1. Would you describe yourself as a millennial? Why?
Yeah, why not? I fit into the category and I know there are negative connotations but I don’t carry them with me.
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
The first experience I think about is casting rooms I was in when I was younger. For me, that was experiencing sexism and colorism all at once at such a young age realizing that I’m going on auditions, the roles that I was going for were for a “Spicy Latina” was very typecasted. But also, these directors and casting directors preferred me because of how light I am in contrast to my Afro-Latina counterparts or indigenous actresses in the room. I realized that slowly but surely, every callback, the room got lighter and lighter and I found myself in those rooms because they probably thought, “oh she’s ethnic enough but not too ethnic.”
3. What’s your relationship with social media like?
I think I’ve come to have a healthy relationship with social media. I think it scares me how much validation I see other people seeking through social media. So because of that, it’s put me on alert to relax. I have fun with it, but it can’t be everything, I can’t live through social media. But also, there are real fundamental relationships that have come out of social media. When people ask me how I’ve met some friends, I say that we met through the internet. So at the same time, I’ve formed some real relationships online that have been translated to real life.
4. Selfies: Thoughts?
I love ‘em! Why not? I think for many people, it’s super empowering. It’s taking back a lot of power from folks who have been told that they’re worthless. So it’s you claiming your space on your Instagram or Snapchat and giving yourself love that others aren’t giving you so I’m all for it.
5. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
Unfortunately, it’s my anxiety. I think a lot about if I didn’t have my anxiety, I wouldn’t be where I am today or succeeded the things that I’ve done. Because as driven as I am, without my anxiety, maybe I’d be the total opposite, maybe I wouldn’t be as fueled.
6. Do you believe in love?
I do believe in love, yes! Love is what motivates us to do many things. Even the work that I do is because of love. I love people and community and I have faith that there’s enough love in us to grow to have compassion for one another and to learn.
7. What’s something you think people assume of you based on your internet persona?
I think people think I’m super confident 24/7. I think when I tell people I have anxiety that they think it’s cute. I think most people think I’m so confident that I don’t have insecure thoughts. There’s many times where I don’t want to do things because I’m scared of who’s going to listen, what’s going to happen, what are people going to say, I'm not the right person, I’m not equipped, I didn’t go to school for this, who am I joking, someone is going to reveal that I’m a fraud. I think most people don’t see that side of me.
8. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
Connection
9. Do you think the American Dream is still alive?
I think the American Dream was bullshit to begin with and I think it’s a lie for many people, and because more people are opening their eyes that the American Dream is bullshit, it’s scaring those people who still wanna hold this idea of the American Dream to be true. We’re complicating this notion of what the American Dream was because we’re being more authentic and true to our own identity. The American Dream didn’t include LGBTQ folk, black folks, multiracial people, women. So The American Dream is bullshit and now we’re creating our own American Dream, whatever that means.
10. Is college overrated?
My gut answer is to say college is overrated, but I also acknowledge that within that answer is a privileged mindset because I was able, encouraged, and expected to go to college. I say it’s overrated in the sense that even throughout the years, I feel like we’ve gotten to the point where a college degree isn’t as appealing as it used to be. I almost feel like a college degree is equal to a high school degree to some employers. I also say it’s overrated because the internet has really in some ways, leveled out the playing field. We’re making our own resumes and portfolios online. If you don’t know something, you can learn it, and demonstrate it online through whatever platform, you can market yourself. I wish that people weren’t held to a standard where they needed a degree and put themselves in debt in order to just be seen by an employer.
11. What’s the title of the current chapter of your life?
The Crossroads
12. What do you hope will change in your lifetime?
I just want people to be more compassionate.
13. Who is someone you consider to be a voice of our generation?
The first person that comes to mind is Franchesca Ramsey. Not just her voice, but her moves and career path is indicative of what our generation is doing. She went from YouTube creating her own content, creating her own platforms and now mainstream media has looked to her to ask, “How are you cultivating this community?” Now she’s gone from YouTube to MTV Digital, to writing and producing her own pilot, and is someone who is speaking truth and educating folks through comedy.
14. What are qualities that you value?
Vulnerability, loyalty, actively seeking truth, actively inquisitive.
15. Fill in the blanks: “_______ is my favorite season because _______”
Summer because it’s pure happiness. Summer in New York is no other, it’s so beautiful because you gather more because everyone’s outside. I also don’t have the creativity to do this layer thing.
16. What do you hope 30 will look like?
I hope 30 will look like me being more secure in who I am. A mixture of secure of who I am with a bit of vibrance, full throttle, confident, and assertive. I just want to soar in my 30s and not care about people’s perception about who I am. I hope that I don’t seek validation from the outside world.
17. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
To conserve your energy, and I don’t mean physical energy, I mean your spiritual energy. That not everyone is worthy of your energy and to conserve it in terms of being very mindful of when you go out, who you go out with, who you share what with and being mindful of that.
18. Do you think there's a certain pressure to live a certain life online?
Yeah, absolutely. There’s an absolute pressure for people to live a false narrative, a false sense of happiness, a false sense of perfection. That comparison is the thief of joy. Who were we before phones, we didn’t have that comparison of what you’re doing vs. what I’m doing on a Saturday night. We didn’t have that instant comparison, social media just a multitude of feeds of comparing yourself.
19. What are you scared of?
Change
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
To trust yourself and that you do have the answers.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Narcissistic, Brave, Understanding, Dreamers
2. Selfies: Thoughts?
I’m for it, I love selfies! I’m encouraging of it, there are maybe some people that shouldn’t be posting the same picture every single day, but I think we’re only in this life once and if you love yourself so much that you want to post as many times as you want, then go for it!
3. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
A lot of the reason I do everything that I do - I”m the oldest of three and my dad passed when I was young, I was 13 and I kind of became the man of the house. I think a lot of my drive comes from wanting to show my brother and sister that as long as you put in the work and make sure you’re nice to people, dedicated, and love what you do, there’s no reason why you can't have everything you want.
4. Do you believe in love?
Oh yeah, totally! There’s different kinds of love. There’s love for that special someone in your life, there’s love in different parts of your life like your family, and the friendships you can have with people. I think that’s a love, you always have those core friendships where you have two to three people you know are always going to be there for you and that’s love.
5. What’s something you think people assume of you based on your internet persona?
I feel like people probably think if they go on my Instagram they would probably think, “Oh he’s a model, he’s relying on his body.” But I don’t take it seriously and that’s why I continue to do it, because it’s fun and I don’t take it seriously. If people see my Twitter, they see that I’m pushing a lot of my music stuff.
6. Do you volunteer? Why?
I have. Not recently, but I’ve done a lot of private charity events and I never got paid for them, didn’t ask to get paid, and I’ve donated here and there. If I see something I’m passionate about, if I have it, I’ll do it. I’m more of a quiet advocate for things, I’ll donate something or do an event and no one has to know about it.
7. Do you think you’re represented in things you consume? (TV, Movies, Books, etc.)
I think recently, a little bit more for sure. I think a lot of the reason why I’m attracted to white boys is because I was told to be attracted to them, that’s not my fault, this is a deep rooted society’s push for us to like that.
8. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
I find a lot of joy in the people that I have in my life. If I could just be with my good friends that know me in and out. If I could be with those people all the time, that’s all I need.
9. Is college overrated?
I think so, because I’m proof of it. I didn’t go to college, I went for two semesters, I got good grades, but I was there and I felt like I wasn’t learning anything. The only thing I really loved in college were my writing classes which makes sense because that’s what I do. But where I’m at DJing and writing for Billboard, Just Jared, and doing freelance - all that didn’t come from me having a degree, it came from hard work and a love for everything and that’s how it came and I did it all by myself, nobody took my hand and told me what to do, I just did it.
10. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
It’s always been about the fulfillment, I could care less about money. So with DJing, not every night is the best, especially when you do it for a while. But there have been nights where I’ve done a new party or gig and people the whole time are dancing, and there’s this excitement and joy, their hands are in the air, and they left knowing they had a good time. For those couple minutes, they didn’t think about anything else but having fun in that moment is insanely fulfilling for me. I’ve left gigs, got into a cab, and smiled.
11. What do you want out of this life?
I want to do everything that I'm capable of doing. Like RuPaul says, “Play with all of the colors.” I truly live by that.
12. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
There’s a part of me that’s very sensitive so as much as I am a confident person and I like to carry myself a certain way, I’m not open to critique sometimes and I don’t like that, and I’m working on that. If someone has something to say about what I do, I kind of take it to heart and I could get a little angry in response.
13. Would you consider yourself entitled?
I can be, but more so if I’m putting in the work, I’m very entitled in what I deserve. I’m proud of what I do, I didn’t come out of the woodwork and start doing this and began asking for things. I’m entitled in that I know my worth, but I don’t expect things from people, or that because I’m me that I should be this or that. I just know my worth.
14. Who is someone you consider to be a voice of our generation?
Tyler Oakley I think is great and I have so much respect for him. I’ve met him and he’s the kindest. He does good things and not just for himself but for the community. He’s put in a lot of work and you can’t take that away from him, he has all the receipts.
15. What are qualities that you value?
Humility, Empathy, Understanding, Kindness, Self-Awareness
16. What are your thoughts on the dating landscape in today’s culture?
I just know based on living in Jersey and New York, but the problem with being a gay man in New York City is that we’re everywhere, the options are endless, and people are always looking for the next best thing. I hear it with my friends and I’m guilty of it myself, where I’ve met someone who I really connected with, but I’m like, “there’s this other guy over there that’s giving me attention!” So why are we looking at people in that way? It should come down to a connection. I think with the Grindrs and Tinders, it’s easy for people to find the next best thing and no one is really consuming what’s in front of their eyes.
17. What do you hope 30 will look like?
I want to be able to travel DJing, to have my own parties where my name is over the helm of it. I want to keep doing what I love and continually embracing myself in every aspect and challenge myself nonstop.
18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
High standards, low expectations.
19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
Being okay with letting people go.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?There’s magic in letting yourself be yourself and blossom.
1. Would you describe yourself as a millennial? Why?
Definitely. I take pride in being described as a millennial.
2. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Rambunctious, reactionary, persistent, determined
3. What’s your relationship with social media like?
It’s an abusive, dark, twisted relationship. So I’m a journalist and I cover a lot about communities of color especially how politicians impact those communities. So for the last 4 years I’ve been doxxed, I’ve gotten rape threats, death threats, I’ve gotten phone calls from people who know where I live. My mom and dad are small business owners and people went on their Yelp pages and tried to aim my mom and dad online.
So I think there’s a price to pay for being an outspoken woman of color on social media, people are always trying to clip your wings. But at the same time without social media, I wouldn’t have a platform to speak truth to power so I don’t know. So like celebrating yourself, if you say that “I’m great” people will say you’re cocky or overconfident and if you say you're sad, people will say you're fishing for compliments. I’m not a really private person so I feel like I should understand the consequences that happen and I’ve come to terms with that. But it’s one of those necessary evils definitely.
4. Selfies: Thoughts?
I love them, I took about 8 of them before this interview. I like it and to be honest, I grew up with a lot of low self esteem in terms of body image. Taking selfies make me feel comfortable about myself. If I take a selfie and it looks good, I own it. It’s something that’s helped me feel comfortable with the way I look.
5. Do you believe in love?
I mean, I don’t know if I have love out there for myself, but I do believe in love just based in looking at my mom and dad. Just the fact that they met in an ESL class in America, didn’t speak the same language, but still fell in love. I don’t know how to explain it, but I do believe in it and I think the reason why I don’t believe that there is love out there for me yet is maybe because I’m really picky. I love my mom and dad’s meet cute story and I don’t mean to demean people who meet on Tinder, but I want something magical and organic like that, something by chance. I remember my dad talking to a friend of his and my dad said, “you can’t force things to happen.” I would say I do believe in love.
6. What’s something you think people assume of you based on your internet persona?
That I am a tight-ass. I remember in my freshman or sophomore year of college, I was in these Facebook groups and I would always get political, always get into debates and I was very preachy on social media, and this guy said, “Wow I thought you were going to be a tight-ass in person.” All my friends agree too that because my social media would be about politics and social justice issues and in person, I’m like what I’d like to call sophisticated and ratchet. I say crass jokes, when I’m hanging out with people, I don’t just want to talk about politics and all those things, I want to talk about other aspects of life or pop culture.
