adieux

goodbye, hello, the stains of my past // 18+; closed rp

[247kijung-blog]

ooc ,

AAAAAAA Hi guys! I’m so sorry for being inactive for the last week or so! I didn’t realise how much uni can take from me but welp– anywho! I am here to reply to threads and post a solo before time rhns out– aLSO!! New people! I welcome you to this glorious rollercoaster called 247!!!!!!! I’m sorry I didn’t get to welcome you all as you arrived, but I’ll get around to it ASAP ;))) In the meanwhile, I will go eat some breakfast before I come back. COME PLOT WITH POST-EVENT KIJUNG 8^D

[247kijung-blog]

unlocked secrets ,

[247jiyong]

( ... )

Shifting his feet restlessly, the cigarette between his fingers is nearly short enough to soon scald him. So, taking the last drag before stepping on the remaining filter, his gaze trails off and momentarily centers on the younger, once his voice resounds in closely noiseless ambiance. And again, he’s all ears.

“Some like you?” Jiyong asks rather rhetorically, as though to assure. Many would probably cringe and cold sweat would drip down their forehead, knowing that they’ve heard nothing similar to an ordinary admission that could be spoken so idly. Obviously, it isn’t a daily situation for him to be around a killer—the one he’s aware of, because who knows what really juices up the history even of minor pedestrians? “Well, you’ve had your motives,” Saying more clearly, he lets a corner of his mouth go upwards and somewhat form a warm smile. Does he also want to buoy Kijung up? “You gave him what he deserved and doing that by accident wouldn’t be the same,” He adds, barely believing that such statement is rolling off his tongue. Yet if Jiyong was to put himself in the male’s shoes, he wouldn’t be able to stand and watch the actual criminal live frivolously after depriving him of a loved one. So, he can’t blame him.

[247kijung-blog]

the words returned to him were ones he hadn’t expected. was this what it would be like if he had just reached out and confessed to others? would they be as kind as jiyong and less judging like him, too? it feels like it would be too real for him to comprehend, too nice, so he sticks to his earlier motives and decides to continue his life with as little confession as possible. kijung decided his secret is for jiyong’s ears alone. (but for some reason he is sure someone else knows yet his mind refuses to let him place a name and a face to connect the dots.)

“my brother. my twin brother.” he elaborates, perhaps a reward for jiyong’s patience and kindness for the moments they’ve shared together, but a part of him felt like he has been dying to rid himself of this burden and let a part of the load to fall off just so he can feel the brightness the world had to offer and let him live the life he had always craved. “in my point of view he was an evil twin. kind of cliche, isn’t it?” kijung chuckles, smiling at the ground.

he lifts his hand up to inhale another cloud of poison into this system only to realise there is barely any more of them stuck to the brown end of the stick, signalling an end to the conversation and their little session. a disappointed look strides across his face, wondering how time had went by so quickly, and he finds himself not wanting to leave the comfortable bubble the two of them had set on a calming night like this.

“I honestly wouldn’t know what I’d do if he lived. it would probably be a miserable life--” even more miserable than this “--but I also wonder if there were things I should have done--I could have done to not let it happen. it... sucks.” he finishes, tossing what was left of his cigarette to the ground and stomping on it to kill whatever fire left inside it.

“anyway, I believe our time is up.” he stands up, smiling at the male and patting the growling stomach demanding food. “anything else you want to say before we freeze to death?”

[247kijung-blog]

"kijung." taemin's brows are furrowed. "what was that blast about?"

he didn’t expect it at all, the voice that came from behind him snaking into his ears like a lullaby destined to only reap his soul and leave its remnants behind; a lullaby so soothing that kijung would gladly lay his soul to rest if it meant he would could hear it for the rest of eternity.

–but this one is not as soothing as he expected, instead sending earthquake-like tremors down his body and dislodging the fortitude inside him that had kept himself upright and normal, adjusting and cooperating to his environment. his breathing hitches at the thought of having to turn around and face the owner of that voice and he wished for nothing more but to be swallowed by the ground and never be seen again. he would do anything to save himself from the misconceptions that has already been planted inside the man’s mind–but the question is, are they misconceptions?

kijung clenches his fists, knuckles turning white and nails digging into his skin ready to tear it and let his blood drip to the ground to mix with the corpse’s. a sharp inhale to calm his nerves and he finds himself turning with a smile so stiff, so fake, that he wanted to vomit the false pretences shielding his body. lies make him so sick.

