SETTING: Arbetsförmedlingen but in english I will look up what you call it
Betty has submitted her CV and personal letter to be reviewed because she's not finding any jobs and she doesn't know why. She is in a career coach's office.
CC(you can't see her face but she's a woman): Thank you for being with me today, Betty. I hope you found the place alright.
Betty(smiling): Thank you for having me!
CC: I understand times are tough for you right now. It's not just you, we're booked up for the next three months. Consider yourself lucky we could squeeze you in on such short notice.
Betty (smiling): Oh, the pleasure is all mine!
CC: Let's cut to the chase, then. I reviewed your CV and cover letter.
Betty (smiling): ...yeah?
CC: My prognosis for your future in the workforce is UNEMPLOYED FOREVER
Betty (smiling): ..............?
Betty (smiling): I started working when I was 12?
Betty (smiling): I've done volunteering and after school activites and my grades in high school were excellent?
Betty (smiling and shaking): I USED COLOR AND SHAPE PSYCHOLOGY TO DESIGN MY CV? THE BLUE BACKGROUND TO COMMUNICATE THAT I'M CALM AND DOWN TO EARTH? AND THE YELLOW RECTANGLES TO SHOW I'M ALSO SERIOUS AND PROFESSIONAL?
CC: Betty. Betty. Stop thrashing around. Let me lay it down for you.
Your CV is carefully designed. I can tell you have a creative soul and probably have aspirations in you that are larger than a service job.
Your job experience is diverse and spans multiple years...which means you're probably familiar with your rights as a worker.
Your cover letter says you are available weekdays. This shows that you value work-life balance and will not compromise on your well-being for the good of your employer.
Do you know what this means, Betty?
CC: You're intelligent, Betty. Intelligent people don't get jobs.
Betty (smiling and sweating): I-I'm sorry... I've had jobs before? L-Like, I don't want to deminish your expertise, but I've never struggled to find work until now.
CC: How old are you, Betty?
CC: Right. An adult. Likely an adult with hopes and dreams and KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR RIGHTS AS A WORKER. You know what pay you deserve. You know that weekends and nights are for personal time. You would report sexual harrassment.
In other words, you are worthless on the job market and also a hag.
Betty (she is so well behaved): ....
CC: Honey, we get girls like you in here every day. No use sugarcoating it, the world will not be kind to you just because you dress like that. My advice is to run your CV through ChatAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOHGODOHFUCK, slap it in a plain word document, and eat shit forever.
CC: You could also just drop the "perfect girl" act and-
Betty (eyes open): Thank you so much for this meeting I need to ctach my bus have a nice rest of your day
Betty runs away. The career coach doesn't bat an eye, just lets her do it. She sits there for a while. An alarm goes off on her phone.