7. Fill in the blank: “Home is _______”
Where you want it to be.
8. Do you think the American Dream is still alive?
It’s hard and I think it’s the way we describe the American Dream. I think on the one hand, it’s really malicious to say that there’s a thing as the American Dream. But I think we need to be honest with what each individuals or community’s expectation of what the American Dream is like.
I think on the one hand, it’s really hypocritical for me to say the American Dream is a fake, a mirage or whatever because I can see how it’s impacted my parents, made them come here with nothing and my story in itself is the American Dream. But at the same time, it sucks to see that there are people who come here with the expectation to become the CEO of a company or having the next Facebook and because of our institutions and structures that are in play, people with certain backgrounds can’t even enter this country or have the opportunities provided to them.
9. Is college overrated?
Yes, I dropped out of school. I went in as a Pre-Med major my freshman year and I didn’t like it. I was always about journalism, writing, and being creative. So I went to American University which is about $64k a year, eventually I went into foreign policy and wanted to go into foreign service and I finally realized, all I’m doing is these readings and my professor is just going through a powerpoint and there’s no intellectual conversation.
During those times before Trump was president, we’re talking about middle eastern foreign policy, the Muslim vote, or the relationship with Russia or China, and it was frustrating to see this one dimensional view of the way the world works. I’m not saying we should invite Milo Yiannopoulos, I’m against that, but I think it’s good to have dissenting voices and not to be dismissed so much. American was very status quo and neoliberal and I don’t think there was an opportunity to have enlightening discourse. I got more sadly, through Facebook and reading articles.
10. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
To be honest, I want to say fulfillment because I’m doing that as a journalist and I don’t have the security. But I don’t regret being in my field so I’ll stick with fulfillment. I can sleep at night knowing that I’m in this career that for me is a moral obligation that I love to do, I’m doing it for the right reasons, and it helps me get up in the morning.
11. What do you want out of this life?
The way I think about what I want out of life is how when I die, what can I look back on and I think what it comes down to is making a difference. Dying and knowing that I’m a good person and that I did something impactful.
12. How do you measure success?
I think measuring success is seeing how much of an impact my stuff makes and not in terms of quantity. It’s not about how many people read the article, it’s the people who read the article and did something about it.
13. How do you want to be remembered?
As someone who definitely took a stand for something regardless of how it would adversely affect them. Standing up for the underdog and for what I believe is morally right, fair, and just.
14. Do you think people are sincere enough?
No, I think a lot of people are fake as hell. It’s so interesting to see how people only want you when they need something. I think there are some sincere people out there, but there are a lot of fake people around.
15. What are qualities that you value?
Steadfast, intellect, humor, humility, trustworthiness.
16. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
Speak up. I realize I have no problem speaking up for other people, but I have a huge problem speaking up for myself. I’m afraid to ask for a raise, if I don’t like how something is edited or how something is produced, I keep it to myself. So the thing I’ve learned is to learn how to speak up and defend yourself.
17. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
Discrimination really sucks. What I’ve learned about discrimination is no matter how hard you work, no matter what you do, no matter how many times you fix your errors or make no errors, there’s nothing you can do to prevent someone or something to not like you for who you are. It’s so easy to say that their opinion doesn’t matter, but it sucks knowing you had no power or control to change that.
18. What are you scared of?
Death, the afterlife, spiders, Taylor Swift’s lawyers
19. What does self-love mean to you?
It’s something I’m still coming to terms with and practicing, but it’s a sense of feeling, accepting, taking pride in who you are in your identity and your flaws despite what people think.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?Taking pride in yourself. The thing I’ve noticed is being a child of immigrants, a woman of color, people don’t like it when people say, “I’m proud to be black/muslim/moroccan.” We’re taught to suppress that. So for a lot of 12 years, I was told to not tell anyone I’m Muslim to make my peers feel comfortable and I realized white people don’t give a shit how I feel. Not about my health, my well being, my comfortability. I want to tell anyone to think for yourself and what makes you comfortable.
Be unapologetic about who you are because it’s awesome being you. There’s something awesome about yourself that makes you different that people don’t know about that you're exposed to. You’re awesome, cool, and don’t let other people tell you to tone it down. Think about your own well being, your sense of self worth, and prioritize yourself.
1. Would you describe yourself as a millennial? Why?
Yeah, but I feel like it’s a slur. I feel like no one wants to be called a millennial. So yes, because I qualify as a millennial, but also no because I feel like it’s a slur. I feel like people use it as a way to say something nasty about someone like, “millennials are killing x y z.” It’s not really a moniker I adopt.
2. What’s your relationship with social media like?
This is tough. I think for me, I’m able to do the work I do because of social media. Social media provided a community for me when growing up in New England in a town of a couple hundred people, there were no gay people. So social media was great for finding like minded people with similar experiences who you could talk to. I think it’s been great to learn. You learn so much from listening to other people with lived experiences that you don’t have that wouldn’t have surfaced unless you were looking on social media to hear them tell their own stories so I think that’s great so I think that’s positive.
But when my friends look at my mentions, there are so many death threats everyday, real vitriol. I’ve become kind of immune to it, but it’s always a reminder for me when someone from the outside isn’t engaged as thoroughly as I am, they see it and ask, “how do you put up with this everyday?” I’ve just built up an armor where this is just my normal day to day experience so I don’t think about it all that much. So I’m glad I’ve been able to build up that armor but it makes me very afraid when I see things like 13 Reasons Why and teenagers that don’t necessarily have that armor. Everyday I thank God that Twitter wasn’t a thing when I was in high school.
So it’s definitely a double edged sword. I think it brings a lot of good but people can utilize it to do some really ugly things. When we were in school, if someone were to bully you, they could only do it when you were together. Now they can torment you 24/7 and I think that’s really scary and I still don’t think people have adjusted to figure out how to deal with that. Because i Think that’s a modern issue for schools and workplaces.
3. Selfies: Thoughts?
Go for it! I mean, when I was cuter, I took them all the time. I think there’s nothing wrong with a selfie. If you look and feel good, show it off.
4. Do you believe in love?
Oh of course! Yeah, how can you not? If you didn’t, this world would be a pretty miserable place.
5. What’s something you think people assume of you based on your internet persona?
The internet’s really odd because people feel like they know you inside and out, there’s not much room for nuance. I always say, you’ll meet a lot of people online that are lions and then you meet them in real life and they’re mice. They’re very loud online and very shy or demure in person. I say I’m just as annoying on the internet as I am in person, but I think it’s easy for people to get a black and white image of someone following them online versus assuming or understanding that every person just like them has layers and nuance and everything that makes you a human being.
I think the second that you have a platform for better or worse on the internet, everything you do is highly scrutinized. People will pick apart your breathing technique, there’s nothing you can do that’s right. But that’s another thing where I’ve built up an armor to it and I find more often than not that when I do meet someone in real life that has been an agitator to me online that has said some not nice things, they’re always weirdly apologetic in person. To the point where I’ve had a few sob telling me that they were sorry that they were mean. And for me, everyone goes through the phases, and I was like, “Yeah I was a jerk once so it’s fine, don’t worry about it. Just please stop doing that to other people.” It’s odd. I think it boils down to people don’t allow for the nuance that they allow for themselves, their friends, or their family for the people they’re targeting because that person might have a couple followers which is stupid.
It’s such a weird thing, it’s one of those things like Uncle Ben said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” I‘ve had to learn to be more thoughtful about how I use my platform and what I say. You learn to be more judicious in what you say or do. You realize that whether it’s fair or not, the things you say or do have a lot more weight because you do have a larger audience listening so you have to be very careful about who you’re subjecting to public scrutiny. I’ve learned over the years that there’s a disproportionate power play there that I try to be conscious of.
6. What’s one thing you want people to know about you?
That I’m really boring. I’m really really boring. I can tell you if you look at my YouTube history, I just watch hundreds of crafting videos, and I don’t even craft, I just find them very soothing. Everyone assumes because I’m very loud and very much an extrovert that I must be going out all the time and getting crazy. But I like sitting home and reading, I try to read 2-3 books a week, I watch a lot of those crafting videos, I’m like a little old lady.
7. How do you consume news?
Mostly Twitter. I also watch Fox News every single night. I was raised by a politically very conservative family, identified as a conservative until I was a teenager, and I try to get ahead of what my family and friends back home are going to send me. But I torture myself by watching Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson every night. I read Drudge Report and Breitbart everyday. Twitter already gives me a clear view of the stuff I already agree with which is great, but I always want to make sure I’m going outside the echo chamber, so when I do get some crazy forwarded email from my grandmother that’s this conspiracy theory that i know where she heard it from, I know the best way to counteract it. So mostly Twitter, but also I torment myself a lot with the conservative stuff so I’m not in the bubble too much
8. What are your thoughts on race?
I’ll start with a disclaimer: I feel like white people have been giving their thoughts on race for so long and dominating that narrative. My thoughts are very much molded from my personal experience. I was born and raised in a place that has probably less than 1% of the population is anything other than white Irish Catholic. It wasn’t until I moved to New York City when I was a teen that I kind of got exposed to everything, other races, cultures, languages, foods. My friends think I’m joking that growing up, every night we would have the same meal. It was steak and potatoes and the potatoes couldn’t touch the steak. My parents didn’t use any seasoning, no gravy or anything, just salt, pepper, and butter, nothing on the steak either. I thought that was normal and I thought that anyone that didn’t do what I was doing was weird.
So when I moved to New York, I was like, this is surreal, my world isn’t the world and kind of removing yourself from that, I’m not surprised that this country has so many issues with race, because this country was built on white supremacy but on top of that when you’re in school in history class, that’s not what you’re learning. You’re learning that slavery was bad, but it ended. After that, segregation was bad, but it ended. So everything’s great now, there’s nothing to worry about. I think we have generation after generation propagated this very dangerous notion that it’s good to be colorblind, which no one is. If you are, see a doctor. Clearly you’re not, but we’ve taught people to say that as some sort of egalitarian view, but I think that ignores generations and millennia of lived experiences of people that have been marginalized.
I wasn’t too shocked by the election results, where I came from, Trump won my county by a significant amount, so I wasn't too shocked when it happened. I remember the day after seeing all my friends of color, none of them were surprised, the only people that were shocked were white liberals. I think there is a lot of introspection that particularly White Americans need to do. I was a part of the problem as a teenager, and that’s something that I’m still unlearning and also learning because you have to unlearn all the things you took in and assumed were universal truths and that’s where it’s so important to listen to people who have lived this life and they can tell you and it’s not an outlier. If everyone is saying the same thing, listen to them.
I still feel like White Americans are living in this bubble, I know I still am, so it’s learning and taking in what’s going on and what the people experiencing this stuff are saying so that I can be better informed and then use that education to reach out to a white friend or family member that might not be too willing to listen to someone that’s different from them. Use your ability as an ally for good to make that change happen because we’ve tried to put all the work on people who have been marginalized when it’s time for us as white people to clean house and start taking on responsibility for ourselves with all the bullshit that’s going on.
9. Do you think the American Dream is still alive?
Growing up, I think we’re taught the American Dream is that you can come here with nothing and you can build a life for you, for your kids, and certainly, there are people who have done that. But I also think we’ve made it incredibly difficult, whether it be the immigration laws or the way we’ve frozen social mobility where it’s very rare for someone to not die in the class they were born into and that can be a great thing if you’re born rich or a horrible thing if you’re born poor.
So I think right now, I don’t have the exact stat, but social mobility has never been as bad as it has been now in this country. So if the American Dream is that anyone can start from nothing and become a millionaire, I don’t think that’s true. There are plenty of people that do it, but it’s not just hard work. If everyone that just worked hard was rich, there would be janitors that’d be millionaires all over the country right now. It’s not just hard work, I think you have to have some luck thrown in there. I think there’s a lot of circumstances that make it a lot harder. Certain political parties have made it harder for the American Dream to happen.
10. Is college overrated?
I think it’s contextual, I think it depends on what you want to do. I think a lot of people don’t need to go to college and I think as it becomes more assumed that everyone’s expected to have a college degree, I think the college degree will no longer set you apart. I think if you have the means, go. I think the most important thing is fighting so that everyone has the means to do so. There’s no reason that public colleges shouldn’t be free and accessible to everybody and that’s not the case right now.