“t-taemin!” he greets with voice too unstable as his heart continue to beat against his cage, threatening to mimic the state of the corpse in that room. “t-the blast? what do you mean?” he tries it, he tries so hard but he can not–not in front of him, not in front of–

“I–” he chokes on his words and takes a step back, turning to wipe the tears he didn’t know already falling. this is not good, this is not kijung. he is not weak, he is not frail, he is not a man ready to reveal his past. taemin, he doesn’t deserve to carry the burden that has been pulling him down for the last four years. he turns back again, another smile plastered across his lips. “they’re just making up bullshit, y-you know–” his voice is strained, blocked by the lump that has made a home in his throat. “don’t worry about it! they-they’re just desperate at finding a kille–someone to blame.” another smile, a small laughter. he wants to go. he needs to leave; this is not good for him–he wants to disappear.

[247kijung-blog]

strings of reconciliation ,

@247jiwon 

he can't breathe. kijung can't breathe and this room is suffocating him with the gazes thrown at him piercing his body like knifes made with the sharpest of steel. the words thrown about leaves kijung in a daze, flickering his eyes from one person to another, watching lips that are ready to spill and accuse and let their words burn him like a witch at the stake. he didn't do it, he would never do it. he already swore to himself. 

pacing, heart racing, mind ablaze with the thoughts of the possibility of him being falsely accused and possibly be tortured in a prison cell with no escape. he only wanted to live a peaceful life and forget his past ever since it happened, to accept his sins and move on--but they only continue to haunt him and sew themselves into his soul without a chance of ever leaving him alone. is this what fate had in store for him the moment he was born? he always knew how cruel fate can be, but never this torturous. 

when he turns his eyes he spots a familiar face--friend? or foe? you can never tell these days--but his eyes familiar, his stature one that kijung knows had always mocked in the past. he doesn't know why but he found himself gravitating towards the man, lips pursed as careful steps advance towards him, and he starts to reach for him but stops himself before the other could notice. greet him, he is a friend... surely. 

"jiwon?" kijung begins, voice soft, afraid to startle the other. it's shaking, though, heavy with fear and desperate to find consolation from his old friend. "hey, um, how are you?" a dumb question at a dumb moment, but he can not find the right words that would leave his tongue without making him cry.

[247kijung-blog]

pointing to the ground ,

@nari247 

kijung felt it, the recurring buzzes that continued to vibrate on against his thigh after the darkness and the scream that echoed through the halls. there is a dead body--a real dead body--in front of him. the gush of blood and the splatter of crimson against the wooden floor leaves kijung in shock, nausea stirring in his stomach and threatening to force its way out of his pursed lips. he turns away from the body and secluded himself in a space where nobody else could bother him, embracing himself in its silence and trying grasp at what was left of reality other than death. 

when he feels another buzz, the phone lighting up against the darkness of his room and illuminating his sick stricken face. wary eyes read the text that spreads across the screen and his face only morphs into one of betrayal and anger. the only name that first pops into his mind is one belonging to a girl and a fucking asshole, apparently--jung nari. 

he wastes no time looking for her, swallowing the contents that had been threatening to escape him from the beginning. anger etches itself between furrowed brows and heavy steps echoing with the betrayal that embedded itself into his every being. how could she? how dare she? the question echoes inside his emptied mind, his only incentive to find the treacherous girl and--well, he hasn't thought of it that far yet; all he knows is he wants to find the reason why she had decided to do such a thing. was it the nerves? the panic? the fear of being locked up in a room with a murderer? 

         fucking hell. 

"jung nari." he begins once he is close enough to her, a hand grabbing her arm to twist her with too much force but kijung cannot control the anger that is pulsating through his being. "you fucking did it, didn't you? you posted that fucking blast." he hisses, brows furrowed, anger morphing into despair. "we had a fucking oath; how dare you break it?" the anger he tried to suppress only froths with more intensity, eyes ignited with fire directed at the girl and only the girl.

[jjeongukks]

62/∞ BTS series: holy kim seokjin

[chaerin247]

murder most foul || kijung + chaerin

Honestly, this waiting period for the event to actually start was the worst part. So much boring was happening. So many exes around her too, it was kind of awkward like “hey yeah I totally dating remember you- oh I screwed you over? Yeah I was really young, oopsie!” and there was only so many times she could say that before it really stopped making sense. She was only here for the mystery promised to her, not a class reunion.

