all over his jaw and neck, earning a few giggles from him. He doesn't mind the small distraction.
Or you can sleep, Etho is quiet in general when he knows no one is going to listen. But you can also ask him to explain about the things he's working on and he wouldn't mind rambling to you!
"Actually you know what would be great? Ice! I think it would look pretty neat if the slime piston can just push the items around instead of letting them go through the hoppers.. Or maybe..—"
Or you can just sit there, leaning your back against his chest while watching him scribble away. Listening to a bit of mumbling, muttering a bit of silent frustrated huffs from him.
If you passed out on him when you're on his lap, he'd leave the blueprints and tools on the table before carefully picking you up, and walking you over to a more comfortable surface like your shared bed. Of course looking at your cute face he'd coo and tease you a bit, but he's not as cruel as to purposely wake you.
"Don't worry you tried your best to stay up. Maybe I should take a picture.. Nah. I'll keep it in my memory bank. Sweet dream beloved."
Occasionally he sneaks an arm around your waist and just hugs you. His chin propped on your shoulder or the top of your head as he continued working.
Overall he's actually pretty normal about it, 10/10 would recommend.
//Docm77
Doc is.. Surprised. That was his initial response.
Neither of you have actually ever confessed that you wanted to cuddle or do any physical contact- After the initial politeness in the relationship, both of you just give physical affection to the other without words exchanged.
So with you suddenly being bold and asking him if you can sit on his lap baffled him!
"You wanted to.. What? Sit on my lap? Are you sure about it, Schatz? I can get you your own chair if you want t— Okay. Okay, of course you can, love."
He wouldn't mind, of course. Saying yes to your request as he watches you walk over to him and promptly making yourself comfortable leaning back against him.
He's a bit nervous though, somehow.
He's just worried you'd get uncomfortable sitting in his lap for too long. Not many of his body are flesh, so he's scared that his mechanic body may cause you discomfort.
"Are you alright? Do you want to stop? I can get you a blanket or a pillow?"
Reassure him by kissing his mechanical hand! Kiss where it hummed with redstone, and slowly move towards his skin.
He may not feel it when you kiss his mechanical part, but the sight of you just pressing your smiling lips to the palm of his hand is enough to make him run with affection.
He gets comfortable after you've done this a few times.
So comfortable to the point that he'd drag you into his lap, whether you ended up sitting on him or not, he'd have an arm wrapped around your waist as he told you about things.
"Come here, beloved. Look. I've got this part of the project planned out but I think I can thin out the layer of this side by a few blocks. What do you think?"
Overall 8/10. The metal is a bit cold and is actually hurting your butt, but you love him and he compensates by massaging your site spot later on.
//Vintagebeef
Mr Vintagebeef is a cuddle bear.
Your request shocked him. He just gave out a small gasp with his hand over his mouth while he slowly put down his cartography tool.
But he's quick to switch to a laugh before tugging you towards him!
"I don't know where you're getting these kinds of ideas from but I don't want to disappoint my lovely partner so- Come here!"
Beef is a hardworking man, but it doesn't mean that he'd deny such a precious request from his lover! Besides, he can use a little bit of emotional support every now and then.
He might look like he's not experienced with having his partner on his lap and that is true, but the way how he easily can hold you and make you steady on his lap while he works on his maps with the other hand actually surprised you.
He knows what he's doing! Well he doesn't, but you don't need to know that! He just subtly asks you every now and then if you need to get up or if you're uncomfortable. Very sweet indeed. He loves the affection but he doesn't want to keep you forever if you're tired!
"Do you need anything? Water? Food? No? Okay. Just tell me if you need to go get something alright? I'll be here for a while so just tell me if you need to go do some work yourself."
He'd sneak a kiss on your cheek, neck, hair, wherever is accessible to him, all while holding your waist and giving gentle squeezes on your side every now and then.
He'd listen to you talk, or he can do the talking, or the two of you can just stay there silently being a comfort to each other while he does his work.
Absolutely the best, 10/10. His laugh keeps you awake and his touch keeps you comfortable.
//Bdubs
Bold of you to assume you've never sat on his lap before.
Bdubs is always dragging you over for cuddles, he doesn't care about the position or about who gets to be the big spoon or who gets to be the small spoon, he just wants you to hold him and vice versa.
And one of those positions happens to be just sitting between his legs with your back leaned on him.
Just like Doc, it felt more like an act on intimacy that doesn't require words for it to be done.
But when you do ask him whether you can sit on his lap or not, he'd actually give a laugh.
"What nonsense are you talking about! Have you been hanging out with mister Zedaph? Silly goose, of course you can sit on my lap! Come here beloved."
Why are you so shy! He'd just pull your hand, walk towards the nearest chair, plopped himself down before tugging you down with him and snuggling into you.
He's super comfortable, too! This man knows his cuddle and he knows which position hurts your neck/back and which doesn't. And he's also super warm!
