Return.
Sade Olutola
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

⁂
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Claire Keane
Xuebing Du
Misplaced Lens Cap

titsay
Game of Thrones Daily
sheepfilms
Today's Document
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
tumblr dot com
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
$LAYYYTER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

oozey mess

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almost home
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@aaello-w
Return.
What does it take to teach a bee to use tools? A little time, a good teacher and an enticing incentive. Read more here: http://to.pbs.org/2mpRUAz
Credit: O.J. Loukola et al., Science (2017)
@clockworkrobotic
“Friend? Friend push ball? I push ball. I do good.”
Bees. Smart enough to push a ball, not smart enough to not be fooled by a stick masquerading as a bee.
maybe they know and they’re just being polite
Other dimensional beings are undoubtedly amazed at what human beings will accept as human beings too. “But it’s just a stick with a person on it.”
#excuse me neil but what the FUCK was that #thanks for that terrifying thought (nooby-banana)
NEIL WHY. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT.
This turns up on my dashboard. And I read it and am impressed that someone writes exactly the post that I’d write, without actually reading the name of the person who posted it.
And then I’m puzzled at all the Neil Why’s, and realise that this was me in the Wayback Long-ago.
At least I’m consistent.
And, I should point out, we are no closer to being able to spot the extra-dimensional stick “people” who move unobserved among us.
What do you mean, wouldn't said stick ppl be politicians or rich ppl the beings would be using as overpowered ocs?
REASONS TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE:
why the fuck do you need reasons just be nice to people omfg
By someone who knows nothing about Scaramouche nor genshin lmaooo. It's not really him persay but definitely inspired by him.
The Six Aura Types
Hot Take: Eri goes through a "Fight Me!" Phase.
That is all
do no harm but take no shit
her “fight” phase is just her willing to throw hands for her family
bonus:
alternate ending:
Where is your skeleton
idk if i should tell you mr skeleton-fucker69….
“poison is the coward’s weapon” boo hoo sounds like someone’s sodium channels are easily inhibited
Outfit for Mina Ashido
Versace Spring 2016
I saw an opportunity and I took it
This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die
For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.
Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:
I won’t hesitate bitch
Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow
Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read
Kermit the Frog jumps off building
Fr e sh a voca do
back at it again at Krispy Kreme
There is only one thing worse than a rapist
Club Jam (yes a really good book)
At least the taco was free
I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand
Grandma loves ping pong too much
If your name is Junior
Welcome to Target
I’m just cooking pizza
Cole Sprouse dress-up game
On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf
Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)
Kid smacked by fly swatter
Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)
Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)
WE’RE BREAKING FREE
SAIL
I’m Squidward
So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies
So no head? (breaking skateboard)
Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)
No off topic questions (Chris Christie)
What the fuck, Richard
Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)
Bored as shiiiiii
Liberian accent (plasma globe)
New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)
Summertime sadness (chicken)
More like hurricane TORTILLA
I got an a-bor-tion
All Around the World (TheJasminator)
When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light
Snake licks lollipop
Accept yourself, love yourself
Be whatever you wanna be
Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)
Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho
Can I please get a waffle?
Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)
Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)
Kevin, watch the light dude
Horse meditation
A girl a dream & a clothing hanger
Is that a weed? (911 microwave)
Helium balloons (floating car)
Fireplace fairy
I’m your freestyle dance teacher
I can’t believe you’ve done this
Which way the Quiznos is
Impossible paper toss shot
Hemtube (dancing with cat)
I nurture my skin (Shaq)
Why are you running
Happy birthday?
Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)
Farkle falling
Fuck you (soda machine)
Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)
Take On Me
And now my sock is wet (water gun)
All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala
When there’s too much drama at school
Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub
What’s your name? (ouija board)
Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)
Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)
Girl scared of convertible car
Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)
Would you like the spider on your hand?
Shopping cart crash
We actually have the chip reader now
I’M A GIRAFFE
Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)
I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke
the most iconic memes of our decade
Nothing but the love I have for this.