She had finally broken away from an old, old, old friend (ew, why had she ever hung out with that girl?) and found a seat against the wall, crossing her legs and sipping some wine. She couldn’t see her date for the evening, but he was around here somewhere, surely. As she glazed her eyes over the crowd, however, she actually saw the one person in the whole school she never expected. How could someone like that have shown their face here? Wasn’t he scared of getting caught. Oh shit, he looked right at her, oh shit oh shit! She turned away fast, frozen to her seat for a long moment, before looking back up at him. He was within ear reach so he might say something to her, but so was everyone else and they would hear her scream if she needed to.

@247kijung

[247kijung-blog]

truth be told, kijung have absolutely no idea why he agreed to come to this place. the familiar faces that flooded his vision and the stares that continued to jab him only made his heart beat faster, strong enough to burst through his rib cage, and the anxiousness consuming his mind. there was a good reason why he decided to get out of the school and disappear; he wanted to forget it all, he wanted to be forgotten.

but how could he say no to sohyun? the sweet girl who had done nothing but to try and bring the best out of kijung for as long as she knew him, introduce the man to the world that might be transforming--that is morphing. but it doesn’t change the discomfort that had settled on his shoulders the more he lingered at this event. there’s just something doesn’t feel right, the urge to get out of this darned place getting stronger by the second. his eyes has been locked on to the clock on the wall for the last thirty minutes, morphing to an hour, in hopes of making time go by faster for the completion of this dinner night. 

the discomfort he felt jabbing on his back only thickens once he realises someone is looking at him, an accusing gaze glazed with fear that was too easy for kijung to recognise. their eyes lock, and his heart only falls harder when the fear he thought had imagined was real--genuine. it takes him a while to remember a name from that face, searching through the least six years of memory since high school. a name touches his mind, woven by his tongue--chaerin.

“hey--” before he knows it, he’s after her, desperate to clear out a misunderstanding that is too easy to read. maybe that was one of the reasons why he came here, to wipe away those misunderstandings bubbled from their death. kijung grabs the woman’s arm, hoping to stop her, before speaking. “look, I don’t appreciate you ogling your eyes at me like that.” he begins, slowly letting go of the girl, realising too late that the words leaving him are not the ones his mind has constructed. “if you have something on your mind then say it, we have plenty of time here.”

[247kijung-blog]

stitched together ,

[247ltm-deactivated20160512]

( ... )

his coffee remains intact, but the stranger(?)’s doesn’t. without even looking  at the victim, taemin blinks, ready to step over it and go on with his day, but then he hears his name and – that voice. he turns, and his mouth falls open a little. it happens no matter how many times he sees him. 

he stares, momentarily lost for words. he wonders what he’s done to deserve this horribly awkward situation, seeing kijung in a public place when he has to try so hard to forget his faceevery time. (truthfully, he’s done a lot of things that would make him deserve even worse than this, but that’s not the point.) but of course, he recognizes him immediately – those lips…

 he shifts, looking away as he drinks more of his latte.

“yah… you’re following me, aren’t you?” 

[247kijung-blog]

he blinks. once, twice--three times before he manages to conjure up a response for the male in front of him. what can he do when he’s seen that face one too many time outside of... ‘their space’? he doesn’t know what to do when his eyes locks with the other, only finding his words once he remembers his spilt coffee, and suddenly the anger that he managed to suppress surfaces.

“why would I follow a loser like you around?” kijung begins, standing up straight once he picked up what was left of his order (a cup and barely a drop of coffee. great), eyeing the man that many young girls envied. the air of arrogance palpating from the other made his mood worsen, wondering why in the first place they agreed to met up. kijung is beginning to regret his decision.

“you are paying for my drink whether you like it or not,” he continues, tearing his gaze away from taemin and settling on a few girls behind him. there were recognition in their eyes and kijung wants to use this as an opportunity to take the piss out of him--but he’s better than that, better than taemin (or so he likes t think). “you should have waited till you’re outside before checking your phone, now look at what happened.” kijung is not usually the type to be angry over such petty things, but once you’ve stumbled a face you’ve tried forgetting for the last week, it’s amazing how even the smallest things can get very frustrating.

without waiting further response from the other, he puts his hand out, an unimpressed look morphing his face. “give me your money. you’re famous, right? you should have plenty in your wallet right now. I want compensation for seein--for you standing in my way.” kijung bites his tongue for what was about to slip out, furrowing his brows in hopes that the other did not notice. “and my coffee.”