But I think we’re about to enter another bubble burst of the student loan bubble and that’s gonna do a lot of horrible things to the economy and people who have incurred a lot of debt. I also think there should be ownness on employers where this expectation that you’re hiring someone for an associate level position and you want them to have a 4-6 year degree and 5 years of experience, when this is an associate level position, this makes no sense.
I also think it’s about reeducating employers to not demand degrees if degrees aren’t necessary. Because if you start saying to people “you don't need college” until employers catch up to that, then you’re screwing people out of work. So it’s a very thorny issue for me. In a perfect world, no. But it has a lot of bad side effects that we’re forcing everyone into college when that might not be right for them.
11. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
Fulfillment. After 4 years at DoSomething, I took a year off and went to go work at a creative agency which was great. Incredible pay, really smart people working there, but I was using all my digital marketing expertise to sell things that weren’t making the world a better place and I miss doing work that was based in, “Okay, here’s an issue, how can we get people to do something about this issue?” So I quit after a year and took a pretty severe pay cut to go back because I miss the fulfillment work, which was another adult learning lesson that money really doesn’t make you happy. If you have enough that you have security that you’re not worried about paying rent or paying a medical cost, anything on top of that isn’t going to make you happier and I just assumed if I made more money, I’d be happier which wasn’t the case, so I went back to DoSomething.
12. What’s the title of the current chapter of your life?
Golden Cal
13. What do you want out of this life?
To leave the planet in a better place. So hopefully the work I’m doing sparks a generation and movement of social change and people being involved so we have more people voting, we have more protections in place where people experience discrimination, and protection for the environment.
14. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
That I don’t have a filter. I get myself in trouble all the time because I say what I think and it gets me in trouble at work, with people I date, with friends. So I’m always honest.
15. What’s something that makes you angry?
Apathy. If you can look around at all the stuff happening in the world, and this is nothing new, this is the same story before Trump. If you can look around and say “Eh, it doesn’t affect me so I don’t care.” It’s apathy attached with a lack of empathy. If everyone had the power to be empathetic, the world would be such a better place because you hear so often that someone didn’t care about something until it affected them personally. You hear this with people who are socially conservative all the time where they’re very much apathetic to immigration or queer rights and they have a gay son and all of a sudden they’re like, “oh my god I’m so sorry I wasn’t fighting on your behalf.” I just wish you could naturally be empathetic because then the world would be a much better place, we’d be farther along than we are now.
16. How do you measure success?
I try not to. I feel like the second you put a measuring stick on it, you’re always going to be doubting yourself and worse, you’re going to be comparing yourself to your friends. Your friends are the same age but they might make more money or have a cooler job title and I think that’s really toxic.
It will hurt your relationship with your friends, your family, and make you incredibly neurotic and full of self doubt so I try not to. There will always be someone smarter, better looking, that has a better job, that makes more money and you will never win if you play that game. Stay in your lane, focus on what you want to do and you will be much happier if you do that.
17. What are qualities that you value?
Empathy, Kindness, Patience
18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
To slow down and open yourself up to experiences outside of your own. Whether that be talking to people who have a different lived experience than you, listening to an argument that you might not agree with, trying a new food, going to a new country, and really being open to new ideas and experiences.
19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
That you, just like everyone else are imperfect. I think we spend so much time telling kids, “Don’t change who you are, people have to learn to love you, you’re perfect the way you are!” No one is perfect. I think there’s beauty in imperfection and having enough introspection to actually say, “Oh I’m always demanding my friends invite me to things but I don’t invite my friends to anything.” Maybe that's something to look at that I’m asking more than giving in these personal relationships. Everyone has character flaws, it’s okay, it’s what makes you human. It’s realizing that you’re not as great as you were always told you were.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
Practice empathy. Truly, the world would be a better place if everyone just practiced empathy.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Underpaid, overworked, hopeful, ambitious
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
Without a doubt, it was losing my dad when I was 15. People say life is short, but that phrase really put it into reality for me very quickly and I had to grow up very fast. I think to this day, I live in this constant fear that I’ll lose another family member and what that will be like for me because that was so traumatic as a 15 year old and I pushed a lot back at that time to just move forward. But I think it has been the one event in my life that has truly shaped me into the person I am today and I think it taught me how to live authentically.
3. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
The first thing that comes to mind which is so frustrating is money because I think we’re all lacking it. But really, it’s relationships, friendships, family, any kind of genuine, authentic relationships. I feel like in college you have these superficial relationships and you try to make a lot of friends, and now I have a small number and try to maintain those.
4. Do you believe in love?
Yes. I do! I believe in different kinds of love. I say that with pause, because I believe the expression of love is more important than the idea of love.
5. What’s something you think people assume of you based on your internet persona?
I think people probably assume that I live this grand life of adventure and that I like to try new things.
6. What’s one thing you want people to know about you?
That everything I do is intentional. It used to not be that way, I used to do things because I thought it was something I was supposed to do or because other people did them.
7. Do you volunteer? Why?
I do volunteer. I think it’s sort of inherent in what I’ve done in and after college. I volunteer a lot with my students, we go to rallies and lobby day at the state house. So a lot of the volunteering I do is lobbying and volunteering for higher ed and decreasing tuition costs and making college more accessible. I do it because my students need it and I do it because without students, I don’t have a job. It’s more out of having these very personal relationships with these students and you realize that they don’t have the resources they need. So how can we get these resources for them so they can stay in school, so they can work to support their families. I think access and equity in education is my #1 priority right now and it will be for a while, especially for women. If we can do more to support women in higher ed, it would be great. So that’s why I do it.
8. Fill in the blank: “Home is _______”
Autumn with my mom, sitting by the fire, drinking a glass of red wine. Home is with my mom.
9. What are your thoughts on race?
That white people need to recognize their place of privilege in this world and white people need to do more work around race relations around this country. Just because you live in a place like New York, Boston, or San Francisco even if you live in what you consider to be a liberal place, you have work to do. I think when I think of race I think of growing tensions. We have a lot of work to do.
10. What’s the title of the current chapter of your life?
Finally
11. What do you want out of this life?
Companionship, lots of laughter, really good pizza.
12. What’s something that makes you angry?
Intolerance. I have no patience for intolerant, ignorant people, and an unwillingness to learn about others.
13. How do you measure success?
In how many times a day I can laugh whether with friends, at my job, with my students. Did I laugh today? That to me means I’ve had a successful day.
14. How do you want to be remembered?
As someone who stood up for what she believed in, for someone who maintained really authentic relationships, as someone who brought joy to other people and I wanna be remembered as a fucking feminist.
15. What are qualities that you value?
Honesty, interest in current events, a sense of humor, kindness.
16. What do you hope 30 will look like?
I hope it will look like fun, stability, love, and just being content.
17. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s?
Oh it’s a fucking dumpster fire, it’s a hell hole. I’m still trying to figure it out. But I will say, it is at least up until this point of my life, the biggest period of growth I’ve ever experienced personally. I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress in who I am as a person, even in the past 3 or 4 years. I know who I am and I feel really confident about that.
18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
To give without the expectation that you will receive.
19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
That you will lose people whether that’s physically, emotionally, romantically. You will lose people, it’s inevitable.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
Don’t hold grudges, be forgiving, and exist to love one another.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Optimistic and somewhat narcissistic
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
Person for sure would be Saeed Jones who was the LGBT editor at BuzzFeed when I was hired, he was the reason I got my job. I followed him before I knew him personally, I read a lot of his writings throughout college and he really helped me be comfortable with coming out and being openly LGBT. When I moved to New York and actually met him, I developed a relationship with him, he became my mentor and fundamentally shifted the way I view myself and the way I carry myself in the world.
3. What’s your relationship with social media like?
I feel mostly positive. I feel like there are negative drawbacks to it, like I’m probably on it way too much, and I’m sure it gets in my head what other people think of me on it because it’s all just a facade. But I think overall, it’s been more of a positive, it’s helped me keep in touch with people a lot easier, make new friends a lot easier. I know there’s a bad rep that comes with it like anxiety and depression just from overstimulating, but it’s all about how you use it.
4. Selfies: Thoughts?
I think they’re fun! I think they’re pretty much harmless, maybe a bit narcissistic. But people have been taking photos of themselves since the camera came out so just because it’s in digital format doesn’t mean humankind shifted its mindset.
5. Do you believe in love?
Yeah
6. Do you volunteer? Why?
Currently only through work. We have work opportunities where we volunteer and I tend to go to the LGBT ones. I do want to get more involved with this place called Trinity Place Shelter in Harlem. They take care of homeless LGBT youth and provide meals. But at the moment, I only volunteer through work. I think volunteering is an important part of giving back and being part of your community. I recognize that I have quite a bit of privilege that I was born into and if I have that, I should be using that to help out other people who don’t have those same circumstances.
7. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
Currently, two things. One, the work that I do knowing I put my all into it and to be able to perform and make something I like and two, my relationships. I’m lucky enough to have a lot of good friends that I’ve made in the city that I consider my chosen family and just hanging out with them, that fellowship, brings me a lot of joy.
8. How did you feel after November 8th?
I felt like someone had died. I’d never seen New York like that. The day after election night, I went to work. It was rainy, gloomy, and everyone on the subway, the only way I could describe it’s as if like someone everyone knew had died. Everyone was so somber, nobody was really looking at each other, some people were crying on the subway. Just walking down the street people had this look of despair, kind of like a numbness. At work, it was a terrible day. We got donuts and coffee to try to make ourselves feel better. One of the editors at work says he doesn’t remember seeing the city like that since 9/11.
9. Is college overrated?
I would say yes, and that’s not to understate the importance of it. It is a huge benefit to have a degree to get into the workforce if you’re not the creative type, especially if you’re going into finance or law. But I’m thinking from my realm of the creative sphere. If you’re doing something like writing. I work with some people at BuzzFeed who didn’t go to college and they’re just really good writers, good at what they do, they excelled and wound up where they are. I do think it’s the best route to take personally, but not everyone could do that.
10. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
I’d have to go with fulfillment. I’m tempted to say security because that’s what everyone wants. I think it’s more important to be happy with what you’re doing. I’ve had friends who worked finance jobs that they hated. Yeah, they were making a lot of money, but it consumed all hours of their life and they were miserable. Is it worth affording that week in Fire Island if you’re miserable the rest of the year?
11. What’s the title of the current chapter of your life?
New Beginnings
12. What do you want out of this life?
Happiness, fulfillment, love, leaving an impact or legacy, being known for something.
13. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
That I can be quite vengeful. That’s something I’ve known about myself for a long time so I actively work to put it down. I don’t know where it comes from, maybe my childhood from being closeted or something. But it’s easy for me if I feel like I’ve been slighted, or if I feel like a friend has fucked me over in some way to want to lash out and get revenge for it, or cut them out. So that’s been something I’ve been actively practicing is the art of forgiveness and moving past that.
14. How do you want to be remembered?
As a force for good, for inclusivity, for good art, writing, my performances.
15. What are qualities that you value?
Loyalty, trustworthiness, laid back, loving, nonjudgmental, generosity
16. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s?
A lot of learning, a lot of mistakes that no one can teach you, you have to learn for yourself. Your twenties are fun but they’re also such a learning experience. For a lot of people, your twenties might be the first time you fall in love, have a serious relationship, really starting to get into your careers for the first time. There are a lot of things like other elements in territories that you aren’t prepared for and you kind of have to figure it out as you go. So I think a huge part of being in your twenties is being able to dust yourself off, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep going.
17. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
There are two that come to mind. The first one is to not be judgmental. To try to understand other people from a place of empathy and love when possible. The other might be more cynical which is to protect myself. Because for me, I guess by nature or personality or whatever, it’s easy for me to be too trusting and too invested in people especially when it comes to relationships or anything like that. You have to look out for yourself because not many people will do that for you.
18. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
To guard your heart.
