Jul 10
Wizard public transport committees have decided to turn the local sick children's hospital into a dragon parking area resulting in 16 deaths and 120 casualties
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Netherlands
seen from France
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Latvia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from T1
seen from France
Wizard public transport committees have decided to turn the local sick children's hospital into a dragon parking area resulting in 16 deaths and 120 casualties
Wizard News
The Boiling Hills have quit boiling. The region is known for its inhospitable swirling red sand and geysers. The sand is just as red as ever, but is swirling less than before with the geysers mysteriously on hiatus.
We interviewed an ecologist to find out why this might be:
"I have no idea. Geysers are a geological phenomenon. Who are you? How did you get in my house?"
there is now a wizard animal minecraft server live on patreon, come check it out !
this ongoing project is months in the making and just went live to patrons in a brand new minecraft tier. anyone in that tier or up gets access to the server as well as other neat patreon stuff ! there are a limited number of slots to start off, but more will open when those fill up as the server grows !
see you on the world wide wizard web <|:•)
video transcript: various shots of minecraft set to the song "dog" by c418. many of the shots show statues of large, white animals known as wizards, wearing witch hats, with 3 legs and dot-nosed smiley faces. at the end is text reading "patreon.com/wizardsisananimal" and "wizards is an animal." before cutting to black. end of transcript.
NEWS FOR THE WEEK
RIOTS CONTINUE, NO END IN SIGHT.
Gamping the Amphibious
The anti-bard riots have continued. A number of figureheads, such as Count Wizard Citizen Sunsamg and Hundred Dukes The Jameson Whittle, have emerged. Anti-bard sentiments have historically been an issue in wizard society, resulting in the bardic hideouts known as Singeasies. While many have come out into the open or been revealed by force, several locations still remain hidden, in various secret locations of the city and surrounding areas.
VAMPIRE REFORM CLUB OPENS CHAPTER IN THE CITY OF TOWERS
Kazner Darkwing
The Vampire Reform Club, long constrained to outlying citadels and towns, has opened a chapter in the heart of the City of Towers. The Club is a social establishment for vampires of all rank and station. What is discussed within the ebony walls is a closely-kept secret.
THREAT RECEIVED
Smilodon Johannes
WIZARD NEWS has received a threat in our inbox, which reads: "T̴̙̙̏̓̾̂h̵̲͒̉͛e̷͉̺̯͖͂̋̀ ̶̭͗f̵͕̗̮̲̊̀ó̴̢͙̣͕́̇͘r̴̫̽̊͐g̵̨͇̼̚ő̷̮̝̌t̵̳̿̎̚ṭ̴̋̎̕ě̷̯͂̄́ǹ̵͙͠ ̶͎̤̳̗̔ȯ̵͈̱̫̻̌r̵̨̤̊̈͑a̵̩̦̔͗͆̑n̵̨̰̯̅͌͋͝g̸͎͕̭̊e̸̘͙̖̔̊̏̈s̸̠̄̀̓͝ ̸̯͙̳͆̃͝w̸̨̛͍̔̕i̶̘̻̓̃̐̃l̸̺̳̭͝l̸̰̺̠̿̄ ̶̧̤̼͙̽̃s̸̙̠̰̊̊̈o̸̢͉̍͑̓ͅͅo̸̜̊̆̔͝n̵̮͇̞̞͋ ̴̧̛̤͓̩̽̈̋b̴͕̰̭͛͗̚ͅe̶̩̦͋ ̷͉̏͗ụ̶͖͕̟͛p̶̖̭̐̌ợ̸̥̟̊͊͗ň̴͚ ̴̝͈̊̚y̴̧̛͇̬̪̔̿ǫ̷͍́̃͒͜ư̴̠̦͖̼̈́͂̊ ̸̧̰̙͎͆̎̚͠m̷͉̩̏̾̓̈o̴̩̩͘̕r̷̞̽t̸̢͓̳̹͑̑̂̈á̶̘̠̒͂͠ͅl̴̫̈͛͗͘s̶̪̱̈͐̌̊.̵͉̘̦̌̽" [The forgotten oranges will soon be upon you mortals.] It goes without saying that we will not stand for this, and if we receive any more we will release the News Homunculi.
GNOME SENT TO PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Cam Camcam
Due to @the-gnomish-bastard's reign of terror, the IWCRR decided to, with stealth and subtlety, shunt the gnome into a near-identical paralell universe, thus making him someone else's problem. Many criticisms of this plan have been brought up. One anonymous person called the plan 'cowardice, pure and simple.'
Amazing news! Us and the Sexy Slug Exterminator have finished our fun wizard time together. They turned out to be sexier than anticipated and thus it has taken us more time than planned, as the cleanup procedures had to be, extended.
But the council chambers are now free for all! We can finally start accepting council members.
Any and all wizards interested are to reach out to us through the nearest raven. Just scream at it really hard and it'll forward the message. We can't really speak raven but we're sure it'll be fine
Our requirements involve being a wizard and a willingness to commit crime. Expertise in it is preffered but not required, as we appreciate bad intentions
WIZARD NEWS WIZARD TOURNAMENT.
I am going to host a "Best Wizard" poll-tournament. Your nominations determine inclusion and seeding.
Submit your favorite local* wizards
*None of the bigtimers like evilwizard, we would be crushed.