Humans are Weird “The Cuteness Principal”
Hey guys, just wanted to get something small and fun out for this week. It isn’t very long, but I hope it’s funny, and you enjoy it :)
The Intergalactic Journal of Behavioral Psychology and Neurobiology
Humanity survives just like any other species. The Biological imperative demands that they continue their species through offspring. All species have this imperative ,though it is shown in different ways. For the Vrul, a sense of duty and logic evolved to tell them offspring was necessary; for the Rundi, the maturation of offspring is inevitable and not up to them in the first place. However, for humans the issue is a bit tougher to understand, for if you know anything about human offspring you know that they are helpless, loud, smelly, slimy, and generally unpleasant requiring years of parental care before they are capable of taking care of themselves. However, evolution created an ingenious way to not only keep humans from murdering their offspring out of frustration, but to make them WANT offspring.
This need is known as the “Cuteness Principle”. We don’t completely understand it, but we know that certain physical characteristics cause the release of the pleasure chemical “dopamine” in the human brain. Generally humans are rather bad dealing with these feelings and can react with perceived aggression, or feigned sadness. The two most common feelings include the desire to squeeze the cute thing or the over-exaggerated “awwwww” noise.
Now, only humans can accurately confirm what is cute, but we generally find things with large eyes, big heads, and small noses will do the trick. Unfortunately humans can also find inanimate objects cute. By utilizing the inverse size to width ratio, you can make an object cute to a human; that is if you make something stubby and fat a human will probably think it’s cute.
Anything that fits under this category is likely to attract human attention and the overwhelming desire to protect or take care of whatever it is.
“Alright everyone, now remember, the GA reports say the Celzex are a very proud warrior race and have easily offended honor. It is important that we remember to treat them with respect, difference, and maybe a little bit of awe or fear, you know to boost their egos.” Commander Vir said adjusting the captain’s cap atop his head and straightening out his uniform.
In deference to this new, and proud warrior race, they had all donned their most formal garb. The Commander wore his uniform complete with cords, gloves, and ribbons while Sunny had done her ceremonial Drev armor. Krill didn’t wear clothes, so he just came as is. A couple of the marines and a few members of the bridge crew trailed behind that, all dressed to impress.
The Galactic Assembly had sent them ahead of the main envoy to meet with the Celzex under the impression that the two warrior races of humans and Drev would be best equipped to deal with this new race.
Together, they stopped just outside the conference room and made a few last minute adjustments to their uniforms. Most, if not everyone, eyed the door wondering what they would find behind it. Images of six foot tall monsters stuck with spines and mouths lined with glistening teeth.
Commander Vir took a quick, deep breath, and then pressed the button at the side of the door which slid open with a hydraulic hiss. He stepped forward single eye scanning around the room, and then immediately froze, “Sweet mother of…… aw-” A hand dropped onto his shoulder squeezing painfully to cut him off before he could continue.
Commander Vir turned to look up at Sunny, who had stopped him, his eyes were wrinkled in an imploring expression. Behind him, the other humans were filing into the room only to freeze in their tracks. Together their heads tilted, their shoulders bunched, and, despite having the prudence to keep silent, mouthing long and drawn out awwwws to each other.
Sunny had only ever seen this reaction on a couple of occasions usually involving small animals, and tiny human offspring.
For the commander’s part, he was able to keep his mouth shut only with some difficulty as he fought back the desire to pick one up and hold it, to squeeze it. It was just…. Too adorable.
The proud warrior race of the Celzex where about two feet tall at most constructed out of a colorful ball of fluff, with comparatively large feet and tiny toes. On its torso, which also acted as it’s head, it had a sort of piggish snout, massive wide eyes and a floppy pair of pig-like ears atop its head.
Commander Vir looked back at Sunny with a near pleading expression.
She shook her head at him as if to warn him that it would not be prudent to cuddle the delegation party.
One of the adorable creatures stood just then and marched over to where they stood. It’s feet were so large, that it was forced to walk with a rather floppy waddle. It wasn’t slow mind you, they actually looked quite nimble, but the walk definitely did not help. Sunny kept a hand on the Commander’s shoulder as he fought tooth and claw against his own instincts to squat down and ask the creature it’s name in his sweetest baby voice, used for dogs, and small children.
The creature stopped at his feet and looked up expectantly large eyes narrowed.