But unlike the other three before, Bdubs absolutely does not want to cuddle you when he is working.
He loves you to death but if you keep distracting him with cuddles and kisses, he might just need to ban you from his workspace!
He still loves you, though. You're just too distracting but he still has shops to take care of and attend to.
"No- No. Beloved listen to me. I need to get this print done before King Ren finds out that I haven't finished this quest after a week. Yes I do love you, I love you so much but I need to get this done okay. I promise you I'll take good care of you after this but for now you're banned from the office!"
Overall 1000/10. Super cuddly, very warm, very lovely, he is the cuddle bear master and you're never escaping his arms once you've fallen into it.
Yay under-appreciated hermits week! Beef is my absolute favorite and it is a CRIME that there is so little reader-insert fanfic for him, so here we are :-)
In which Beef and Y/n find each other in a downpour, and spend the long and drizzle-y walk home together <3
———
“Y/n!”
They spun on their heel at the sound, raising an arm to shield their face from the onslaught of rain they’d found themself caught in. His voice was instantly recognizable to them, its tone bright with concern. They squinted their eyes, just able to make out his form.
Beef stood a few yards away, a large yellow raincoat covering his torso. He had one hand on his hip, the other raised to his forehead. He appeared to be shielding his vision as well, watching them from a distance with large eyes.
Y/n winced with embarrassment, all-to-aware of their soaked clothes and general aura of misery. Still, they smiled at the bearded man, unable to help themself. Beef could do that to them, coax a smile even when they were drenched with downpour and shivering.
“Hey Beefy,” they called out pitifully, waving shyly with their free hand. It shook as they did so, fingers wrinkled and unsteady.
Beef was frowning at them by that point, and Y/n felt themself shrink beneath his gaze. They hated to see Beef upset. He was such a ray of sunshine on the server, always smiling and bringing joy to the hermits. It wasn’t often that he wore sadness on his sweet face.
“You’re soaked!” Beef announced, dropping the hand that shielded his eyes and walking toward them. It was then that Y/n noticed the rain boots he wore - bright yellow to match his coat. Mud stuck the bottoms of his shoes, and Y/n had to muffle a laugh at his ensemble. Still - he was far better prepared for the storm than they, so they kept their giggle to themself.
“I know,” Y/n teased, dropping their arm as well, accepting their watery fate. Beef was in front of them now, towering over them with concern. They looked up at him, meeting eyes with his blue irises. His lips were slightly parted, the hint of a smirk just barely gracing his expression. Y/n heart fluttered at the sight, taking pride in the fact that they'd made him smile, even if he was trying not to.
“What are you doing out here in this storm?” Beef asked, already shrugging off his coat. He pulled his arms out of the sleeves first, and then brought the whole thing over his head, disregarding the zipper at the front. Y/n watched unabashedly, eyes following his, now exposed, arms.
“Oh you know, enjoying the weather,” Y/n joked back, voice becoming muffled when the yellow coat was tugged over their head. Surprised by the motion, Y/n stood still, allowing Beef to maneuver the clothing piece until it was facing forward. He reached in from underneath, guiding their arms through the sleeves with a gentle touch. Y/n remained quiet, their skin burning with each slight graze of his fingers.
“You’re freezing!” Beef exclaimed once he’d gotten them situated in the jacket. He pulled his arms out from under the material, reaching over Y/n’ shoulder and pulling the hood over their head. Y/n watched him with careful eyes, basking in his closeness.
When Beef was finally satisfied with his work, he took a step back, hands falling to rest at his sides. Y/n nuzzled their head further into the coat, breathing in the familiar smell of the man stood across from them. It was earthy and warm, reminding them of late nights spent in the woods, or in his company.
“Now you’re gonna get wet,” they observed meekly, frowning at their realization. Beef’s top was already soaked through, clinging to the undershirt he wore. His pants shared a similar fate, though their darker color helped disguise it.
Beef shrugged, his short hair laying flat on his head. Y/n pouted at his indifference, beginning to pull their arms out of the sleeves of his coat. No matter how good it smelled, or how nice it was to be protected from the rain, they weren’t going to just let Beef give up his jacket for them.
“No, don’t worry about it! I needed a shower anyway, let’s just find shelter!” Beef threw his hands out to stop them, holding their wrists through the thick yellow fabric. He smiled reassuringly at them, looking around in all directions before making a decision.
“I think spawn is that way!” He nodded off toward the dark oak forest, gently tugging on them, having yet to let go of their arms. Y/n allowed themself to be pulled, still not entirely satisfied with their raincoat situation.
Beef dropped one arm to his side, Y/n suddenly feeling very cold where it had been holding them. The other, he let fall to their hand, interlocking his fingers with theirs. His was thick and calloused, Y/n noticed, gratefully accepting his offer by squeezing his palm. They gulped down the butterflies that threatened to spill out of their throat, unused to prolonged physical contact from Beef.
