You Knelt Beside My Hope Torn Apart
@deathyless
"Have you ever thought about... you know....getting back into training and gyms and things?" Balia looked up at Miguel as she picked up the stick she'd brought and stuck it in the side of the Snowman she was building. Now that it was done she stood up, but she had a handful of snow in her pink be-mittened hands.
It was strange. She couldn't feel the cold through her mittens as she worked the snow into a ball.
"I was thinking about it. That as soon as Mika left I would too. I just had the Viridian Badge left you know." Miguel put his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. "I don't know though... I don't know if I should just leave...."
Balia felt his emotions turn towards his dad and she guessed.
"You mean leave your dad?" she offered in a soft voice. He glanced up at her. She always wondered if he found it spooky how accurate her guesses could be. She tried not to show how much people revealed through their emotions. Balia dropped the snowball she had been planning on tossing at him in the face of the emotions rolling off of him. They'd been dating for a while. Almost a year ago was it? That he first asked her out? Wow. But anyway they had talked a little here and there about hard things. Including a little about their respective parents. Not a lot. But enough.
"Yeah... he can't take care of himself anymore." He let out a tired puff of a breath. Balia felt frustration and anger rise in her on his behalf. She went over and gently took his hand. She should have felt the warmth of it through his gloves.
"I.... haven't expressed my feelings much about your Dad. Because he's your Dad and I have some... intense feelings about Dads not acting like... Dad's should. Given... my own blood father... But I'm going to say this now... I think he could take care of himself, he really wanted to. Losing someone you love is too painful for words. But so is being let down time and again by someone who you're supposed to be able to count on. His pain, doesn't justify him giving up on you and Mika. And that's what he did. He gave up on everything and everyone. And just because you're used to this doesn't make it okay. There's a point at which you have to realize that his choices, are not your fault. They're his. And choosing to do something good for yourself is not bad. Your wishes and needs are just as important as anyone else's." She watched his eyes watch her's. As if searching for something. As much as her empathic powers could help her guess things. People's thoughts were something she refused to read.
"Where... do you learn this stuff from? That nice Step-dad of yours?" Balia smiled a little, going up on tiptoe. She could smell the hint of smoke on him and the cologne as she leaned in to kiss him.
"No. I just pull this out of my ass." that got him to chuckle, and she thought it must have been somewhat because he never heard her swear. It was just so unlike her. But seeing Miguel smile was well worth it. She didn't think she'd ever feel this way about anyone again. It made her wonder... should she tell him now? She was an honest creature. And not telling him would be lying. It was... just hard to find the right time and the right words. And it was kind of dangerous for anyone to know.
"Okay. I'm ready to get out of this cold.. are you? We've got time before I have to-"
"Balia? Are you okay?"
"Huh? Yeah, why?"
"Because you're crying."
"What? Why would I be crying I'm not-" there was a click. And then a sound that shattered her heart in pieces. The sound of muffled gasps and screams. Of crunching snow as someone hurriedly ran off. And another as Miguel sunk to the snow below them and Balia herself dropped to the ground beside him.
"Upset..?" Miguel's eyes were frantic and his face was pale. But not from the cold. There was blood in the snow and on his jacket. Blood on her hands as she tried to keep pressure on his wound. But it wasn't helping.
There were people standing around. Just standing there watching her struggle and scream on the inside. Someone was even recording with their phone, she heard someone snapping pictures. She screamed at someone to call for help. Get an ambulance, Anything! She wasn't a nurse.
"Miguel! Miguel stay with me! Please stay with me!" she begged. Balia could feel his life force slipping away, and yet she couldn't do anything! She had the power to make it all go away. To heal his wounds in an instant and save his life, but then her secret would be revealed. And she would never be able to have a normal life again. He might revile her and cast her off.
"Please! Please keep fighting! Mika needs you still Miguel! And I love you. I want to see you succeed! I want to help you and cheer you on as you live and thrive in your own life. I want to be a part of it- Please?" there was so much blood. So many people. Too many people. Too many emotions. She was fighting not to freak out and expose herself a different way.
His eyes were turning glossy. There was a rushing in her ears. His mouth was moving, but she couldn't hear what he was trying to say.
His eyes rolled back in his head and his breathe rushed out of his lungs. She didn't just cry, she keened. Trying to hold herself in as much as she could as her new hopes and dreams shattered around her in a million pieces. Though clouds were gathering and the people watching her were starting to burst into tears. Though they didn't know why. Didn’t know they were caused by the intense grief that a Goddess right in front of them was feeling.
Morganna was there. With her paw on her shoulder. Miguel's Pokémon were too. Balia'd failed them. She'd failed everyone. Mika, but most of all Miguel. She pulled his cold hand up to her tear streaked cheek
"Miguel... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I could have... I know I could have saved you..."
Balia awoke in her bed. There was the light on her nightstand. On like it always was. There was a folded up scarf next to it with a sunflower locket that needed a new chain. And there was Morganna in the doorway of her room. Rain was rapping on the windows and roof vigorously and Aragh was snoring at the foot of her bed.
[Bad dreams again?] Morganna asked as Balia got out of bed and reached for her robe.
“Yes... but also a memory.” she said, tone somber as she wiped at the tears on her face.