Pacifist

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best realisations to have

realisation that you’re not particularly attractive for your peer group

realisation that you’re not quite jolie laide either

realisation that your conversational role is sometimes active reflection of others’ immanent, immediate muse qualities

realisation that your role in relationships is sometimes to buffer irrationality, not supply it

realisation that who you (specifically) are is about what you do which is about how you see which just is who you are

realisation that people sometimes don’t want to feel good

realisation that you want your parents

realisation that no amount of personal ‘fulfilment’ or ‘achieving your dreams’ no matter how long it takes or how much work will ever ever ever feel better than just satisfying your parents’ wishes

[sharameetstreet]

[celebrityworshipsyndromee]

[celebrityworshipsyndromee]

[othersystems]

J. M. W. Turner -Light and Colour (Goethe's Theory) – The Morning after the Deluge – Moses Writing the Book of Genesis 

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dreamed i turned 21 and woke up so amused by the notion that i would ever be 21 lol god i really have to d.a.n.c.e. my age

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Laid down on my hotel bed and listened to Atmosphere then Ceremony and it was like the very first time.

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I never look naked in the mirror, but I can now feel hard muscle with my fingertips under my shirt, so.

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If you can’t be with the translator, join them. Kristeva’s Possessions! Like a macabre fairytale, so delicious to translate. Had the overwhelming sensation of chipping through dense rock towards raw gem. When my French is better the rock will translucify then erode and I will miss this feeling.

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Taking this line after the hotel owner told me this morning I’m Marie Curie I belong in the 19th century and I’m going to meet my Pierre! And humans have no morality without God. Ok.

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Ok…

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Taking this line after the hotel owner told me this morning I’m Marie Curie I belong in the 19th century and I’m going to meet my Pierre! And humans have no morality without God. Ok.

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London 2024 levels of homesick

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i have the worlds most rigid and indefatigable circadian rhythm, slept 15-22 by accident(???) aka waking at 6 my time as always but woke up here in this bad hotel in the persisting twilight and wandered around like the opera house groggily all the restaurants still packed and then sedated myself to sleep again midnight to 3:30 then finally 4-4:30 and woke up hysterically crying out of missing my mum

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My French is literally significantly better than my German. Is the truth that reality keeps forgetting.

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13:43 landed at 05:30 haven’t slept since Australia sunbathing in a library courtyard still can’t check into my accom all devices dead legit in another dimension and so far today in Paris already had two long conversations in German mixed with a little French one Tunisian fruit seller (who learnt German in Tunisia?) und ein Architekt, der aus Stuttgart kommt, aber I’m like switching in the same sentence not even sure what language I’m speaking anymore. And it’s mutual. Es and ist. Also to buy thinking time. French sentences that walk right into the fateful trap of a ‘but’ for which I’ll say aber instead of mais und dann sind wir für immer in Deutschwelt. French verb at the end of clause that began ‘parce que’. And an Afghani guy stopped me for directions which also wounded up being an impossibly long Franglish conversation. Wounded up. Um the management consultant who kept telling me to tell my father he raised me well? What were we talking about, infidelity, money, attachment? Tunisian guy and I couldn’t for the life of us conjure up the word for fridge in any of the languages at our disposal and eventually I landed on la boîte froide which must have been an attempt at Kühlschrank… it’s a lot like that residency in Turkey which was a social experiment that made us all trilingual and like inglourious basterds which I just watched on the plane but feel like I’ve really done it now, scrambled myself past the point of no return. That Serbian-Dutch-etc baby who grew up in South Korea or something and developed its own language intelligible to nobody but its own mother. Les bébés en général.

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Takeover @janeofabbesses