19. What are you scared of?
Failure and not being able to pursue the dreams and goals I’ve set for myself.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
To not be afraid to speak up and use your voice and to live authentically. To live honestly for yourself not trying to put on a facade to impress anyone else.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Passionate, Stereotypical, Game changers
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
I would say moving to DC has had a big impact on my life. Being from Kentucky where it really is a little bubble, coming up to DC challenged norms for me and there was some of that when I lived in Connecticut, it was a cultural shock. Moving to DC, you’re constantly around diverse people. I was here when the transgender bathroom conversation started in North Carolina and I just thought, “this is wrong, these are people and why are we doing that?” I would call home and I would hear, “you know there are gonna be weirdos spying on daughters.” That’s not what the issue is and people still have that mentality back home.
3. Where has our generation misstepped and where have we succeeded?
I think often we post a lot on social media and say, “this is important!” and when something like Charlottesville happened, people will write like, “oh I have to write a post!” “thoughts and prayers!” “This is bad I condemn it!” But then I thought, “Well what are you doing to make that change?” So post, but act on it. But like I said, we are game changers and I think we care about social issues more than previous generations so I think we’re gonna work hard to make a change. So I would say my conservative friends don’t care about gay marriage or the transgender bathroom issue. So why are these politicians focusing on that? I think we’re all going to be fifteen steps to the left republican wise in 20 years, I just think we have an open mind.
4. Do you believe in love?
Yeah! Duh! Who doesn’t believe in love?
5. What’s one thing you want people to know about you?
My past. Humble beginnings. I’m from Kentucky, we’re not the richest state in the world and my parents are blue collared workers and they have always tried to help, but financially it’s not always there. I’m not a rich girl.
6. What are your thoughts on race?
It’s sad with what happened in Charlottesville. I love people and diversity but when I first moved away to Connecticut, my friend Maddy challenged me. Some of the stuff I would say was not okay. It’s little things you can say sometimes that are offensive and perpetuate this racism that you don’t even realize is racism. I’ve done a lot of learning. Race is complex and difficult and I hope it gets better.
7. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
I love my mom. I’m a mommy’s girl, I’m very close to my mom and I love being with my mom. I am in a relationship, his name is Will and I love being with him too. So I’m always missing the other when I’m with one.
8. Do you think the American Dream is still alive?
I mean, yes. People come over here from all over the world seeking hope. It’s different. The American Dream used to be two cars, a house, white picket fence. I don’t know that our generation that is strapped with student debt is going to get there, maybe that’s me being pessimistic. I think the American Dream is different, it’s about being successful and happy but not necessarily a house and two cars anymore.
9. Is college overrated?
No, I think education is the best thing you can do for yourself in my opinion. I went and got my Bachelor’s then got my Master’s and the first job I got after getting my MBA was terrible. My masters loan was more than what I was making and I was like, “why did I do that?” Then I got my next job and my salary doubled and my boss straight up told me I got the job because I did have my MBA. But if I did just have my Bachelors, I wouldn’t feel the same way. I also think that education is tough, we push people to go to college and we tell people you have to go to college to be successful. If I have sons who are not the most academic, there’s nothing wrong with going to trade school and I don’t understand why we’re not pushing that more.
10. Does religion play a role in your life?
Yes, I’m a devout Christian. The first year that I moved to DC, it was hard to find a church. I started to look for a church up here and with some of the churches, I didn’t agree with some of the things. This isn’t how I was raised and I would say they were more conservative, and I come from a conservative church but they were saying things I didn’t agree with. Then there were a lot of churches where I was easily the youngest person there, the people there were 70 or 80 years old and I was like, “where are the youth?!”
Finally, I found a place but it was year that I was going through this process and even though I was praying, something was definitely missing from my life. So I’m happy now that I’ve found a home. I would say it’s not perfect but I did join a bible study that meets every Tuesday and it’s very real. It’s just about fellowship and things that are going on, none of us are perfect, a lot of us go out and live with boyfriends, but it’s really great.
11. What are your thoughts on marriage?
I believe in marriage. I can’t believe there are these cynical people that don’t believe in marriage. It’s sad because I am from the south and there are people who got married right after school who are starting to get divorced and there are people that were college sweethearts, dated after, it was finally put up or shut up, they got married and within a year they’re getting divorced. My family would definitely prefer me to be married and pregnant by now. I believe in marriage, I want to make sure I make the right choice. I have divorced parents, but I don’t hate that, that doesn’t make me dislike marriage. The thought of marriage excites me. I feel like when you meet the right person, you’re ready to do this and combine your lives.
12. What do you want out of this life?
I want to be successful but fulfilled and I want to be happy. So because I am religious, this lifetime isn’t what matters, I want to go to heaven and that’s what matters so I want a life that leads to that.
13. How do you want to be remembered?
As a kind person, as a nice person that made someone feel good.
14. What are qualities that you value?
Trust, love, generosity, drive
15. Fill in the blank, “I wish we had more _______ in the world”
Love.
16. Are you a feminist?
Probably not. I’m not as girl power as some of these women like Lena Dunham. I’m not there yet. But I am trying to embrace my feminist voice. Feminism used to be such a dirty word. So I would say I’m not, but yes I want equal pay, I still want a man to open the door for me, and if a boat was sinking, I would want women and children off the boat first.
17. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s?
It’s confusing and sometimes I get so frustrated because I’m not where I thought I was going to be. 18 year old Shelby thought she was going to be married by 22, baby by 25 and it is not like that. Even in the workplace, I thought I’d have a higher title or would be in my dream job by now and that’s not what happens.
18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
I would just say to trust God. We had a really traumatic experience with my sister right before I left north for consulting. She had a sudden cardiac arrest and she shouldn’t have lived, but it was a miracle and I’m very thankful for that. That experience, to me, it was like there is a God out there so I try to put my trust in him and believe that everything happens for a reason.
19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
Just because you’re nice, doesn’t mean that things are always going to go your way, people aren’t going to treat you right.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
Be a little kinder than you have to.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Open, shallow, vain, humanitarian, sensitive
2. Where has our generation failed and where have we succeeded?
I think our generation messes up in the sense that everyone wants to be the smartest person in the room but nobody recognizes that we’re in a room together. I think we all try to outsmart each other rather than try to pick each others brains and trying to come up with a better solution. One thing I do think we’re good at is expressing ourselves. I think a lot of times we are politically correct. We try not to hurt other people’s feelings but we also know how to.
3. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
It would have to be my fear of failure. I do know that failure will come and I’m ready for it, but also having that fear of failing to the point where I can’t get back up is a motivator for me because I don’t want to get to that point. If I do, I’ll figure it out then, but if I don't have to then that’d be great too.
4. Do you believe in love?
Yes, I do believe in love but I do believe there are different types of love. There are people you're in love with, people you do love, I don’t think it’s as simple as I love you.
5. What’s something you think people assume of you based on your internet persona?
I think a lot of people think I’m cooler than I am. I think people think I’m more intimidating than I am in person. I’ve had people say they’re intimidated to meet me. I’m 5’6 and 140 pounds, I’m not intimidating whatsoever. But I have been told that there’s something about my photos or the way I talk on social media.
6. What’s one thing you want people to know about you?
I love to live in the moment, I don’t like to overthink too much. I think overthinking is going to be the bane of our existence because if you sit and overthink and you don’t do, time will pass and you’re going to regret. So I’m more of a doer then think about what I just did afterwards. So I’m more of a ask for forgiveness than permission type of person. Nobody dies thinking I wish I didn’t do that, but more that I wish I did do that.
7. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
Comfort
8. What are your thoughts on race?
I think race is just a part of your identity it’s not a thing that should be taken into consideration when looking at someone. I think it should be something that’s acknowledged. I think people should acknowledge each other's race because that’s part of what makes someone a person. But it’s not something that you need to be judged for or characterized as.
9. Do you think you’re represented in things you consume? (TV, Movies, Books, etc.)
I think we’re getting to a point where I am as a black male becoming more represented as who I am. So now you’re seeing shows like Black-ish and I’m starting to see a positive representation. I’m nowhere near a thug, I’m not someone who wears saggy pants, who grew up in the hood. When I was younger I would see that all the time, and I was just wondering when I was going to see someone like me. So in Black-ish, Bow is a surgeon and Andre is part of an ad agency who have these kids who are successful. I will say a lot of the show resonates with me, but I will say that if I haven’t gone through it, I know someone has gone through something like that.
10. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
Waking up. In school, I took a Sociology of Death and Dying course and it made me realize that people die every single day and put it in perspective. I think about death about four times a day and it’s really morbid, but it happens all the time. It’s me being able to wake up, walk, talk, see someone because I realize that someone else didn’t wake up today.
11. Do you think the American Dream is still alive?
That depends on what you define it as. I think with the American Dream there is different definitions. A white male will have a different definition than a black male. My definition would be being able to do what I want to do and not have any obstacles that another person wouldn’t have. Is it still alive? I don’t think for me it was ever alive because if you look back, there was always this obstacle for African American blacks to get to where they want to go and they still are there.
12. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
Fulfillment. Especially in this economy, there’s no sense of security. You could be laid off the next day and if you don’t like your job, why are you there?
13. What do you want out of this life?
Happiness, satisfaction, fun.
14. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
I am very stubborn. No matter what it is, no matter who I’m talking to, what the topic is, I will be the most stubborn person you’ve ever met because I will not stand down if I 1. Believe in what I’m saying or 2. Just don't want to be proven wrong. It really does hinder me from getting to a solution quicker, but at the same time, I know it’s a flaw and I’m working on it, but I also won’t back down just because someone wants me to.
15. What are qualities that you value?
Dedication, Loyalty, Honesty
16. Fill in the blank, “I wish we had more _______ in the world”
Humility
17. What do you hope 30 will look like?
I hope I look the same. I do hope I’m more established in my career. I hope I’m content with the chapter in my life that I’m in.
18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
I think learning how to take failure and learn from it was a big lesson.
19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
Trusting people isn’t as hard as I made it out to be.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
You have to live your life for you. You can’t live it for anyone else. Not for your parents, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your brothers or sisters. Because at the end of the day you will be the one who has to look at yourself everyday and be with yourself all the time. You have one life, make it count.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Misunderstood, Neglected, Ambitious, Narrow-Minded, Active
2. What’s your relationship with social media like?
It’s love hate I think like most people. I perfectly curate my life on it and I know that everyone else perfectly curates their life to be a perfect museum exhibit and it can be nerve wracking. I tend to be funny on social media as a way of dealing with things and I get a lot of my validation strangely from people liking and giving me positive comments on my posts because it means I’ve impacted them or made them laugh.
3. Where has our generation failed and where have we succeeded?
I think our generation and the generation that follows us has succeeded in understanding groups of people en masse in ways that earlier generations have and cannot. I think one place where the generation fails is the reaction individuals have when they meet people or interact with people who have a different viewpoint, a more traditional viewpoint on some things, or lack the capacity and experience to fully understand social justice or what the issue may be. I think millennials tend to overreact instead of trying to have a conversation that’s productive and able to bring the person they’re talking to closer to their viewpoint or at least to a mutual understanding.
4. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
Internal ambition to succeed. Something intrinsic that was fostered by my mother. Even though my parents are divorced, I grew up in a very loving environment before and after in which they supported my brother and I. So I think that helped foster a really great sense of wanting to accomplish things and I was sort of the golden child of my church and school which does lend itself to a lot of self imposed stress so though that motivates me, i think it hinders me in a lot of ways too because I don’t handle those failures well.
5. Do you believe in love?
Yeah, I believe in different types of love. Platonic love, the people that bring joy to your life. Familial love, I very much love my family. Romantic love, I have not particularly had that experience, but I’ve had a lot of unrequited love. So I do believe in love, I believe it is a powerful and sometimes destructive force.
6. What’s something you think people assume of you based on your internet persona?
That I have my life together. That I’m a happy person naturally, that I have nothing but successes when in reality, I have constant internal doubt and I’m very self conscious about things and sometimes I sprinkle posts with a little bit of that. Maybe some people pick up on it, maybe some people have. But I think the major misconception that people really buy into my social media persona is who I am. Some of it is me, but it is perfectly curated for maximum likes.
7. What’s one thing you want people to know about you?
That I live in a state of conflicted feelings. I was born and raised in Kentucky in a very pretty conservative place. I never felt regressed or oppressed. I grew up in church and I never had a reason like some other millennials, in particular gay millennials, have to sort of reject religion because the best people I ever knew that cared for me the most was my church family so I never fully rejected that or those values that have shifted my viewpoints and philosophies and theological perceptions of religion.