The human fought down another aww face, and snapped his hand to a salute, “L-” He cleared his throat here facial muscles twitching aggressively as he tried to maintain a serious face, “Lord Celex, I am Commander Vir of the UNSC and adjunct representative to the Galactic Assembly. We welcome you aboard our ship. Is there anything we may provide you during your stay?”
Lord Celex glowered up at the commander with one eye closed slightly more than the other. The effect was….. Probably not what Lord Celex had intended. Commander Vir’s mouth twitched, and his chin trembled. Sunny commended his efforts to fight back a smile.
He was clearly fighting a losing battle.
“We require none of your frivolities human. We are here to speak business though I warn you we will not tolerate disrespect from you or any of your men.” Though his voice was relatively normal through the translating software in their implants, they could still hear the high pitched yipping noises that were its real language.
Glancing over her shoulder she found similar reactions on the other humans. One of the marine’s eyes widened and he had to turn away covering his mouth with a hand.
There was a multitude of biting lips, staring at the ceiling, and downright smiling as they failed to hold their composure.
One of the marines stared ravenously forward with a hungry expression as if she planned on gathering them up in her arms and formally adopting them as her fuzzy children.
Commander Vir walked up to the table and pulled out a chair, “Shall we begin discussions then…. my …. Lord.” He tugged at the collar of his uniform, and Sunny watched the small creature stand taller. She realized with some amusement that his Lord probably thought the human was nervous…. Intimidated by his impressive stature and soldierly bearing.
Lord Celex and his followers refused to ask for smaller chairs, and in so doing they spent at least ten minutes watching as the creatures climbed onto the chairs, with some difficulty. Commander Vir fought heroically against a smile as the warlord scooted, wormed, and inched his way onto the chair using his face to balance himself before standing up.
Another marine looked onward as if he was just aching to go over and help them, or even to just hold one for a few seconds. The reactions about the table were similar, hands were rung, faces fought against their natural inclinations. Smiles erupted only to be covered by hands.
Sunny had never seen such longing on the face of any creature before.
It was almost heartbreaking to watch.
And it only got worse once the Celzex decided to explain their war practices to the humans. Though the Celzex had, somehow, managed to build ships and travel the universe, they also had no hands, so war, or dueling involved standing about ten feet apart from each other then running headlong into each other. Whoever fell over, or was knocked out lost and was forced to forfeit. This may have been manageable to control if they hadn’t brought videos to ‘demonstrate their might’.
Krill, standing off to the side, worried that the humans might just erupt. Trying to hold back laughter like that couldn’t have been healthy. A marine at the far end of the table struggled so hard his face was red, his body shook, and tears streamed from one of his eyes hand over his mouth as he fought desperately to keep quiet.
Commander Vir utterly failed to keep the smile from his face grinning madly hands clutched tightly on his lap.
Others of the marines clasped their hands as well held up to their chests with doting expressions.
Sunny found herself grateful that the Celzex appeared not to be able to read the human facial expressions. She was, however, forced to fight off a laugh. Coming from a true warrior race these practices were more than laughable.
“You see that we are not averse to war. Our people are mighty warriors and have been for thousands of years. You would do well to respect us, human! If the Galactic Assembly wishes to ally themselves with our might they must be willing to give us the respect we deserve. Is that clear.”
“Of course…. Lord Celex, the assembly will honor you wishes to- to the best of-its-abilities.” His voice had raised a few octaves straining against the baby voice, and a fit of laughter. The muscles about his mouth worked furiously to control himself, and he stood quickly saluting the creature again, “Forgive our quick exit… m-my Lord.” his voice was so tight by the end of this Krill worried that his larynx would blow apart with the pressure
Lord Celex waved a foot dismissively at the humans who were hurriedly rushed form the room, looking over their shoulders and back towards the Celzex with expressions of longing so profound Sunny worried she would have to tackle them.
Out in the hallway the humans were silent as they hurried up the hallway and away from the conference room. Once they were at a sufficient distance, the entire group of them burst into rochus laughter. Leaning against the walls, and sinking to the ground they were practically crying.
Through tears one of the marines lifted his hand and waved it about, “I am…. Lord Celex…f-fear my wrath.”
