How to Get Started with The Fair Folk
Before You Do Anything Else
Keep Your Head and Common Sense-- Most of the standard things you'll find in folklore apply here. Don't eat fairy food, don't step in fairy rings, keep a bit of iron on you for emergencies, and the like. This might seem obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people jump right in with no safety net.
Researching
Pop Culture is Not Your Friend-- The Victorian Tinkerbell-type fairy and the emo high-fantasy fairy have muddled the popular conception of the subject so much. There are so many misconceptions about Themselves that have spawned out of pop culture and New Age. I won't bother to list them all here, but suffice it to say that you should always check the bibliography of whatever you're researching to make sure it's not citing lore that originated from a D&D campaign.
The Internet Is Probably Not Your Friend Either-- If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't trust Tumblr to record fairy faith traditions. These are primarily oral traditions, and there often will be variations on the lore even within a single locality. An online blogging environment tends to not be conducive to this, as it removes all nuance from the equation.
If you want some well researched, actually coherent sources, I'd recommend Morgan Daimler's Fairies: A guide to the Celtic Fair Folk and Emma Wilby's The Visions of Isobel Gowdie.
That Being Said, Research Isn't Everything– You can read and research until you drop, but it’s not going to do anything for you if you have no practical experience. Just like you can’t learn to play football by reading a book about it, you can’t learn the Folk out of a book. A book isn’t going to know what offerings your locals like, or where they hang out, or what Rules they adhere to. Your interactions and UPG will be infinitely more valuable in your own practice than anything you can read secondhand.
Practical Stuff
Respect What They Wish to Be Called-- Not all of the Folk have a medieval court structure with Kings and Queens and such. My locals are very finicky about that and find the insinuation that they are a Court to be insulting. I'm not exactly sure why, but best to avoid that particular can of worms.
Keep Up With Offerings-- If you want to get in good with them, I'd recommend something classical (like milk and honey) offered on a regular basis, and additional payments for services rendered. But make sure you do this consistently, and don't stop without reason. Nobody likes a friend that ghosts them. Make sure to keep in touch-- and not just when you need a favor.
Fairy Trees – Often in the lore, certain trees in certain positions will be designated as sacred to the Good Neighbors. These are usually oak, rowan, hawthorn or elder trees, set apart by location (i.e. growing alone in a field). In my area, there’s a lone hawthorn with a bluebell next to it. That tree is undeniably a door into Their realm, and my phone signal goes out whenever I walk past it.
If you have a fairy tree in your vicinity, consider yourself lucky. Leave offerings at its base at your leisure. The important thing is that you never, never, ever take branches or clippings from it without explicit permission.
The F-Word– I’ve sort of been dancing around it this whole time, but it’s not recommended to call them any variation of “fae” or “fairy” when speaking directly about them. Instead, use euphemisms like I’ve been doing– Fair Folk, Good Neighbors, Themselves, etc.. If you speak of them in such a manner, you might attract their attention, and that’s not always a good thing.
Safety
Cold Iron– The reasons why They, by and large, don’t like iron are numerous, but it’s a very well-known deterrent. My locals aren’t repelled by it per se, but they really don’t like it around. I have a protective charm of iron that is very obviously Not A Weapon, but I’m still discouraged from bringing it into their territory. If you’re seeking to repel Them, iron is your key.
Don't Say Thank You-- This is a really weird one. A lot of the folklore on record heavily discourages verbally saying thank you to Themselves. Reasons vary as to why, but it's generally agreed that by saying it, you are essentially acknowledging that you owe an unspecified debt to them, and that's never a good spot to be in. I opt for kind smiles and neutral statements like "I appreciate your help" instead.
Don't Get a Big Head-- If there's one thing to take away from this ramble, it's this last point. If you are seeking to consort with the Folk, remember that you are really the underdog in this situation. They don't really operate by human time, human social constructs or even human morality a lot of the time. If you start getting presumptuous, thinking you can "pay them off" for favors or "call them up" in ritual, it is 100% not going to end well for you.