At the same time, I live in an urban environment that is diverse in thought, religion, I’m part of an LGBTQ community that doesn’t accept that I’ve held on to a lot of things I grew up with. Add that to the fact that I’m a moderate republican operative and it’s not great for the dating life. It also creates conflict because I don’t know exactly where I fit into the LGBT community. There are people who support it and there are those who lay into me, particularly now that Donald Trump is President. For some reason, even though I didn't vote for him, they think I have to own him, own his policies, and his presidency which I do not.
8. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
Ephemeral for me. I’m not naturally happy and I have to work very hard for that. I think happiness requires a base of contentment and if you’re not content with things, you can’t build off of that into feeling fully happy and in a happy mood. I’d say ephemeral because it’s in this fast paced, ever changing dynamic of the society that we live in. It’s easy for something to come and knock you out of a good, happy state.
9. Do you think you’re represented in things you consume in media? (TV, Movies, Books, etc.)
Well I identify in several different ways. I think LGBT, yeah there’s always going to be complaints that there isn’t enough positive representation in media, but in comparison to 10 years ago, it’s only growing and stories are being told. As someone from Appalachia, no. I think if you look at a lot of shows on television, you don’t have those Roseanne’s anymore, you don’t have shows that focus on a blue collar perspective anymore. On the whole, I would say yeah, I am a white male so I am well represented.
10. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
Moment’s where I’m with people that I enjoy, doing something I enjoy, laughing, making them laugh and having a bonding moment whether with family or friends that people enjoy engaging in.
11. How did you feel after November 8th?
I was very conflicted. I like, most people had resigned myself that Hillary was going to win and I was more comfortable with her in a leadership position than the person that was the nominee of my own party. I am not a Donald Trump republican and in many ways, the party, and what he represents is diametrically opposed to many of the ideas that I came into my political own believing. I was very conflicted, I was happy we retained congress, sad that one of my favorite members lost her reelection campaign.
I’ve still been conflicted this whole time because there’s this sensible part of me that feels like I’m being told that I have to participate in the public flogging of the President, his supporters, and his ideas to be considered a kind compassionate human being. On the other side, the political, professional side of me is like, “I can’t do that because is that disloyal to party?” I have my conversations with my own friends about what he’s doing wrong with pretty much everything. But there is a pressure to feel like I have to own him and his policies.
12. What are your thoughts on marriage?
I’d like to be married. I think marriage is a covenant, a promise that you make to another person and to God that you will become one unit, one individual. Do I think you need to be married to be happy? No, but I think that’s up to everyone. I think marriage is very important, it’s important to find the right person and to develop techniques to solve your problems and work through issues. I sometimes wonder, it’s been very difficult for me to find people to date or fall in love with and see myself getting married with. I almost wonder if that’s because I’m supposed to be waiting to find the right person that’s going to be able to have that same concept of marriage.
13. What do you want out of this life?
That happiness that I said was ephemeral. I want to be content I want to recognize my blessings because I sometimes forget that.
14. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
There’s quite a few. I think it’s definitely being self conscious to the point of over compensation. So I want people to like me I want to be a people pleaser and I try to do that on social media and if somebody says something to me that makes me think that they don’t like me or they're upset with me, it sticks with me for weeks. Again, I overcompensate by trying to be the fun guy at the party so that everyone will like me. Impatience as well in my career and my romantic life.
15. How do you want to be remembered?
As someone who made people laugh. As someone who hopefully made people feel good about themselves, who was kind. Someone who was creative, thoughtful, and I do hope my memory lasts beyond my death through some accomplishment, even if its a footnote of a footnote in history books.
16. What are qualities that you value?
Kindness, compassion, good humor, hard work, thoughtfulness
17. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s?
Exhausting. I think it’s a time when you want to have fun, especially if you’re single. But it’s also a time where you want to be serious and further your career and those can be difficult things to balance. It’s a chaotic time. I think that’s true for many generations. The 20s is when a generation is in that time period, is when they’re most judged by older generations because they’re trying to adjust, adapt, and figure their shit out. It’s unfair for baby boomers who have bankrupted America to be like “millennials are lazy.” Bitch, you bought things you can’t pay for.
18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
I’m in the process of learning how to not let stress and anxiety overpower me. That everything will be fine and turn out right if I don’t meet my goals and I struggle with that on a daily basis and how to cope with those emotions. Beyond that, I think trying to learn patience and realizing that patience is needed.
I think everyone thinks that when they come out of college that they’re going to hit the ground running that you’re gonna go one hurdle after another. I think it’s really interesting because after college is the first time when you have an open ended life. Up until that point, there’s always something on the horizon when you finish high school, you know the next year you’re going to college, you know you’ll do an internship, you’ll know you go back to school. When you’re out of college, you’re like know what? There’s no natural thing coming at me from the horizon except age and I’ve got to go out and figure it out and that can be daunting for people.
19. What are you scared of?
Being alone. Not finding love to not find someone I love and care for.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
Just smile more, laugh more, because at the end of the day that’s what’s gonna make your day worth it, it’s those happy moments.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Curious, Driven, Empathetic
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
I think that would have to be my sister. She’s so awesome and is an amazing person who’s showed me what unconditional support love is like. She's so smart and has been through a lot of things. She’s really taught me what it means to be good, caring, and understanding of other people.
3. Selfies: Thoughts?
I like them, I have a friend who has made a career out of being beautiful on Instagram so more power to her. I think it can be a positive thing, I know for some people, taking a selfie and getting some positive attention can be validating, so I don’t judge.
4. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
For me, it’s always been the need to contribute something with my work and art. There’s a lot of things we need to work on and I always feel like I need to be contributing to that conversation and help steering it in a more positive, inclusive way.
5. Do you believe in love?
Yeah!
6. Fill in the blank: “Home is _______”
Where you feel comfortable and accepted.
7. Do you think you’re represented in things you consume in media?
No, definitely not, I think it’s changing a little bit. So I’m South Indian and the first time I heard the language that my family speaks was on Master of None. He [Aziz Ansari] is from the same part of India, he has the same type of relationship to his parents that I do, that’s the only time I ever felt like I saw myself.
8. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
My fiancé. We’ve been going out for 7 years and he proposed to me on my birthday this year in April. He’s just wonderful.
9. Do you think the American Dream is still alive?
For some people, not for everybody though.
10. How did you feel after November 8th?
Devastated, heartbroken, so disappointed, really scared, really worried. One of the biggest things I’ll never recover from is that this was a big statement to women all over the world and in America. That it doesn't matter how smart you are, how capable you are, you could do everything right, and people will still make all these terrible assumptions of you and you’ll still lose out to a man who’s not qualified, and not as smart as you. It sucked.
11. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
I want to say fulfillment because it’s better, but I think having experienced jobs where I wasn’t paid enough, having been unemployed, security is nice too.
12. What do you want out of this life?
I want what everyone else wants. Love and happiness, to be with people they care about and I want to take care of my parents and my family.
13. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
I have a quick temper because I can be impatient sometimes.
14. How do you want to be remembered?
For my art and standing up for people.
15. What are qualities that you value?
Kindness, honesty, acceptance, understanding, being able to listen to other people.
16. Fill in the blanks: “_______ is my favorite season because _______”
Winter because my favorite thing to do is draw and I feel like I hardly draw in the summer because it’s so beautiful outside. But in the winter, I love when it’s cloudy, raining, snowing, and I’m in my house and I can be in a happy place, listen to music, and draw.
17. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s?
Confusing, fun, a lot of stuff doesn’t work out. It’s a lot of trying and messing up.
18. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
Try to be kind and understand about people, don’t care about what other people think of you, and do the right thing.
19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
You can try to do something but the world might have other plans for you. You could be trying hard to work in a certain field and it’s not working out. Things are not linear.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?Listen to women.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Curious, Innovative, Driven
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
Doing drama class in high school and my drama teacher. I had and still have a lot of social anxiety, and in high school, I remember making the choice to sign up for drama class because it’s the scariest thing I could think of, but also the thing I wanted to do the most.
I did it throughout high school and it became part of who I am. I’m a self described theatre kid and my drama teacher is one of the most influential figures in my life because she encouraged me to write and encouraged me to do this thing that you love doing and it has led me down this path of being a creative person.
3. Selfies: Thoughts?
I love selfies, I will fight to the death for selfies. I’ve seen the power of selfies on Twitter and social media it being written about. It’s a way for people to gain confidence with their own body and image. I understand it through that perspective too because I’m constantly feeling unconfident and I have body image issues. So the fact that you have control of composing your own self image in what works best for you is an empowering thing.
4. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
Time and death. I’m constantly wondering if I’m doing the most to my potential and it’s really scary. To me, 27 feels old and I’m constantly like, “should I be doing more? How can I be doing more? How can I do the most with the time I have here?”
5. Do you believe in love?
Yeah, I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years and we’d been doing long distance for a significant part of it and I think you kind of have to believe in love to do that.
6. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
The reason you pursue what you pursue.
7. Do you think you’re represented in the things you consume in media?
No, absolutely not. I grew up without kind of having a figure in media that looked like me and was someone that I could look up to. I think it impacted me a lot because I had always grown up wanting to be a writer and before that, I wanted to be an actor. I always wanted to be in the storytelling / creative / entertainment / comedy industry, and not having someone who looks like you in the field you want to be a part of is kind of this horrible thing because it discounts you, it automatically defaults you into thinking there’s no space for you.
8. What do you hope will change in your lifetime?
More inclusivity, less gatekeepers, less cynicism, and support for people who are trying to do things in the world.
9. Do you think there's a certain pressure to live a certain life online?
Yes and no. For me, a lot of that pressure that I feel comes from myself and probably projecting my own insecurities about how one should do something, so I think that’s where the pressure comes from. But I think the other cool thing about living online is that there are less boundaries and you can carve out the space for yourself that you want.
10. What do you want out of this life?
I want to create enough things that make me feel like I’ve accurately concretized who I am.
11. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
That I have no idea how long things take. From the minute thinking it’ll take me five minutes to get somewhere, to the macro of being like, “oh this project will take me two months!” When instead it takes me two years.
12. How do you want to be remembered?
As an honest writer and as someone who is able to leave something in this world after I’m gone that will allow other people to connect.
13. What are qualities that you value?
Earnestness, Openness, an honesty in who they are and how they interact with others.
14. Fill in the blank, “I wish we had more _______ in the world.”
Art from a greater range of voices and experiences.
15. What do you hope 30 will look like?
I hope that I get to continue making things and exploring and figuring stuff out about myself.
16. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s?
Confusing and lonely.
17. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
The only thing that makes you happy is pursuing your dreams.
18. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
That no matter what you do, there are people that just aren’t going to like you.
19. What are you scared of?
Not being understood.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
It’s not uncool to see the good in things.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Passionate, Achievers, Progressive
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
Since I could talk, I’ve had a speech impediment so I think that’s changed me in a way that’s made me more compassionate towards people. I feel like that’s changed me into a person who sees the best in people in general. I see past issues and to see them for who they are.
3. Talk about your relationship with social media?
Positive I think at least. I think I post too much sometimes which I think is kind of okay but I think I put myself out there more on Twitter than I do in person. I think it’s more of a creative way that I can share things.
4. Who or What is your biggest motivator in life?
Probably my friends. I feel like my parents get me, but I don’t think they understand who I am as a person because they can’t. I think my parents see the best of me and I don’t think they can see parts of me that aren’t great. I think my friends can and they push me to challenge myself to improve those parts and I think that makes them the people who can make me the person I want to be.
5. Do you believe in love?
I do. I feel like I'm the person who wants that. The person who wants the kids, the house. I think I’m a person who doesn’t share when I do have feelings so I think when I’m at a point when I can have that, I think it’s going to be me partly getting that and partly me willing to get my heart broken. I think at 27, I’m almost at that point and in college I don’t think I would’ve been at that point. But I do think there is one person out there for me.