The man in question didn’t waste any time, pulling them in the direction he thought led to shelter. Y/n followed along dutifully, glad to have someone else to take them home. They’d sort of just planned on wandering around until they found civilization.
“How long have you been out here for? Your hand is all pruney,” Beef joked, yelping when they knocked into him with their shoulder. Y/n wrinkled their face at him, but made no move to let go of him.
“Long enough,” they answered finally, looking at the nonexistent path ahead to avoid whatever kind of disappointed look Beef was planning to give them.
He bumped them with his shoulder in retaliation, much softer than they had to him.
“I’m just messin’ with ya. I don’t mind holding your wrinkly hands.”
Y/n’s heart burned in their chest, the butterflies in their stomach swarming around in circles. They were almost sure that Beef could hear their thundering heartbeat. How could he not when it felt like it was about to pound out of their chest?
They made no response to him, burrying their face into the hood of his jacket. Beef seemed to understand anyway, chuckling at their embarrassment.
They walked in silence for a while, allowing the pitter-patter of rain to do the talking for them. Some quiet animal noises could be heard in the distance, leaves crunched underfoot, Beef’s silly yellow rain boots creating a makeshift road that was sure to be washed away by tomorrow.
Eventually, the trees cleared and the pair caught sight of a few identifiable buildings at spawn. The GigaPie shop stood proudly in front of them, its smoke billowing out into the dark sky. Beef celebrated out loud, mumbling something about how he knew they’d find their way home. Y/n just smiled at him, too exhausted to join in on his excitement.
“Alrighty, let’s get you inside,” Beef announced, pulling Y/n in the direction of their starter base. They stood in front of their door in no time, ducking under the cover so that they were both finally out of the rain.
Y/n dropped Beef’s hand hesitantly, not missing the way his fingers trailed over their knuckles, seemingly equally unwilling to let go. They took a step back from Beef, carefully pulling his coat over their head, the same way he’d put it on them. They held the jacket out to him, their fingers brushing together again as he laid the coat out over his arm.
“Thanks for walking me home,” Y/n smiled bashfully, looking down at their shoes. They’d been absolutely destroyed on the walk home, caked and stained with mud.
“Anytime!” Beef was quick to answer, beaming at them. Y/n looked up at him with a smile of their own, much preferring his face to their dirty shoes.
Beef held still for a moment, his eyes trained on their cheek. Cautiously, he lifted his arm, cupping their face with his hand.
“You’ve got- hang on.”
Swiping his thumb over their cheekbone, Beef made a quiet “aha!” sound and took his hand from their cheek. Y/n couldn’t help but touch their face where his skin had been, missing the warmth it had provided them. Beef held his thumb in front of their line of sight, just about even with their lips. Y/n looked at the finger to see an eyelash leashed right atop the pad.
“Make a wish,” Beef encouraged.
Y/n but their lip and closed their eyes. They made up a wish in their head and leaned forward to blow the eyelash off of his thumb. It took a little bit of effort due to his hand still being a little wet from the rain, but Y/n managed to get it to flutter away.
When they looked back at Beef, his cheeks were a dark red. He didn’t bother to move his hand, so Y/n did it from him. They held his left limb gently, lowering it in between the both of them. Neither made a move to let go.
Beef glanced from Y/n’s eyes to their lips and back again. Both were still, waiting for the other to make their move. Y/n gulped down their nerves, preparing themself to lean in.
Beef beat them to it. He rested his right hand on their jaw again, softly pulling their face up to meet his halfway. They came nose to nose when he paused again, his warm breath tickling their skin. Y/n’s eyes were half lidded, staring up at him with want and a little bit of nervousness.
“Can I kiss you?” Beef asked, just loud enough that they could hear. His voice was low and gravelly, sending another fit of butterflies loose in Y/n’s stomach. They allowed their eyes to shut the rest of the way, absentmindedly leaning into the hand cradling their face.
“Please.”
It was all he needed. Beef leaned forward, lips finding theirs in an instant. He guided their intertwined hands upwards, coming to rest on Y/n’s waist. They stepped impossibly closer to him, pressing themself up against the yellow raincoat that was between them.
It was over all too soon, Beef pulling away reluctantly, resting his forehead against theirs. His breaths were shallow, and the hand holding their jaw smoothly rubbed back and forth over their skin.
Y/n opened their eyes after a minute, finding that he was already looking at them. His cheeks were flushed, the rest of his expression soft, lips slightly parted and eyebrows drawn up.
Beef cleared his throat, shaking his head like he was coming back to reality. Y/n’s chest swelled with pride, they found themself unable to hide their smirk. They stood up on their toes, placing a chaste kiss on Beef’s pink cheek. He reacted wonderfully, turning an even darker shade of embarrassment.
“Walk me home anytime,” Y/n flirted, finally dropping his hands and unlatching their front door to take a step inside. Beef smiled bashfully at them, slowly tucking his hands in his pockets and cringing at their dampness.
