Catharsis (21/35)
“So… will you go there?” Sarah asked, wiping the tears from her cheeks. James nodded. “Yes, and it can be quick. The referral is all ready, and I have a video intake with a psychologist the day after tomorrow. If they also feel I’m a good fit, then, given the severity of my current mental state, I can start there as early as next week.” “Wow…” Sarah uttered, “That’s… fast… I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s great that this is available for you and that it will help you, but it’s all… very fast…” “Yes…” James replied, “It is fast. But it’s also not. See, I’m dumping a lot of heavy shit on you guys now, and I know that, but I’ve been walking around with this for nine years. So, it’s not fast. It’s about time…” Sarah nodded and then immediately shook her head, “I could just kick myself! How did I not notice this? What kind of a twin bond is this if I didn’t see this?!” “Sarah…” James said, “Don’t beat yourself up. I’ve been very good at hiding this. Even from you. It’s not your fault. I didn’t want you to know.
“Why not, though, James?” Dan now spoke, “Why didn’t you tell us? We’re your best friends, we’re your family, some of us literally. We would have supported you, we would have stood by you. Why did you feel you couldn’t tell us?” “Because,” James said, his voice breaking, “because telling you, the people I love the absolute most in this world, would have made it real… And I was trying so hard to have it not be real, to make it go away. To deny and avoid it.” Sarah stood up and hugged her brother tightly. The others stood up as well to join in the hug. Sadie looked at them from her seat. Her eyes met Sarah’s, who smiled lightly at her and mouthed, “Thank you.” Sadie smiled back at her and nodded, though despite what James had said, she didn’t feel like the hero here. He was. He was the one doing it all. She sighed. It would still be a long road ahead, but he was doing it. And she was immensely proud of him.