6. What’s one thing you want people to know about you?
I think as much as I portray a confident person online, I’m one of the most insecure people. Just growing up with a twin who was incredibly fit and smart, I felt like I was always second place sometimes and I’m just getting past that now. But a lot of what I feel about myself is critical. I think I have issues with my weight and hair (cause I don’t have any.) But I would say my biggest insecurity is not being sure people feel the same way about me as I do about them.
7. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
Being with my friends. I think it would be easy to say happiness is money because that’s what we’re taught. But I think I’m the most myself when I’m with my friends, that’s when I’m happy.
8. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
First is probably that running brings me joy in my life. I think I’m a person who’s panicky in general, I’m very anxious, so I feel like if I’m running it makes me more chill than anything else. I think what I also enjoy are my friends. I’ve had friends from camp who I’ve known since 2002 and they are the people who bring me joy and when I see them, I think I’m a happier person.
9. How did you feel after November 8th?
I cried when it happened and I think after November 8th I felt empty for a bit. I felt like we were taken by surprise. So I think that was part of it too that everyone was shocked. But since then, I think it’s grown into wanting to fight, change, and be better than we were. But since November 8th, I’ve wanted to stand up to him because I hate him. What I think has been good since then is that people have seen that he’s a terrible person. I also think it’s been more about the issues now than about him which is good because people aren’t taking him seriously because he’s a child.
10. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
I feel like the two go hand in hand in a job. I feel like if you’re happy and doing the job you want to be doing, that comes through in your work so you do have a job there for a bit. I took a job that I wasn’t sure fit me and I took a job that was technically out of college but wasn’t a job with students or kids. So I probably should’ve seen that I wouldn’t be fulfilled and therefore, my job wasn’t secure which is what happened. I do think the two go hand in hand. I would choose something I'm passionate about probably ahead of security.
11. Do you think there's a certain pressure to live a certain life online?
I think there’s a pressure to put your best foot forward online and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I don’t think people want to see when you’re depressed. When I do think it becomes an issue is when your true self is incredibly different from your online self. I would say there’s pressure, but it’s pressure you put on yourself to be positive, not from other people.
12. What’s something that makes you angry?
When I see people taking something for granted. It could be a job or a person. I feel like if you don’t sit down and see that what you have is awesome, what’s the point?
13. What are qualities that you value?
Compassion, Humor, Kindness, Drive, Courage, Spirit
14. Fill in the blank, “I wish we had more _______ in the world”
Time
15. What are your thoughts on the dating landscape in today’s culture?
Because I'm a person who watches a lot of movies, I’m a person that believes in true love, I’m a person who believes I’ll find somebody I went to school with, that I work with, or that I met at a park, I think that’s how I want to find love. I understand dating apps, I’ve tried them. To me, I don’t think that’s a good way to gauge who a person is and it’s superficial. It’s good for chatting but that’s it. Honestly, I think dating is the only time in my life I’m consider myself old fashioned. I think I would say I would like to hope I’ve already met the person I’m supposed to be with because that’d be a cute thing but I understand why people find it easier to date with apps, I just don’t think it’s for me.
16. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
Not to jump into something too quickly. Take time to ponder it, to see if it fits with who you are and make choices based on that. Make choices based on your heart.
17. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
That you can try as hard as you can at something, but it just might not be meant to be.
18. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s?
Honestly, your 20s get a lot tougher after college. Once you're in the world, your 20s become a time where people do things at different times. When people get jobs, when people get married. Once you’re past college, you’re 20s become a competition which I don’t think it should be, but it is a reality of some people’s mindsets. I also think your 20s are a time to be free and not have constraints of kids and all that.
19. What are you scared of?
That I won’t find somebody. I’m scared for that on a personal level and scared that my parents won’t get grandchildren and I’m scared that when I turn 80 that I won’t have anybody.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
That no matter who you are, what you do, that you are worth it.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Angry, Waking up, Oddly optimistic
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
My mom and my aunt. I grew up in Springfield, MA so my moms best friend since they were five years old lived above us with her four kids. So since my dad worked a lot and we grew up kind of poor, I was raised by my mom and my aunt and I consider myself a hybrid of the two of them. My mom’s a very anxious person and my aunt is a very “I don’t give a shit what you think” kind of person.
I’m lucky I grew up with strong women to look up to and to understand that it’s not easy to do this. Motherhood isn’t easy and I certainly didn’t make it easy on either of them, but they gave me a sense of humor, optimism, a willingness to fight for what I want, confidence when I didn’t always have it, and tough love which I needed. So when I think about who I am, it’s the two of them.
3. Selfies: Thoughts?
I think they can be empowering but at the same time, there’s a tipping point. If you think you look good today, take a picture and embrace that! I think being comfortable with your body and who you are is not an easy thing. So I think when you have a moment where you feel comfortable, and as someone who’s overweight, seeing women who are posting bikini shots and are overweight is empowering for me. There’s no shame in doing that when you feel good about yourself but at the same time, don’t obsess over it. It’s all about moderation.
4. Who or What is your biggest motivator in life?
My curiosity. I just want to see as much of the world and talk to as many people as I possibly can. I love to write so I want to hear as many stories as I can so I can tell as many stories as I can. So having an open mind and ear, you learn a lot and are forced to adapt and change the way you think. I think it challenges you to rise because when you meet and talk to interesting people you want to be like them or think “what can I do now?” You want to keep growing as a result.
5. Do you believe in love?
Yes. I think a lot of people focus on romantic love but I think love presents itself in a lot of big and little ways. I think when people are focused on finding it in the big ways, they can miss how it’s presenting themselves in small ways. I think it’s easy to overlook the constants in your life. I think when you find romantic love though it’s the best thing ever because you feel like you have a place in the world. That might just be because I’m in a new relationship so I’m seeing things through rose colored glasses. You don’t change who you are because of it, but you feel empowered in who you are because of another person in what they do and say and it’s a nice change of pace for me.
6. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
Being comfortable and confident with who you are because after that, everything falls into place.
7. What are your thoughts on race?
I think I’ve recognized especially the past year the privilege that I have. From that, I’ve learned two things: When I see something happening like if my family is making a joke that is inappropriate, instead of pushing my food on my plate, I need to say something because complacency is part of the problem. The second thing is when people of color are talking, shut the fuck up and listen. I can’t assume to know all of the problems because I’m not in that situation. I’m a white woman and I have my own problems as a woman, but a black, latina, or asian woman, those are problems I can’t even fathom because it’s so ingrained in their everyday life that I can’t assume to know. So when they talk, listen.
8. Do you think the American Dream is still alive?
I think the American Dream was a con to begin with. For most of America, the American Dream of working your way up from shoe shiner to CEO is impossible. Unless you know someone in a lot of power, you can’t really move up the ladder, and you’re going to most likely stay in the socioeconomic branch you grew up in. I think it’s really hard to achieve the “American Dream” in the traditional sense and it’s pessimistic.
9. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
This is tough because as a journalist, security is so rare that the dream is to have both and that rarely happens. I think it’s finding the balance or finding something that is so fulfilling that you don’t care. But I think you do need security from a practical standpoint. If you can have both, you hit the jackpot and I do think you have to be passionate about what you do, but you have to be damn lucky to have both.
10. What are your thoughts on marriage?
It’s good for a tax break! For a while, I didn’t know if it’s something I wanted. I think when I was younger and more naive, I think my hippie college brain was like “it’s just a piece of paper, why do I need this? Weddings are inherently kind of sexist.” But from what it means as a bond between two people, I think it’s really special, but you don’t need to do it and it’s not for everyone.
Some people don’t need someone else in their life, some people do. Some people find someone when they’re 16 and that’s who they want to spend the rest of your life with. Some people are going to date 20 people because they all help you grow into the person you’re going to be. I think everyone wants something different and marriage shouldn’t be the expectation. I think it’s something I want for myself but if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. People go at their own pace and they’re on their own timeline.
11. What do you want out of this life?
I just want to be happy and be surrounded by people who make me happy. I want to continue to lift people up in my life as much as i can. I want to hear and tell as many stories as I can, I think having a healthy sense of curiosity gives you that. Something that I’ve figured I have a natural knack for is getting people to open up.
12. What’s the most annoying thing about you?
I talk a lot. Sometimes I don’t know when to shut up and sometimes I say things without thinking how another person might feel and I’ll immediately regret it.
13. How do you want to be remembered?
As someone who was kind, genuine, and who tried to do the right thing whenever they could. Someone who thinks of others.
14. What are qualities that you value?
A sense of humor, thoughtfulness, authenticity, a sense of adventure, and a willingness to say “fuck it.”
15. What do you hope 30 will look like?
I hope it looks like fulfillment, happiness. I hope I’m more financially stable.
16. Fill in the blank, “I wish we had more _______ in the world”
Compassion
17. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
I think that relationships take work. I got lazy with some of them in college, and I’m really lucky the important ones didn’t walk away and I’ve been working a lot harder to make sure that they don’t. As you get older when people get in relationships or move away, it gets more difficult and it has to be a more active effort.
18. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
That you’re gonna die one day. I think being aware of your own mortality is a hard thing to face but having that impending sense of doom really just motivates you to do the damn thing and take the risk.
19. What are you scared of?
Losing the people I love.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
It’s a Hebrew word. It’s Tikkun Olam which means repair of the world. I’m not religious, but it’s something that just stuck out to me - leaving the world a better place. I think if people were in the mindset of doing something to make the world better, nicer, loving, compassionate, we would get a lot further.
I think my advice is to be kind and maybe it’s in small ways, but you’re going to impact people and those will have a chain effect. I think being kind goes a lot further than people want to believe. I think the default setting, especially when we get older and more cynical can be that people are terrible, everything’s awful, but if you fight becoming the default setting, you’re gonna impact a lot more people, you’re going to leave a lot more in the world, and create a lot more.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Creative, Independent, Defiant
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
I was raised by a lot of very strong women and my family is a lot of people who really believe in hard work, passion, independence, as well as the strength that comes with community. So I would say the people who shaped me the most would be my mom and grandmother because they really led by example and lead everything they do in life with love. My mom raised me when she was a teenager and my grandmother brought all of her children over to the states from Jamaica. She and my grandfather raised this whole family as the first generation to immigrate to the states and her perspective on life and work is always thinking about the person next to you as opposed to yourself so much. They shaped me the most because they are very strong, resourceful, compassionate, artistic people who always encouraged me to do the thing that I felt the most scared about doing but that I also felt the most excited about doing at the same time.
3. Talk about your relationship with social media?
Social media has become this necessary evil for a lot of people. I don’t think many people are thrilled to log on anymore, you do it out of necessity and habit. But I do think there are communities of people who are using it in ways that excite me. Social media kind of feels like this puzzle that isn’t quite connected to real life in a way that is meaningful. There’s still this projection of another self that we put out on Instagram or things we say on Twitter for attention, retweets or engagement and there is a more authentic version of someone’s self that they’re willing to present to the world. I really would rather not be on Twitter all day.
4. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
My friends. I’m really blessed to have a community of black writers and creators who support each other. We kind of found each other just through admiring each other’s work, our drive, and now our collective vision for what the future might look like online and other spaces. They are my rock and they are such beautiful people. I think whenever one of us shines, all of us shine and we try to make sure that we are always there for each other and lift each other up. Whenever I see them doing great work, it makes me want to do great work as well.
5. Do you believe in love?
Of course.
6. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
Community
7. What are your thoughts on race?
I think race is something people can use to both edify and bring down. When we talk about race, conversations on race are centered around whiteness and what whiteness does to other groups of people. But I also think that race is something that there is a deep sense of pride and individuality with it as well.
For me at least, my blackness is something that I carry a lot of esteem, pride, and joy because I love being black, I love being surrounded by black people, I love lifting black people up and singing praises and making it clear that what we do, what we make and how we live is valid, necessary and beautiful. So for me, race is something that even if it began as a system of oppression, wherein most cases a white person decided to marginalize another group that isn’t white, I think that we’ve come a long way and have established and built remarkable communities that identify as both products and overcomers of their own oppression which is a really amazing and devastating thing.
Whenever someone points at you and says you’re lesser than, in that process you’re able to become stronger. That says a lot about the resilience of your people and what they stand for and what they believe is true, which is in direct defiance of being called lesser than. Race is complicated and it’s messy and it’s fascinating. But as far as I’m concerned and my family and friends who are concerned, being black is a gorgeous, complicated, intricate, and a powerful thing.
8. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
Probably my sister Eliyana. She was born when I was 15 (we have the same mom and have different fathers) When Eliyana was born, she was the only sibling who shared the same mom as me and I was an only child in that sense in my mom’s home growing up. So when Eliyana was born, I felt this new sense of purpose in my life that I haven’t really felt before. I was having a conversation with her recently, she’s 9 now. We were talking about work, what I did that day and I said, “I was working with some of the developers on our team.” So I started to explain everything developers do, how they build things, how they code websites and she was like, “I think I wanna do that, that sounds cool.”
But whenever I tell her anything I do that involves someone doing something cool, she thinks she can do it. Without hesitation she’s like “my brother does something like that so I want to do something like that.” It fills me with so much joy and pride and I swell with emotion every single time she says something like that to me because it not only reminds me of the possibility of everything when you were young, but she’s this intelligent, brilliant kid who the world is not something that’s daunting to her, it’s something she wants to jump into and do amazing things in. Not to mention, she’s a really funny person.
9. Do you think the American Dream is still alive?
The American Dream is this idea of success that was only afforded to certain people for a long time. It’s like the biggest PR stunt in American History. The way that that was coded to mean something to white people was really astounding. The American dream wasn’t for me, it wasn’t for my family. I think it was something that was specifically invented and coded as a whisper to people who are privileged and already had access to that ladder that it describes.
The whole term and idea is really sinister to me because it was kind of pointing fingers at people and saying that the only way you can quantify your success is by working through a certain system to get that success and really not acknowledging the context that people bring with them when they come to America and a lot of time the context...is not one of coming here to build a better life, it was to survive.
There were a lot of promises that came with coming here, but it was not the golden vision that it portrayed itself as when people got here. For a lot of people who are black Americans, getting to America was not a choice. No, I don’t think the American Dream as it was invented and as it was pushed out to people and the ideology behind it is not something that i think is available to everyone.
10. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
Fulfillment.
11. What are your thoughts on marriage?
Marriage to me is mostly something that I think about in terms of choice and having the option to do something like that. I don’t like to be in people’s business as much, they can make their own choices, but I think people should...have the option to do that.
12. Do you think there’s a certain pressure to live a certain life online?
I think it definitely exists. I think that if people feel that pressure, they should always interrogate where that’s coming from and what they’re trying to emulate and go after. I think there’s always validity to anyone presenting themselves in any way they want to, but if that pressure is leading to them feeling negative about themselves or other people then I think it requires some inward questions about why that is and always taking a breath wondering why they feel the need to do this, and if that answer is truly positive, then that’s fine.
13. What do you want out of this life?
I would like to live without hesitation, to feel like I’m free of any system or any person. To make the people around me happy to be around me in a genuine way.
14. What’s something that makes you angry?
Inefficiency, people who are bad at communicating.
15. Do you think our generation is too focused on being politically correct?
I think whenever people talk about political correctness and what is too much and too little, the conversation should really shift toward: What is the intent? What are you trying to get someone to do? Are you calling someone out because you want to look cool or you want to look like you’re smarter than them, or you want retweets, or are you calling someone out because you’re genuinely invested in them getting better and being better. I am of the school of thought that I am not on this earth to educate everyone and I don’t expect everyone to do the same for me. So I think we really have to think about our intent and think about the fact that not everyone is going to change, not everyone’s going to get to that place with us that we’re all understanding of each other. Some people are just not going to make it there and you just have to let them fester in their ignorance. It’s too much work to be policing, correcting, and all that effort.
16. How do you want to be remembered?
Someone who in everything that they did was dedicated to making it better and helping people be their best selves and making their best work in conjunction with making things that are great.
17. What are qualities that you value?
Compassion, great work ethic, empathy, honesty, creativity
18. Fill in the blank, “I wish we had more _______ in the world”
Sincerity
19. How would you describe what it’s like to navigate your 20s?
There’s a lot of waiting for something to happen. I’m a hardworking person and I’ve put a lot of time into my career, friendships, and people I know, but I was still waiting for this script to appear to give me a recap and give me a path forward. I think it’s this year I finally realized that no one is going to write that for me except for myself, I have to take those steps to move. I think realizing that is daunting too because you don’t know which step to take or what to do. But I think the first five years of my twenties was a lot of thinking to myself, “oh people say when you’re 23 or 24 this or that should happen.”
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with? Always find your peace, always know where the sources of that are, and always make that your default in everything you do. There are times to be fast, there are times to be slow, times where you need to be bold and loud, but I think the one place people will always find the most clarity is when they’re at peace.
1. Would you describe yourself as a millennial? Why?
I would. I fall into the age bracket, but I think I also go against some of the stereotypes. I also think that people are hard on millennials. I think there’s good and bad, but I think we have a lot more to offer than people recognize.
2. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Connected yet disconnected, inspired, terrified.
3. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today.
I’ll talk about my coming out story. So I guess I started to figure myself out and who I was when I was in high school and I started dating a girl, but it was a secret and we were really close but no one knew. Then she ended up breaking my heart and I felt like I lost this ginormous piece of me and on top of that, I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. On top of that, I had no idea what these feelings were and what I was experiencing and I think for me, that’s a piece of my life that I always look back on. I remember there was a time where I thought I could never get through it, that it was never going to get better and it did.
I’ve seen my progress through it and I saw myself go through that situation and then meet my best friend now, Ariela, who I didn’t even come out to, but she reshaped my whole perspective and taught me how important mindset is, how you look at things, and I started getting more confident in myself. When I went into college I started dating someone and then I started thinking, “maybe this is me.” And the girl I was dating was like “I’m not going to keep this a secret.” So when I started to tell people, it was terrifying because I had never really done that before but I started to see all the support and see that frankly, no one cares as much as I did and it was an interesting shift that happened because the more confident that I got with this piece of me that seemed to take up my entire existence, the smaller its relevance to everything else became and it’s just one part of me, it’s who I date, who I love, it’s a community I’m a part of.
But coming out and owning who I was changed everything in my life. I remember looking back at people who I knew were gay or watched TV shows and would think, “Wow, that’s so great to be confident about that.” It’s crazy, somebody the other day said you’re probably that person to someone else. Now I can’t imagine my life if I were straight to tell you the truth. Coming out taught me so much about myself and it made me look so much deeper into who I was and face a lot of truths and realities beyond my sexuality. I think that the whole experience which I think remains to be important part of me. It’s been one of the most fulfilling journeys that I’ve been on.
4. Do you believe in love?
I do. I think it can be the best and worst thing all at once. I think it is really important and I think that the most important piece about love is that it teaches you how to be vulnerable and vulnerability is to me, one of the things in life you really can’t live without. I think if you’re not vulnerable and don’t allow yourself to be that, you miss out on a lot.
5. Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
Genuine and true when it comes from you.
6. What are your thoughts on race?
I’ve had a lot of thought and discussion about this. So I’m half black, half white and I basically grew up feeling like I didn’t fit into any one thing and I think that’s how my parents raised my sister and I, that you are you before anything else. It’s very complex and something that we constructed ourselves which is interesting to me. I think race is something that can’t be ignored and I think it’s important to see people for who they are versus what they are but you also have to have empathy for where people come from and what they are too.
7. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
Meaningful connections with people.
8. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
I would’ve said fulfillment when I was in college, easily, I wouldn’t even thought about it. And I’ll still say fulfillment, but I can understand the value in security now that I’m working and I think it only gets harder as you go through different periods of your life. I think that fulfillment is really important because without because without fulfillment, you’re basically not alive. I’m lucky to be in a situation where the job I’m doing brings me a sense of fulfillment and I feel pretty secure in it. But I think that the way things change and the way that you can never predict things, that it’s important to have a little bit of both, but if I had to choose one, I would say fulfillment.
9. What are your thoughts on marriage?
I love the idea of it. What’s cool about marriage is that everyone has a different experience. My parents have been together for 40+ years and married for 30+ years and they have a really strong partnership. I want to get married, but I also think that there are ways to show your love and commitment to someone without doing so and I think marriage is this construct that people usually have. At the same time I don’t think marriage equals the highest form of love.
10. Do you think there’s a certain pressure to live a certain life online?
Yeah, absolutely. I think you and I do it, anyone reading this does it. I think everyone falls into the pressure. We only put the best moments of our life online and it just creates this circle that then people fall into. I think that’s part of my love/hate with it and coming from a school where everyone worships people on social media that you could be having a bad day and decide to post on social media just to get some reassurance. I think it creates unhealthy and unrealistic habits and it’s something that I’m really mindful of.
11. What’s something that makes you angry?
Unwarranted hate.
12. How do you want to be remembered?
My hope is that people will remember ways that I made them feel, that they’ll remember conversations, and they’ll remember connections that we had. I hope that when people remember me, they think of someone who was real and authentic and brought some sort of joy to their life.
13. What do you think people can do to be more authentic?
From my experience, everyone has the person that they are when absolutely no one is there, no family, no friends, no one. I think we have so many layers of us that you have what you show people, you have what you feel inside, and then you have a layer that’s even deeper than that that you sometimes don’t even want to go to yourself.
So I think to be authentic, it’s really really important to dig into yourself. Open all the little doors, unpack everything, and ask yourself the hard questions. It’s not about the good stuff, not just the stuff you want to put on social media or the way you want people to see you. It’s about how you want to see you at your most vulnerable, at your most raw because that’s your sweet spot and that’s the only thing that makes you different from anyone else and what makes you different, that’s your power.
14. What are qualities that you value?
Authenticity, Depth, Vulnerability, Passion, Ambition, Honesty.
15. Fill in the blank, “I wish we had more _______ in the world”
Understanding.
16. What do you hope 30 will look like?
I hope at 30 I’m happy and fulfilled in different pieces of my life from work, relationships, to friendships. I hope I feel like I have a balanced life and am still connected to a lot of things. I hope that I haven’t lost my sense of curiosity and wonder.
17. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned so far?
The most difficult, challenging, impossible pieces of your life are the most important and the most valuable and you have to let yourself experience them. You have to go through, not back, not around. You have to let yourself find the why.
18. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
As someone who really loves to connect with people, I think I’ve had times where I’ve started to rely on these connections around me. I think it’s really important to have these, but you have to find people that compliment you, not complete you. You have to be complete on your own.
19. What are you scared of?
Losing people really close to me.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
Every now and then, take a step back and really see your life in the bigger picture, see where you’ve come, see how it all fits together, and see how much you have left to go and appreciate how beautiful it is.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Dissatisfied, Driven, Creative
2. Talk about a person or an experience that has helped shape you into the person you are today?
I think for me it was commencement in college. I went to Brown University and my parents showed up. Previously I had kept my life evenly divided. My social friends from school would exist in one realm and my family life existed in another realm. In that way, I could create these divides like latino culture and family life existed in one sphere and friendship and academic endeavors existed in another.
For me, my identity as a gay man was always more open with friends and academics, I was very open with people in school, about who I am and I was less so with my family. When my parents showed up to commencement it was weird because it was the first time since my parents brought me to school. So we’re sitting down and the president was flagged by two things that were draped by the windows in the building behind her. One was the Brown University flag and the other was the LGBTQ pride flag and I remember my mom turning to me and saying, “Oh that’s a weird thing to choose to hang behind the President to welcome new students.” In my head, I was like, “that’s exactly why I’m here.”
It was weird to feel that tension and to be in a moment where I sort of have to own it because these things are coming to a head. I can’t keep aspects of my personality separated and I think that moment was a weird catalyst for me where I was like, I have to invite my parents into this world and explain what it means to me instead of keeping a divide. I think that was a weird small first step in a lot of steps I later took as I became more comfortable with myself talking to them very honestly about things I wanted to do and my own identity.
3. What’s you’re relationship with social media like?
I love and hate it. I used to think Twitter was only good if you’re a celebrity or news outlet. Why would you want to read what people are doing throughout the day? But I’m realizing that social media is about how you use it. Yeah, there’s bullying, shitty language, and anonymous trolls, but it’s also a platform to reach people and engage people in terms of activism and in a message you’re trying to share. I think it exists in this intersection of entertainment media and journalism in a weird way.