[247kijung-blog]

art composed to he that lingers in mind ⇾ @247ltm​ 

“ questions continue to haunt me

  yet when I look at you

  it feels as though the answer 

  is staring right back at me. “

[247kijung-blog]

Dear person I had a crush on,

LETTERS : not accepting

dear x x x,

you were beautiful – for a moment.

I thought maybe I saw you at the wrong time and the wrong place, and that I was too young to understand what it really meant like to like someone or else things would have gone differently. you were so kind, that I can see, and the mask which you wore just made me believe that that is all there is, that is all I needed.

but once again, I was wrong.

I should have known there was something more to you, something more sinister that waited in the shadows and ready to pounce on the innocent. was I about to become a victim? I certainly hope not. my friends told me of the things that you did, of the things you were capable of. for a moment, it terrified me. what if I had come too close? would I still be who I am? 

yeah. still terrifying.

but then I think about what it would be like if I went to you instead of them; maybe you were the one for me and things could have been different. but fate had other plans, I was young and I became selfish.

it was nice knowing you, but lets not cross path again.

  -- kijung

[247kijung-blog]

Dear Brother,

LETTERS : not accepting

dear brother,

you always did think you had everything in the palm of your hands, always getting things to bend to your will and follow your every order. the first time I met you it was like looking into a mirror, except it was broken and stained with something I couldn’t quite recognise back then. I thought that I could befriend you, but the closer I went the more I realise what a demon lived inside you.

I wonder how you manage to crawl yourself back into this darned family, how you even made it past the entrance exam to my school; but you did, and I rue the day they accepted your name.

I noticed you copying me, morphing yourself into a person you never were and never will be, and even fooling those closest to me. I sometimes ask myself why you did what you did and often blamed myself for the things that happened; did I do anything hurt your pride? or was it the jealousy that you let grow and consume you to the point of death?

nevertheless, there is no use worrying about the dead.

so tell me, brother, how does it feel to burn?

 – kijung

[247kijung-blog]

Dear Bunny,

LETTERS : not accepting

dear bunny,

I miss you.

I miss your smile, your laughter, your smell.

I miss treading my fingers through your hair and I miss the way you lead with such vigour. 

I miss having my heart in your hand, and yours in mine.

I miss being able to watch the stars with you,

and the way your eyes glowed whenever you saw something so unique yet so perfect,

just like you.

I miss the curve of your body and the way it fitted so perfectly against mine.

I miss you so much, bunny.

I’m so so r –

[nari247-deactivated20160524]

Secrets|| KKJ&LN

@247kijung

Why was she here?

Oh that’s right- Rocky was out of food and Seokjae hadn’t stopped saying ‘kitty’ and what felt like years. There were very few words in his vocabulary but somehow, he always managed to say what he needed to. In all honesty, Nari had completely forgot that Kijung worked here because why would she bother letting any information about him stay in her head? For all she cared, he could take her secret and rot in hell.

But alas, she couldn’t just turn around and leave now. He had already turned and saw her and Seokjae had already seen the kitties which means no way was she going to be able to leave without Seokjae throwing one hell of a fit and there was nothing graceful about that.

“Ah, so you’re not in prison yet.” The girl said cheerfully as she undid Seokjae’s stroller and picked him up. “Too bad- I was in the Northwest part of town yesterday and heard tons of sirens… No way could I be that lucky though.”

[247kijung-blog]

the centre was supposed to be his safe haven: no judging eyes, no poisonous words, and most of all there was no lee nari, the bitch that somehow knows his secret and just loves to get on his nerves. the animals here were good to him, unlike some people he has met.

he was just mopping the floor after a rather unfortunate accident befalling the place when a cute kitten either swallowed food that went in the wrong way or excitement that was too much for the body to handle. either way, any mess here means it’s kijung’s job to clean up and to be honest, he doesn’t mind. it’s relaxing to him, somehow, and it lets his mind drift off from whatever worry that managed to crawl into his mind to the task at hand.

the sound of the door bell echoing through the door catches his attention, only to let his eyes land on a face that made his face wrinkle with disgust. “what do you want?” he hisses, “are you here to visit your relatives? I’m sorry but there are no pigs here -- you probably ate them all.” he finishes, deadpanning the girl and returning his attention to mopping the floor.

