baby’s first sphere evaluation: holiday edition! ▻ the christmas song — arr. kim jinwook/byun baekhyun
he’s not competitive by nature, but comparing himself to others has quickly become routine in jinwook’s first month as a trainee.
in jinwook’s opinion, artistry shouldn’t be measured on a scale, but it’s unavoidable here, isn’t it? he’s supposed to have peers but most trainees are on an entirely different level, so much so that it’s hard to tell if they’re even playing the same game. this is ( probably, logically, obviously? ) just a result of training for so long… but it could be something inherent - some talents that jinwook just doesn’t have, no matter how much potential baek jiyoung and hyun bin claimed to see in him.
jinri tells him not to be so hard on himself, and jinwook knows it’s not fair to compare himself to trainees who have had professional lessons for years. he knows the necessary strength, stamina, and control will build with time. it’s still frustrating to struggle through hours of dance training each day with no results to indicate that proficiency lies anywhere on the horizon. it’s still frustrating that he’s expected to strain for higher notes in vocal lessons, knowing full well that his voice just isn’t capable of hitting them yet.
so he sticks to something more comfortable for his very first performance as a trainee: an acoustic arrangement of a familiar song, with a familiar friend. baekhyun and lisa needed accompaniment for their duet, and when baekhyun sticks around to mess around with christmas carols after practice time, one thing leads to another. it just makes sense in the end. there’s no point in attempting to show off new skills when there aren’t any quite yet.
he’s been wearing caps more often lately, to hide his terribly grown-out roots. ( his excuses are threefold: baekhyun’s too busy to do touchups these days; jinwook doesn’t want to pay to get it done professionally; and yet it’s not quite long enough to snip the bleached bits completely. solution: hats. )
tonight it’s a santa hat instead of a baseball cap, the cheap scratchy kind - comfort sacrificed for the sake of holiday spirit. despite the itchy scalp, it does help put jinwook in a good mood as he watches everyone’s performances, though sitting with jinri tends to do that on its own. it’s a good few hours of enjoyment before jinwook eventually follows baekhyun backstage for their turn.
they go on right after a flashy ariana grande dance cover, and as jinwook rushes to hook up the keyboard on stage he does his best to keep cool — “idols should know how to contain that energy as soon as you stand in front of your audience” — the critique from his audition panel lurks in his memory, and he visibly relaxes his shoulders. he’s confident in his preparation, and the nerves stemming from the daunting concept of being evaluated will have to be repressed for just a few minutes.
baekhyun introduces himself as jinwook finishes setting up. “i’m kim jinwook,” he adds once he’s settled, “from sphere.” he tests the sound on the keyboard with a simple arppegiated chord. it’s a bit jazzy, hopefully setting the mood. “it’s getting late, so we’re going to dial it back down a little,” he says, shooting a small smile to baekhyun. “this is ‘the christmas song.’”
jinwook begins to play the keyboard as he sings the first verse. neither part is particularly difficult, but he’s pleased by the acoustics of the stage. with the quiet audience, soft lighting, and warm arrangement, the performance seems fit to set the mood for the dim lounge of a holiday party.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Jack Frost nipping at your nose Yuletide carols being sung by a choir And folks dressed up like Eskimos
the spotlight turns to baekhyun for the middle section. his english is notoriously sloppy, and jinwook soft-smiles as he listens and plays along. it’s not like jinwook’s pronunciation is even close to perfect either, especially with so many unfamiliar words in this song, but he’s proud of his friend for all the extra work he’s put in. as long as the audience can understand “chestnuts roasting” at the beginning and “merry christmas” at the end, he thinks they’ll be okay.
as baekhyun hits his high note at the climax of the song, jinwook leans back into the mic to ease them out of it, the last verse softer again.
So I’m offering this simple phrase To kids from one to ninety-two Although it’s been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas to you
jinwook smiles, looking to the audience this time as he repeats the last line, fingers dancing across the keyboard keys. merry christmas~, he sings, baekhyun joining in to harmonize on each adlib. they’ve always gotten along well, so it’s only natural that their voices are agreeable as well. making the arrangement had been a breeze too, each aspect flowing together as if the two had practically been destined to work together.
jinwook tilts his head, the white tip of his santa hat swinging in front of him. with the last merry christmas to you~, he leans back to let his voice fade as he plays the outro, a brief ‘jingle bells’ motif. the last chord lingers as jinwook grins at baekhyun again. “merry christmas!” they chime.
he releases the last note and looks out at the audience, many faces familiar by now even if jinwook hadn’t formally met them all. beyond the audience sits the panel of ceos, no doubt full of critiques for the evaluation. if jinwook didn’t necessarily impress, he at least set the warm mood he intended to create. that’s what the holiday spirit is all about - heart. baek jiyoung is full of it, and jinwook hopes one day he’ll prove that he’s worthy of her faith in him.
for now, he still has his work cut out for him, and lots of it.