3.8 Months

When limbo ends. Or does it ever?

[3pt8months]

Just like... I'm the oldest cousin :(

[3pt8months]

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people I went to junior college with. A smart, ambitious bunch, who seemed so much younger than I was. They're more or less the age I was then now, which is weird. But what happened? Med school dreams? UC's? It was a fascinating time of feeling removed and yet involved. I was so impressed with them, so intimidated. But when I picture that time, I picture sunshine. I remember my professor of chemistry testing up when we left. In retrospect, I think I teared up a bit too.

[3pt8months]

The perfect day.

My friend's last day in SF.

It was her, who is amazing. Plus perfectly warm weather in a part of the city far away, that I really missed, which sparkles in this weather. Plus beer and fried foods in the middle of a workday.

The perfect afternoon.

[3pt8months]

Saying goodbye to my bff tonight.

So many memories, I can't even count them.

I've been lucky. That's all.

[3pt8months]

Young and carefree

2007

What a year it was

[3pt8months]

I did it

I went to the 5 stages of grief when I came to my hypertension. I'm not happy I have to deal with it, but I finally got on meds. And I'm feeling a lot more relieved these days.

[3pt8months]

Half

How the hell do I still have half this program left?

Have to find ways to make it enjoyable.

[3pt8months]

Shining

I dreamt about my beautiful boy last night. His eyes were shining.

Right before he was put down, we waited in the parking lot for the vet. It was the weirdest feeling of just wanting this to end and wanting to spend as much time with him as possible.

At one point, I hopped out of the car and looked at this beautiful face. His eyes were shining.

It was a sight I won't forget.

[3pt8months]

Saying goodbye

Leaving my hotel today. I've been here for two months. The place I'm moving to is nice, but I'll miss this hotel. Responsibility free. And I've lived the remnants of my summer here.

[3pt8months]

Dreams

I had a dream about my buddy last night. Last dream I had. I was scratching his stomach outside when my alarm went off.

Miss that guy every day.

[3pt8months]

He died with a big smile on his face.

It was torture for us. But I'm glad he went out that way.

[3pt8months]

Alternate universe

Part of me is living in an alternate universe.

Across the country. New school, new friends, new me?

[3pt8months]

One month

And I still cry every day

[3pt8months]

House

It's no longer my house.

He was he tie between my past and my present.

It's time to move on.

[3pt8months]

I was so angry at my sister for foisting you on me. I wanted to walk by myself, and I had to take you with me.

I clicked on this song. I looked down at you... and fell in love.

The melodies of this song and the beat of your happy, wagging tail melted my heart. You were so grateful, so positive.

From then on, walks were a joy for us.

[3pt8months]

11.5 years

2007: i just met you, but I fell in love with him a few hours. You were cuddled in your bed with your favorite toy, and I knew you were a special guy.

2008: for six months, you and I were best buddies. I walked you every day and you then embarrassed me at the dog park. We came home and played with the boy, your toys, the blanket. You ran down the hall, so excited about life.

2009: it was a quick trip, but seeing your sweet face made it worth it.

2010: you were still a puppy to me. You were patient as I tried to figure out my life.

[3pt8months]

I woke up to this song playing at the end of "Rick and Morty"

And then the day got worse.

Yep, i definitely feel it.