“I will destroy you with the power of cuddles!” more laughter
“But seriously guys can we just talk about HOW CUTE THEY ARE!” The sentiment was chorused. “I just want to hold one so bad.” One of the humans pouted looking down at their empty hands sadly.
Commander Vir leaned against the wall, “That was the hardest thing I have ever done…. I just wanted to…. To squeeze it …”
“So fluffy!” one of the other humans moaned.
Sunny had a feeling it might be prudent to send a different negotiating team next time. The humans had been valiant in their efforts, but they had been defeated profoundly by lord Celex. If things came to a war, she feared for their safety simply because the humans would be more likely to snuggle the creatures than to make war with them.
Dang its been a while since I’ve been so smiley. Wonderful!
Tokoyami: Isn’t 6:30 pm a little late for iced coffee?
Hawks: Yes
Hawks: *slurping his iced coffee* But mama ain’t raised no little bitch
Your mama didnt raise you at all
I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money.
“A scam” people are fucking wild.
This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?
I once paid for a woman’s bill at the vet…it wasn’t a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says “I don’t get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?”
So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.
And I don’t care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes.
Do good recklessly.
I think “Do good recklessly” would be fantastic word art to hang on one’s wall. Artistic people, go!
So this has happened to me but from the other side. Several years ago when my oldest was around three or so, I had my debit card decline at Walmart. It wasn’t a scam or a mistake, I was genuinely broke. Out of money. I checked my bank and discovered I had something like 7 dollars left to my name and a hungry kid and nothing to eat at home. So I sat there trying to come up with the best way to stretch that tiny amount of money to feed my kid. Not even to feed me. I can live on popcorn or something if I have to but my kid was three and he had to eat. So there I am trying really hard not to cry while I slowly take things out of my basket to get it down to under 7 bucks, when a lady tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and she smiled at me and started putting the things back in my cart. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn’t have the money for them but she stopped me right away and said “Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be fine.” Then she handed the cashier her credit card and said “Ring up all of it.” My kid got to eat because of her. I got to eat because of her. I had laundry soap and deodorant because of her. She could’ve just ignored me silently struggling in that line. She could’ve decided I was a scam and gone home feeling good about avoiding being duped. But instead she chose to help me and she saved us. So maybe the person struggling in front of you is trying to put one over on you or maybe they are just sad and broke and trying to figure out what to do. You get to decide which you want to believe and what you want to do. But I’ll tell y’all, no one has ever been more beautiful to me than that lady in that line who saved me and my baby. Be like her. Be beautiful.
Do good recklessly
DO BETTER. BE BETTER. STRIVE TO BE BETTER.
DO GOOD RECKLESSLY
One time, my dad and I were living the grocery store and there was a guy outside asking for money to buy some stuff to take home for his kids. It was around Christmas time. My dad asked him if he could give him groceries instead of money, and the guy immediately said yes, so my dad gave him one of everything we bought (meat, rice, some chocolates, milk, oil). At that time, my dad hadn’t gotten his paycheck because the company he worked for was going through a tough time, but he didn’t care, he saw an opportunity to help someone and he did.
Another time, my dad gave 50 bucks to a guy who said he needed to buy medicine for his kids. I told my dad he was probably going to spend the money on alcohol or something, but my dad said that “whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”.
I never forget that.
Can we make Do good recklessly The slogan on 2019
Do Good Recklessly
Because if anything this is the year we need it more than ever.
Do Good Recklessly 2021.
“whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”
Words to goddamn live by
Beautiful.
chaos enriched by the heart
Oh my gosh. I just found this website that walks you though creating a believable society. It breaks each facet down into individual questions and makes it so simple! It seems really helpful for worldbuilding!
Here’s the last of the Camp Counselor Jason and Carrie Crossover! I just realized that this month is when Prom Night happens!
I always wondered if Carrie would’ve snapped out of her rage if anyone had actually taken some time to go up to her and help. But I guess this is my fancanon if someone did.
Part1 / Part 2
TWITTER // INSTAGRAM
fantasy characters: “Geez”
me: who the fuck spread Christianity there
this two-years-old shitpost just gained a hundred notes who the snickerdoodles dug it up
W H A T
@rogha