I think before, if you wanted to reach an audience it was through TV, movies, or news. Now you can build something from the ground up and it feels a little more democratic that if people like it, they’ll come to you and return to it. So i think there are pros and cons but ultimately, I think I’m embracing its advantages as a platform.
4. Selfies: Thoughts?
I don’t take a lot of them. I have more lately which is interesting. I know a lot of my friends are really into owning the selfishness of their selfies because it’s a form of self care and encouraging them to be themselves and appreciate their own body and I think there’s something empowering about that. So I think selfies are fine, they’re silly and they’re good. It just depends how you frame things and how you view it. I think if you don’t put too much stock into how people on the internet receive you and you’re not obsessed with taking selfies to try to project some perfect image of yourself, then it’s fine. Embrace your face.
5. Who or what is your biggest motivator in life?
My mom. My mom got an associate degree and had me at twenty. I can’t imagine putting aside my social life and being a frivolous young person to take care of a child at twenty, so infinite respect to my mom for those sacrifices. I think just seeing her drive in making it work within her means has always inspired me to push more and do more.
So if I were a twenty year old with an associate degree, a crappy job, and I had a child, I don’t think I would’ve been able to push through those conditions the same way she did. So if this woman can do that, I can succeed when she’s laid out a red carpet in front of me to have those opportunities. I’ve seen what my mother's gone through and the sacrifices she’s made so that I can have better opportunities and a better life and I don’t want to take that for granted.
6. Do you believe in love?
I believe in love, I don’t necessarily believe in the way we’ve packaged ideas of love or the way we define love. I always want to push people to think of love beyond a romantic sense. I can love people that I’m not having sex with or want to marry. I love my friends, and sometimes I love my friends more intensely than I love people I’m in relationships with. I believe in love but I also believe in expanding the definition of love or the ways we can love. I think American culture is really eager to box in ideas of love or appropriate expressions of love. So yeah, I do believe in it, but I don’t think it’s like the stuff of Hollywood romcoms, I think it’s supporting your friends everyday and being there when someone is having a hard time, that's love, and I believe in the human capability to love.
7.Fill in the blank: “Happiness is _______”
What you make it. Making your own home, your own family, your own goals, and holding yourself to your own standards.
8. What are your thoughts on race?
Racial difference is still a thing that exists in this country and as much as I love a world where we don’t have to talk about racial difference, we exist in a world where people are treated differently because of race. So yes, I think it’s something we have to keep talking about and it’s something we have to learn to talk about in honest ways because I don’t think we can move forward on the burden that comes with focusing on racial difference until we’ve owned our history and can truly create a world where people are not judged based on race.
9. Do you think you’re represented in things you consume in media?
Yes and no, I think I’m seeing it more and more. I think it’s constantly changing so I think I’ve seen more latinx representation in the news certainly. Pointing to Maria Hinojosa, Soledad O’Brien, Maria Teresa Kumar, these are latinas who have really carved out a place for us to speak about our issues, queer activists like Jose Antonio Vargas, these are people I’ve seen as role models in the world of activism and not just engaging them but as people who were showing up in news and media. I think it’s so cool that people are turning to these activists as resources and voices to paint the full picture. So connecting with them through my work has been great, but I see people like that are changing it. So I want to support people who are changing the conversation and providing visibility in the right ways.
10. Is college overrated?
I don’t think an education or knowledge is overrated, I think college is overpriced. I think college is important to keep pushing yourself beyond what you thought possible or were normal. I really didn’t push the way I thought about the world until I got to college, I didn’t know the rich history of activism and struggle in Puerto Rico until I got to college and started pushing myself.
So I think furthering your education whether that is at a traditional college, through a community college, through taking classes that are tailor made to what you need, whatever you want to do, I think it’s imperative to push your education beyond high school and it’s imperative to keep pushing the limits of your knowledge and experience. I don’t think the only place you can achieve that is at a college where you’re paying 50k-60k a year, but it was the best place for the things I wanted to do and I think I’m better for it.
I also think it offered me an opportunity that taught me the ways I’m privileged and how I have to own and use that for the better. Because I didn’t really understand the privilege it was to go to a university and be able to get scholarships for that until I met people from other backgrounds, people I wouldn’t have met in high school or in my hometown and I understood the sacrifices they went through to get there. Oftentimes those sacrifices were more than what I had sacrificed so it put my life and my story into perspective.
11. Would you rather have security or fulfillment in your work?
Fulfillment. I’ve been let go a couple times from jobs, I’ve seen other friends let go. I’ve felt very dissatisfied in some work that i’ve done and when that’s the case and even when I feel like I could get fired or even when I have been laid off, I’ve been able to build something I’m happy with. To me, work is about gaining valuable experience and building friendships and connections, and you can do that anywhere. And you can only do that if you’re satisfied and surrounded by people that are doing work that satisfies you.
Fuck job security, if you can’t find job security in the company someone else has made, make your own thing. Go out and find a place that wants you. I think job security is overrated, if you haven’t pushed to get unionized in the workplace, you should always treat your job like you could be let go, and you’ll be owed nothing. So always have something that you own and that’s yours to fall back on or in your pocket. If you’re dissatisfied, then make it happen and be satisfied.
12. What do you want out of this life?
I just want to be happy and comfortable, honestly.
13. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
Not taking enough risks. I think I get really comfortable in certain routines and I really have to build up to make those bold choices or take that leap. What I wish I could do more is own that choice and that impulse earlier. A lot of times I think it’s easy to get stuck in a daily, weekly routine. I’ll go through periods where I go straight home after work and write a few jokes, but I stay home. Part of that is a social anxiety because it’s comfortable, I’m in my home, it’s something I can control. So I want to give up control and take leaps so I think that’s something I want to do more of in the next few years.
14. What’s something that makes you angry?
Bullying. If you’re making fun of someone because they’re different than you, like come on, it just speaks so much to your insecurities and it truly is helping no one.
15. Do you think our generation is too focused on being politically correct?
I think there’s a difference between political correctness and civil discourse or kindness. I don’t think it’s wrong to push for kindness, I don’t think it’s wrong to treat every human being as if they are deserving of the same rights as everyone else. To me, political correctness is a word that means putting a spotlight on one issue at the disservice of everyone else.
But to me, movements that focus on trans rights or black lives aren’t doing it at the disservice of everyone else. They’re saying “hey, most people or groups are offered this comfort in life and we would like the same thing. We would like you to be aware of the history of these words or ways of treating people.” To me, these movements aren't about policing language, people can say whatever they want, there’s nothing we can do to change that. When protesters, activists, teachers, students, kids ask you to call them a certain thing or speak to them in a certain way or encourage you to ask them how they’d like to be referred to, I don’t understand how that is a threat or risk or ruining our culture.
It’s just opening up our world and vocabulary to be more inclusive of things. Saying we’re too politically correct is just an easy out to not hold people responsible for the impact their words can have particularly as politicians. Because while your speech shouldn’t be policed, you should be aware of the fact that as your speech as a public figure, as a politician, has impact. So in those instances you do have to push back. But to me, ultimately what people are calling for political correctness is just a push for kindness and open mindedness.
16. How do you want to be remembered?
I would love for people to say that I taught them something and I made them laugh.
17. What are qualities that you value?
Honesty, a sense of humor, compassion, generosity, a sense of responsibility, self awareness, open mindedness.
18. What do you hope 30 will look like?
I want to be able to build something from the ground up, specifically something that can help give a playful or comedic platform to people like me. I know that I want to stay working in satire and politics. I know I want to keep giving a voice to the voiceless and I know I want to keep making people think about things that they otherwise wouldn’t have to think about or that they otherwise wouldn’t have been taught.
19. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
That your job doesn’t define you. I think while I was getting a degree and looking for work I was like, “I have to find something that’s perfect for me, speaks for exactly who I am, and lets me be true to myself.” and no job is going to give you that opportunity so long as you are working for someone else and collecting a paycheck, you will always have to temper something about yourself.
I think it’s important to draw that line and realize that the sacrifices you make for a job don’t define you. If it feels like it’s getting to the point where it’s getting to you and the sacrifices you make for the job are making you less happy as a person, you’ve gotta let it go. I define myself as a writer, comedian, activist, but those things don’t define me. I think those are all aspects of my areas of interest and personality that contribute to a broader picture.
Your first job out of college isn't going to be perfect and I really wanted it to be perfect. Make a few sacrifices but never let those sacrifices change who you are at the end of the day and don’t let your work swallow you whole. Every job is an exchange. Sometimes when people are celebrating a job, they might not have it a year later and they might be in a tough time or six months down the line they might realize it's not for them and transfer somewhere else.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
Learn to laugh more. I don’t think laughter is always frivolous, I don’t think that laughing at something means you don’t care about it or you think it’s dumb or silly. I think laughter happens in many ways. We laugh when we learn something surprising, we laugh when someone looks ridiculous, we laugh when we’re really happy and I think owning and leaving room for laughter and joy will do so much work for making people happier.
1. Can you use three to five words to describe our generation?
Driven, Idealist, Scapegoats
2. What’s your relationship with social media like?
I think it’s a mixed relationship. I’m really active on Twitter, I could probably be on it less. But it’s helped me meet people, land freelancing gigs, and learn a lot about the world around me so in that respect, it’s positive. I think that obviously with social media, you can get sucked into a weird reality instead of living in the space around you.
3. Where has our generation messed up and where have we succeeded?
I think our generation is extremely entrepreneurial and everyone wants to make their mark. I think everyone wants to be known for something which can make people hard working. One misconception of our generation is that we’re entitled but everyone that I know that’s a millennial is extremely hardworking, dedicated to what they want, and it’s more about wanting to leave a mark somewhere. But on the other side of that, maybe our generation is a little too idealistic. I think we can get our heads in the clouds a little bit.
4. Do you believe in love?
Absolutely. I think we probably need to reassess what love means. I think we’re too focused on love feeling good all the time when it’s much more about selflessness than anything else.
5. What are your thoughts on race?
I think we need to improve our conversation about it. It’s so polarizing right now that we can’t have constructive conversations about it anymore. What we need to do is sit down and have constructive conversations about it, how it affects people.
6. Who or what brings you the greatest joy in your life?
Meaningful relationships with people.
7. Is college overrated?
I wouldn’t say college is overrated, I think degrees are overrated. I don’t have a degree, I attended community college for two years, dual enrollment and then I was intending to go to college and never did, my situations turned into something else. I think we put too much value in a degree or favor a college education but I think you can get an education from experience.
8. What are your thoughts on marriage?
I’m actually a big old sap about marriage. I think one of the more tragic attributes of our generation is that we’ve become disenchanted by marriage, but I think it can be one of the more fulfilling partnerships. I think it requires dedication and it can be difficult. I’m not married, but the married couples I know in my life are such inspiring teams and makes me believe that marriage can be good.
9. What do you hope will change in your lifetime?
The way people on different sides of the political spectrum and different points of view see each other. I’m young, but the partisanship that we experience is so toxic and we can’t get anything done. I would just hope that we rebuild the middle ground between the two political spectrums.
10. What do you want out of this life?
I was once told that when we die, the two things that are going to be most important to us is relationships and experience and I’ve always held on to that and think it’s so true. I think money can help build experiences, but I think instead of creating personas of ourselves or stocking up on things, we need to focus on building relationships and creating experiences that we’re going to carry with us.
11. What would you say is your biggest character flaw?
I rush to judgment too early, quite often.
12. What’s something that makes you angry?
Irresponsibility, cruelty, and the MTA.
13. How do you want to be remembered?
Hardworking, thoughtful, as someone who stood up for the values I believed in, and kind.
14. Do you think people live their lives authentically day to day?
Offline, yes. I think most people can’t help but show their true selves. I think it always bleeds through one way or another.
15. What are qualities that you value?
Integrity, Compassion, not taking shit.
16. Do you have faith in people to do the right thing?
Not always, but I think that if the answer is a solid no, then we’re selling people short.
17. What does courage look like to you in practice?
Standing up for good but unpopular sentiments.
18. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn?
That people are much more complicated than they appear and sometimes those complications are very tragic.
19. What are you scared of?
Loss.
20. What is the best piece of advice you want to leave the world with?
The only things that matters in this life are relationships and experiences.