[247kijung-blog]

changing faces ,

@247jh

kijung started the day by waking up from a nightmare. memories from his high school days had flooded his mind where he thought he would finally be free of those experience, where the night when it all happened chasing him into the depth of his crevices. it sets him with unease, the feeling clinging to him throughout his whole day where not even work manage to let his mind off its grasp.

the afternoon breeze welcomed him with a tinge of peacefulness he didn’t know would be there, yet a looming sense of darkness still refused to leave him. he walks with heavy steps, pulling his hoodie down to protect himself against the biting cold air. he just wished for nothing more but to get home now, to sleep, and forget about the memories that continue to come back to him. 

he was so focused on going back home that he didn’t notice the person he walked right into. a sound left his lips, a small pain spreading from his shoulder. “oof-- sorry. are you okay?” he turns to the male, fixing his hoodie before focusing on the man that fell. a sense of guilt manage to pulse through him for a moment, but it left as soon as it appeared. “I should’ve seen where I was going, sorry.” he says once more, though his face spells out nothing but tiredness.

[247kijung-blog]

past. bitter bitter ,

[247hyeri-blog]

“are you seriously getting mad at me right now?” hyeri asks, disbelief obvious in her voice. “really? after everything you’ve done?” she lets out a humourless laugh as her eyes roll dramatically. “you’re incredible- kijung. really fucking incredible.” the girl starts pacing, her mind obviously spinning with everything she’s just learned.

“you don’t get to talk to me like that–you are not allowed to talk to me like that.“ hyeri yells, her own hands rising up to mess and then fix her perfect hair. “i cannot believe– why did i ever think you were someone worth my time? why did i ever think you were worth my effort?” she scoffs, moving to poke the boy roughly in his chest. “you’ll be fucking sorry. you’ll regret that you ever played a girl like me.”

[247kijung-blog]

kijung chose to stay silent this time, watching the girl through careful lens as she paces in front of him. he thinks he would be able to take it, with all the ridiculous banter she had thrown at him. sometimes he wondered why he bothered holding on to her when his heart clearly belonged to another -- was it guilt again? or maybe pity? whatever it was, it didn’t matter. after all he could have told hyeri earlier and be spared of the mess he has placed himself in at this moment, or maybe he should never said yes to bunny... but it was bunny, how could he say no?

“excuse me?” kijung lifts a brow, patting his chest because damn, the girl can poke. “are you threatening me? how adorable.” he hisses, turning from the girl. “well, that’s that. I think it’s best if we don’t see each other in a while -- if possible, ever.“ a part of kijung wants to apologise towards hyeri, the sweet girl that managed to capture his heart -- but his pride refused to let him; he is kim kijung, the boy many admired, no way is he going to apologise.

so he walks away without saying another word, shutting his ears from any more words that would come to him.

[247kijung-blog]

digital connection ,

@247moonbyul 

the event that he was dragged to for the night had been… uneventful… in kijung’s eyes, at least.

everyone is trying so hard to look cool, even the set looks cheap in his eyes. what’s the point of this reunion anyway? to rekindle old flames? to mock one another of the future they are in? it’s ridiculous. there is absolutely no point in going to this party if it was to start drama, and he’s pretty sure miyoung is the gossip girl. whatever the case, he’s going to make sure sohyun pays for dragging him here.

like all other people who are bored and have no friends to talk to, he pulls out his phone, a glass of whiskey clasped underneath his other hand, the glass catching the various light of the set. the glimpse of a mobile device in this kind of setting makes him look so out of place, an asshole, maybe – but kijung could care less, he silently hopes he’ll be kicked out soon.

looking through his apps, his eye catches on a certain one before a flash of a name pops up into his mind. moonbyul. they were supposed to meet here, maybe, he can’t really remember anymore, but he has grown close to the female through their various chats throughout the days when he was too lazy to do anything. she seems cool and is just the right amount of fun – maybe he’ll be able to get out of this darned atmosphere, even if for just a moment, if he can find this girl.

{ mssg : moon } I’m stuck at that party thing

{ mssg : moon } everything looks so cheap. it sucks.

[247kijung-blog]

tracks 120416

another tracker to keep me up to date! other starters, replies, and asks will be written out this afternoon :D with that said, if I haven’t plotted with you yet come like this post and plot with me! I still have some open plots on my page so u kno the drill ;^))

writing: nari (starter) ; letter asks (3)

plotting: seohyun ; soojung ; chaerin ; jimin ; if I missed anyone please let me know !

waiting: jiyong ; sammy ; sohyun ; taemin ; hyeri ; junhong ; bianca ; moonbyul ; idk if that’s all but take your time!! 8^)